Rosary Saints

Hello! I have a question about the rosary. What is the point of making specific rosaries associated with a saint? Such as having a rosary with the charm of a saint on that middle connecting piece (I'm not sure what that is called). Are you supposed to be asking them to pray the rosary with you or is it just to be reminded of a saint you like or something along those lines?

I can't think of anything simpler, or more confusing, than the rosary. A lot of variety, a number of different prayers, five sets of five mysteries, which day of the week each mystery is invoked and during which liturgical season.

And then, throw in some saints in the middle of mediating on the Life of Christ as seen through the eyes of His Mother.  

Here's one easy answer: the charm of a saint on the middle connecting piece? is called "the medal".  

Whew! That was easy.

What's for dinner?

oh...

Okay, so having a specific saint has to do with the specific saint. For example, one might pray a rosary with St. Michael the Archangel on it for the protection of St. Michael the Archangel. Military families might want to to this, as St. Michael is the protector of soldiers.  And to do that you would simply pray the rosary with that intent, and maybe add a prayer for the intercession of St. Michael somewhere in there.  

Well, not somewhere, really...at the end. And you can look up prayers to say.

Or just make one up. That's okay, too. I don't think Heaven is so picky as we religious often lead everyone to believe.

It follows from there that your "saint rosary" would be said for the intercession of what is considered the patronage of that saint. St. Jude for hopeless causes,  St. Gertrude (also the patron saint of cats and cat lovers) for souls in Purgatory, for example. The list is endless.

And at the risk of confusing you more, more common than rosaries with saints on them (the Miraculous Medal Immaculate Conception Mary Self Portrait is the most common rosary medal), are chaplets for the intercession of saints.

The chaplet, like the rosary, is really a way to count prayers. There are dozens and dozens of different types, for different intentions, with varying numbers of beads and lot and lots of different prayers. The Hail Mary might not even be in there.

Here is the St. Benedict chaplet for your perusal.

And then, just to add one more weinie to the roast, there are Novenas, which also might involve saying a rosary every day for nine days, or nine first Fridays, or more timelines that involve doing something nine times AND are said for the intercession of a particular saint for the intention of a particular cause.

Is dinner ready yet?

Are the saints praying along with you? I'm sure they are.  If you imagine that asking me to pray for you is the same as asking a saint to pray for you (although I believe saints, since they are alive in Heaven, are better at being in harmony with God than I am), then you would imagine that you and I would in some sense be praying together, if not simultaneously.

A lot of people feel very connected to their patron saints, or the patronage of a saint for a specific intention. Praying the rosary is a meditative prayer. This involves (one of my new favorite phrases) mental lingering.  So it leaves a lot of room to connect with Heaven.

And finally, it may just be that you happen to have a rosary that has a saint on it instead of Mary because you found it in your Grandma's junk drawer. That's okay, too. We're just glad you found it and got it out of the junk drawer.

Our neighbor brought us some french apple cake.  Maybe I'll say a rosary and then have some.

A Random Act of Prayer

Hi sister! I love your blog and now I finally have a question for you! I feel compelled sometimes quickly pray for those I pass in my car on the street. Since these people are nameless and faceless to me is the fleeting prayer Even worth it? I love when an intense prayer moment happens and words just start flowing. Does the quick intercessory prayer carry the same weight as an intense prayer? And what about perseverence? I feel bad when my intercessory prayers feel so light And insignificant...they lack perseverance, often only one quick prayer offered even if the situation is rather grave. Am I doing something wrong? I find myself discouraged with intercessory prayer because they seem weak and feeble.

I don't see how intercessory prayer is weak and feeble. Surely, when people ask you to pray for them, you do and surely you have asked people to pray for you (or really, really wanted to). You do that because you know that people praying with you and for you is actually helpful.

This is my best guess as to what is happening here. When you quickly pray for someone on the street, you're not really invested, in the same way that when someone asks you in passing "how is your day", you're liable to say "just peachy" because you know it's just a polite moment and not an actual request to probe into how you're doing.

So you see some poor soul on the street and you think "God help them", which may in turn lead to a little more of a prayer, "No, really , God, help them" and at that point the light has changed and the guy in front of you is trying to change to your lane without having signaled his intentions and the guy behind you is right up on your bumper. In another second you'll be praying someone doesn't hit you. Or praying you don't jump out of your car and hit somebody.


I'm exaggerating. Although the ability of the human mind to go from intercessory prayer to road rage in under 30 seconds is astonishing.

I think your prayers feel light because they are light. But that doesn't make them insignificant. Think of them as shining a little light.

And I don't think you're doing anything wrong. But I do think you could get better at it.

Going back to my "have a nice day" analogy, those words don't have to be so light. If you're a bank teller saying to someone "how is your day?" , you probably really don't want a real answer from every customer. But...what if you did? Or you were at least willing to hear a real answer when you asked that question.

Just invest a little more care into your little prayer.

And keep it up! It's a random act of kindness. Never to be under rated.

Hidden Relic

I purchased a Beautiful Infant of Prague Statue at our local St. Vincent DePaul store.When I got home I discovered a small round piece of something stuffed up inside and then tissue stuffed inside to hold it in. It looks like a small round stone or bone item. Would you have any idea what people may have put inside there statues?


There: a place. They're: Contraction for "they are". Their: belonging to them. Copy this and put it on your refrigerator.

What did they put inside their statues? Is it white? If it's white, I imagine it is a bone, a relic of a saint.

If it's not a relic, then I have no idea what they put in there, in their statue, or why.

It's supposedly much harder to get your hands on a relic than it used to be. There was a time when you could write a letter requesting a relic and voila! But the Church would rather that individuals not have them these days. I don't really know why. Maybe they are worried about running low.

Flying in the face of this information is an individual I met who wrote for a relic and got one. Bingo! Just like that. I think he somehow slipped through the cracks. Because now, in order to request a first class relic, you have to have a letter from the Bishop stating that the relic is not for private veneration. First class relics are only for public veneration.

There are three types of relics:
1. First class is an actual piece of the saint. A bone fragment, a hair...The St. Joseph Oratory in Montreal has St. Andre's heart in a jar. That would be a first class relic.

2. Second class relics are items that touched the saint while the saint was alive. A hair brush, an item of clothing, etc.

3. A third class relic is an item that touched a first or second class relic.  You can make your own third class relic pretty easily. The saint's tomb would count and you can use anything...your hanky or your rosary.  Don't use your socks. Be respectful.

So it seems to me that what you have there is a first class relic, a bone fragment, but we don't know to which saint it belonged.

You can't buy relics, by the way. But....you can buy them if it's the only way to save them from desecration. For example, if I was holding a relic over a furnace and telling you I would drop it in unless you gave me $10, you could do that and it wouldn't be a sin.

Consider yourself blessed. Don't consider yourself lucky. We, as Catholics, do not believe in luck.

If You Don't See It, Ask

Comments often turn up on older posts as people dip into the archives. Hooray for archives!  I think I am becoming one big archive. Just yesterday I was trying to explain to a child that the telephone used to be attached to the wall.  I'm not sure he knew what I meant by  "TELEphone".  

I digress.

This comment turned up on a post about patron saints.

I'm not catholic but all this has me thinking, cause I'm facing some big problems and not sure how to tackle what I'm up against.

This is a great opportunity to plug the shop. We make a great Christmas gift!  A personally picked patron saint. 

St. George Patron Saint of Dragon Slayers

You can go to the shop and browse. If you don't see the saint you want, or you don't know the saint you want, send us a note and we'll match you up with the perfect saint or saints.  We can put your hand painted medal on a necklace, a bracelet or a keychain. 

Some saints are not available on those little medals, though. But not to fear! We can put any saint at all on a glass pendant.

Maybe you have a whole laundry list of things for which you need prayers from Heaven.  We can make you a charm bracelet style item with as any saints as you like.

Just drop us a note either here or at the shop. You'll see on the right side of the page a blue box that says "request custom order". Click there. That opens a little conversation dialogue and we can chat about which saints are a good match for you.

Each item comes neatly packaged with our own "holy card" story of your saint, written by yours truly.

We're stocking up on supplies for what we hope will be our Christmas rush!  After Thanksgiving we'll put our Santa hats on.

And for the separated brethren who need the explanation of patron saints one more time, here goes: Yes, we ask saints to pray for us. We do not pray TO saints. We ask them to pray for us just like you might ask me to pray for you or I might ask you to pray for me. We feel a special bond with our patron saints because they are chosen because they have some affinity with our troubles and cares. So get on the bandwagon!

To help you with that we also have booklets.

A Latte for the Soul

Sister - I have to confess that I've seen that fellow with the Starbucks cup! He lives in Los Angeles (maybe West Hollywood?) and his name is Kevin. I don't know why he dresses "like Jesus" (as if we know what Jesus dressed like) but he seems to be a friendly person, and I took seeing him as a "sign" that my formerly agnostic self was trepidatiously going to catechumen classes. You see, I got on the bus one Saturday after a thoroughly thought-provoking and unsettling class where we discussed that big "If God loves us, why is there suffering?" question, and I was full of all kinds of thoughts and feelings and I looked up and there was someone who looked like Jesus, getting up and offering someone else his seat on the crowded bus. He had two Starbucks cups in his hands at the time. He got off the bus at (you won't believe it, but I swear this is true) at Temple Israel. It was one of the funniest and surprisingly inspirational experiences I've had. There were many reasons I came back and I really can't count one more goofy Hollywood weirdo as a major influence, but it was like a silly reminder that I was moving in the right direction. And maybe even a sign that God does have a pretty good sense of humor.

Which begs the question "what would Jesus actually look like if he were strolling around now?"  Of course, He told us how to find Him. Look no further than whoever you see.

We really aren't going to find Jesus knocking on our doors, wearing a toga with long hair and a beard. He's not going to be what I call "mosquito bite Jesus" (because He's so pale and white that biting insects cannot resist Him).

If He was alive now, we'd probably miss Him in the jangle of sound, the endless tweets and postings. He'd be just another Deepak Chopra kinda guy. Would He appear with Oprah?

We'll never know. He did the only thing that was available to Him at the time. Walk around and talk to people. He would have many more options now. Would he start an indiegogo campaign to crowd fund a mega church?

Ironically, He is using the internet. Because ....here we are.

But I really do think that if Jesus were just starting out right now He would be considered "one more goofy weirdo", no matter how he dressed, because His message, what He asks of us, is so completely radical, in some cases counter intuitive, that few people actually would take us His cause.

And if we look at the world around us, we can ascertain that few people really have. It's why so many followers, like Mother Teresa, have a "dark night of the soul". It doesn't last for just one night.

You're right. We need to see Jesus breezing along with a cup of Starbucks coffee in each hand once in a while. We need to be reminded that what He asks of us makes our lives better, and makes the world better.

Starbucks Jesus

I figured out that if you leave your question in the comments that might do it. My question is about Adoration. I go, but I'm not sure what to do and the whole idea of it confuses me. Am I supposed to pray or be silent in His presence...or alternate both? What do I pray for? I go in there with a list but I don't feel like it's quite appropriate to do this...but I don't know what else to do . I pray a lot for guidance on what to do while I am in there and a closer relationship with Him. I also take a few books with prayers in there, too...but I always think I am "doing it wrong". For once, I would like to do something "right". Would you spell it out for me and help out? Thank you Sister. Oh, and one more question... When I go to Adoration (it's in a small chapel), I always go to my seat first and then kneel down facing the monstrance for my opening prayers. Some people walk in and kneel down right in the aisle and "block traffic" so to speak. I want to do what's proper. 

Yes, leave your questions in the comments section.

Now that we have that out of the way....

This Adoration thing is not a confusing idea.  But I do understand your confusion. I mean, really, if you said to me, "Come on over and adore me", I wouldn't know what to do either. 

Adding to the feeling that you are doing it wrong are other factors:

1. Everyone else seems to know exactly what they're doing. Especially, those people who are clogging up the aisles in an adoration logjam.

2. The decor and atmosphere are sure signs that "you are not in Kansas anymore". It can give you that feeling you have when you discover no one told you the brunch was black tie only. The monstrance is a really big ornate gold thing.  You have a run in your hose. That sort of feeling. Jesus is there wearing black tie and you are there in your pajamas. Like that. 

So, yeah. I understand.

You just need to adjust your perception a little. Then you'll be fine.

So imagine this. You're sitting in your house stewing in your own juice about whatever is eating you today. You're doing whatever it is you do there, putting some coffee on, sweeping the front walk, wondering if you should do the dishes now or wait until the lunch dishes are in there, too. You get an excited call from a neighbor. Jesus Christ in the flesh is over at the Starbucks with a few of His disciples.

It's a block away from you!

So, of course, you throw on whatever isn't pajamas and get down there.  Now what?

Are you worried you're not dressed right?  I doubt it.  Are you afraid to speak to Him? You just might be.

But it would be enough just to be there, wouldn't it? And if He caught your eye and smiled, or put His hand on your shoulder, that would make all that stuff you've been stewing about just evaporate, wouldn't it. Probably just being there would.

That's Adoration. Go down to that Starbucks where Jesus stopped in. And just be there. There's no wrong way to do that. You can ask questions. You can pray any prayers you want to pray. You can let Him know what's bothering you. Or not. He knows already anyhow.

You can politely step by the logjam, or you can join them. Would you worry about where the disciples were sitting or standing or kneeling at the Starbucks? Of course not. You'd just squeeze in there anyway you could. 

You might look down and find you're still wearing your slippers.  That's okay, too.

The only thing you could possibly do wrong is to be disrespectful. Somehow I don't think that's an issue, either. Jesus didn't turn away the disrespectful. The Pharisees were always at the edges of the crowds who gathered around Jesus, making snarky remarks and trying to dream up questions that would stump Him. He never told them to take a hike. And they were probably dressed nicely.

So relax. Jesus is adorable. 

Snapping...Out of It

Dear Sister Mary Martha, I'm really tired of being nice all the time, and I'm ready to snap and say something mean.

Snap out of it.

What gives you the right to be mean to anybody?

 Is everyone else stupid? Is that it? 

I have news for you. They're doing the best they can. Yes, they are lame. Maybe they do need to try harder. However, if you snap and say something mean, they won't for one second think to themselves, "Wow, I'm so stupid." What they will think is, "what a mean person."  What's the point of that?

The world is a difficult, often terrible, place. You have a choice to add to the terribleness of the world and make it an incrementally more terrible place or to try to make it a less terrible place. You can add ugliness or you can add beauty.  You certainly won't help one blessed thing get better by being mean.

What you will do, besides degrading the state of the world, is make yourself into a bitter, crabby person with some sort of sense of entitlement that things should go better for you. 

That person that you want to be mean to is a whole human being, too. You've lost sight of that.  

On top of that, if you had simply snapped and said something mean, it might not be a sin, because you may not have had any actually intention of being mean or hurting anyone. There was no intent, just a momentary lapse, for which you could have apologized. The end.

But now, you're giving yourself permission to give into your anger. And that is a sin. Anger is not a sin. Living in anger is.

Perhaps you need a break. Put your feet up with some tea and take some deep breaths to quell your anger.

Whatever you do, the idea that you are simply too weary to be nice is  an idea to be dumped in the trash heap of useless plans. Get some sleep. And some gratitude. And some compassion.

Oxygen for Mom

Yesterday's post scared somebody:

Hi Sister, this post has got me worried. My son was baptised, but although I regularly attend mass, (his father doesn't as he is not Catholic and not interested), I don't take my son very often. He is autistic and has limited understanding and no verbal communication as such. He won't sit still for long and shouts out when he feels the urge and tries to run off. Should I still be taking him and explaining things anyway, in the hope that he may understand something. The priest is a little impatient with anyone out of the ordinary, which has put me off a bit.

You have nothing to worry about. You're doing the best that you can. And hooray for you to get yourself to Mass! 

It's just like when you are on an airplane and the stewardess tells you that, should that oxygen thingy drop down, you should put your own on before helping any one else, including your own child. Why would she say that? Because if you pass out you won't be able to help your own child.

And this is EXACTLY like that. You are keeping your oxygen mask on. Taking your son once in a while is as much as you can do.

The people in yesterday's post not only did not put on their oxygen masks, they refuse to believe there is any problem with the plane. You can't see oxygen (and those bags don't inflate). Keep watching your movie. 

They were planning on lying to the priest so they could get what they wanted, a ceremony in which they have no belief, to please an old lady and to quell the fear brought on by a dream. What a sad mess.

I think for you, though, it might help you a lot to go have a chat with the priest.  Many people just have no clue when it comes to autism or the autism spectrum. So many people believe that if you just disciplined your child he would behave himself. That if he won't eat something because of the texture or color, you should just not feed him anything else and "he'll eat if he gets hungry enough".  Not an autistic child. No he won't.

Think about what you need the priest to know. Can you explain your son's behaviors in a few sentences? Don't put him on the defensive. Tell him your concerns about wishing to bring your son to church but fearing that he will become too disruptive. Don't mention the impatience on the priest's part. Let him comfort you. I believe he will do that.

I can understand that you feel put off. You certainly have enough on your plate. But let's give the priest the benefit of the doubt about his level of understanding.  If I were a gambling woman I'd lay a large bet that the priest doesn't understand autism or doesn't realize your son is autistic.

By the way, we've chosen St. Joseph Cupertino as the patron saint for autism.

A Boot to the Head

Hey Sister, I've got a bit of a pickle. My friends are going to be baptizing their daughter next month. The priest has asked them to come to three services before the date, they are not church goers and unless God comes into their hearts, I don't think they ever will. They know I'm a practicing Catholic, and have quite openly told me that they were planning on lying to the priest about their presence (its a well-attended downtown church, it most likely wont be noticed) and not attending at all. I've offered to accompany them, and to even drive them to and from the church but they are adamant and are really not respectful of the church, the faith, or the priest. The only reason why they are baptising their daughter is because her grandmother demanded it, and because the mother had a dream about red devils capturing her daughter's soul in a ball of flames, so took it as a sign that it needed to get done. My question is, what can I do to help them out, encourage them into actually attending those three services, and knowing what they plan to do, am I supposed to say something to the priest?

For the life of me I can't imagine the logic here. "I don't believe in any of this, but I had a dream that red goblins would eat my child if I don't do it and..."

Stop right there. If they don't believe in the faith and in God, then why would they believe in red devils? They don't seem to believe that any of this type of thing exists. Hedging their bets? Not good enough.

So you're dilemma, dear reader, is "how much of a buttinski should I be here?"  A pretty big one, I'd say, because they need a boot to the head. Let's walk them through this:

1. We baptize babies to erase Original Sin from their souls and to welcome them into the Church. Babies can't make this choice for themselves, so we make it for them and we are responsible for their souls always, but importantly, until they reach the age of reason and can choose for themselves.

2. YOU parents have just made that choice for your baby. A choice that involves protection from sin, and in making it have chosen to begin the spiritual life of your child with a lie. Which is a sin.

By the way, how are these people getting away with having their child baptized without having a sponsor class? I thought everyone had to do that to get their child baptized. 

3. We do believe in dreams in the Catholic Church. Just ask Joseph. Red devils captured your daughter's soul in your dream. That's because THAT WILL HAPPEN if you carry out your half baked plan. It's not enough to have her baptized.Baptism actually has MEANING. You think your dream has meaning? But baptism does not? Then what did the dream mean? Do this meaningless thing? Where are your brains, you parents? You make absolutely no sense.

I'm using capital letters for emphasis, because I'm not there to give these people a boot to the head.

This isn't a game, or voodoo or a rabbit's foot of "good luck" (we don't believe in luck) or an excuse for a christening party. This is a Sacrament. A holy vow.  Wait, let me restate that.  A HOLY VOW. A holy vow YOU take on your child's behalf.

Part Two of your dilemma is whether or not to squeal to the priest.  I'm on the fence on this one. I know the priest will want to baptize the child no matter what.  But I also think he has the right to know what's really going on here.

Perhaps if you present it to him the way you presented it to me, not as their problem, but as yours.
' What should I do, Father? My friends have told me they are having their child baptized as a cosmetic grandmother appeasement plan."  And he'll say, "I'll handle it." 

Then you and I both will have to work on getting over our sense of anger and judgment.  Someone will have to give me a boot to the head. 

San Quentin

We have some more serious question with which to deal, but since today is a feast day and everyone has a Snickers hangover, I thought we could do something a little different.

At school on yesterday, the sixth grade teacher, Miss Vollmer, had the bright idea to celebrate the upcoming feast day of All Saints Day, to make an alphabetical list of saints. She put the whole alphabet up on the board and the children were invited to find saints that correspond to the letters. Some of that is really easy. St. Ann, St. Patrick, St. Peter and Paul, James and Mark.  And some caused a little more digging. St. Gerard is not a saint children are particularly familiar with, nor is St. Genesius or St. Expeditus.  And where does Maria Goretti go? With the M's or with the G's. Same problem for Mother Frances Cabrini. Is she an F or a C?

After that it came down to Google.

I whizzed in to inspect the list. There were a lot of questions about the various saints and of course, I don't need Google to tell you that St. Genesius is the patron saint of lawyers and actors. (Which is kind of funny if you think about it, because he had absolutely nothing to do with the law or lawyers and everything to do with actors. That indicates to me that somebody thinks that lawyers are really actors. We could easily make a case for that. Pardon the pun.)

And then I saw St. Quentin. San Quentin.  It really never occurred to me that the prison is named after a saint. San Quentin is synonymous prison the way Kleenex means a disposable hanky, the way Xerox means to copy something. And just who is St. Quentin anyhow and why is a prison named after him?

Who knows.  We really know almost nothing about the dear boy. What we do know about him is the stuff of legend, which is this: he was the son of a senator in the 3rd century and when he got the spirit, he was shackled and tortured. This went on for some time but he miraculously escaped.

I don't know what that means. I have to assume that it means it was actually miraculous, as in angels set him loose, as opposed to "Wow, he got loose while the guard was drunk! It's a miracle!"

In any case, he was captured again and shackled again and tortured again, but this time he was beheaded. Unlike St. Denis, St. Quentin did not take his head and stroll to a better part of town with it. His remains were tossed into the marshes, head and all.

There he stayed for five years until a blind woman found him. She didn't dig around in the marshes. She prayed and St. Quentin's remains rose up out of the marsh. Intact. I'm not sure if that just means he was incorrupt and his body and his head rose up, or he was in one piece again. I'm assuming that either way he was incorrupt. He had 'the odor of sanctity'. I suppose that's how she knew he had floated up out of the marsh, because she couldn't see him. Maybe he said, "Hi."  The blind woman took whatever that was in a cart and when the cart broke down she buried the saint right there on the spot. A chapel was built.

He was dug up one last time, this time to distribute his relics.

The prison, however is not named after the saint. It is named for where it stands, Point Quentin. Point Quentin is named for a Miwok warrior named Quentin who was imprisoned in that spot.

I have a hard time believing that. Why was a Miwok warrior named Quentin? It seems to me someone named HIM after the saint, which would mean the prison was named for him who was named for the saint.

He seems a very appropriate patron saint for a prison, don't you think?

The Pope Says Chillax

How much are we enjoying our new Pope! He's making news every week with common sense and compassion. Telling everyone to calm down and listen to Jesus. It's about time we all did that. Which is why this response to my response to a question made me think of the Pope.

Dear Sister, 
What a thrill to log on and see your response to my request. Thank you! You have certainly given my daughter some great Saints to consider - and your readers did too. 
Funny, when I was confirmed I chose the name James as it was my grandfather's name. However, during the ceremony, the Bishop just couldn't get his head around the idea that a girl would choose a male name. I remember the back and forth I had with him, in front of the whole congregation. He asked me what name I had chosen and I answered "James".
"Aah, Jane" he answered. 
"No, James"
"Yes, Jane it shall be"
I was confirmed Jane - but I still consider James to be my patron Saint.

It really seems like in this day and age, no one would much care about if a girl took a boy's name. And for Heaven's sake let's not forget St. JoseMaria Escriva (the patron saint of diabetics). He has "Maria" right in there. If your Bishop had his way, the founder of Opus Dei  would have been St. JoseMark Escriva.

Which is why I thought of the Pope. Wouldn't our Pope say, "Great! Whatever name you'd like to have. Whatever saint you'd like to call on for help and guidance and whatever saint you'd like to put right into your own name in order to bond with that saint. Let's not worry about, of all things, gender."?

I would step in if someone picked a fake saint, which I sure has happened.  And I might mention to a Confirmation kid that maybe St. Expeditus and St. Philomena didn't exist. But....we can imagine that some little girl was buried in the catacombs and we can go ahead and call her Philomena, just like we call Mary's mother "Anne" although in truth we have no idea what her parents were called. Joachim and Anne?  Sure. That's much more personable than just "Mary's parents".

You know, there are things I used to care about that I just don't care about anymore. We used to have conniption fits about penmanship, back in the day. How many of you were tortured by "The Palmer Method"? I certainly was. And then I had to torture other children with it and poke at left handed kids.

Good riddance to all of that. I still say, "Work on the handwriting kid! Someday someone's life my depend on it!" And I still think it's important to use good grammar and turn in work that is neat, because how you present yourself to the world will affect your quality of life.

But hey, you might be Vincent Van Gogh and I'm not going to tell you which brush to use.

I wonder if you can change your Confirmation name? I've never heard of anyone trying. I imagine there are people who don't even remember what their Confirmation name is.

Who cares? As long as they show up for Mass.

A Box of Saints

Of course, our favorite thing to do is to patron saint match. What better way to tackle the week then the perfect confirmation name!

Hi Sister, I'm writing on behalf of my 13 year old daughter who will be receiving the sacrament of Confirmation next fall. At this point in her preparation she is tasked with choosing a patron saint. We've discussed it a bit and have (half) jokingly decided that she would like a somewhat obscure saint - someone who isn't so popular that he or she might be "overworked" with prayer requests and miracles ;) However, she will have to write a report on her chosen saint in the upcoming months, and we've noticed that we really don't know very much about some saints. Can you make some recommendations? My daughter will be starting high school next year at an all-girls catholic school. She enjoys watersports, shooting sporting clays, singing and acting. Her favorite subjects in school are science and social studies - and she loves bugs!

It will be easy to find the perfect patron saint pile from which she can choose a name. The issue is going to be writing a report about that saint. Obscure saints are obscure for a reason: no one knows diddly beans about them. Some saints have only a rough guess at the years they did their saintly deeds upon the earth. Some have a shakey story about miraculous works. Some are just, well, legends. 

So grab a cup a tea and have a gander at some of these wonderful people, obscure saints all, I believe.
Bug lovers.
Singing and acting.
Science
And for social studies, this deliciously obscure yet important fellow. He isn't a full on saint yet. He's a BLESSED (pronounced Bless-said), which means he needs one more miracle to be canonized.

Meanwhile, for her sports and shooting, we have St. Sebastian, who is not at all obscure. He, along with St. Bartholomew, who was skinned, have the grade school boys favorite holy cards. St. Sebastian is the patron saint of archers (which is the closest we can come to skeet shooting), athletes and anything that comes to a point, like pins.

You'll have to pick one. I suppose there is no law that says you can't have more than one, but...who does that? Especially with so many already hyphenated names out there.  Still, she has two things to consider. One, does this saints resonate with me. Two, can't I get a whole essay out of this guy.

Why Pray

Here's the problem I've had with prayer lately: If God loves me and is going to do what's best for me, regardless--which I don't doubt--then who am I to try to direct God's actions or tell Him what to do? Why pray, "Please don't let my mother die of cancer" (or whatever) because God's going to do what's God's going to do in something like that, whether I ask Him or not. And even praying something like, "Help my mother in her journey through this illness"...well, God's going to do that without my asking, if only my mother will see the help is available and take God up on it. Meditation, prayers of praise...that's different. But what we so often call prayer, where we're asking something of God, even very good things, seem almost disrespectful, like we're questioning His divine will and plan.

Yeah, that's a problem a lot of people have with prayer.  And to them I would say, "Oh, it's all about you, is it? He's going to do what ever is good for you, so let Him get on with it without talking to Him about anything.  Amen."

What about God? We just leave Him alone, like that lucky ole sun, to roll around Heaven all day? We don't have to talk with Him to open ourselves to His blessings and graces and the beautiful world and life around us, because, hey, He's got everything covered?

God is not a vending machine for our requests for help. If the world of God worked that way, why would we have to do anything? Why didn't He just make us so we don't have to eat. that way, we wouldn't have to plow fields or worry about eating too many Doritos? 

God made a world in which we must participate, and one of the ways we participate is by communicating with God and the way we do that is prayer.

We can turn this question upside down, too. If God is all powerful and can do anything, why pray? I ask you, if God was NOT all powerful, why pray? If He wasn't all wise, it would be dangerous to pray.But since God is all wise and powerful, we can relax and talk with Him.

That's how we participate in God's plan, which is His plan. We don't pray to inform God. We pray to invite God.

Fred is doing very well, thank you all very much and thank God. On the mend. How did that happen? The power we have through God. Great stuff.

Turn On

Every so often we get one of those questions that is, as the kids say, "Off the chain".    This has to be one of my all time favorites. What causes a question to be beloved? How much fun it is to answer.

Why is prayer so important?

A gem.

Note that the reader did not ask  if prayers "work" or  "how prayers work".  The reader used the word "important".  So important!

Important: marked by significant worth.  Valuable in content or relationship.

Prayers are marked by significant worth and they are valuable in content and relationship.  And the question is, why?

So imagine this, dear reader. Imagine that you're watching television. While you're doing that you're connected to the material you are watching.

When you turn the TV off,  all of that goes away, as though it does not exist.

But it does. All of those signals and pixels are flying around ceaselessly, whether you choose to join in or not.  Connect or not. The TV signals go on and on and on.

So you can connect to God or not. He is always there, ceaselessly. Prayer connects you to God. That's why it's important.

It's not rocket science.

Angels Among Us

Today is the celebration of our Guardian Angels and the perfect day to beg a favor.

First, the Guardian Angels. Yes, you have one, and not just while you're a tiny child trying to stick you fingers in the light sockets and drink bleach from under the sink. Your Guardian Angel is with you your whole life through and is there by your side as you pass on to where the woodbine twineth. (A phrase my mother likes to use. She hasn't gone there yet.)

So have some angel food cake!

And now is your chance to be an angel.

Don't get crazy, you can't really be an angel. Angels are not people, or former people. Angels are a type of being that God created. You can't turn into an angel anymore than you could turn into a dog or a dog could turn into a person. You don't go to Heaven and turn into a dog and you don't go to Heaven and turn into an angel.

This idea that so and so died "because God wanted another angel" is just a way to sell posters and greeting cards and sugary figurines. Don't fall for it.

I'm speaking metaphorically, as in "Be an angel and see if the mail came yet."  Only I'm asking you to do something a little more involved.

We've had great success praying together and today I'm going to ask you to set your clock and pray with me and everyone else who visits our cyber convent.  I have a friend who is facing down some pretty nasty cancer treatments and a scary prognosis. So I'm asking you to pray for his recovery because the world still needs him. Please feel free to add in people for which our prayers could help that are facing their own miserable diagnoses and treatments and suffering.

We settled some of the hash in the  Mid East, didn't we? Sure we did.

So let's get together with our prayers tomorrow at 5pm central time (6pm east coast, 3pm west coast) and bow our heads and ask for God's grace and healing power for Fred (and eveyone's Freds).

Meanwhile we'll thank Fred's actual angel and our own.

No Harm, No Foul

I think we're settling into the school year nicely.  We're navigating the glacial changes in our routine wrought by Sister Mary Fiacre, who is now completely bed ridden. It makes some things easier and some things harder. I do miss hauling her around with us. She still seems to enjoy television. Of course, having a bed ridden person is more work in other ways. She can no longer feed herself. But her appetite in unabated. This tickles me no end. And it thrills Sister St. Aloysuis, who does all the cooking. It's the little things, like enjoying a meal, that make all the difference.

So, I have time to cull through the comments and see if there are questions I missed. Here's one:

Sister Mary Martha, if you know that someone is deliberately sinning against you, or you're family, and yet, it's almost like there's no harm meant, what would you say God would want you to do?

A person can't sin against you if they don't mean any harm. They may be bone-headed or tin eared and doing stupid things that are harmful to you. But if they don't mean it to harm you, they aren't sinning. 

Sin is all about intent.

It sounds like someone is hurting your feelings? And are they just pan headed about it? But you're not sure if they realize they're hurting your feelings or not? 

There are soooo many ways they could sin against you: slander you, steal your money, shove pornography at you, post your 'girls gone wild' pictures that were taken of you at Mardi Gras when you had too much to drink on Facebook (which would be slander, again), tell lies about you, undermine your loving relationships, or just say things to make you feel lousy.

But if they don't think they're saying it to make you feel lousy, as in "that dress is way too short", they may just be doing things they think will help in their own gummed up way.

So without further information, we can't help. They're not sinning if they don't know they're sinning. That's the first rule of "is it a sin?".  You have to know it's a sin and do it anyhow. And frankly, if you think it's a sin and do it anyhow, guess what?  That's a sin, because you thought you were sinning, and you did it anyhow.

What would God want you to do? Surely, you already know the answer to that. Forgive them. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."  Have you been missing Mass or something? Not saying any rosaries? Because this sentence should have been coming up with a fair amount of frequency.

It sounds to me that what you're actually asking is "How do I make these people stop doing what they're doing, whether it's a sin or no?."  But we don't know what they're doing.

There is this, though:  Have you tried talking with them? Writing them a note?

Talking is always better, even though it takes a fair amount of bravery sometimes. But writing the note might help you put your thoughts in order, take out accusations of their possible motivations and anger so that you can not fly off the handle when you try to speak with them.

Whatever you do, in heaven's name, don't text them. Even innocuous comments come off badly with so few words, and no inflection or facial expression.

The Holy Spirit Drinking Game

Dear SMM,  this is a biggy,would you be able to explain the Holy Spirit? 

That is a biggy.  No I can't explain the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is what we call a "Sacred Mystery". "Sacred Mystery" is "Catholic" for "just let it go."  Meaning, it is something we cannot and are not meant to understand.

Which is ironic because, in a way, the Holy Spirit is all about understanding. Remember the Pentecost? The disciples were a bunch of scrawny, giggling nincompoops until the Holy Spirit dropped in on them. They emerged, brave and speaking a lot of new languages and filled with understanding about what they had to do next.

But don't ask how. They were filled with the Spirit. Capital "S".  But don't ask how.

So, no I can't explain the Holy Spirit. I can, however, explain about the Holy Spirit. But, and this is a big "but", just about everything I can explain is impossible to understand.

Let's start with "who" the Holy Spirit is. The Holy Spirit is the third Person in the Holy Trinity. Three Persons in One God. Three separate Persons: God the Father, Jesus (God the Son) and (God) the Holy Spirit, but one Being, entirely not separate and entirely separate.  Do you understand that? Don't start drinking.  Me, neither.  Don't sweat it. It's a Sacred Mystery.

The Holy Spirit comes bearing gifts. What do you think we call those?  This is an easy one, although considering we really can't understand the Holy Spirit in the first place, it's hard to see how the Holy Spirit comes with gifts. They are called "the Gifts of the Holy Spirit".  There are seven of them.

Why seven? Seven is a "complete" number. Like when you eat prunes...are three enough, are six too many? Remember that ad? Probably not, it was long ago.  But seven is just enough. Not too many, not able to be evenly divided.

Three is a number like that also, which is why there is a Holy Trinity and not a Holy Duo.

In any case, just to confuse you even further, although there are Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit, there are actually more gifts of the Holy Spirit that are in a whole separate category. Those cannot be counted.

Maybe you do need a drink by now. Please make sure it is a reasonable hour to have a cocktail.

Okay, so, Seven (Sanctifying) Gifts of the Holy Spirit and countless Charismatic Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

I need a nap.

Seven sanctifying gifts: wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, fortitude, piety and fear of the Lord.

Don't a lot of people already have some of these attributes? Of course, they do. The gifts aren't actually wisdom, understanding, knowledge, etc.

Jack Daniels or Stoli?

The gifts are the perfection of these attributes, which causes perfection of  virtues. What does that mean?

Olives or onion? A twist?

Wisdom perfects charity. Knowledge perfects hope. Counsel perfects prudence. Understanding perfects intuition. Piety perfects justice. Fortitude perfects...fortitude. Fear of the Lord perfects the appetites.

Like not drinking to much trying to understand the Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

The rest of the gifts, the charismatic gifts help us to fulfill our calling in life. They are freely given graces that make us better parents and teachers and nurses and busboys. It's entirely up to the Holy Spirit when and  to whom the gifts are given, but our understanding is that the Holy Spirit is very, very generous in this category.

But, it's very hard to say if you've gotten this type of gift. So don't ask me.

Barkeep! Another round for everybody!