Three Steps Back

Our readers have asked about the progress on our garden. We've had a set back.

The garden area is in two parts: a small plot which is nothing but plants and a little deck area of equal size. While we cleaned the garden part out, the deck area has been pile with debris. We were ready to clean the deck area when disaster struck.

First, we didn't get to start in on it because on Friday we had to rush Sister Mary Fiacre to the doctor. She was refusing food. Sister Mary Fiacre may not be aware of much, but she is aware of meal time, snack time and whatever else anyone is eating around her. Anytime she seems a little uncomfortable or somewhat unhappy we need only crack out some marshmallows or a cookie or one of those Little Debbie Snack Cakes and her cheery disposition returns. At this point I am sure she is onto us and puts on a sad face when she craves Girl Scout cookies.

She had a little bug, it turns out, and is back to her voracious self, turning the corner by Sunday evening in time for some home made fried chicken and gravy that Mrs. Gott brought by. Mrs. Gott had plotted to snap Sister Mary Fiacre out of it and her plan was a success.

Meanwhile when we returned on Friday evening from our waiting room Limbo.....limbo does exist it turns out. To find it you just bring someone to their doctor after the nurse on the phone tells you to come on down and they'll 'work you in'. We racked up some Purgatory points over there, let me tell you. Here's a flash: all the marriages in "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" are saved. The answer is always, "Yes." Thank you, Ladies Home Journal.

Anyhow, as I was preparing for bed on Friday evening I could hear water running in the pipes when no water was on. Fearing the worst, we spent the weekend turning all the water off after each use. Who knew we used that much water? I have a smudge on my habit from crawling under the deck to turn the valve.

On Monday, the plumber ascertained that the hot water heater is shot. This is a major expense and not something we can manage right away.

I am rethinking the fires of Hell, by the way. Icy water could be down there. It's very unpleasant. Ask the people who leaped off the Titantic.

We should have the new hot water heater in a short while. But we have to clean out the side of the house for the old heater to be carried out and the new one to come in. Some sort of exotic palm like thing has rooted itself in there, taking up the entire space. Of course it is also cover in........soap opera sting music SFX (thank you Hollywood)....morning glory. There is also a giant rubber tree in there and it's giant leaves fall off every day. They are at least knee deep. The plumber was shorter than me, so he may disappear altogether in the rubber tree leaves.

Sister St. Aloysius dug right in. By mid morning she had found Jane Goodall and a chimpanzee colony. I read recently that there are only 750 gorillas left in the world. I'm sure we can make that 751 by tomorrow.

Maybe we'll finally find Jimmy Hoffa.

Thank goodness neither of us is afraid of spiders. You can't live in this house and be afraid of spiders.

So the deck is a hopeless mess. I take that back. Hopelessness is a sin. The deck will take a lot of work, should we ever see it again.

The final blow came just a few minutes ago. We have beautiful yellow calla lilies as a focal point in the middle of the garden. Teddy and his little friend Romeo smashed them flat. Flat! I don't know why they did it. Trying to escape the gorilla, no doubt. Or playing with Jimmy Hoffa.