Tattoos on the Heart

Sister, my brother has a a heartbreaking problem with. his son who is 11 and losing his faith. My brother has divorced and remarried (there was an annulment), and now this kid spends half his time with his mother (who has since divorced & remarried twice), and the other half in my brother's new home. Very ugly circumstances--the "natural" mother has had little interest in raising her son, though she wants "her share" of custody. He is in counseling, Catholic school, attends Mass and the sacraments, and in my brother's house practices the faith devoutly. But he is sinking under. Is there a saint whose intercession we could beg? Anything we could give him to read? How can we help this poor kid?

Poor kid. 

We could turn to the Holy Family.  But that's not my recommendation for today. Not that is ever a bad idea.  It's just that when we think of the Holy Family we call to mind a family full of love and peace and compassion for each other and the people around them, not a family blown apart by divorce and rancor.

Wait a minute.

I've changed my mind. That is my recommendation. Because what that boy needs is a family full of love and peace and compassion for one another and the people around them, including his poor mother. Whatever she may be or how ever she may fall short, she is his mother. 

In order for the child to have faith, everyone around him must live theirs.  That is the very best you can do.

I think of Father Greg Boyle, the Jesuit who has spent his life working with gang bangers, the lowest of the low, the meanest of the mean. He approaches only with love.

“Here is what we seek: a compassion that can stand in awe at what the poor have to carry rather than stand in judgment at how they carry it.” 
― Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion

He isn't just talking about a lack of money and what that causes people to do. He is also talking about the poor of spirit and also reminds us:

“Kinship– not serving the other, but being one with the other. Jesus was not “a man for others”; he was one with them. There is a world of difference in that.” 
― Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion

If Father Boyle can make as much headway as he does with these people, imagine what we can do, leading by example, with more 'ordinary' folks!

Don't run around with your hair on fire. It's also perfectly normal for an eleven year old boy to question religion and philosophy. Children at this age are figuring out who they are, who they want to emulate and more than anything else, they yearn for autonomy from their parents and authority figures. It sounds as though the family has already done everything they can to give him a firm base from which to grow. Sometimes questioning your faith helps reaffirm it.

Teach him the Memorare. 

Remember, Oh most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known, that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly to thee, Oh virgin of virgins, my mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Oh mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petition, but in they mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

Tell him the name of the prayer is "Remember".  He will, for his whole life and in times of great need.

And call on St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children.  Santa Claus never let anyone down.