tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post6477907589970715114..comments2024-03-05T14:07:28.062-08:00Comments on Ask Sister Mary Martha: A Pain in the NeckSister Mary Marthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00580244097177195453noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-71540881822441767922007-12-01T18:54:00.000-08:002007-12-01T18:54:00.000-08:00Sister: Thanks so much for your comment about the...Sister: Thanks so much for your comment about there being NO OLD PEOPLE. It is so true. I cared for my mother in her last months and therre were many times when I thought how humiliating it must be for her to be cared for in such ways by her daughter. She even said once that she had never dreamed that she would come to that pass. she was still young and beautiful inside and was saddled with an old, worn out body. It was my privilege to care for her during those last hard times, but I really hope that my children don't have to do that for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-62901350968835999782007-11-30T19:20:00.000-08:002007-11-30T19:20:00.000-08:00Dear Sister,Thank you for your reply. I fear I wa...Dear Sister,<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your reply. I fear I wasn't exactly clear in my post but, I am reading and rereading your response and praying for some clarity. I'll respond again when I've found it. <BR/><BR/>Dear Alexa,<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry you feel you get shot down when you post but, I want to thank you for sharing your experience. It has been most helpful to me to read what you've written, especially the part about your husband serving you. That really hits home for me. <BR/><BR/>Dear Tom,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your prayers. As always, I appreciate them and you!ann nonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06426622861196955113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-35763185521870388012007-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:002007-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:00Faithful Catholic-Praying for you.TomFaithful Catholic-<BR/><BR/>Praying for you.<BR/><BR/>TomTom in Vegashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17821971426359725229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-54304355614894267362007-11-30T16:20:00.000-08:002007-11-30T16:20:00.000-08:00I'm almost afraid to post a comment because I get ...I'm almost afraid to post a comment because I get shot down so often when I do -- but usually it's because I don't word my comments very well.<BR/><BR/>This post hit home to me though - I've mentioned (I think) my late husband who died at the age of 37. I was 36 when he died. We'd been married for almost 14 years. He had rapid, chronic multiple sclerosis and by the time he died he had been bedridden, incontinent, blind, catheterized, colostomy, feeding tube in this stomach, could only move one arm - and that wiggled all over the place, he was blind and his legs could no longer straighten out. <BR/><BR/>He had his first seizure on our honeymoon in Orlando, Fla. due to the heat we think.<BR/><BR/>We didn't get his diagnosis until shortly after our 2nd anniversary - and we thought he would only go blind because that was his worst symptom at the time... so, he took Braille but had to give it up because it soon became apparent that he couldn't feel the bumps. We had a baby thinking that we'd better hurry up or he wouldn't be able to SEE the child - much less play with him - and he lost his job when I was 3 months pregnant with our son.<BR/><BR/>Our son was born and soon afterwards my husband had to start using a walker - but he had rapid, chronic and progressive - never a remission to his case. By the time our son was 5, my husband was bed bound in a hospital bed in our living room and I cared for him until he died in my arms from septicemia, pneumonia and a UTI. <BR/><BR/>We were unable to have conjugal relations from when I was approximately 24 until he died - when I was 36.<BR/><BR/>I remained faithful to him and I grew in so many ways from that experience. I loved him when I married him - but in a way it was such an immature love - I learned so much about love from those 14 years of my life. So much about LIFE and the sanctity of it and the dignity of it and the wonderfulness of it - just as it is - without the accoutrements of wealth or fame or eye appeal. I learned that our life is here to serve others - and I don't mean specifically MY life serving my late husband either - I mean HIS life served ME and gave ME the knowledge of the dignity of MY life -- that I could partake in his suffering made me realize that I could partake in Jesus' suffering - and in the suffering of all the pain in the whole world. And the value of it.<BR/><BR/>Pain and suffering would have no value if Christ had not come into this world to redeem us. We can't have a 1/2 full cup unless we also have a 1/2 empty cup.<BR/><BR/>I loved him - and I carried out my duties sometimes like a real b**ch, unfortunately. But not always. Most of the time I grinned and bore it. Most of the time I was amazed at what I could do and what he lived with.<BR/><BR/>Our son grew up to be a phenomenal person. He's 25 now. Not the brightest bulb on the tree, but kind and generous and so very loving.<BR/><BR/>I wouldn't trade what I've been through for all the tea in China - nor would I ask to do it again though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-57011772753343481592007-11-30T14:09:00.000-08:002007-11-30T14:09:00.000-08:00I have a brood of little ones. Very often in publ...I have a brood of little ones. Very often in public, other people are forced to wait around because of us. For example, if we go to the library, it takes some time for all of us to get through the door. Perhaps a little self-consciously, my standard line to help pass the time is: "I always tell the kids that it's my turn to wait on them now, but when I'm eighty, they will be waiting on me. You know what they say about paybacks!"Whimsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01718011747484428178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30512717.post-52353218569802286382007-11-30T14:05:00.000-08:002007-11-30T14:05:00.000-08:00It's such a difficult time in people's lives - and...It's such a difficult time in people's lives - and it comes to us all, unless we are incredibly fortunate. I looked after both my parents too, for 8 years - and I absolutely hated doing it. I felt used, put upon, taken for granted - I was their daughter, not their nurse, and my sibling waltzed off saying "I don't know how you cope...." There is still, and I think, will always be, a rift between us, to this day.<BR/>I was taking care of 3 teenagers and an invalid husband at the same time - and I hope I will never, ever, have to do any of it again, for anybody.<BR/>What terrifies me more, is the thought that someone may have to do it for me - I have wondered, often, what to do about that......Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com