tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post5426984074292803395..comments2024-03-05T14:07:28.062-08:00Comments on Ask Sister Mary Martha: Gossip GirlSister Mary Marthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00580244097177195453noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-62934615649303339662009-03-09T15:53:00.000-07:002009-03-09T15:53:00.000-07:00What wonderful cake! Thank you!And a great opport...What wonderful cake! Thank you!<BR/><BR/>And a great opportunity for Lenten suffering to have none!<BR/><BR/>I tried to leave a message on your blog, but it didn't work.Sister Mary Marthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580244097177195453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-8709066629961703022009-03-07T08:15:00.000-08:002009-03-07T08:15:00.000-08:00Sister, I have a question for you and don't see an...Sister, I have a question for you and don't see an email link, so I hope it's ok to put it here. My husband and I have been debating how to best keep holy the Lord's Day. Tomorrow is Sunday, for example, and I would like to go putter in the yard and work on my flower beds and vegetable garden. I enjoy yard work, it's something I struggle to find time to work on during the week, and I don't think it's a lovely way to spend a Sunday. My husband, who does not like yardwork at all, thinks it would be a sin to do yard work on Sunday. I have told him if it is truly "work" to him, then maybe it is sinful for him to do yardwork. But maybe I'm rationalizing what I want to do tomorrow. :) If working in the garden is a bad way to spend Sunday, I will find something else to do, but honestly, I feel like it's a better way to spend the day than the way my husband will spend it, in front of the tv or computer. <BR/><BR/>We do, of course, go to mass and religion classes on Sunday mornings as well. <BR/><BR/>What is your opinion Sister?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-1729090720707637402009-03-07T06:34:00.000-08:002009-03-07T06:34:00.000-08:00I lived in a convent for a time and the sisters wo...I lived in a convent for a time and the sisters would always link gossip with "grumbling". Their rule of thumb was, if you're not discussing a problem with the point of view of doing something constructive (and charitable) about said problem, then you're grumbling and knock it off. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes I've found that I do need to discuss my concern for a friend with another friend, if we're worried that they're getting involved in something bad for them. I try to make sure we keep it to, "Are we seeing the problem correctly, would it be appropriate to talk to her about it, and if so, how?" and not get off onto complaining or backbiting. But even there, it can be tough to keep it in line.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02701347212098696585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-31653092793063253332009-03-07T04:39:00.000-08:002009-03-07T04:39:00.000-08:00You can't avoid gossipers, but I find that they le...You can't avoid gossipers, but I find that they leave you alone if you don't join in. If they don't get the hint, saying something like "I think [person you've been gossiping about] is a very nice person" helps.robkroesehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14731849693307953813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-23254684536320784002009-03-06T13:43:00.000-08:002009-03-06T13:43:00.000-08:00Anonymous,I was under the impression that Mass is ...Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>I was under the impression that Mass is never celebrated on Good Friday. SMM?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-68973564437477734902009-03-06T09:47:00.000-08:002009-03-06T09:47:00.000-08:00This reminds me of how my best friends and I used ...This reminds me of how my best friends and I used to carry on in grade school. There were three of us, which is never good. Whenever two of us got together, we talked endlessly about the third. And inevitably, one would say, "Well, yesterday she said you looked weird in that shirt," whereupon the other would say, "GASP! She TALKED about me BEHIND MY BACK?"<BR/><BR/>I like the rule of thumb. I have a hard time drawing the line at work, though. There's a point at which, "Communicate to the boss that Miss ABC's (lack of) technique in this area has resulted in my lateness," really quickly turns into, "...and express frustration over it and talk about how this is the fifth time and shouldn't she know better by now?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-12395852761932993262009-03-06T07:25:00.000-08:002009-03-06T07:25:00.000-08:00Thanks for this great reminder. I think some peop...Thanks for this great reminder. I think some people are blantant gossipers, but most of us fall into that category you mentioned where we cross the line from concern to gossip.Tamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13545454885908647405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-71764498741871122372009-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:002009-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:00Sister,I made you a cake. Come see!Love you lots,...Sister,<BR/><BR/>I made you a cake. Come see!<BR/><BR/>Love you lots,<BR/>ShannonShannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03825122530791714292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-39248288355291121572009-03-06T05:52:00.000-08:002009-03-06T05:52:00.000-08:00Dear Sister,I am hoping you could help give me som...Dear Sister,<BR/>I am hoping you could help give me some insight on my situation. I was married in the church and I did the absolute wrong thing and got a divorce and remarried without waiting for my annullment. <BR/>It finally weighted on my conscience to where I couldn't take it anymore. I want to make things right, but I'm not sure if that's possible for now. My husband and I are currently seperated, and it's been very difficult on us and the children as we love each other very much. <BR/>He is trying to become Catholic, and the priest has told him that he can't be confirmed because we intend to get back together one day. <BR/>Am I still in a state of sin now that I'm not living with him? Does the fact that I long to be with him make me just as bad? <BR/>Is all the pain my family undergoing worth anything to God?<BR/><BR/>Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-17858553921138358842009-03-06T05:08:00.000-08:002009-03-06T05:08:00.000-08:00Thank you for some interesting insights.Thank you for some interesting insights.Junosmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13855881312654998692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-48363703533761560302009-03-05T20:21:00.000-08:002009-03-05T20:21:00.000-08:00Dear Sister,OP here. Thank you, thank you for suc...Dear Sister,<BR/><BR/>OP here. Thank you, thank you for such a well thought-out and sincere post. It has helped me a lot and I will, indeed, be vigilant and 'mind my own garden', as I do have plenty of work to do.<BR/><BR/>I'm sure that we, as a society, would talk more about gossip (and the pain that it causes) if we were not all so guilty of it.<BR/><BR/>Guilt has a funny way of making us all ignore the elephant in the room.<BR/><BR/>You are wonderful for just coming out and saying these great, comforting and wise things.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-14893738970765850462009-03-05T15:30:00.000-08:002009-03-05T15:30:00.000-08:00My rule of thumb is don't say anything you would n...My rule of thumb is don't say anything you would not want repeated in the local newspaper with your name as writer.<BR/><BR/>You never know what peoples situations are, to quote all of our mothers: "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all." I bet you all have heard that line before.Claudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02714440790407126206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-69525527708282903742009-03-05T09:06:00.000-08:002009-03-05T09:06:00.000-08:00I think this leads to another question. What do we...I think this leads to another question. What do we do when the gossip is about us. How does one as a Christian act upon learning that someone is out there spreading rumors about her?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-66594515670365185202009-03-05T03:10:00.000-08:002009-03-05T03:10:00.000-08:00The "rule of thumb" is perfect.Gossip is a tough o...The "rule of thumb" is perfect.<BR/>Gossip is a tough one in the work place.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09630262224739505223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-25365420236336109302009-03-05T02:53:00.000-08:002009-03-05T02:53:00.000-08:00Speaking of what people do in church...I was at Ma...Speaking of what people do in church...I was at Mass on Good Friday. It was very crowded, and a lot of us were jammed into folding chairs in the back. A couple seats away from me a young woman--maybe 19 or 20--was texting on her cell phone. I was floored. If she had been a little younger, I'd have reached across and hissed at her to please stop, but since she seemed to at least look like an adult, I felt she ought to know she was in the wrong. I thought maybe there was some emergency at home, but she kept it up for nearly the entire Mass. I shot her some annoyed looks...I tried to focus on my own prayers instead of her flying fingers (very distracting)...and I left feeling very frustrated at myself (and everyone else around her) for not doing anything. What advice would you have for those of us trying to deal with adults behaving badly in church?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-73352488971829610122009-03-04T18:09:00.000-08:002009-03-04T18:09:00.000-08:00OK, why is there toilet paper in the chair?I am gl...OK, why is there toilet paper in the chair?<BR/>I am glad about Sr. Aloysius.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-90493071358079431272009-03-04T17:57:00.000-08:002009-03-04T17:57:00.000-08:00Something funny (or frightening) about the word go...Something funny (or frightening) about the word gossip is that it is a corrupted form of the word godparent. The newer meaning arose from the chatter that some people (even me on occasion) carry on after arrivng at church and before the mass starts. Thus one's godparent was one's gossip. <BR/>And it was all downhill from there.Katherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03040402805274505304noreply@blogger.com