Saturday, February 10, 2007
Glorified But No Longer Worshipped, RIP Anna Nicole Smith
We were as shocked as everyone else the other day, while watching CNN to determine the things for which we should pray, to see that Anna Nicole Smith had expired. May God have mercy on her soul.
We were also shocked to realize that we knew who she was, since there really isn't any reason we should know who she was. May she rest in peace.
We knew enough about her to know that we should put the repose of her soul at the top of our prayer list. It doesn't seem to either of us that she was prepared for any type of reconciliation with God. She wasn't even wearing a scapular. Poor thing.
We didn't have to watch CNN very long to see quite a number of pictures of Anna Nicole Smith, each looking very different from one another. I could feel Sister St. Aloysius squirming on the couch next to me. I knew she was about to blurt out another one of her theological brain twisters.
Always one to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, Sister St. Aloysius suddenly asked, "What will she look like in heaven?"
"That's a big assumption," I thought to myself. I'll have to confess that. I mean in a confessional, as a sin.
I knew Sister St. Aloysius was referring to the glorified body of Anna Nicole Smith.
It is the teaching of the Church that when you die, your soul goes wherever it's going to go. (Most of us pretty much have a guarantee of a stop in Purgatory. I know I'll be there. I just hope there are still enough practicing Catholics left in the world to help pray me out, as I will be there quite a while.) Then at the end of time you are reunited with your body in heaven (or hell).
It's your body you are reunited with, the one on your driver's license, not the one you lie about to your doctor and at the class reunion. I think, by the way, that this should be a very good motivation to get in shape NOW. This is eternity we're talking about.
Now St. Augustine surmised that you would be at your peak in heaven. He thinks around age 35. So if you die before 35, you'll turn 35 in heaven. If you're 92, you'll roll back to 35.
Works for me!
The hippies are probably 'bummed out'.
If you are missing parts of your body, you'll get them back in heaven, so they can experience the fullness of the ecstasy of heaven. Maybe not your appendix. You didn't need that here, either. You'll also get them back in hell, because you won't miss out on any part to be subject to agony. I'm sure you'll have your appendix back in hell.
The sum of all of this, your body in heaven, is called the 'glorified' body.
Which brings us to Miss Smith. She has a couple of parts she won't get back anywhere. She would get to shave four years off her age. That would seemingly bring her a little ecstasy. Not in pill form. But if St. Augustine is correct she may go back to the body she had before she became a spokesperson for some diet drink or food or whatever it was. We know Dan Marino will look good in heaven.
I'm sure we'll all look our best in heaven, which for me isn't much of a step up. But we won't care in heaven. Which is part of what makes it heaven.