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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Mel in Hell


I had intended to devote this week to the Blessed Mother but Mel Gibson, our hero, got drunk and beligerent and arrested. We are, of course, praying for his soul and hope he has gone to confession.

Matt Drudge not withstanding, it is not for us to judge Mr. Gibson's sins, what he has done and his remorse or lack thereof. That is between him and his Maker.

But just for the sake of argument.....what ARE Mel Gibson's sins, anyhow? If he toppled off a cliff in Malibu right after his anti-semitic tirade, in what layer of hell would he have landed?

First of all, it is important to know there are two types of sin: mortal sin, a death blow to the soul and venial sin, lesser sins that just land you in Purgatory. "I was late for Mass." Venial sin. "I missed Mass altogether and went to the mall." Mortal sin. (Kathi....with an "i"! I hope you are paying attention!)

Hell would be in order if Mr. Gibson has committed a mortal sin and then died without a hearty act of contrition and the benefit of absolution by a priest. Since we know there were no acts of contritions during the arrest and tirade and no priest visible on the video tape, if Mel toppled off the cliff, what sins are his soul loaded with from his evening of editting the "Apocolypse" and swirling down PHC?

It's not a sin to drink. Your parish priest will back me up on this. It IS a sin to drink in access. Drinking to excess is a venial sin, meaning a stretch in Purgatory, but not doomed to hell. It is also a near occassion of sin, because you may be tempted while under the influence to do God knows what. If you cause anyone else to sin, you own that sin, too. Now you have a double sin. More Purgatory time.

But now Mr. Gibson flops behind the wheel of his car and endangers the life of others. Everything he does from this point on, as far as I can tell, falls under the fifth commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Kill." This includes hate and anger. Anger, venial sin. Hate, mortal sin.

We're not sure the level of Mel's ire here, but it sounds, well, mortal-ish.

Depending on what the Road Warrior said, exactly, we have any number of mortal sins for the anti-semitic remarks and no doubt a large number of venial sins falling under the Second Commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Take the Name of the Lord Thy God in Vain" and under the Sixth Commandment "Thou Shalt Not commit Adultery".

I know that might confuse you a little. Adultery? Huh?

In the Catholic church all sex related sins fall under the Sixth Commandment. We like to extrapolate. If the star of Lethal Weapon used sexually explicit language, venial sin.

So Braveheart's score would look something like this:

Mortal sins:
Drunk driving
Being filled with hate

Venial Sins:
Getting drunk
Being Angry
Swearing
Taking the Lord's Name in Vain
Resisting arrest
Saying filthy things

This is a conservative estimate and not based on actual events. Resisting arrest, by the way, falls under the Fourth Commandment "Honor Thy Father and They Mother" a courtesy that extends to authority in society (so long as that authority is not abused.) And all nuns.

Luckily the heroic man who brought us "The Passion of the Christ" did not topple off a cliff or get murdered in the pokey so he has a chance to set things straight with the Lord. Hopefully his penance will be 5 Our Fathers and 5 Hail Mary's and a large donation to retired nuns.

7 comments:

Auntie Di's De-Lites said...

Well if he ends up in hell or purgatory, I may actually get a chance to meet him!!!!

dody said...

i was thinking the same thing, auntie! shame on us. now go pray!

Mamadelic said...

bahaha! to auntie, that was frelling funny!

Dodge said...

Sister Mary Martha,

As you know, I'm your biggest fan and founder of the unofficial "Sister Mary Martha Fan Club." Please help me with this question...

How do nuns deal with hate? How do you advise others deal with it? Personally, I'd like to beat someone over the head with my shoe, but I'd rather hear your opinion.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Nuns are trained in obedience in ways that make the latte crowd's head spin and pop off.Saint Rita, for example, was made to water an old stick every day. (her devotion caused it to turn into a tree!) They are taught not to complain, as if no one on earth has it worse than that nun at any particular point in time, the soul in Purgatory do (in a joyous kind of way). St. Bernadette was harassed constantly in the convent because no one wanted her to have a big head over meeting Our Lady of Lourdes and founding a big giant healing spa. She did her tasks with joy and then collapsed and died.

So the answer is, with all this discipline...a foreign language to many....we work at forgiveness which disarms hate utterly. Tools of the trade,my dear, tools of the trade.

duchessSoF said...

If you are not a real nun, I hope God spanks your pank!

I am an evil hereticall Calivinist btw...enjoying your posts.

Grace to you. +

Anonymous said...

A big LOL at the "evil Calvinist". Priceless.