Theology in Space

Sister St. Aloysius hasn't been the same since she her return. Very quiet. Almostmopey. We had a period of readjustment, as Sister Nicholas was still here, moving around like a human dust bunny. I had chalked it up to that. I had to readjust when I got back. I'm sure no one even noticed, as all the air molecules were taken up by the sound waves emanating from Sister Nicholas.

I'm not one to go around asking people what's bothering them. The answers are generally beyond my abilities to respond anyhow. Especially Sister St. Aloysius, who is a genius, a deep thinker and not very articulate when she's worked up. Perhaps she's actually very articulate and I just don't understand a word of what she's trying to tell me.

With tense shoulders and clenched teeth I finally broached the subject.

"What's eating you?" I said, sweetly.

Why didn't I remind myself about some of the other theological discussions we have had? I still haven't gotten over the war in heaven.

She explained that while she was working at the think tank she was going over the odds that there is life on other planets.

"There is intelligent life on other planets," she finished. "Mathematically, there has to be."

"Not a problem!," I gushed. Indeed, Vatican insiders have been talking about this recently. "God created the universe and he loves everybody and everything in it! Nothing to worry about there!"

"What about Adam?" she posited.

"What about him?"

"Is there an alien Adam? Did each planet have it's own Eden? Perhaps one of the intelligent life forms never ate the equivalent apple and thus never fell from grace. Maybe that's why they can fly all around the universe and be so peaceful. What if they did fall from grace? How long was it between the fall of their Adam and the birth of Jesus? Are they still waiting? Maybe they have to come here to find Jesus! Maybe they are coming here to tell us about Jesus because, by the way we behave, they think we don't know! It's too much to think about!"

Well, I have to agree there. I am now left with yet another possibility, that the aliens from space had their own fall and their own Jesus (of course He would be the same Jesus) and that while we have the mosquito bite pale Jesus paintings they have this one.

Which would also mean that Jesus died for their sins on their planet? Maybe they make the sign of the ....whatever instrument of death they used. (For example there is a movie where the aliens from space die if they touch water. You only find this out at the end of the movie. Never mind that they have been running around in corn fields at night throughout the film. Last time I checked, DEW was made out of water. Someone needs to have a talk with that screenwriter. I only saw the film because our buddy, Mel Gibson, was in it. I won't be fooled again. I digress.)

Of course the Vatican thinkers who stirred up this can of worms never said word one about any of this.

I do think some good can come from this. If people think they have a difficult time now sitting at Mass and in traffic with their fellow Christians and finding love in their hearts when said Christians want to hold hands too much and honk at them all the time, think of what a stretch it's going to be to love them when they look like this.

It has to expand one's ability to embrace all God's creatures with love and compassion.

Heaven will look like the bar scene from Star Wars. (Yes, I've seen the first three. One has to stay current. Not that current, though, because I didn't see the more recent installments.) At least if the Polka Kings are wrong and in heaven there IS some beer.

Hell will look like it always has.