Infant Shopping

We have a lot of pew polishing to do this week, so today we have a short question to answer.

Hi ... I am in search of a statue of the baby infant of prague...my grandmother had one that was under a glass dome screwed to a brown wooden plate it was porcelain and the robe had a velvety touch.

My goodness! Ebay!  It depends on how much you want to spend on the statue. You can go to any religious goods store online. Does he have to be under a glass dome?

Here's a little information on the Infant of Prague. Have a quick read. I'll wait.

Okay, so you can get anything from a little statue made of plastic or plaster (which means he'll always be in his traditional red cape rendered in plastic), to the fancy in kind that is just like the original and you change the little outfits.  I actually have one of the former, and now we also have a little plaster one with a removable cloth cape.  We just leave it on him. It's always chilly in our house because California houses are not insulated.Or you can spring for an more full size statue with all his different outfits. Outfits sold separately.

You could conceivably get one like mine with a removable cape and then make a velour one and replace the doll clothes one. The one we have is made from whatever that stuff is out of which doll clothes are made. But it does have a nice sort of white lace like trim on it.

Since you clearly know how to use the internet, just google "Infant of Prague Statue".  There is one in a dome on Ebay as we speak, but it's a pricey one. There are many, many others at very affordable price points.

A very holy Holy Week to everyone. We'll post between polishing if we can. 

Martyrs

It's HOLY WEEK!  The final sprint of Lent.  Perhaps "sprint" is not term we want to use. I had a reader long ago who described Lent as "rubbing along".  So, somewhere between sprinting and rubbing along is where we stand. It's a busy week of Mass and Passion, so we're going to spring clean our question list.

Martyrs. Are they automatically saints or do they also need to  perform miracles? I'm particularly interested in Thomas Byles who, instead of taking a life boat off of the Titanic, stayed behind to administer sacraments to those about to die. Does that make him a martyr?

Technically, no. Father Thomas was on his way to New York to officiate at the wedding of his younger brother when the great ship went down to the bottom of the sea.  He did indeed refuse a seat on a lifeboat twice to stay behind and hear confessions and grant absolution. 

Martyrs are automatically saints, no miracles required. But bravery is not martyrdom. A martyr is someone who dies defending the faith. To be a martyr, someone would have had to say to Father Thomas, "If you deny that Jesus is God, or your Savior, then you can get on a lifeboat."  Father Thomas simply chose to stay and do his job.

That's not to say it wasn't wholly heroic. But it would be hard to prove sainthood without miracles.

To start with, clergy is held to a higher sin standard, because they are responsible for the souls of others.  It's why the new Pope is constantly asking for your prayers, because when he fails even in small ways, the repercussions are massive.

Then the Church would study the life of Father Thomas to see if he lived a life of heroic virtue. He certainly did at the end there.  Then we need two miracles.

You could take up the cause for his sainthood!

There are other people whose martyrdom is in question. The one who springs to mind is St. Edith Stein. She is often called a martyr, but technically speaking, I don't think she actually qualifies. She was a Jewish girl who converted and became a nun. In question is whether or not she was arrested and sent to the gas chamber for being a nun or for being Jewish.  If it was because she was a nun, then she did die for her faith. The thing is, she was arrested for being a Jew (she and her sister had been forced to wear the yellow star, prior to their arrest).

Not to worry, though, she has at least one miracle under her belt, a little girl who was dying from an overdose of Tylenol and survived after her family and friends prayed for the intercession of Edith. Because she is more or less seen as a martyr, she was canonized. But there have been people who have questioned the martyr issue.

I'm with you!  Surely, Father Thomas is in Heaven!

Tattoos on the Heart

Sister, my brother has a a heartbreaking problem with. his son who is 11 and losing his faith. My brother has divorced and remarried (there was an annulment), and now this kid spends half his time with his mother (who has since divorced & remarried twice), and the other half in my brother's new home. Very ugly circumstances--the "natural" mother has had little interest in raising her son, though she wants "her share" of custody. He is in counseling, Catholic school, attends Mass and the sacraments, and in my brother's house practices the faith devoutly. But he is sinking under. Is there a saint whose intercession we could beg? Anything we could give him to read? How can we help this poor kid?

Poor kid. 

We could turn to the Holy Family.  But that's not my recommendation for today. Not that is ever a bad idea.  It's just that when we think of the Holy Family we call to mind a family full of love and peace and compassion for each other and the people around them, not a family blown apart by divorce and rancor.

Wait a minute.

I've changed my mind. That is my recommendation. Because what that boy needs is a family full of love and peace and compassion for one another and the people around them, including his poor mother. Whatever she may be or how ever she may fall short, she is his mother. 

In order for the child to have faith, everyone around him must live theirs.  That is the very best you can do.

I think of Father Greg Boyle, the Jesuit who has spent his life working with gang bangers, the lowest of the low, the meanest of the mean. He approaches only with love.

“Here is what we seek: a compassion that can stand in awe at what the poor have to carry rather than stand in judgment at how they carry it.” 
― Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion

He isn't just talking about a lack of money and what that causes people to do. He is also talking about the poor of spirit and also reminds us:

“Kinship– not serving the other, but being one with the other. Jesus was not “a man for others”; he was one with them. There is a world of difference in that.” 
― Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion

If Father Boyle can make as much headway as he does with these people, imagine what we can do, leading by example, with more 'ordinary' folks!

Don't run around with your hair on fire. It's also perfectly normal for an eleven year old boy to question religion and philosophy. Children at this age are figuring out who they are, who they want to emulate and more than anything else, they yearn for autonomy from their parents and authority figures. It sounds as though the family has already done everything they can to give him a firm base from which to grow. Sometimes questioning your faith helps reaffirm it.

Teach him the Memorare. 

Remember, Oh most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known, that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly to thee, Oh virgin of virgins, my mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Oh mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petition, but in they mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

Tell him the name of the prayer is "Remember".  He will, for his whole life and in times of great need.

And call on St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children.  Santa Claus never let anyone down.

White Smoke

We have to take a break from the raging discussion in the comments section on my comments on evangelizing Mormons (and Mormons evangelizing) to wipe our tears of joy from our exciting day yesterday.

Welcome to our new Pope, Pope Francis I.  We happened to have the tube on when the chimney suddenly started pouring out white smoke. A handsome Italian correspondent had been blabbing to some lady on the news about how everyone was standing in the rain and what time it was in Rome, when there it was.  It was so very exciting to be a part of that moment and then wait holding our breath to see who had been chosen.

Do nuns always cry when a new Pope is elected? Not always. I didn't cry when Pope Benedict was elected. I figured he was a shoe in.  I wished I had had a bet in Vegas on that one.

But this was so thrilling and unexpected.

It was his name that did me in. Francis.  That is a message to the world.

We've talked about St. Francis of Assisi many times here in the cyber convent. He is everyone's favorite saint for his beautiful and thorough humility and love, his poetry and compassion.  He was the most faithful follower of Christ's teachings that I can bring to mind, and his simple philosophy caused the numbers in his order and other orders of priests and monks and nuns to balloon in his own lifetime.

the travels of St. Francis Xavier

I know there are some who think he choose Francis after St. Francis Xavier, who was also a Jesuit like the new Pope. But those in the know in the Vatican (if we are to believe the handsome Italian correspondent) say the new Pope was thinking of St. Francis of Assisi.

Of course, St. Francis Xavier was no slouch. He was one of the founders of the Jesuit order and he traveled to India, Japan and Borneo.  He converted more people around the globe than St. Paul and he was sharp as a tack, learning that languages of the people he sought to convert and changing his tactics to get their attention when whatever he was doing wasn't working.

Our new Pope has such big shoes to fill.  When he first stepped onto the balcony, I was struck by how burdened he looked. So did the other people out there with him, shuffling around with the microphones and banners and flags.  Pope Francis' first remarks were comforting.  His job is overwhelming.

The world is overwhelming.

It's still Lent. A today, we know exactly where to offer our suffering.

White Smoke

We have to take a break from the raging discussion in the comments section on my comments on evangelizing Mormons (and Mormons evangelizing) to wipe our tears of joy from our exciting day yesterday.

Welcome to our new Pope, Pope Francis I.  We happened to have the tube on when the suddenly started pouring out white. A handsome Italian correspondent had been blabbing to some lady on the news about how everyone was standing in the rain and what time it was in Rome, when there it was.  It was so very exciting to be a part of that moment and then wait holding our breath to see who had been chosen.

Do nuns always cry when a new Pope is elected? Not always. I didn't cry when Pope Benedict was elected. I figured he was a shoe in.  I wished I had had a bet in Vegas on that one.

But this was so thrilling and unexpected.

It was his name that did me in. Francis.  That is a message to the world.

We've talked about St. Francis of Assisi many times here in the cyber convent. He is everyone's favorite saint for his beautiful and thorough humility and love, his poetry and compassion.  He was the most faithful follower of Christ's teachings that I can bring to mind, and his simple philosophy caused the numbers in his order and other orders of priests and monks and nuns to balloon in his own lifetime.

the travels of St. Francis Xavier

I know there are some who think he choose Francis after St. Francis Xavier, who was also a Jesuit like the new Pope. But those in the know in the Vatican (if we are to believe the handsome Italian correspondent) say the new Pope was thinking of St. Francis of Assisi.

Of course, St. Francis Xavier was no slouch. He was one of the founders of the Jesuit order and he traveled to India, Japan and Borneo.  He converted more people around the globe than St. Paul and he was sharp as a tack, learning that languages of the people he sought to convert and changing his tactics to get their attention when whatever he was doing wasn't working.

Our new Pope has such big shoes to fill.  When he first stepped onto the balcony, I was struck by how burdened he looked. So did the other people out there with him, shuffling around with the microphones and banners and flags.  Pope Francis' first remarks were comforting.  His job is overwhelming.

The world is overwhelming.

It's still Lent. A today, we know exactly where to offer our suffering.

Missionary On the Phone

I't's always a good day for me when the question takes up almost the whole post. I shall confess my laziness later and polish the pews with extra vigor.

Dear Sister, A few years ago members of the LDS church were courting me. I started talking to them because I needed someone (anyone) to talk to about God. I am a practicing Catholic and knew right away that I would never convert because you just can't get the Eucharist any where else! But after a while I did realize that the Book of Mormon is really suspect and I don't agree with much of what they preach at all, so I broke it off with them. About a month ago I listened to a CD from Lighthouse media called "From Mormon Missionary to the Catholic Church" by Thomas Smith. I was wowed by his advice and experiences, but I also felt that maybe I'd wasted a good opportunity to point out what the scripture really has to say about some important issues for the LDS church (Smith goes in to a lot of this in his talk. He says that when he was a missionary he had never sought out other translations or even looked at the verses they use to back up their theology in their original context.  He was introduced to other ways of reading the verses through his missionary work with a woman who had a NRSV Bible).

So, today I got a call from the LDS again, asking if anything had changed in my life and if I'd like to learn more about their church. I said no... but now I feel like maybe I should call them back?

Nothing has changed for me, except that I may be better prepared to be a Catholic missionary to the LDS missionaries. My dilemma is that I want to talk to them in order to give context to some of the material they use to back up their claims... in order to make them take a look at their faith in LDS... but that seems dishonest to me. I know I'm on the right spiritual path for me... but should I be messing with theirs under the pretence that I want to know more about their faith?
Is it better to pretend not to know about some of their teachings in order to shed some light for them, or is it better to be honest and let them stay in the dark?

Oh, it gets better. Now all I have to do to inspire you is post this link to the saint of the day, St. John Olgilvie.

No one is asking you to tough it out in Scotland or even Utah. 

To get to your question, should you call them back under the pretense of wanting to know more? No. That would be dishonest.  St. Augustine believed that lying was the very worst sin. Or maybe it was St. Thomas Aquinas. One of those two thought that.  

Should you let them stay in the dark?  You don't have to.

They didn't call you and ask, "do you want to join our church?"  They called and said, "Has anything changed?"  And the answer to that is, "Yes! I researched a lot about your tenets of faith and I am happy to tell you I have found my faith! In the Catholic Church." You could call them back and say you realized that you didn't answer the question they had fully.  "Thanks for calling me!  I realized that I wasn't fully present when you called and I'd like to tell you the answer to the question that you asked."

My bet is that they won't hang up on you.  These are people that go door to door. They LOVE to argue about their teachings. When I was a child my mother always let them in when they came to the door and we had quite the discussion on every occasion.  I don't know if we got through to them.  But we certainly listened to what they had to say about Joseph Smith and his Golden Ticket that got lost in a haystack after he was the only person to see it.  That was enough for me as a ten year old to cast serious doubt on this religion, not founded by Jesus at all. Although I think there was something in there about Jesus having come here to the United States in a canoe. I couldn't take any of it seriously, but the people that came to the door were lovely, polite young men.  

Meanwhile, if it was good enough to inspire St. John Olgilvie, it's good enough to inspire us. Here is little Cindy Bush, whoever she is, singing a favorite of mine, "Come Unto Him" from Handel's "Messiah".

"Come unto Him, all ye that labor. Come unto Him ye that are heavy laden, and he shall give ye rest. Take His yolk upon you and learn of Him. For He is meek and lowly of heart. And ye shall find rest. And ye shall find rest unto your soul."

A wonderful thing to keep in mind for Lent.

It's odd to me that everyone seems to think the "Hallelujah Chorus" from Handel's "Messiah" is a Christmas song. It isn't. Handel's famous number tells the story of the whole life of Christ and the "Hallelujah Chorus" is the big finale after the Resurrection. In my mind it is more properly an Easter song.  Maybe we'll start an "Messiah" for Easter campaign.

No Voodoo and Day of the Dead

Weight Watchers Charm Bracelet

I'm not trying to be facetious, but how is wearing a saint's medal or a scapular different from wearing a charm?

That's a fair question. Oddly, I was wondering just the other day why no one has asked that one. The answer is very, very simple. 

It  is completely different.

To begin with, let's point out that the word "charm" has more than one meaning.  There's charm, as in a an attractive trait  a person might have. Like Mame. I believe she charmed the husk right off of the corn. If only she had also charmed the corn right off the the cob, she would have been so useful in the kitchen.

There's a charm, like the little things that dangle off a charm bracelet. No evil to be found there among the little musical instruments and tea pots and tiny elephants.

Then there is that to which you refer, a charm that  some is believed to hold some sort of magical power. The charm and its magical power are both nonsense, so of course, you are not allowed to give any of that silliness any credence.

When we wear a scapular or a saint's medal, we don't claim (I hope!) that they have magical powers. They do represent very powerful things: the amazing life of a saint, the boundless forgiveness of God, the life to which we should all aspire.  We wear them to call these things to mind.

They are really more akin to your charm bracelet, without the frivolity.  Unless your charm bracelet is a voodoo charm bracelet with little skulls on it. 

We do bless these objects, which are called "sacramentals", but it doesn't give them magical powers. It simply means the object is dedicated to God's service. It might seem crazy to bless a car. We're not making a car holy or giving it special powers. We're dedicating it to God's service.

Calm now?

That was easy. This one, not so much:
Can Catholics donate their bodies to science? Or their organs--can their organs be harvested?

This is a very controversial topic. Yes. No.  That's the answer.

The Catholic Church has no problem with you donating your organs or your body. As long as your body is treated with dignity.  And as long as your are completely dead when your organs are harvested.

That is where the controversy lies.  Often, in order to harvest organs such as the heart, a person is actually kept alive through artificial means so the organ is as fresh as possible. That's a no no.  Many Catholics don't want to take the chance that that might happen and so they insist it should not be done. But not all organs are harvested this way.  

There are two  rules: The person has to have had made clear that they wanted to donate their organs and you can't give away anything you need to stay alive if you are alive.  So you can unload that other kidney and bless your heart for it. 

Some kind soul put together some pertinent papal decrees on the subject, all in one place for your perusal.

Oh, for Pete's Sake

I have to assume that the expression, "for Pete's sake!" has something to do with St. Peter. I can't think what it would be, but today I'm glad to call on St. Peter to talk some sense into people. Since our last post about the haunted house we've had a loony discussion in the comments section that I feel we must address. 

 I am wondering whether those haunting the house have a message of healing to offer, and keeping on being ignored just makes it harder for them to offer it? Logically, this is a possibility offered by process of elimination, consulting the options Sister has discussed so far: "Their purpose may be to teach or warn, or request some favor of the living." Thus, if I had the courage, I might ask what it is each remaining one wants, or to offer that is helpful.

What part of "don't talk to the ghosts" did you miss? Don't talk to 'ghosts'.  We don't know what they are but, whatever they are, it can't be good.  The author who talked about ghosts being there to teach or to warn wasn't talking about some type of spirit that endlessly hangs around a house smoking cigars and rattling the dinnerware.  He was talking about an apparition, like when you suddenly see your dead Aunt Margie and she is motioning to you.  (She is motioning to you to pray for her, no doubt.)

What about the people like the long island medium who believe the dead can talk to/through them? She seems sincere, and it appears that she comes up with things that she has no way of knowing -- it gives so much comfort to people, I can't believe a demon would do anything to comfort anyone. She says she's a practicing Catholic, but I'd love to know if she has discussed her powers with her parish priest, and if so, what he told her.
'
If she talked to a priest he told her, "don't talk to ghosts".  It's against canon law to be a "medium", so any priest would tell her to cut that out, no matter what she believes she's doing. We thank another reader for setting things straight:

Meg commented: I can't believe a demon would do anything to comfort anyone Why not? If it causes you to run to psychics or mediums or the like, they've done their job.

I couldn't have stated it better.

If you've used blessed salt, and it hasn't bothered them (quantity wouldn't matter, it's the faith with which it is used), they probably are souls in purgatory. These souls are only allowed to manifest themselves to ask for prayers, so I really think that what you are doing (praying for them) is the right thing. I'll pray for them, too, and for you!

No, they are not souls in Purgatory, because no one has Purgatory in their house or yard or old hotel. Purgatory is outside time and space.  You're right that souls from Purgatory have sometimes asked for prayers, but, again, they ask and that's the end of it. Even Jacob Marley didn't spend the rest of Christmas Eve badgering Scrooge. He gave Scrooge the what for and took off.

This idea that anyone would have to endlessly hang around to get their point across is why, ultimately, the apparitions at Medjugorje have never been approved by the Church. If Our Lady hasn't delivered her message by now, after daily apparitions to a bunch of children for years on end, we have to wonder what's up with Our Lady. 

At this rate, I'm surprised no one has mentioned trying a Ouija Board or some Tarot cards. Trying to talk to the dead is on the same "do not try this at home" list of sins as those things. I hope this settles the matter. We have questions that need answering!

Who Ya Gonna Call?

When I was a little girl we used to play a game we made up called, "I Hope the Ghost Comes Out Tonight!"  It was a scary night time version of tag that we would play at dusk in the summertime.  One kid would hide somewhere and then, after counting for a bit ala hide and seek, we would slowly walk across the yard chanting "I hope the ghost comes out tonight!" until the hidden child would leap out and chase us all. We all had to make it back to home base (the back porch steps) before being tagged by the "ghost".  If you got tagged, you were the ghost. I was almost never the ghost.  Somehow, it was much more scary to think you were being chased by a ghost, than by Kathy Kroeger or Jackie Kimbrell.  I always think of that game whenever the topic of ghosts comes up. 

Speaking of the dead, what do you recommend we do when our house is haunted? The house has been blessed. I've asked the ghosts to leave in a stern voice. Nothing. In fact, it made them more active. There are at least 3 of them in the house. They haven't done anything to hurt us but they are scary. You can't 'prepare' for it so I'm always caught off guard. They can be seen, heard, smelled (one smokes something that looks like a cigarette but smells like cigar). They make noise. Once, I was on the couch and it sounded like every pot & pan, every dish, everything I owned had crashed in the kitchen. When I ran to the room, nothing was out of place. The person I bought the home from sold it because she was afraid to live there. I thought she was crazy. It's a beautiful home. Too bright and sunny to be haunted. And when you die, you go to hell, purgatory or heaven. There is no 4th choice of hanging around and haunting a house. So what is going on? It doesn't seem evil or demonic.

The underlying question here is, what does the Catholic church have to say about ghosts?

Not much.

Do we believe in the supernatural? Every day. Virtually everything we believe is supernatural. God, Jesus, resurrection, ascension, transubstantiation....if that's not supernatural, what is?

So I've been doing some research for you all on the topic. What does the Catechism say about ghosts? Not a word. But here's a good summation of the overall thought on the subject:

(a ghost is defined as) “a disembodied spirit. Christianity believes that God may, and sometimes does, permit a departed soul to appear in some visible form to people on earth. Allowing for legend and illusion, there is enough authentic evidence, for example in the lives of the saints, to indicate that such apparitions occur. Their purpose may be to teach or warn, or request some favor of the living” (Fr. John A. Hardon, SJ, Modern Catholic Dictionary (Garden City, New York: John A. Hardon, ©1980) published by Doubleday and Co., p. 229).

The problem here is there is a huge difference between an apparition of a saint or a soul from purgatory and some guy who doesn't know he's dead or whatever and also still loves his cigars, even though he no longer has to breath air, with or without smoke in it.

So now we have to take a look at what the Church teaches about the occult which is this:

“All practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one's service and have a supernatural power over others — even if this were for the sake of restoring their health — are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion. These practices are even more to be condemned when accompanied by the intention of harming someone, or when they have recourse to the intervention of demons. Wearing charms is also reprehensible. Spiritism often implies divination or magical practices; the Church for her part warns the faithful against it. Recourse to so-called traditional cures does not justify either the invocation of evil powers or the exploitation of another’s credulity” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2117).

Where does that leave you and your haunted house?  Not every priest would tell you the same thing, but I believe that the general consensus would be that these are not dead people who are stuck in time.  We do  believe that after death a person goes to one of three places, Heaven, Hell or Purgatory and no one is stuck here. If someone does get to pay us a visit after their death it is with God's permission, not to just hang around and puff on cigars and rattle the pans.

So the Church would say demons often don't look demonic. That's a big part of what makes them demonic and the entire reason you are not allowed to try and talk with them. You would be in over your head.  Why do they hang around houses pretending to be Civil War veterans and dead damsels? Maybe because your belief in them would cause you to doubt the Church. Just a thought.

What to you do about it? I don't know. St. Benedict (who had a vision of his twin sister's soul rising to Heaven when she died) is the patron saint of exorcism.  The prayers said during an exorcism are written in code on the back of his medal.   If our readers would like to follow the discussion so far, go back to two posts ago and read the comments, where there has been more on "the haunting".

It Takes a Village of Saints

We have had quite the discussion in the comments section because of a haunted house. I promise we'll discuss the haunted house. But today we have a matter of some urgency.

Hi Sister, who would be the best saint for this whole situation. A sick child that can't communicate where his pain is (autistic), that is having almost daily bouts of awful pain by the look of it and is generally under the weather, doctors that seem not to be taking it seriously enough or don't believe me or are next to useless for whatever reason, long delays in getting to see anyone who could possibly help, or tests done (even with private health care we are still having this problem) and a parent reaching the end of her tether and, sorry to say, almost despairing. I really need some divine help here.

Saints, indeed. But also, some help from a social worker. Isn't bundling the latest thing in technology?  Let's do some bundling and call out:

St. John of God, the patron saint of social workers and nurses. You need some muscle in your corner and autistic advocacy groups can help you get the help you need. The former Secretary of State once reminded us that "It Takes a Village" and was ridiculed for it. But it does take a village.

 I think you should also turn to St. Gemma, a young lady who lived with horrible pain and paralysis for years on end, but who eventually had a miraculous cure. She knows about pain and patience, two things that, oh, so unfortunately, often must go hand in hand. You have to have patience for two, so Gemma is your girl.

And let's not forget St. Joseph Cupertino,  who I believe probably was autistic.  There's a good saint bundle for you.

Let us know how you're doing! And get on the internet and find an advocate in your area.

Together Forever

Since it's Lent and we're not supposed to run around doing the happy dance, I thought this is as good a time as any to talk about what we do with our ashes when they become ashes and our dust is dust again.

Recently my husband and I were discussing the topic of non Catholics being buried in Catholic cemeteries.Is it allowed? I am a convert to the Catholic Church and our children are Catholic. My husband is a non practicing Protestant who comes to church with us occasionally (Christmas and Easter). I want to all be buried together ...after the Lord calls us home....in a Catholic cemetery, which hubby has no objection to if it is allowed. Which brings up a few other questions about the end. Yes, the rest of your family can stay with you, almost no matter what was going on with them. Unless one of your daughters or sons is a famous heretic, they can join you. Technically, even if they weren't famous and they were a heretic, they couldn't come along. I'm just imagining that unless they were famous for being a heretic, how would anyone really know they were a heretic? How can we account for someone's private heretical thoughts? We can't.  I digress. Catholic cemeteries are sacred ground, blessed by the Bishop. There are cases that have to be approved by the Bishop, but generally, we like to keep families together. So while we're on the subject let's talk about a couple of other things that tend to come up. 1. You can be cremated. But your ashes have to be buried, not scattered. Or interred. They have to go in an above ground mausoleum or a below ground in a grave. Your choice. But you can't be in a pendant around someone's neck, flung out to sea, shot into space, or sitting on top of the TV with the St. Clare statue. 2. Once you are a corpse your dead remains have to be treated with respect. They have to be  buried or interred, cremated or not.  They can't be stuffed and perched on your favorite horse who is also stuffed, as Dale Evans once threatened to do with Roy Rogers. (In the end, Trigger was stuffed, but Roy was not.) Or kept in the basement to scare ladies that stay at your motel. 3. It's a great idea to be buried in a Catholic cemetery. The ground is blessed, the other people visiting the grave sites are all on the same page. We're all family here. Canon law dictates that we always preserve the respect for the dead. 4. And finally, people who commit suicide can be buried in a Catholic cemetery. We don't know what is in someone's heart so we can't judge someone who has taken their own life. Unless the person was also a heretic.  I hope that covers everything. It's important that your mortal remains are respected and left undisturbed. Unless you are a saint, ironically. If you're up for canonization, we're going to dig you up to make sure it's really you. Either way, we'll bring flowers.

Meanwhile, in Heaven

Hi Sister - in the spirit of St. Valentine's Day, I have a question about a saint for married men. Of course, St. Joseph immediately sprang to mind, but he seemed happily married! I wonder if there is a saint you could recommend for the following: My sisters and I would like to pray a novena to ask for protection for our father from his second wife. She is nominally a Catholic, but treats him in an unChristian way. He is in his 70s, and in good health, but she is 10 years younger and always calling him old man and talking about assisted living and how the old should not be taking care of the old. We fear for him. He can come live with any of us any time he wants, but as a truly devoted Catholic man (who had a very good marriage with our mother before she passed away), he holds marriage in high esteem and I cannot imagine him ever leaving. (There is much more to the story, but I am leaving the really ugly bits about the second wife out, in case she finds this blog & recognizes.)

There are a few saints that pop into mind. But before we turn to Heaven for help, let's try one important thing. Take your dad out and talk with him. Find out how he actually feels. Does he feel trapped and harassed? Is he miserable and afraid? Because he might not feel the way you do about his situation. And if that's the case you'll have to bow out.

Meanwhile, in Heaven, we have:

Two saints who needed protection: St. Dymphna, whose father came after her because she looked just like her dead mother. When Dymphna ran away, he hunted her down and killed her. 

St. Barbara, also had a father who killed her. He had locked her in a tower to preserve her chastity. The tower had two windows and Barbara had a third window installed to remind herself of the Holy Trinity. Her father was convinced she had it put in so the boys could visit. After he killed her, lightening struck him dead. Because of the tower, she is the patron saint of sailors at sea, and because of the lightening, she is the patron saint against lightening and the patron saint of those people who do those elaborate fireworks displays on the Fourth of July and every day at Disneyland.

The patron saint for bad marriages: St. Rita.  Rita prayed for her husband, but he was a bad egg and was bumped off by the mafia.

St. Monica's husband was no picnic either, but she prayed him and her sin loving son, St. Augustine, into Heaven.

There is some serious speculation that St. Louis IX of France was happy to stay away on Crusades so as not to be home with his wife.

If the situation is dire and threatening, you could all take Mrs. Dad aside and tell her, "We're watching you."

And so is Heaven.

SAINT Valentine's Day

An old friend of mine pointed out that back in the day, in Catholic school, if you said, "Happy Valentine's Day", the nuns would say, "Happy SAINT Valentine's Day".

Actually what he said was, "the old crones would say 'Happy SAINT Valentine's Day'". But I knew to whom he was referring.

I understand, more or less, how St. Valentine, whoever he was or which ever one he was, became the patron saint for lovers (and epilepsy, by the way).  One St. Valentine wrote love letters for someone, one married people in secret who were not allowed to be married by the state. Christians, namely, were not allowed to marry.

And while all of that is lovely, it has rather turned into a day that makes a lot of people sad, or disappointed, while a lot of other people are wallowing in their true love and chocolate.

We complain all the time about the "War on Christmas" (which starts, if WalMart and Target are any indication, the day after Halloween).  All we really mean by that is that Christmas has become too secular, that the birth of Jesus seems to be in the background, somewhere behind the inflatable Santa and the new flat screen TV.

Yoohooo! St. Valentine? You in there?

But the same thing has happened to poor St. Valentine. He is lost under the pile of revealing lingerie, 4 foot teddy bears, boxes of chocolate, roses and massage gift certificates. No matter which St. Valentine we pick, we are actually looking at a man who helped people in need, bringing food and comfort to those in prison, for example.

I think we should take back St. Valentine's day, stop eating cake (it IS Lent, after all), and find something worthwhile to do in the name of love.  A random act of kindness, a donation to a charity, a helping hand, a voice of comfort. No one will be disappointed.

Happy Saint Valentine's Day. From this old crone.

What the Pope Gave Up for Lent

Normally, as soon as I get a moment on Mondays, I write a post. But today is certainly not normal. Our Holy Father has resigned. It is only the second time in the 2013 year history of the Church that this has happened. 

 We've been in shock all day. Usually if anything is going on with the Pope we, meaning we, the public, hear something. I was asked dozens of times if/why/when Pope John Paul II might step down in his waning years. And I always answered, "Popes simply do not do that."

Except for Pope Celestine V.

The strangest part for me, personally, is that I just finished this book yesterday. Yesterday! It's a book about Pope Celestine V, the only man to step down from the Papacy!

Yes, I heard on NPR today, some historian talking about the Pope who stepped down to heal the Great Schism in the 15th century. He doesn't count, as I see it. That was when we had two Popes (three at one point). The Papacy had moved from Rome to Avignon, France and stayed put. Some people wanted the papacy back in Rome and so they got their own Pope in Rome.  The fight went on for years and years. St. Catherine of Siena wrote reams to both Popes, begging them to resolve the issue, for one of them to step down. Finally, in exasperation, someone said, "Okay, neither of you are Pope...we'll have this other fella as the Pope." No one budged and there were three Popes because the third fellow wouldn't step down either. So that's what this man on NPR was talking about. It's really not the same thing.

As this.  And Celestine V.

Peter Morrone, who became Celestine V had been a very charismatic and deeply holy monk who founded monasteries and oratorios and the Celestine order of monks and had many, many followers because he walked the walk.  He wore no shoes and a ragged robe. He lived in a cave by himself,up in the mountains. St. John the Baptist was his hero.

Back then there were only about 12 Cardinals around to elect a Pope.  They'd all go off to some really nice place and take their sweet time because the food and wine was terrific. That's why they finally got locked in a room that they couldn't leave until they elected someone, called a papal conclave.  

This time they dithered for two years,  and still couldn't come up with a good candidate.  How in the world did they come up with the idea of a man who lived far away in a cave? Peter Morrone had written them a letter about their foot dragging and said that their behavior would incur the wrath of God. It caused one of the Cardinals to exclaim that Peter was the best choice.

Then they all traveled over to the cave on the mountain where Peter lived. He refused the robes and the crown and the Vatican. He had his coronation procession on a donkey and lived in a castle of Charles II.  He was Pope for five months. During the five months he became more and more reclusive, eventually building a cell for himself in the basement where he signed anything anyone put in front of him. 

But ironically, two of his papal decrees are still with us. One is that the Pope will be elected by locking the cardinals in a room until they elect somebody. The other, that a Pope should be allowed to abdicate.

And here we are. Celestine explained his resignation citing  the desire for humility, for a purer life, for a stainless conscience, the deficiencies of his own physical strength, his ignorance, the perverseness of the people, his longing for the tranquility of his former life.  

We pray for Pope Benedict XVI.  Pope Celestine V was chased down by his predecessor and locked in a dungeon where he died. He was canonized in 1313.

The Little Big Books of Lent

I must say that the comments and ideas about a new group of Holy Helpers has just been excellent! Keep them coming! Maybe we can have a list by the time Lent starts.

Speaking of which, in an effort to finally be ahead of the curve, I want to give everyone a heads up that Ash Wednesday is next Wednesday. The countdown to Lent begins. Good bye, Ordinary Time.

You don't have to "give up something for Lent".  But you have to give up something for Lent.

You don't have to pick one thing to give up. You can give up things left and right. Take the more difficult path, put in the extra effort--find things that make you uncomfortable. Visiting the sick and infirm and your eyes are watering because the place smells so.....unpleasant? Stay longer. That sort of thing.

So we've gone the extra mile and compiled some of our favorite Lenten advice and admonishments (because what good is a nun if she doesn't scold you a little?) and we have a new set of booklets! We usually sell the booklets separately or as a set, but these four are only sold as a set, as information in one refers to comments in another.

There is advice about what to give up, what not to give up, why we give things up, why we have Mc
Donald's fish sandwiches and what goes on during Holy Week.

We started with LENT, which explains the reason for the season and a guide on giving things up. Then we compiled REVERSE LENT, which explains what not to give up, sort of. It also includes the story of St. Jonas Hubahem, who wins the prize when it comes to suffering. We gathered up the questions we had about all of this for THERE IS NO CASUAL JESUS and finally we walk you through what goes on during HOLY WEEK.

We do it all ourselves, the editting and layout, the printing and collating. We even have a special stapler! It's very long to reach across the page and staple the pages together in the middle without making a wrinkled mess.

Nuns do not like wrinkles, except on faces. And those weird dogs.