Dead or Alive

I realize that it's all very mystical. But it's not too hard to make a timeline to track when Jesus died and what He did while He was dead.

Referring to what Jesus said to the thief on the cross (also known as St. Dismas), a reader asks:

I thought Jesus went to Heaven on the 3rd day, so why did he say "today"?

What makes you think that? Jesus was running around visiting the disciples and whatnot on the 3rd day. Surely you remember that? He didn't go to Heaven on the 3rd day, He rose from the dead on the 3rd day. Unless you live in Opposite World.

Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday. So He was was indeed dead that day. While He was dead, He opened the Gates of Heaven which had been closed since Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden.

Jesus not being dead on the third day.

On the third day, He was alive again and surprised Mary Magdelene. Later, He showed up where the disciples were still gathered in their post crucifixion cowering state. You may recall His famous encounter with Thomas. He spent the next 40 days running around in His Glorified Body, eating, appearing and disappearing, walking through walls, and going fishing with the gang.

Then he gathered them all on the beach, gave them some final instructions and ascended into Heaven. We call that the Ascension.  That's where the Gospels all end. We take up with the Acts of the Apostles to find out what happened next.

Jesus ascends into Heaven, still very much alive.

Fifty days later, the Holy Spirit descended on them and gave them the Gift of Tongues, while they were gathered together in "the upper room".  The disciples then dispersed to the four corners of the earth. We know what happened to Judas. Peter, Bartholomew, Thomas, Andrew, James and James and Philip, were all crucified, stoned, run through with poles, skinned alive and decapitated. John, Simon the Zealot, Matthew and Thaddeus lived to ripe old ages and "fell asleep", according to Hippolytus.

You seem to have the timeline completely backwards. You've just had a mental lapse that forgot that Jesus died on the cross. Perhaps you need a little coffee or a cookie.

Sometimes a bladder infection causes people to not quite be able to think.  Especially in the elderly. If an elderly person seems to suddenly have dementia, you can pretty much bet they have a bladder infection. Like clockwork.