What Should You Give Up for Lent Made Easy

So here we are! It's Lent! Get out your hair shirts. Put the Pringles can down. Back away from the TV. Take a break from Facebook. Stop wearing shoes.

There are so many ways you can experience the period of atonement and sacrifice that is Lent. Here at the cyberconvent, we have our hands full so we haven't put much thought to what to give up this year. Thank goodness we stumbled across this.

What Should You Give Up For Lent?

Beware, the language is not completely, well, nice. But we're adults here.  It's not that bad. Just don't use that language yourself. Or, if you're already using that language, give that up for Lent. BOOM! You're welcome.

Now, how telling them that my favorite muppet is that Swedish Chef thing got them to pick giving up coffee for me is beyond my feeble comprehension. But they really nailed it, I have to say. The people around me are thrilled if I don't give up coffee for Lent.  If I did it would be a huge sacrifice FOR THEM, just to tolerate being around me. I have given up putting milk in my coffee, so that I don't actually enjoy it. But give it up?  That's dangerous.

Literally dangerous, to myself and others. I'm blind until I have my coffee. It's one thing to go to Mass and pray before having coffee, blind, it's another to actually work and be available to speak to people and that sort of thing.

But who am I to question BUZZFEED's amazingly accurate Lenten pick? 

A person who is about to unleash their uncaffienated self on the world, that's who.

Keep in mind that once you give up something for Lent, you're not allowed to moan and groan and complain about your deprivation. We are aligning ourselves with the suffering of Christ on the cross and He did not complain about opening the gates of Heaven for you or dying for your sins. You have to pick something that will cause you to suffer on some level and then put your big boy and girl pants on and deal with it.

It will make you a better person, I promise.

And, as always, lose weight and stop smoking on your own time. This is not about your looks or your health. You can't give up candy for Lent and then grin because your jeans fit nicely. And you shouldn't be smoking in the first place. What about "your body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit" don't you get? Cut that out. It's not a sin to smoke.  But Jesus wants you to quit.

Let us know if you get an accurate pick.

You Got Judas!

Oh no, I got Judas Iscariot!! I was wondering if he'd be an option and sure enough he's the one I get. Here's what it says: Black sheep, loner, ne’er-do-well, rebel… You’re the kind of person who’s never really fit in with the crowd and you’re okay with that. You do your own thing and live by your own rules. (Also, people don’t really seem to trust you for some reason. You might want to work on that.) Can I still read your blog or am I banned?

You're not banned. But watch out next time you walk through a field. You might burst.

The responses to yesterday's post were our laugh of the day!  Somebody actually got Judas! Glad I didn't have a mouthful of anything when I read that.

There are only two people in history that I can call to mind that are indisputable pariahs. No children (except perhaps the children of crazy people) are named for them. Their names are synonymous with betrayal, death, evil and mayhem. Hitler is one. Judas is the other.

The Judas kiss.

The comically cheery description of why our poor reader is most like Judas completely ignores centuries of connotations that all point to one thing: that person in the inner circle who is so evil he leads an innocent lamb to slaughter.

For his own gain? We don't know. The way we've always viewed Judas is that he became aggravated that Jesus wasn't overthrowing the Romans and snapped one day when a woman washed Jesus with some expensive perfume. Judas thought the money should go to the poor and Jesus told him to relax, just this once.

Which, by the way, is something we should keep in mind when we overly admonish ourselves for being too little, not doing enough, failing.  Even Jesus gave Himself a break.

But right after that Judas betrayed Jesus for the sum of thirty pieces of silver.

Scholars have gone round and round trying to figure out the Judas story.  He died several different ways. There are many theories about what little we do know.  He wanted a physical uprising. He didn't betray the whereabouts of Jesus, but His private teachings (which the Sanhedrin used at His trial).  Iscariot isn't about where he was from, but a nickname Jesus gave him, like calling Peter the Rock.

It's true that Judas may have felt like at outsider. He was the only non-Galilean. He kept the money for the group. No one likes that guy.

It's also true that we shouldn't see Judas as all bad. He was, after all, chosen by Jesus, the Divine Master (His nickname), to be in His inner circle.  What we need to remember about Judas is that even one such as this could have a colossal fall.

Another thing to keep in mind when you're beating yourself up about your lack of faith or you failings and inabilities to be the best follower.  Even one of Jesus' hand picked disciples failed spectacularly.

For the record, I got Matthew. And that doesn't fit me at all, either.

A Cyber Quiz

We have been here at the cyber convent a long time. During all of this time we've always had the eighth grade boys to help out with anything computer or internet related. We've been here so long, they are not the same eighth grade boys as when we began, and truth be told, at this point I think the kindergarten boys and girls would be almost as savvy. I recently had a young mother opine to me that her toddler was not potty trained but he could program the DVR. Whatever that is.

I know what that is.

Because that is the joy of having young people around all the time. You get to see whatever is the latest thing.  Of late they've been fascinated with all sorts of "which character from some TV show are you" websites.  "Which Harry Potter character are you?"  Then you take some sort of half baked test and the website tells you you are "Ron".  There are dozens of these. Pointless.  How can they tell if you are "like" some character when that character is entirely fictional?

It makes more sense to me to have one that would be "Which Founding Father are you?"  There probably is one of those.

But today, they emailed me the link for "Which One Of Jesus' Disciples Are You?"  So I had to take that test.  If I had to just guess, I would have said maybe "Peter", because he always seemed to struggle so much to figure out what to do, while at the same time having no qualms or doubts in his belief.

I'll be interested to see who you get.  How would they even know if you were like Jude?  We know almost nothing about him.

Who did I get?  I'll tell you tomorrow.

Lightening the Load

One of the things that happens when all around you is a bit sad and grim and people talking in low voices, is that folks send along things to cheer you up. It's a swell idea, really, because who really needs to spend every moment grim and sad and talking in a low voice. One of the most welcome sounds in a sick room is laughter.

And this made us all laugh.

Don't tell Mr. Schlephorst that this is how we really feel.

Before the Storm

Thanks for hanging in here with us, folks. We have been having a large transition period with many adjustments with two people now in hospice care, one of them our own beloved Sister Mary Fiacre.

I know many of you have had this experience and I hope you can share with us your memories and feelings. I feel it is such a precious time, this letting go, this gathering of time. Creating peace.

How is it that during all of these we eat like horses?  Or not at all.  Or coffecake. Just coffecake.

I will be around to answer questions and patron saint match, still my favorite preoccupation.

I hope to check back at week's end or certainly early next week. Meanwhile, talk among yourselves.

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off

Hello Sister. Is there a patron saint to help me get over a man?

Of course there is.

There is also time, keeping busy and the Corporal Works of Mercy, although you might want to skip "Bury the Dead" unless you sing in the church choir for funerals.

But patron saints always abound. 

Let me digress for a moment and mention that I always get help from saints. Where I'm sometimes not sure if my own prayers have been answered (given that it's sometimes not the answer we want or like or even notice), I am always sure of the thump of aide landing at my feet when I ask a saint to pray for me.

Now, you may recall that I have in the past asked you all to pray at a specific time for some reason, so that we are praying together. And I have the same thump of an answer from that. So, I have to wonder, if once I ask a saint to pray for me, if that saint hasn't gone around to his saintly pals in Heaven and done something like that.

Maybe it's silly of me. But I do think about things like that.

I also think about this type of thing. (Of course it was the graphic that drew my attention.)

There. I've finished digressing.

Onto your patron saints!

Let's start with St. Helena, who I think of as the patron saint of dump--ees.  St. Helena was colossally dumped by her husband the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. Happily for her, she had a son. When her husband dumped her for the younger trophy wife model, she went sadly away.

But when her ex went to where the woodbine twineth, Helena's son rose to the throne. From that point on, she lived a life of which women today would be envious. While her son Constantine established Christianity as the religion of most of the known world, she traveled freely and became an archaeologist (if by "archaeologist" you mean someone who finds major relics by being shown where to dig in dreams).  She discovered the true relics of the Cross, the nails, the scrounging post, etc.  Did she come up with Jesus' birthplace? I think so. I'l have to look that up.

So, while she feels your pain, she also sees how great life can turn out once you get past it.

Then I might also recommend St. Rita who, after a rather unhappy marriage, was able to finally requite her one true love and get married. To Jesus.   It's what she had always wanted in the first place. 

I wonder which patron saint these women might have turned to?  St. Helena was around before the whole idea of patron saintage was really going strong.  But St. Rita may have had some saints she felt comfortable calling on for help.  I'll bet it was maybe a virgin martyr or two. St. Cecilia, perhaps, or St. Agnes or Lucy.  

None of these women had life of moonbeams and stardust. But they found great joy and fulfillment in their lives, which is what we hope for you.

Hidelfont of Bengal Baden

In real life, I have a problem remembering names. Not a normal one. I'm really good at remembering names. Once I know your name, I'll never forget it. My problem is that I don't always get the name right in the first place, or pronounce it correctly, and once that happens, I will always remember what I think is your name. If your name is Margo, but I heard it wrong, I'll never be able to remember that you're not Margie. One poor lady I met, because I saw her name in print before I met her, will forever be Marcia (Mar-SEE-ah) to me. Her name is Marsha. But she spells it Marcia. Because I made this mistake early on in my relationship with her, I never trust myself to say the right name. I always wait for someone else to say her name first.

Happily for me, I tend not to do this with saints. Except for two. St. John of the Cross and St. Hildegard of wherever she is from. I always say John of the Cross when I mean St. Joseph Cupertino. I confused them once and it stuck.

And poor St. Hildegard. I have butchered her name six ways to Sunday. I have to stop myself from calling her St. Hilgefort, because I thought that was her name. And when it comes to her place of residence, forget it. I may as well just make up a name that starts with a "B" and be done with it.

Which is, apparently, exactly what I did.

Wasn't St. Hildegarde of Bingen, not Bergen? :-) 

Sideways smiley face, indeed.

I suppose there are worse mistakes one could make. Although there are few more humiliating moments that confidently calling someone you've known forever by the wrong name. At least I'm on the elderly side and am therefore often let off the hook. It's the one upside to being older. But the truth is, I've always done this, to my chagrin.

I brought it up to a friend recently and he rattled off a list of the hilarious things his Dad cluelessly gets wrong. 

"the DMV (department of motor vehicles), he calls the D and V"

"Immodium AD he calls Ammonia AD"

"he calls the Heimlich maneuver the Heimlich remover" (which is kind of what happens, really)

"Alzheimers is oldtimers" (understandable mistake)

"and he calls an out house and owl house"

 Like him, I believe I have the right name. Once in a while, someone is kind enough to correct me. It doesn't really help though, because going forward I second guess myself over which name is correct and if I got the correction right.

Thanks for the correction, dear reader. Upright smiley face.

A Bushel and a Peck and a Hug Around the Neck

 I, too, am looking for a Patron Saint, that is I found this blog. I am single, in my 50's and have a passion for learning, have trouble forgiving (and this bothers me) love music and am taking violin lessons, am seeking a job that I can live on and support my mom on with some luxuries (her art- my music) and be there for her as she ages. Please Pray that a Saint reveals themselves to me and that I find such a job soon.

That's a lotta patronage needs there. Is there a one stop shopping saint for you?  I think so.

Or you can turn to a pack of saints. For example:

St. Thomas Aquinas or St. Albert the Great for a love of learning.  Albert the Great was particularly great in terms of a passion for learning..

The patron saint of music is St. Cecilia, although she has never really been my pick, since she actually had nothing to do with music. Better she would be the patron saint of indoor plumbing and chastity.

I've always thought that Pope John Paul II would make a great patron saint for job seekers, as he had a job he loved for a very long time. St. John of God is another interesting choice. He was a jack of all trades, master of none type until he found his true calling.

And for living to a ripe old age and having a fine life of it at that, St. Raymond of Pinafort lived to be one hundred. He was very busy the whole time being a saint.

I'm sure this group would pitch in and pray for you.

But if you're looking for just one saint to cover all your patron saintly needs, may I suggest St. Hildegarde of Bergen. She is quite the learned, learning loving, musically gifted, disciplined to the point of finger wagging woman the Church has seen for a while. So much so that she became the fourth woman to be named a Doctor of the Church.

Check back with us and let us know how it goes!

Bad Habits Give Way to Good Habits

Happy New Year! the Wise Men are at the Manger with no unpleasant surprises. And then, any minute, we'll put it all away again. I think we ate all the cookies. Some of these tins might still have a flavor no one cared much for. We could freeze those for Lent.

That was a joke.

I can't believe how many questions have gone unanswered.  Perhaps we were in a cookie stupor. Having all your time taken up by deciding between Nieman Marcus cookies or Chocolate Chip bars can really destroy one's concentration.

So here's a chestnut from mid December. Please forgive our pokiness:
We're doing a Jesse tree devotion in my house of many children, and my oldest (17) has lately been questioning the God of the OT, who comes off as a little, um, ungodly, sometimes. Last night we were reading about Moses and Pharaoh, and he asked whether God actually did evil in sending plagues, hardening Pharaoh's heart, etc. I know good St. Augustine had trouble with God's wrath and vengeance, but where can I point my son to give better answers than the feeble ones I can offer?

Happily, for both of us, we answered this one not so long ago.  Not surprisingly, it seems it took me a long time to answer it that time, too.  

This one's a little tougher, but rather delightful:
Hi Sister! I'm 14, and I believe that God is calling me to be a sister. The only convent that is near me is Dominican. What is the difference between Dominican, Franciscan, Benedictine, or any other kind of sisters? How do I know which one to join? Thank you! 

Benedictines are more contemplative, meaning, they spend more time in prayer. Dominicans and Franciscans are more "active".  That means the order, or the particular congregation, has a job to do: running a school or a hospital, working as nurses or teachers, that type of thing. An easy distinction would be to say that orders like the Benedictines (Poor Clares, Carmelites, etc.) the Spiritual Works of Mercy are tantamount. They strive to purify their own souls in order to pray for the world. Their work tend to be work that sustains the community, gardening and bee keeping and bread making.

get one

Active orders are working at the Corporal Works of Mercy, in soup kitchens and schools, missions and hospitals.

One type is not better than the other. It depends on how you feel you are best suited.

That said, you're to young to know how you are suited at all.  Certainly a great many saints were called from early childhood and you may be one of those people. But these days orders don't take children and you are still a child. 

It's a beautiful thing to be and you have important work to do, learning about yourself and the world. Ultimately, when the times comes and you still feel called, you may choose an order, but bear in mind that they have to choose you, too. You can't just run off and be a nun. The order will want to make sure you have a calling and they will want to make sure you are a good fit for the congregation. That means you'l want to bring your "A Game".

And that's what you should be working on now. You're "A Game".  Be the best person you can be. Make good grades. Work hard, have compassion in all things.

And enjoy yourself. Have fun. Explore the world. If you are truly called, experiencing as much of the world as you can won't be hard to give up. You can close that door with joy only when you know what's behind it.

Out of Limbo

We only have two days to clean up any of our messes from 2013.  We don't have any giant messes, so that's good. We've been a little too full of cookies to think straight the last few days, but we're back on track now. It's a narrow window, because I believe more cookies may be happening for the New Year's Eve celebration. But not that narrow, because we have quite a few days before we have to dust off the Three Wise Men.  

So going back to this post about the good thief and where Jesus was when He was dead (you'll need a quick refresher to keep up)

The reason I thought that was that when Mary Magdalene saw Him risen, He told her not to touch Him as He had not yet been to His Father. Why say that, if He had been in Heaven already? I assumed From the Apostles Creed as well, that he had "descended into hell" or been with the souks in purgatory until then...oh well...I'm not that elderly and don't have a bladder infection as far as I know, just confused.

Glad to hear your health is not impaired.

I understand you're confusion. But it's actually not confusing.

Okay, it's confusing enough that St. Thomas Aquinas had to take time out and explain it. Thank goodness for that!

So....the "descended into hell" thing is about Jesus going to the Limbo of the Fathers and letting everyone out. 

He didn't say He had not yet been in Heaven. He said He had not yet ascended to the Father. When He ascended, He took his mortal body with Him. When He died on the cross, He didn't take His mortal body with Him.

Of course, this is a very important distinction, because we must believe that Jesus died and remained dead to believe the most important tenet of our faith, that Jesus rose again from the dead (and that He is God, that's really important, too).  Some people have been tempted to surmise that Jesus was pretty beat up, but didn't actually die. Then after a couple of days mending, He was able to get up again. That is not what happened.

St. Thomas Aquinas has a pretty mystical answer.

Also keep in mind that there are very good reasons that you should pay attention to what the Church says about what the Bible says, because if you go digging around in there on your own, you're liable to make some understandable but crucial mistakes. For example, the translation of the the word "touch".  The original word doesn't mean touch the way you and I would think of that. It means "cling".  It's more closely translated to say, "Do not cling to me", which indicates that Jesus didn't want a hug until everyone understood what was going on with His new glorified body.

Later, there are hugs all around.

I hope this finally clears it up for you.

Jesus wasn't lying or negating Himself.  Let's not miss the point of the story of the good thief. He was a believer and his belief was rewarded. Jesus died and opened Heaven so this man could enter.  That's what we need to know. That's what God wants us to remember. 

Botched Baby Jesus Says Merry Christmas!

We're a little behind on responding to questions and follow ups because yesterday we discovered that the Baby Jesus, which has to be ready for tonight's midnight Mass, had a chip on his face. (I have not capitalized "his" in that sentence because I'm referring to the statue of Baby Jesus for the manger, so calm down. Baby Jesus does not have a chip on His face.)

It was a gouge, really. I didn't want to end up like that poor lady who botched Jesus on the pillar. I have to say, though, between you and me, that botched Jesus makes me laugh really hard. Not because of the ruined art work (well, that too, truth be told), but because I can just imagine that lady, with the best intentions, poking away at it with her paint brush, thinking all was going along swimmingly, and then stepping back and seeing....not so much. Going from touch ups to an unfixable mess. Haven't we all been there?

You think, "If I just pull this thread...."  "If I just put a dab of paint here...."  "If we just cut the dog's toe nails a little..."  "If I just stack a few more things in this pile..."

And then...an unfixable mess.

So we were nervous about how to fix the statue. At least we avoided any finger pointing as to how he became chipped. It remains a mystery, although not a Sacred Mystery. Just a "he was fine when we put him in the box last year" mystery.

At least for his "birth" tonight, he's looking rosy, with a patchwork of spackle and water color paint. The spackle absorbed more paint that anticipated, making one cheek more rosacia than rosy, so we had to rosy up the other cheek. Botched Jesus could have snow balled from there. But all is calm and his cheeks are especially bright. We'll leave it at that for this year.

Then we'll let the pros take over.

So Merry Christmas! I'll leave you with some nuns at Christmas for your holiday (holy day) enjoyment.

Dead or Alive

I realize that it's all very mystical. But it's not too hard to make a timeline to track when Jesus died and what He did while He was dead.

Referring to what Jesus said to the thief on the cross (also known as St. Dismas), a reader asks:

I thought Jesus went to Heaven on the 3rd day, so why did he say "today"?

What makes you think that? Jesus was running around visiting the disciples and whatnot on the 3rd day. Surely you remember that? He didn't go to Heaven on the 3rd day, He rose from the dead on the 3rd day. Unless you live in Opposite World.

Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday. So He was was indeed dead that day. While He was dead, He opened the Gates of Heaven which had been closed since Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden.

Jesus not being dead on the third day.

On the third day, He was alive again and surprised Mary Magdelene. Later, He showed up where the disciples were still gathered in their post crucifixion cowering state. You may recall His famous encounter with Thomas. He spent the next 40 days running around in His Glorified Body, eating, appearing and disappearing, walking through walls, and going fishing with the gang.

Then he gathered them all on the beach, gave them some final instructions and ascended into Heaven. We call that the Ascension.  That's where the Gospels all end. We take up with the Acts of the Apostles to find out what happened next.

Jesus ascends into Heaven, still very much alive.

Fifty days later, the Holy Spirit descended on them and gave them the Gift of Tongues, while they were gathered together in "the upper room".  The disciples then dispersed to the four corners of the earth. We know what happened to Judas. Peter, Bartholomew, Thomas, Andrew, James and James and Philip, were all crucified, stoned, run through with poles, skinned alive and decapitated. John, Simon the Zealot, Matthew and Thaddeus lived to ripe old ages and "fell asleep", according to Hippolytus.

You seem to have the timeline completely backwards. You've just had a mental lapse that forgot that Jesus died on the cross. Perhaps you need a little coffee or a cookie.

Sometimes a bladder infection causes people to not quite be able to think.  Especially in the elderly. If an elderly person seems to suddenly have dementia, you can pretty much bet they have a bladder infection. Like clockwork.

The Case for Christmas

In our local paper this morning, here in Brisbane, there is actually an

article written by an Anglican priest, in which he is exhorting Christians everywhere to step back from Christmas altogether; he says we should just leave it to the shops and the secular enjoyment of the day, and instead reclaim the Incarnation by turning our focus to Easter instead. Not such a bad idea, really - there is never going to be a widespread resurgence of the religious significance of Christmas,that is a losing battle, and it was a pagan festival in the first place,wasn't it - adopted by the Christians in about the 3rd or 4th Century.

Oh, let's not. Let's not do that.

I understand his feelings about Easter. As a child our nuns always told us that we should celebrate Easter above all, since the Resurrection is the most important event. But I just never have been able to muster the excitement for Easter that I have for Christmas.

I know exactly why.

Christmas, celebrated in the dead of winter, is a cozy holiday. It's full of warmth and pretty lights and delicious food. Stockings are stuffed and a jolly old elf visits while we sleep, if we've behaved ourselves. Children's eyes sparkle in front of the tree.

At the heart of it all is a poor little baby, born to a poor family in a lowly place. A brand new baby who brought a new way of thinking. A baby who asked only one thing, "Love one another".   

And this also warms the heart.

It's not that Easter isn't heart warming. It's just not heart warming the way Christmas is heartwarming. For one thing, it's spring, and usually, we're already warm.  We don't need comfort food in the spring.

Christmas is sweetly miraculous, fully joyful and nurturing. Easter is mystical and glorious.

With eggs.

There is a reason those pagans threw a winter festival. We still need to stop in the dead of winter and love one another. We just have a way better reason than the pagans have.

I do think people could calm down about Christmas. There's no need to stress out so much about it. But I think that the reason that we do is because we actually do take it seriously, that we want to leave no stone unturned to send out love and greetings and cookies and toys. We don't want to leave anyone out and we sincerely want to bring joy to each other.

That's not such a bad reason for all that shopping, really. The Magi brought gifts, the shepherds came over. It was all lovely.

A poor little baby will always be at the heart of it. We're not really pagans.

And why on earth does anyone who believes there is a War on Christmas not believe there isn't a War on Easter?  I think Easter seems much more secular than Christmas, with bunnies and eggs and plastic grass and fancy hats.  And least Christmas has a saint deliver the goods, not a giant invisible bunny. I have never heard a peep from the War on Christmas crowd about Easter. What's up with that?

Stubborn as a Lutheran

Hello Sister! I love your blog! I am a cradle Catholic, life long friends with a cradle Lutheran. She is very devout in her faith. Lately she has been bugging me about Purgatory - specifically, that it doesn't exist. Her reasoning? Jesus said on the cross to the man crucified next to him (the good one) "TODAY you will be with me in Paradise". Not tomorrow, nor the next day, or after you get out of purgatory; TODAY. Implying that there was no passing go, no stopping for gas, just zooming right into Heaven without a pesky stop in Purgatory. How can I respond to her? I can't use "it's a sacred mystery" because she's Lutheran and won't buy it.

Not everyone goes to Purgatory!  Some people go straight to Heaven. Martyrs, for example, go straight to Heaven. Children under the age of seven go straight to Heaven. Very holy people go straight to Heaven. And anyone Jesus says is going straight to Heaven, goes straight to Heaven. So if Jesus said this guy will go to Heaven that day, that's that. It doesn't mean Purgatory doesn't exist.

Ironically, before Jesus died on the cross, no one went to Heaven, let alone Purgatory. Everyone went to the Limbo of the Fathers, because the gates of Heaven were not open. 

There's nothing mysterious about it.

I wouldn't hold my breath with your Lutheran friend arguing over Purgatory, however. The belief that Purgatory does not exist is at the very heart of the Lutheran faith. There would have been no reason for Martin Luther (who was a Catholic priest) to break with the Church. Luther was rightfully angry that the Church was selling indulgences and said so. He actually wasn't trying to leave the Church or found a new religion. 

The Church got mad back and booted him out. THEN he started the Lutheran sect. Too bad, because right after that, the Church reformed in a little thing called the Reformation.  

As far a Purgatory is concerned, Luther threw the baby out with the bathwater. Selling indulgences was wrong, but that doesn't mean Purgatory does not exist.

The argument about Purgatory  goes like this:
1. Where in the Bible is Purgatory mentioned?
Answer: It's not mentioned. Not by name. There is this passage from Maccabees, however, that mentions praying for the dead. That begs the question, if there is only Heaven and Hell, why should we pray for the dead? Everyone is already where they are going, permanently. So if the Bible asks us to pray for the dead, where are these people? There must be some place where the dead need our prayers. We gave that place a name.

2. Maccabees is not in my Bible! 
Response: No, it's not in your Bible because Martin Luther took it upon himself to remove it. Apparently, he knew better than 1500 years of doctrine and dogma, which books should be included in the Bible, a matter that was settle in the 4th century. Your Bible has had some pretty major overhauls, as a matter of fact. Words have been changed to support Luther's arguments.  For example, what did the angels say to the shepherds on the night that Christ was born?  Luther changed it to read "Glory to God in the Highest, Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men".  What it actually says was "Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth Peace to Men of Good Will." Quite a difference.

Available only at Zazzle

So which church would we like to follow, the one founded by Jesus when He was alive on Earth, or the one based on the the one founded by Jesus was alive on earth with changes made by Martin Luther, ex-priest?  It seems a simple choice to me. But then....I'm me.

Which reminds me! Here's an item we have that will remind you try not to end up in Purgatory.

Sister Mary Martha's Christmas Gift Guide

Now that I've aggravated people with my post from yesterday and have your attention, it's time to launch Sister Mary Martha's holiday gift guide.  Yes, I said holiday, which means holy day. (Always remember that!) Taking a tip from Oprah,  I found some of my favorite things.

For example. Here is a gift to please the whole family. Who wouldn't enjoy a little NUN BOWLING? Some of you might want to label them with nuns from your childhood. We know nuns these days are all hootenanny and peace signs, but that was not always the case. Bowl over Sister Marillia and then tells the kids about how it was "when I was a boy".

Twinkling LED saintliness

Of course, over at the shop, we can match you with your custom patron saints. We make a great stocking stuffer. But keep in mind that having a medal that reminds you of your saint is just a way to remind yourself to behave, so that some day you may make it to Heaven.

So here's another good way to remind yourself or your loved ones of your saintly goals.

We know a lot of people need reminding, so the price is right on this item.

Okay,okay, these items are a little...not serious. But here is an item I've found at the local religious goods store. Every once in a while I pick up a couple and whoever they've landed with has been delighted to get one. And you'll get six! And if you look around, you'll see that there are other types, from the 12 Steps to inspirational quotes, the various names of Jesus! There are a lot of different types.  Every time you click your pen you get a different step or Commandment or Beatitude or name of Jesus.  Fantastic!

We have a few more, but for today, we'll end with a a gift for all those people who are concerning themselves with the War on Christmas.  Jesus is the reason for the season, after all.

This has been so much fun! If you have some gift ideas, we'll be happy to pass them on. And we'll keep surfing.

The War on the War on Christmas

Of course, the war on the war on Christmas rages on:

Pity you do not understand the war on Christianity in this country. Just keep those fingers in your ears and singing LA LA LA LA.

Although my fingers are not in my ears (my wimple makes that impossible), I clearly do not understand the war on Christianity in the country. I am wondering if you live in some pocket of the United States where your church was burned to the ground?

Was your family arrested? Anyone shot by a firing squad?

Were you marched into a town hall and asked to renounce your faith on penalty of death or imprisonment? And when this happened, you and the other Christians took up arms? Because that would be WAR. That would be what an actual WAR looks like. We've seen enough of it to recognize it when it happens.

Or is the possibility of violence just growing because the neighbors asked you to take your manger off your lawn? Oh, no one asked you to remove your manger? From your own lawn?
No?  Because in the United States, you have the freedom of religious choice and no one can take that away from you.

AND YOU CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ANYONE ELSE, EITHER.

Which is why, while you can have your manger on your lawn, we maybe don't have a manger in the town square.  But we VERY OFTEN do. Because we are still actually mostly tolerant of the beliefs of others. And comically, if anyone tried to only put up secular Christmas decorations, they'd fail, because practically all Christmas decorations are symbolic of Christ and the Faith. Except the reindeer. And maybe the Nutcracker. (But he was a Christmas present, commemorating the Birthday of Jesus, so....)

There is no war on religious beliefs in this country. The President and the Congress pray publicly on a regular basis. They actually shouldn't do that, but no one has stormed the halls with machetes to make them stop. Some people have merely complained about it, which is their right as a citizen, not an act of war.

Perhaps you are merely referring to the notion that because abortion and gay marriage (in a growing number of states) are legal, your religious tenets are being trampled.

But they are not. Unless you have been forced to have an abortion or marrying someone of the same sex, your beliefs are safe and sound. The rest is hyperbole. People disagreeing with you is not an act of aggression.

And, if I may be honest, comes off as a little whiney. What warlike thing has happened? I'm having trouble seeing the gunsmoke through the Christmas lights.

The Golden Rosary

Hello Sister Mary Martha, I love your blog! It's opened my eyes to a lot about the Catholic faith, especially how practical it really is, even wrapped in the richness of mysticism (a la Teresa of Avila, not a seance) and holy mysteries. I have a question about a practice I've heard about, but only in bits and pieces. It has to do with saying a rosary on the first Saturday of five consecutive months. Of course a daily rosary helps everyone, but from what I've heard this is something additional. Can you tell me more about what this practice is for, if there are special graces obtained, and what may be involved other than just saying the rosary on these five Saturdays? Thanks for your help! A faithful reader

Yes! How lovely! I don't think anyone has ever asked me about this, even in the non-cyber world. 

Here's the thinking behind this one. We like to honor Mary. So Saturday has traditionally been the day of choice because of Mary's vigil on Holy Saturday, while Jesus was in the tomb.

We really leave no stone unturned in the Catholic Church. What's the best day of the week to honor Mary?  Who would even think to ask that question?  Why not just honor Mary any day of the week? No, someone had to sit down and figure out which day would be best. Of course we did.

So that was already going on. But in 1925, the Virgin Mary appeared to Sister Lucia  at her convent in Portugal. You remember Sister Lucia! She was one of the three children of Fatima, who lived to a ripe old age as a Dorothean sister. Mary revealed a heart encircled in thorns, explaining the Jesus' heart is constantly pierced by "ungrateful men". (I'm sure she meant women, too, and children over the age of seven....)

Mary said there was no one to make reparation.

The Golden Prayer is a little more complicated than just saying a rosary on the first Saturday for five consequetive months.  First of all, you have to say a whole rosary. That means you go through your beads four times and all four sets of mysteries: Glorious, Joyful, Sorrowful, Luminous.

And that's not all! You have to go to Confession and Holy Communion and you have to keep company with Mary for fifteen minutes. Because this devotion is all about comforting Mary and defending her.

I'm not sure why Mary picked fifteen minutes. But Sister Lucia has confirmed that it does not count the time you've spent saying the full rosary (all four sets of mysteries). You pick one mystery and meditate on that for fifteen minutes. 

I don't know why she picked fifteen minutes. But I do now why there are five first Saturdays as opposed to nine (like a novena) or any other number.  Jesus appeared to Sister Lucia in 1930 and told her it was because there were five ways in which Mary was particularly offended: blasphemies against her Immaculate Conception, against her perpetual virginity, against the divine and spiritual maternity of Mary, blasphemies involving the rejection and dishonoring of her images, and the neglect of implanting in the hearts of children a knowledge and love of this Immaculate Mother.

Also keep in mind that no one has to pay any attention to anything that is a private revelation, which includes Fatima, anything Sister Lucia has to say or that Mary appeared to Sister Lucia and asked for this. Your feeling about private revelations are entirely up to you. The Church does give some of them Her blessing, and this is one of those.

It would be good to keep these things in mind during your time spent with Mary.
And here's a little Christmas bonus for you! Since I missed St. Nicholas day here on the blog, let's pretend there is a loud knock coming through your computer.  

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

CLICK THIS LINK!  (it's not a virus, I promise)
You're welcome.

Sister Mary Martha Wins the War on Christmas

There! I believe I have answered all the questions in our queue.

It's Advent! My favorite time of year! And time to address, once again, the ridiculous notion that there is a "War on Christmas".  If you actually think there is a war on Christmas, you clearly stay in your house from September until  mid-January. The Walgreen's has shoved the sand pails and swim noodles to the sale aisle to make room for Christmas items even while they're trying to find a little room for some orange and black items for Halloween. It wouldn't surprise me if "Happy Holidays", which now include Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas and New Year's Eve and day, roped in Halloween as well.

The basis of the idea of the war on Christmas is driven by some sort of persecution complex that some people seem to get when they are reminded that not everyone in the world, or the country, or the town, is Christian.  We'd love it if everyone was a Catholic, but welcome to reality.

Let me point out two things:

1. What persecution actually looks like.

2.  Why is everyone so worried that Christmas is becoming too secular, too commercial? Christmas really was originally a pagan holiday (as was Halloween). And the Church at first tried to ban the holidays ( a word, by the way, that means HOLY DAY..those days were holy for pagans, too). But then the Church figured out (as the United States eventually did with Prohibition) that people are not going to stand for grim winters with no turkey leftovers and warm yule logs and not a single party. The Church actually passed an edict stating that the festivals were not to be banned, suppressed or burned to the ground. The Church instructed, in a stroke of brilliance, that the festivals should be incorporated by simply changing the symbolism and focus of the outward manifestations of the party.

So the big evergreen tree became a symbol of everlasting life and hope. The candle and yule logs became the Light to the world brought by Jesus. If gift giving was good enough for the Magi, it's good enough for us. The snow itself is a white blanket of purity. The holly is the evergreen of life and the red blood of Jesus' sacrifice. A candy cane is purity and martyrdom.

If you're concerned about secularization, just...incorporate. We did it once. Why can't we do it again?  I challenge you to find me something I can't turn into Christmas and Jesus and the Church.

Okay...between you and me, I can't figure out the reindeers. Santa is covered, since he's actually a saint who loved children. But the reindeers have me stumped.

We don't have to worry about Frosty the Snowman. He's just a winter story. Although he is...white. Pure as the driven snow.  But he has a magic hat. That won't do.  If you are a long time reader, you know I don't have a problem with children learning magic stories. But if you're trying to incorporate Frosty, the hat would have to go. Otherwise the hat can stay.

And calm down if someone wishes you "Happy Holidays".  Three things: They are actually saying "Happy Holy Days" whether they realize it or not.  They are trying not to offend you, so why be offended by someone who is trying to be nice? And there are more days of celebration during the season than Christmas and they just want you to be happy during all of them.

Chillax.