Sidney Poitier has not yet arrived to help us in the garden or drive us to Mass, so we're soldiering on on our own. The worst of the actual work of tearing things out and trimming things back and cutting things down is over. I even got through almost all of the weeding.
So I wasn't expecting further injury from the attack rose bush. I should have known better.
I understand that the rose is called "Joseph's Coat" because the flowers go through so many changes in color. The flowers bloom in clusters so there are always flowers in one of the stages, so all of the colors are happening at the same time. I would have thought that the person who named the plant would have no small amount of experience with it and named it something with a more appropriate warning. "The Devil Wears Prada", perhaps.
I was weeding near the base of the plant in my 'Lilies of the Field' work clothes and straw hat, throwing the weeds in a pile to my left and somehow, on the back swing, my hand got too close to the Joseph's Coat. My index finger snagged on one of it's giant thorns, but my hand was in motion. I ripped a large tear down the side of my finger.
I did not swear.
It wasn't a deep gash and I was on a roll so I kept right on working. A couple of minutes later I looked back at my finger. The wound was packed full of dirt. I'm not one to wear gloves, even with my "Lilies of the Field" get up. Anyhow, I thought I'd better wash my finger.
I soaked and scrubbed. The dirt stayed in there.
I had given myself a dirt tattoo.
Which brings me to this reader's question:
How are tattoos accepted? I wanted to get a tattoo of a scapular, but i dont know how to go about doing so. There are many regulations which come with scapulars which is making this more and more difficult i have found.
As far as I can tell the church has made no official pronouncement about tattoos. Obviously, a naked anything is out of the question. One of my favorite basketball players has a tattoo of his mother on his arm. She's still wearing her big square glasses from years ago. I'm sure she's delighted to wear them for years to come. On his arm. But I digress.
This scapular thing is a bone headed idea on so many levels.
It is my personal view that God doesn't like tattoos. This is not a personal revelation from God to me. It is my closely held opinion. Why? Because the body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit.
Tattoos are graffiti on the Temple of the Holy Spirit.
And on top of that you want a scapular! First read this: What Brown Can Do For You.
So let me get this straight. You're going to tattoo a scapular onto yourself, thus skirting the even minimal act of wearing one and the awareness of being deserving of heaven that might bring. You're going to run down to Inky's Tattoo Barn and burn one into your flesh like you're at the Lazy "C" Catholic Ranch and forget about it, except for questioning eyes at the beach. "What are they staring at?" you'll think to yourself. "Oh yeah, my scapular tattoo!" Then you'll dance off in your string bikini.
How happy this must make Our Blessed Mother! All mothers love it when their children run out and get a tattoo, after all. The Blessed Mother, the very symbol of purity, must be overjoyed.
The real question here is, should you really not deserve heaven in the final wash, how is God going to get that thing off of you? Because He is going to get it off you.
A scapular, by the way, is worn both front and back, so getting it off you stands to be really gruesome.
My advice: Don't do it. If you insist on doodling on the library book that is your body, just scribble " WWJD" on there. Maybe it will remind you not to get any more tattoos.