Friday, March 14, 2008
Happy Fake St. Patrick's Day!
Can you post your "Sins of the New Millennium". We would love to see it.
I'm not sure what I did with my list. But I invite you to help me compile a new one.
Here are my top picks:
Cell Phones Most of the Time. You may think that excessive cell phone use is merely bad manners. I beg to differ. If you are with me, but you are talking your phone you are pretending that I am not there and that you are alone and free to talk, that goes a little beyond bad manners. This isn't a 'what would Jesus do?" question. This is the reverse. Pretend I'm Jesus. Still feel like finding out what's for dinner?
That Woman on the Food Network Who Cooks Southern Food. My mother likes to watch cooking shows and her soap opera. The other day we were watching this southern lady make fried macaroni and cheese. I am so sorry I am not kidding. She had made a big pan of macaroni and cheese and left it in the refrigerator over night. Then she cut a big fat square of it. Next she took a big thick and wide piece of bacon and wrapped it around the macaroni and cheese square. I can't remember if she dipped that in egg before rolling it in some sort of breading. I was getting queasy. I understand when people are having a heart attack they may also feel a little nauseous. Finally, she dropped the big fat bacon wrapped brick of cheese and pasta with egg (maybe) and bread crumbs (or corn flakes or crackers or something) into a big fat vat of boiling oil. I think she said it was peanut oil. Whatever the most fattening kind of oil there could possibly be, that's what was used to deep fry the heart attack brick.
That's just a sin. It just has to be. Unless instead of calling it "Deep Fried Macaroni and Cheese" she called it "Heart Attack Bricks". Maybe being honest about it would lift it from the realm of sin.
Certain Uses for Tiny Cameras.Last night on the news there was a story about a man who was acquitted of the crime of taking a camera and taking pictures unbeknownst to the sixteen year old girl whose skirt he took pictures under. He wasn't acquitted because he was innocent of sneakily taking pictures up the skirt of a teenage girl without her knowledge. He was acquitted because it is not a crime to sneakily take pictures up some one's skirt, even if they haven't said you can. I'm guessing that since this is really a brand new problem because, not only the invention of tiny cameras, but the availability of them to people beyond CIA agents, the law has not caught up to the technology.
It may not be a crime. (YET) But it is most definitely a sin.
I'm pretty sure this one was on my old list: Reality TV. Other people's problems and pain are not fodder for our entertainment.
Not even those predator guys. Go ahead and set up a house and catch them all. But don't show their shame to me so that I can sit in judgement and laugh at how stupid they look, now that they were caught red handed.
To this I would add: Nancy Grace. Miss Grace, you are not the judge and jury. Don't let Miss Grace make you the judge and jury.
And finally: Grill Work. Not on your car. On your teeth. Also
called 'bling'. This is when you have some diamond braces made for your teeth. Take that money and buy some mosquito netting for the children of Africa so they don't keep getting malaria. Send that money to the retired nuns. Hand it out to homeless guys on skid row. Anything but stick it across your teeth.
Worse yet, while I was at the drugstore picking up my mother's prescriptions, I saw CANDY GRILL WORK. Attaching candy to your children's teeth has got to be a sin.
I'm sure every single one of you has some ideas of other things that should be on our list. Post them in the comments and we can compile this year's list.