It's the End of the World as We Know It

Sister, can you help me sort out some things regarding the Hereafter? On the one hand, we've got Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory, with the assumption that people go to one or the other of these places when they die. On the other hand, we've got the Last Judgement, when Christ will come and sort everybody out to the place they're supposed to go for the rest of eternity. My understanding is that "everybody" means both the living-on-earth and the already-dead-on-earth-but-whose-souls-are-living-someplace-else-now. Am I wrong? Will Christ only sort out the quick and not the dead? Or am I just confused all the way around? Because I don't get how people can now be in heaven or hell AND have Christ later make a last judgement on their souls when the end times come.

It's not rocket science.

Here you go, into the afterlife.

1. You are a saint, or die the death of a martyr.  Straight to Heaven with you.  We'll be asking for you intercession and congratulations on your canonization!

2. You are normal.  You're not a bad person. You're fairly decent. You try hard.  But you've never been able to forgive Aunt Minnie for totaling your car that New Year's Eve in 1982.  You have worn your skirts too short until someone pulled you aside and explained to you that you're 52 and no one is interested in your thighs.  You feel entitled to some paper clips and legal pads from work because heaven knows they don't pay you enough. You're jealous of your sister.  You don't even know why.
Purgatory for you, my dear. We don't know for how long.  We'll pray for your fast release.  Watch for St. Patrick.  Some believe he delivers a few souls every Saturday. You might want to shoot for a Friday passing.

3.  You are Hitler.  Straight to Hell with you.

(Now....we never say that anyone is in Hell for sure. Even Hitler.  In his final moments, he may have realized what he did wrong and been deeply sorry and asked Jesus for forgiveness.  Short of that, straight to Hell.)

So that's that.  But....

4. You're still alive when the Mayan calendar gives out and here comes Jesus.  You've lived until Judgment day.  Scary!  There's no time left for Purgatory, so Jesus is going to have to make a snap assessment.  Heaven or Hell for you?

So, you might want to check your hemline now, because we both know the Mayans have no clue when Judgment day will actually occur.  You will be so chagrined if the ground opens up and swallows you, as you watch Aunt Minnie get shot up to Heaven because she was so very sorry about your car and she never touched another drop.

The Last Judgment is for people who are alive to experience it. Everyone else is already where they are going or about to go.  Heaven and Hell are permanent.  Purgatory is a guarantee of an eventual trip to Heaven.

Does this help?  Because otherwise you can do what I do when I don't understand what God is planning.  Chalk it up to  "It's a Sacred Mystery"  which is "Catholic" for "just let it go."

Going Gentle Into That Good Night

I must apologize to this reader for the delay in responding to this question. I thought we should get a start on the week before we tackle the tough stuff.

Dear Sister,
I need to pray for my mother. She suffers from Alzheimer's to the extent that she is completely unresponsive to any stimuli.


She always told us that she would never want to be a 'vegetable', and put a no heroic measures in her will- but she has been kept alive for 2 years in this state and the Dr s say that she may well live on for another 5 or more...


Can I pray for her release? I fear that she is trapped, alone, in a totally unresponsive husk of a body. Is there a Saint who would help?

And thank you for your wonderful blog.

Of course you can pray for her release, and yours.  But take heart.

Perhaps, because of her suffering here and now, she will zoom straight to Heaven, bypassing Purgatory altogether.  I often thought about that when my own father declined with the glacial slowness that chipped away at his fatherhood, his manhood and his humanity. Surely, this counts for something!

Your job, in the meantime, is to make sure that her human dignity and the honor due her as your mother is maintained to the utmost.  I'm sure that is exactly what you are doing, in every way, with all of your heart.

And also take heart that although she is indeed trapped in that husk of a body, she may also be visiting happy and loving moments from her life, or communing with angels.  And if she isn't, she soon will be, because although it all seems like endless suffering eternity now, in the great scheme of things, even 5 years is a very short time.

In regards to a patron saint....there are quite a few saints who were paralyzed, desperately ill, unable to speak, "trapped" as you put it.  They did not pray for release, but accepted their suffering with joy. That's why they are saints.

But it's perfectly okay for you to pray for your mother to have a gentle passing as soon as possible. That would be good old St. Joseph, the patron saint of a happy death. We believe that Mary and Jesus were with St. Joseph when he died. What could be happier than that?

Modern Maladies

It looks like this is shaping up to be a patron saint matching week.  It's one of my favorite hobbies! So, let's have at it.

Thank you, Sister for the time you take to entertain and educate us. I hope you can help with a Saint matching for me. I have a friend who has been recently diagnosed with conversion disorder. The case is very severe and she is completely disabled and unable to care for herself. She requires in home nursing care and her family is suffering terribly, along with her. I do what I can to help from time to time, but I know that prayer is the only thing I can do to help her all the time. 

I have to say, it has been quite an interesting situation for me to have so many people educate me about so many things I know nothing about.  Finding patron saints for modern maladies has been an exhilarating challenge.

I really thought "Conversion disorder?"  It called to mind a recent "Dear Abby" letter of a woman who was insulted by her born again friend's constant needling about where the woman would end up after the Last Judgment.  I'm sure any readers who saw this question in the comments section went running to the Google.  I certainly did.


Conversion Disorder is a psychological state that causes a physical reaction.  The person simply shuts down.  No one knows exactly how it works or what exactly causes it, because the person afflicted can't tell you about the the mental torture that's caused them to live it what surely must be a very private Hell.  I was thinking it must be a lot like catatonia, but the word catatonic was not used to describe the symptoms.

But a patron saint sprang to mind as I read about the disorder: St. Rosalia, the patron saint for people who just need to get away from it all.

Little Rosalia was a descendant of Charlemagne!  But in an effort to live a holy life, she took herself off to be a hermit and lived in a cave.  After a few years in that cave, she moved to a new cave and then one day, the cave caved in on her.

She had been long forgotten by then, so no one even noticed she was gone.

So Rosalia took herself away from life, too. And unlike her, your friend has people who care about that and want to protect and help her. No one has forgotten her.

In the end, no one forgot Rosalia either.  When a plague hit Palermo, Italy, Rosalia appeared to a man and told him where to find her bones.  He unearthed her, brought her home, and many people were cured.  There is still a big party in her honor every year in Palermo. 

I have a little side note for her family: St. Gemma!  She was bedridden for so long at home with her family caring for her. The whole Galgani family are surely saints in Heaven.

Buttons and Bows

 It's a rainy Monday here, so let's cheer up and start the week on a happy note, shall we?


Dear Sister Mary Martha,


Do you have a suggestion for a saint to help with depression and anxiety - mostly anxiety?


Sincerely,


Jenna

Let's take a look at the issue of depression and anxiety from a slightly different angle today, shall we?

Before we begin, let's admit that depression and anxiety can be due to chemicals in your brain and that you may want to seek medical attention, that it may indeed be very important for you to do so.

That said, I normally shove people in the direction of Mother Teresa of Calcutta because she famously suffered from what is known as  a 'dark night of the soul', which is a fancy, theological way of saying she felt abandoned by God and was very depressed about it.  Being the busy gal that she was, she must have had a good deal of anxiety about that. Her book outlines her depression and anxiety.

But today, let's also admit that many of us feel depression and anxiety because the world around us makes it seem as though everybody else is doing pretty well, living happy lives surrounded by loved ones.  They are all out there posting pictures of their dogs, snuggled in the bedclothes, and the kids, smiling from ear to ear in the snow.  They send emails quoting hopeful messages of love and inspiration.  Their houses are cleaner than ours. They don't have a lot of junk on the floor of their cars and they don't forget appointments or birthdays.

  THEM

 

YOU

 Or, just when you do feel rather happy and relaxed, you realize that there are people suffering and dying and starving, there are wars, shootings, murders, chopped up people, dogs being kicked and yet another political debate scheduled for this evening.

So let's find a patron saint for that type of depression and anxiety, too.  Lo! and Behold! Her feast day is today!  She hasn't been canonized yet, but only because they haven't set a date for the party!

This little German girl grew up in Utica, New York, worked in a factory and became a nun.  She was a born leader and quickly became a Mother Superior, over and over again.

She ran a hospital.

Meanwhile, over in Hawaii, a leprosy epidemic caused the government to dump all the poor sick people together on one island.  Just dumped there. Good luck to you, lepers!  At least the weather's nice!  There were so many of them, they couldn't check them onto the island fast enough. A call went out to the nuns in the Mainland.  Anyone care to come and help out?

Sister Marianne Cope took 6 nuns, all with their hands eagerly in the air to go along, and spent the next 30 years caring for the lepers.

And what does all of this have to do with depression and anxiety?  Sister Marianne couldn't stand the depressing atmosphere. Why should these poor sick people, doomed by their disease and corralled onto an island, have to live out their days slumping around in despair? Why shouldn't they find some joy in life?

She established a school for girls and made sure they had pretty dresses!  She drummed up parties and generated entertainment.  She found joy where there had only been sorrow.  And she put a brightly colored bow on it.

She probably invented clipping plastic flowers to flip flops.  I made that up.  But she would have done that if she had some flip flops and some plastic flowers.

In any case, she was beatified back in 2005.  But just last month her second miracle was confirmed! She's in!  Be sure and wear a pretty dress on the day she is canonized.

The Patron Saint of ADD

Hi Sister! I need your help with helping to choose a confirmation saint for my husband. Well, he needs your help. He's an artist, but also really into comic books. He's got really bad ADD, and has a hard time finishing things. He also is a revert and came to the Church a bit later in life though he was baptized Catholic. I thought Augustine would be great, but he's read about him and doesn't feel like they have a lot "in common." Any thoughts? A couple he could read up on would be great!

Yes! I would recommend St. John of God.  He is one of my favorite saints, bouncing rootlessly from one thing to the next until he had a complete nervous breakdown.  Then he became a hero. How's that for really bad ADD?  He also came to the church later in life.

And!  He sold holy cards.  I know it isn't comic books, but they didn't have comic books back then.  People don't seem as fascinated with holy cards these days, but when I was a child there was always a stock pile of them at the back of church and a pack of different ones from which to choose at every funeral.  I still have a large collection left from everyone in our family who has gone to where the woodbine twineth.

The boys always liked the ones that were rather gruesome, like St. Lawrence being roasted, or St. Sebastian shot full of arrows.   St. Bartholomew having his skin peeled off was a big hit.

Personally, I liked variety and gravitated toward action pictures, rather than a picture of some old saint with his head bowed, staff in hand, book in the other.  I liked St. Mary Magdelene, draped over a big rock, praying for forgiveness.  St. Rita with a heavenly light drilling a permanent hole in her forehead.  Or if they were just going to stand there, at least be standing with something interesting. St. Lucy with her eyes on the plate.  St. Catherine of Alexandria with her giant spiked wheel.

I'm sure I came by this interest because of the statues lining the aisle of my parish. There were pillars all the way up both sides of the church and each pillar had an almost life size statue of a saint.  I'm sure some of them were life size, because people used to be much smaller.  I used to stare at them until their eyes blinked.  Ever do that?  If you stare long enough their eyes will blink.

But I digress.  If your husband likes comic books, he also likes heroes.  St. John of God became a hero. He ran a makeshift hospital, begging to get the beds, blankets and equipment he needed.  When it caught on fire, he carried out the patients and then went back in for the precious mattresses. As a result, he is also the patron saint of firefighters.

Quite a character, John of God.  A great saint.

It's a Jungle Out There

Hello Sr..You have mentioned bible study on ur own is a recipe for potential danger..could you explain.

Ur?  This is not a text!  For the next twenty minutes, please write the word "your" on the blackboard.

It's not just me.  Because the Catholic Church realizes that a lot of the language and imagery in the Bible is loaded with symbolism and layers of meaning, the Church in Her wisdom would rather you didn't dig around in there on your own.

On top of which, which Bible are your reading? Which translation?

Digging around in the Bible on your own is rather what caused the giant mess of denominations that now crowd the planet.  Martin Luther was mad at the Church, thought the authority was corrupt and advised everyone to skip the 'middle man' and just interpret the Bible for yourself. As soon as that happened, everyone had their hands up, yelling, "I think it means this!  I think it means that!"  And the next thing you know you have Calvinism and Puritans, Methodists and Seventh Day Adventists.

Hence my admonishment "a recipe" for disaster.  You can follow the recipe by reading any history of the origins of the various Christian denominations. One group of people sitting in pews doesn't agree with one little thing that some of the other people sitting in those same pews think that one little passage in the Bible means and the next thing you know they've built their own pews and before you know it, you have Jim Jones preaching in a remote jungle to get away from everyone else's interpretation.

Yes, we'd like you to actually read the Bible, by yourself even.  But before you find yourself in a jungle drinking Kool-Aid, please then go back and read about how the Church interprets what you've read.  And if you're going to sit around in a group and discuss it all, make sure to do some research about tonight's passages before you have a bunch of hands in the air, yelling, "I think it means...."

A Soft Place to Land

Sister, Would you please guide me to a patron saint. These are my issues: I work full time as a school guidance counselor, I am married and have three children. My son is a nice young adult who has graduated from college and lives successfully on his own. My daughters are a mess. Both still live at home. The oldest thinks partying is her main purpose in life and she has a daughter out of wedlock. The youngest suffers from mental illness and struggles from day to day. Needless to say I feel stressed and am often vacillating between being angry, frustrated, and worried sick. I would really appreciate your guidance. Thank you your blog really is a bright spot for me.

You need to head straight to St. Monica.  Her child was a mess, too.  He ended up being a Doctor of the Church. Her husband was no picnic, either, but her prayers straightened him out as well.

When we ask a saint to pray for us, just the same as when we ask our friends to pray for us, we pick a saint who we feel understands our travails.  But I think St. Monica is a good choice for another reason.

Keeping in mind that St. Monica has no power to help out except through intercessory prayer, like anyone else who might pray for you, clearly, prayer is something at which Monica really, really excelled.

Keep in mind one other thing: Monica led by example.

One of our wonderful readers who left a comment suggested Our Lady of Perpetual Help.  I couldn't agree more.  For me, she is the soft place to land when life pushes your to your wits end.  You know that saying that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle?  I don't believe that.  Whoever said that just made up something that sounded good.  Life kills people all the time.  PTSD, anyone?

But God has provided us with grace and sanctuary, and one of the many ways he has done that is through Mary.  God provided us with a mother, Mary the Mother of God.

Go home to mother!  Here is the prayer to Our Lady of Perpetual Help:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known, that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, oh virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petition, but in they mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

If we back away from the fancy language what does the prayer say?
Mary, everyone knows that you have never turned a deaf ear to anyone who has asked for your intercession.  This makes me feel safe in asking for your help, even though I don't feel much like I deserve any help from anyone, let alone, you.  Thank you for your compassion for me.

And hey, everybody! Can we please note the word INTERCESSION, right in the prayer, there? Thanks.

I think teaming up with Mary will help your stress level enormously, knowing you have two very powerful pray-ers, on your team.

One word of advice.  Stop being a doormat for that girl.  If she's out too late, lock the door. Make yourself available to babysit, only if the child's mother is at work or at school and at no other time. She'll need to find a job to pay a sitter. Set some boundaries, as they say.  She can treat you with respect and pitch into the household (far be it from me to dismiss the idea of communal living!) or she can leave.

I have compassion for her, as she may be behaving badly due to the stress you are all under. But she's going to have to try out some new coping mechanisms.

Also, drop the anger. It's okay to feel anger. It's not okay to harbor anger.  Recognize it for what it is: pain that is not resolved.

Okay, that was more than one word.  Now, you'll have Monica to help you out!

Good King Wenceslas Looks In

We have some lingering holiday questions to address that went wanting while we drank eggnog.  Although I'm sure most have you have now chucked your crispy old Christmas trees to the curb, we still have work to do.  About that Good King Wenceslas number:

I was told that this song was a protestant version of the actual miracle. Supposedly, the truth was that the Duke (he wasn't actually a king)was going to Adoration on a very cold night and the page was his torch bearer. The page was freezing, he walked in the saint's steps, he miraculously warmed up.


The author of the song was a protestant minister and wanted to high light acts of charity rather than, say, Eucharistic Adoration, so he changed the story around.


That's what I was told, and I'd love to know if it's the truth! I care very much because St. Wenceslaus is my name saint. Have you heard this before?

I have not heard that before and it doesn't really ring true to me. While I could see how some separated brethren writing a Christmas carol would change a story from a King going out for Eucharist Adoration to something else, the separated brethren are not high on emphasizing charitable acts as a path to Heaven, either.

The man who penned the Wenceslas ditty,  John Mason Neale, did change around a song to tell his story.  He actually took an old spring song and dumped those lyrics, replacing them with the good king.  Here's the timeline on the whole shebang: Duke Wenceslas the actual person, early 10th century,  Old Spring song ("Now is the time for flowering"), early 16th century, Good King Wenceslas, the Christmas Carol, 1853. 

Was Duke Wenceslas headed out for Eucharist Adoration when the poor man came in sight?  There is nothing to suggest that that is the true story.  Writing about Wenceslas in 1119, a chronicler stated:

But his deeds I think you know better than I could tell you; for, as is read in his Passion, no one doubts that, rising every night from his noble bed, with bare feet and only one chamberlain, he went around to God’s churches and gave alms generously to widows, orphans, those in prison and afflicted by every difficulty, so much so that he was considered, not a prince, but the father of all the wretched.

 This activity, whether true or not, prompted a Pope to get out and walk around in the snow in his bare feet as well.  The Pope and his feet survived the ordeal.

Also, Rev. Neale wrote the song for Boxing Day, another indication that the song didn't change the story.  It's a good Boxing Day story, isn't it?

And yes, Wenceslas was not a king, but a duke.  But he was given the honorarium "King" because of his devotion in spite of his high status.

It is a Protestant song, I'll give you that.  Neale was a big deal in the Anglican church, a big enough deal that his attitudes were suppressed by his bishop for 14 years.

The truly interesting thing in all of this is the story of Neale. He founded  the Society of St. Margaret, which was a group of women dedicated to nursing the sick.  What does that sound like to you?  He founded an order of Sisters.  So right away that was suspect by the separated brethren, separated at this point in time by only 300 years.  They had just lost John Newman to the Catholics and they did not like anything that smacked on Catholicism. St. Margaret, indeed. The powers that be thought that perhaps Rev. Neale was a Vatican plant, sent to subvert their church (that was based on subversion from the Catholic Church).

What goes around comes around, eh?

We don't believe that.  We believe that the Truth has a way of setting itself free.

Rev. Neale was mauled at the funeral of one of his Sisters and he was threatened on other occasions with stoning and people who wanted to burn down his house.  In the end, he and his Sisters survived and thrived, living on to do good deeds.

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

No, you won't have to watch you little sister tear apart the snow man family in the middle of the night because she doesn't want to move.  It's Little Christmas!  The Feast of the Epiphany!

I've talked about the "Wise Men" before.  But what is the significance of these fellows of unknown origin and numbers?  (I, for one, am happy that we've settled on the manageable number of three, because they are the heaviest statues to lug up out of the church basement. Two on still on their camels and on is off his camel, so we have to lug up his camel, too.)  They are here to continue the narrative of Jesus, that He is here for everyone, the poor and the mighty both.

I also particularly enjoy this feast day because we get to visit with St. Joseph again.  We don't hear much about him in the New Testament, although we now keep him busy with patronages from workers to real estate, from a happy death, to the entire country of Italy.

You know, Italy has more exorcisms than any other country?  What's that about?

I digress.

This is the point where St. Joseph is at his best, getting the information that his family is in grave danger and taking swift and decisive, and very loving, action.  He made his way with them to Egypt on foot with no GPS  or Triple A.  It seems that everything went fine for them from then on, except for one small glitch when the Mary and Joseph lost track of Jesus for a bit, which turned out to be no big deal in the lost child department.

St. Joseph gives us such a sense of peace, doesn't he?  He did everything that was asked of him and he made it look easy.  My dad was kind of like that.

I was tickled to find out that today is the feast day of the newly minted St. Andre, formerly known as Blessed Brother Andre of Montreal.  What a good match to put his feast day on this day! He was devoted to St. Joseph.

St. Andre is famous for having built the Oratory of St. Joseph with his simple devotion and persistence.  “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures,” he once said.  But in his lifetime, the reason he was able to accomplish so much is because he had become a rather famous healer, rubbing the sick with oil from the lamps in the chapel at the rectory.  St. Joseph's oil is on sale at the Oratory gift shop. I have some!  Because so many people knew him, people also came to know his cause.

Of course people thought the oil was miraculous, but St. Andre was careful to remind them that it was not the oil the healed, but St. Joseph.

And now, we have to be careful to remind people that when he said that, we, as Catholics, know that is short hand for  'it is not the oil that healed, but the intercessory prayer of St. Joseph'.  The separated brethren are confused enough.  I know it's cumbersome to go around saying, "Pray for the intercessory prayer of St. Anthony" but I think we should consider it.  At least boil it down to "Ask St. Anthony to pray for you"  instead of "Pray to St. Anthony."

Enjoy the day!

Lean Your Ear This Way

St. Gemma was so pretty.


SMM, I have been a volunteer child advocate through the national CASA (court appointed special advocate) program on and off for ten years. Is there a saint for advocates of children?

Of course! Jolly old St. Nicholas!  Santa Claus is the patron saint for children.  The story has a "Sweeney Todd" flair to it.  It seems during a time of famine and evil innkeeper murdered three children, chopped them to pieces and put the pieces in the pickle barrel to cure.

He was planning on passing them off as ham.  Perhaps they were chubby children.

But St. Nicholas came along and solved the crime.  We don't know how he did that.  Perhaps he fancied a pickle and lifted the lid to help himself.  This is why, by the way, we have the "Christmas Pickle",  a German tradition of hiding a pickle ornament somewhere on the Christmas tree. The child who finds it gets a prize. We have two Christmas pickles on our tree.  I can never find them when it's time to take the tree down. No prize for me! And I'm the one who puts them on there in the first place.

I digress.

St. Nicholas rescued the children and miraculously brought them back to life.

Now, while I'm dubious that any of this took place,  I can imagine that you sometimes feel as though you are rescuing chopped up children hidden in pickle barrels.  But that's not really happening to you, either.

It does seem to me that St. Nicholas had a sweet heart, or these legends would not have arisen around him.  We don't have legends of sweet things done by nasty people or even crabby people.  Legends arise from the heart, because of bravery, compassion, strength.

Here's to your bravery, compassion and strength.  I hope Santa was good to you this year.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

Hi Sister, do you have any advice, Catholic advice, for how to get through the holidays when you feel sad, depressed, lonely. I have no energy. I wish there were no holidays. All the advice I read is about how to accomplish your shopping or entertaining. I want to know how to deal with God's birthday when you feel too sad to wish Him a happy birthday. Do you know what I mean?

Happy New Year!  Here I am with an answer to your question, a day late and a dollar short.  I'm sorry I'm so late to answer your question.  Perhaps I am just impossibly early, for next Christmas.

Although, you did say you wish there were no holidays, and there are plenty between now and what we have come to call the "holiday season" because there are three in a row.

Here's the problem, I can't really answer your question.  It would be rude for me to tell you to lighten up, smack a smile on your face and get over yourself if you are suffering from clinical depression.  If that's the issue, you can't do these things.  I understand that.

I might be able to help a little with some perspective.  We live in a time of abundance in everything. Even if we are poor and struggling and eating beans and rice for dinner every night, we are better off than the pioneers coming across the plains in Conestoga wagons eating lard and sugar and losing the little ones under the wagon wheels.  Or the indigenous peoples who were slaughtered to make way for those wagons.

We can eat our beans and rice in front of the tube, travel without too much work involved by sitting on some sort of gas powered chair or couch on wheels. We have an abundance of all kinds of choices of food, types of clothing, freedom of choice in how we behave.

We should already be clicking up our heels in joy and then...(dramatic musical sting) THE HOLIDAYS.  Somehow, we are supposed to ramp up our heel clicking and add even more of everything to everything for about a month.  That's exhausting, and sometimes utterly overwhelming. No wonder we feel sad and let down.

On top of that, we also have a lot of social media where we get to see what everyone had for breakfast and how lovely their lives are and how pretty their children look and how cute the dog is in his Santa hat. No one wants to post depressing things because no one wants to read them or think about them. So we have a very VAST false front. A permeating facade of perpetual happiness and success.

That could make anyone feel sad, depressed and lonely.

The simple answer, if there is one, is to let it go.  Focus your attention on love and gratitude and compassion. Try to ramp those things up.  And yes, smile.  Even if you don't feel like it. I will remind you that it takes less muscles to do that.

I emphasize the word "try".  Because maybe you can and maybe you can't.  But you certainly can't if you don't try a little.  One thing.  The smile.

Or the thank you.

Or the "Happy Birthday, Jesus".  After all, why do we wish people a happy birthday in the first place.  Why do we feel bad when we don't get a happy birthday wish?  Isn't it because saying "happy birthday" is a way of saying "I'm glad you were born"?

If you are not clinically depressed, you really need to examine why you are sad, depressed and lonely.  If your problem is not a chemical imbalance, then yes, I do have some advice for you.

But if you are, here is some advice from someone who bears the same burden.

Servant of God, The Soldier's Wife

Dear Sister Mary Martha,


I appreciate your blog so very much! I love how you always seem to find just the right patron saint for any cause. And so I'm writing to you with my own question: who would you recommend as the patron saint for military spouses? With all the loneliness, the worrying, and the hardships that we are facing, we could use our own saint for intercessions. My friend Maia was thinking of St. Margaret of Scotland (her reasons are stated here, but can you think of a saint whose husband was NOT killed in battle and came home safe and sound instead?
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer this!

I have come up with a couple of saints, but I'm not sure you're going to like them.  You seem to want a happy ending saint and the truth is, not a lot of saints have a happy ending.  That's why they're saints.

The saint that sprang to mind for me was St. Elizabeth of Hungary.  Ever notice how many hospitals are named after her?  There's a reason for that.  She was the daughter of the King of Hungary and was married off to a prince at age 14.

FOURTEEN!

She was deliriously happy with her prince, however and he with her.  They had three children and a great life, although no one else was happy with Elizabeth.  It seems she didn't care much for being well off and pampered.  She constantly gave away everything to the poor and tried to live a simple life.  It even got on her husband's nerves a bit.  The family was really irritated with her at all times.  She was so well known for her generosity, that poor people flocked to the gates of the palace.  The family was not amused.

And then, after only six years of bliss,  her husband went off to the Crusades and well....not a happy ending here.  He never came back.  Elizabeth spent the rest of her life grief stricken over his loss.  But she put all that sad energy to good use, giving away everything she had and taking care of the sick to the point where she had inadvertently opened a hospital.  She died at age 24. She is the patron saint of happy marriages.

But....you wanted a happy ending for the soldier's long suffering wife.  So let's go with a patron saint of hand wringing and fretting that pays off.  St. Monica.  Her husband and son gave her fits, but all her worry and prayer helped her son become one of the greatest saints to walk the earth.  They weren't soldiers, though.

How about St. Helena?  Her son Constantine was a great general, a constant soldier.  He turned the whole known world to Christianity.  St. Helena found the true relics of the cross and if you think she wasn't constantly worried about her son, take note that she took one of the nails that had bound Jesus to the Cross and sewed it into the bridle of Constantine's horse.

She doesn't seem like the best fit for you, though, because although she suffered on her own when she was younger (her husband dumped her for a younger model), she ended up being the Empress of the world and living in the lap of luxury and doing whatever she wanted to do.

So finally, in my search, I did a little reading about soldier's wives and how they cope, spiritually.  I found a group who meets on the army base.  They are women of all denominations and they have a Bible reading support group.  I always grit my teeth a little when a bunch of people get together for "Bible study" on their own, because that is just a recipe for potential disaster.  But here is the conclusion this group came to, an idea to which they cling: their soldier husbands do not belong to them.  They belong to God.

And as such, they cope by understanding their role as servants.  Their husbands are serving.  And the women are serving, too, just in a different way.

To that end, I recommend St. Zita, the ultimate servant.  That's all Zita ever was.  She wasn't the wife of a nobleman soldier or the mother of anyone, let alone a saint.  She was the maid.

She was such a pious good girl that for quite a while, no one liked her.  People are suspect of goodness, sadly. She was beaten and overworked and given every terrible job from the time she clocked in at age 12.  But nothing could shake her calm, nothing could destroy her deep sense of inner peace.  She loved everyone anyway.  Eventually, her relentless goodness won everyone over, as its relentlessness proved its sincerity. Zita was made the head of the whole household.

What was her secret?  She felt that her work  and her place in life was God's will and therefore she was doing what was assigned to her by God.  She did it masterfully,  always tending the needs of others, studying them to anticipate their needs.

And she had a very happy ending.  She died peacefully in her sleep in her old age in her attic room.  Her soul was seen flying out of the house accompanied by angels. Her incorrupt body is still with us. It's in a glass case that someone like her has to polish.

Angels and Demons

Sister, I have a question for you: Do angels and demons, or the devil share any characteristics with God? I ask because we talk about the devil tempting us or about a guardian angel watching over us...So does that mean that they can be in many places at once and see into our hearts and know things we can't know? Thank you and thank you for your great work for the Church!

We all share characteristics with God.  We are made in His image and likeness. I don't believe that notion has gone out any windows.  Angels and devils certainly share characteristics.  God made them, too.  All devils were once angels.

In our attempt to understand the supernatural, which is beyond our understanding, we picture angels and devils as beings like us except the good ones have wings and halos and the bad ones have horns and tails wings.  The unfortunate down side of this characterization is that it makes devils look more powerful than angels.  They are so often giant and red, with massive horns and long fingernails, while angels are sweet faced Swedish looking types.  I think that is by artistic design to remind us, if not scare the devil out of us, about what we're up against.

But always remember who won the battle in the first place.  The angels won.  That should tell us who to back.  That's why I never understood these silly people who want to be Satanists and worship the devil and all that nonsense.  I understand how people make the mistake of following earthly evil, like say, Hitler, because of their misguided notions and fears.  But why would anyone want to follow the thing that lost the battle and the power in the first place in the pursuit of power on earth with the full understanding that after that's over, it all adds up to eternity in Hell?  Because if you are a follower of Satan, you do believe in an afterlife and Hell, or you couldn't believe in Satan in the first place.  So, really, how dumb can you get?

I digress.

What was the question?  Oh, yes!  the characteristics of God.

We don't know what angels and devils actually look like.  When angels appear in the Bible, they look just like us, but they are able to come and go supernaturally.  Tobias travels all over with his friend, Raphael, who happens to be an archangel.  They seem to all appear as young men (who are created in God's likeness). Abraham has some angels over for lunch.

When the devil comes to tempt Jesus in the desert, we really don't get a description of him.  We never see the demons that afflict humans through possession, we just see the ugly results.  The devil in the desert rather seems to be walking around talking to Jesus like a person, but the devil does show Jesus visions of how great it would be if Jesus would give up all the God stuff and follow Satan instead. Jesus, who has a brain in His head, says no.  That certainly would have been a coup for the devil, to have the Second Person in the Holy Trinity on his side.

But the devil is always a loser.

My point is that angels and devils, though we have seen them in rather human form, are not humans.  Angels are not human beings who have died and gone to Heaven and devils are not human beings who have died and gone to Hell.  If an angel "doesn't have his wings", he's just not that kind of angel, despite what SzuSzu's teacher said.  Angels don't even need wings to travel around, as Tobias and Abraham can attest.

As beings that God created, we assume they, too, have some of His characteristics.  What your question actually refers to is their supernatural powers, like bi-location and what geeks call 'shape-shifting', like taking on human form.  I'm not sure if they can 'see into our hearts'.  I wouldn't put it past them.  There are humans who have those powers, like Padre Pio (who could also bi-locate).

Just keep in mind that these gifts, like the gift of life itself, come from God.  The devil shows us that we always have a choice in how to use our gifts.

Tread Thou in Them Boldly

Today is the day the Good King Wenceslaus looked out at the snow that was deep and crisp and even.  Actually, it's not today, it's tonight, because the moon was bright (although the frost was cruel).  The Good King spotted a poor man gathering wood for his fire.  He asked his page if the page knew where the poor man lived, and the page knew exactly where the poor man lived.  So Wenceslaus told the page to make up a box of groceries and stuff with a plan to bring it to the poor man so they could sit and watch him eat it all.

Nothing would have happened without the page, really.  The king wouldn't have known where to find the man and even if he could have figured it out, he would have had to get the groceries together himself.  I'll bet the page carried all the stuff once they went out, too, because otherwise, if you think about it, why did he have to go out there with the King?  It wasn't the page's idea he had already told Wenceslaus where to head.

We never hear anything about what happened once they reached the poor man's house. We are more interested in what happened on the way, when the poor page nearly froze to death but was saved by Wenceslaus' hot foot tracks.

Today is the second day of Christmastime, a time of hope and love. May your footsteps also leave a warm path in the world.

Away in a Manger

Merry Christmas!  Love to you all! And to all a great dinner with family, loved ones, needy strangers, all the candy you can eat and while the beautiful Light shines on you.


And snow, if you like that.  And no snow, if you don't.

Three French Hens

Advent is almost over!  Can you believe it?  We're so excited. Our lights are up and ready to light!  We don't have a tree.  We usually do that about a week before Christmas, but...maybe today!  Here is the Wisconsin Advent calender to mark the remaining days.

Back to work!
Dear Sister Mary Martha, I have been recently diagnosed with OCD. Are there any saints you recommend? I know St. Dymphna is the patron saint of mental illness, but I thought it would be nice to know if there were a saint who personally went through that sort of pain. While putting a name to my psychological struggle has helped me some, I need all the help I can get. God bless.

One of our dear readers jumped on and did my job for me by suggesting St.Alphonsus Ligori. Perfection.  As she points out, St. Alphonsus was saddled with "scupulosity", a form of OCD.  He agonized over the smallest things, fueled no doubt by "Catholic guilt".

I'm not sure if our reader knew how very perfect St. Alphonsus is for you, although her fast answer causes me to suspect she does.  It seems that Alphonsus was able to work around his own struggle because his contribution to theology was his teaching that we should not be too rigid.

He opposed sterile legalism and strict rigorism. According to Alphonsus, those were paths closed to the Gospel because "such rigor has never been taught nor practiced by the Church". His system of moral theology is noted for its prudence, avoiding both laxism and excessive rigor.  This coming from a man who also was schooled in the arts. He was a musician and painted, wrote poetry and books.

With all of that going on, OCD and all, he became a Doctor of the Church.  There are only 33 of those, so he is one special person.  As are you, my dear!

Sister, is there a patron saint for nerve damage? My best friend suffers from dystonia and she is having a very bad flare up. I have neuropathy caused by autoimmune disease and am having a flare up too. Both of us are in our early 40s and when we feel well, crochet, knit, and sew for charity. We are praying a Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes because I always pray to her or to St. Bernadette for everything. Thank you! Laura (and Mary)

I think you are on the right track with Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette.

But I poked around a bit and came up with St. Gemma, as well.  She died in 1903, so we know a lot of details about her life, complete with actual photographs and the like.  Now, she didn't have the same afflictions as you and your friend, but she was horribly afflicted just the same.  At age 19 she became very sick, was in horrible pain, had to wear a painful back brace, all her hair fell out and she was on her death bed. She was 19 years old.

She was visited by (then) Blessed Gabriel Possenti, who is now St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows (because of his devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows) and he facilitated her over night cure.  He was canonized in 1920, so I think Gemma might have been one of his saint clinching miracles.

After her miraculous cure Gemma was blessed with a new affliction: the stigmata.

Let me just point out that the Church, upon hearing about a person with the stigmata, doesn't react by saying, "Oh boy!  Another stigmata person!  A holy miracle that will bring more people to God!"  The reaction is more along the lines of, "Oh dear. Not again.  If this person is faking it, (or crazy) it will drive more people away from God."  As a result, Gemma's stigmata caused her suffering in more ways than one.

In any case, her life is well documented and I invite you to read up. 

I should think if you turn to St. Gemma, St. Gabriel might be along for the ride.  A two-fer, as they say.

And then what?

Hello! I'm a recent follower of your blog, and I have a question for you. I'm feeling very dissatisfied with my present life, but there should be no reason for this. I'm recently married, young (24), have a good job and finished school. To make a long story short, I had a very traumatic childhood which caused me to lose my faith in God and everyone around me, but I am slowly finding my place again. Despite all this, I feel like there is something more that I'm not getting, and its bringing me much unhappiness. Is there a Saint that could help me out?

Merry Christmas!

Did you know that your brain isn't even fully formed until you're 23 years old? I figure it takes at least another two years to get all those new brain cells and synapses up to speed.  I always think of this when I hear about people who want to try children as adults.  There's a reason they can't vote or drive, isn't there?

I digress.

Glad to hear you're on your way up.  That should count for something.  I have a hunch that the thing you are not getting is outside yourself.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's very smart to put your own oxygen mask on first before you assist someone else, because if you flap all around trying to help someone else without any oxygen of your own, you will soon be unable to help anyone do anything but remember to use their legs when lifting your carcass off the plane.

But it sounds like you've made great strides in this direction.  It could be that you're not feeling fulfilled because you're not doing anything really fulfilling.  Oh sure, you're married and have your whole life ahead of you.  For some people, that is extremely fulfilling.  For some people, praying all day in a cell works.

Perhaps it is because of your traumatic childhood, for you, there is a piece missing.  And of course! we have a patron saint for that.

I've actually told his story many times here on the blog, as he is one of my favorite saints.  St. John of God was one of those people who drifted through life doing whatever made him a few dollars and got him through the day.  He was a soldier for a while.  He sold holy cards and pamphlets for a while, not because he was doing good, but because they were salable.  He eventually had a nervous breakdown.

Let's hope you can avoid this step in the process.

While he was in a mental health facility (which would have been absolutely nothing like a place called that in our time), God paid him a call.  God pointed out that John was just living for himself and floating around lost.  He asked John to live for Him, and gave John the name "John of God".

And after that, upon his release into the world, John became a tireless help to God.  He took over an abandoned building and made it into a hospital, all by himself.  He begged for bedding, beds and bed pans. He personally cared for the sick there.  And when the place caught on fire, he personally carried everyone out and then went back in to get the precious begged for mattresses.

Find your passion.  Don't worry that the job is too big, or you're not up to the task. Just make sure you have your oxygen mask firmly in place.

Christmas-y Christmas Carols

Wow!  What happened?  It's nearly Christmas!  The little kids are about ready to jump out of their skins.  A great time to put on some Christmas music!

Dear Sister: Could you please explain the origin of some more obscure carols. Good St. Wenseslaus, I Saw Three Ships, Holly and Ivy, Bring a Torch, Jeannette Isabella...they all seem religious but they are a far cry from the nativity scene and Silent Night. They are lovely though. Thanks.

 Not a far cry, really at all. Silent Night was a little ditty a priest dashed off one afternoon for his guitar mass in the evening.  It's not his fault, nor was it his plane, that it became the most beloved Christmas Carol of all time, sung by every one from Bing Crosby to Jon Bon Jovi, whoever that is.

"Good King Wenseslaus" (written by a Brit in 1853) isn't Christmas-y enough for you?  Really?  The feast of Stephen is during that time of year when we think of the poor Baby Jesus and we help the poor.  It actually takes place during Christmas Time, which doesn't start until Christmas day.  It is the second day of Christmas, Dec.26th.  (St. Stephen is the first martyr, who was stoned to death, and therefore the patron saint of headaches.)  Off the Good King goes, into the snowy night, knowing that there is a poor man out there who needs his help. A Christmas miracle occurs, heating his footsteps so that his hapless page doesn't get frostbite or die of hypothermia.  The page follows his King and trusts in him as we follow ours.

Not rocket science.  The story may not be true, but the Good King is real. He was St. Wenceslaus, the Duke of Bohemia.

"I Saw Three Ships" is perfectly Christmas-y.  It mentions Christmas day over and over and over.  It's a British song that was written in the 17th century and some people think that it is inspired by the three ships that brought the relics of the Three Kings to the Cologne Cathedral int the 12th century. (Which are most surely not there actual relics, since there is no indication how many of them there .  The number three originates for the number of actors it took to portray them in the early Passion plays.)  That being said, it actually makes no sense whatsoever.  The ships come sailing into Bethlehem, which is not possible, as Bethlehem is no where near the Dead Sea, the closest body of water.  Crazy.
And one would right away imagine that the three ships represent the three wise men, but no, Jesus and Mary are on the ships. No mention of Joseph.  Why do they need three ships for two people, and why didn't they bring Joseph?  Am I missing something here?

And it sounds like a drinking song. 

"The Holly and the Ivy" is all about Jesus and Mary and all the symbolism of what the holly and the ivy represent are explained, point blank, in the song.  It's all the song is about.  It's origins are very old, as it was a folk song about boys and girls that somehow, at some time, morphed itself into a Christmas song.  That's the best I can do.  But it is certainly not a far cry from the Nativity Scene, as it is all about Jesus and Mary as found symbolically in holly and ivy, which have been used as Christmas decorations for centuries.

And of all of these songs, "Bring a Torch" is only about the Nativity Scene.  We like to imagine what it would be like if we were there in Bethlehem when Jesus was born and this song imagines just that, only in French.  It's a very old carol, from 1553, but the music was originally dance music for nobility. Even today, little French children dress up as shepherds and angels and sing the song around the manger scene.  Sound familiar?

I'm just glad you didn't bring up that sad depressing song about the Holy Innocents. Once that thing gets stuck in my head, I can't get it out.