Dust Up

We dust the pews on Saturday mornings. Now for a little blog dusting.

Sister, why would we not eat in heaven? We'll have a real body. And Jesus ate after he was resurrected (to prove he wasn't a ghost, I've heard). Where would "no eating in heaven" come from?

It comes from St. Augustine, who made educated guesses about what we'll be like in heaven based on how Jesus looked and behaved after His resurrection. Jesus ate, but He didn't have to eat. He could knock on the door or He could just show up on the other side of it.

So I suppose you could eat in heaven. But you won't have to eat. You'll have your body. The one you have now ( by the way, a really good impetus to get in shape now, should you keel over tomorrow.) Don't worry if you are old and decrepit. St. Augustine thinks you'll be 35 in heaven, as that is when you are the most physically perfect. None of the things that have to work now will have to work in heaven. Your heart won't have to beat, your digestive system will be out of business. That right there makes me think eating won't be a good plan in heaven.

Here's a scientific, sort of, explanation.

These are all just guesses, though. I think they are good guesses. Go ahead and make a heavenly pig of yourself if you like.

This brings us back to the animals in heaven argument, of which I will never let go. As you know (I hope), I am of the persuasion that animals, who do not possess an immortal soul or the consciousness to choose right from wrong, will not be in heaven. The food situation is just another point in my favor. If you get to have your favorite food, why wouldn't the heavenly lion get to have a nice fat fawn? And what if you want steak in heaven? Is it just pretend steak, like in the Matrix?

Get a grip. Heaven is about being one with God, not sewing circles and cocktails.

would it be legit for me to pray to my sister? Bear with me... She died when she was four and she was mentally handicapped. Before the age of reason + baptism + mental handicap = free pass to heaven, right? So can I ask for her intercession? Or is that not the done thing...

That's not a done thing, even though we believe it is indeed a free pass to heaven. No one's going to stop you. (People are still praying to St. Christopher and St. Philomena and they didn't even exist.) The reason is because, since we really don't know what goes on in heaven exactly, we wait for proof (those pesky miracles) before we go around pestering for intercessions.

I'm sure your sister is in heaven. She's 35 now.

Sister, I have a question about the sacrament of reconciliation. I was baptized last March through the RCIA, so I never needed to go to confession prior. But I now feel the need to do some penance for my sins, but am not sure how to start. I know that the kids in the catholic schools go through some preparation before their first confession. Do I have to do something like that? Is there a big deal about your "first time" - even if you've already been confirmed, etc?

Really? I'm surprised to hear it. I would have thought that you would have gone through all the sacraments in their proper order, just as any young child would, just in a condensed form. What do I know? Not much.

There is no" big deal" about your first confession. I assume you mean is there some type of ceremony involved. No. You just have to examine your conscious and show up. People have all kinds of ways they prepare. They make lists that they take with them sometimes. They go through the Ten Commandments as a guide to see where they may have transgressed. I like this list.

I have shown this list many times with the same response: you can't get through a couple of hours without sinning. Here's more on confession.

PS - Do you have a patron saint/bracelet for teachers? Couldn't find anything on Etsy. Thanks!

I do. St. Thomas Aquinas, patron saint of teachers, students, pencil makers and people who struggle with their weight, is now available.

Hello Sister, would St John of God be a good Saint for me. I am 51 and still have not found 'my way' in life and ministry. I can't be a nun because I am married with 3 children. And I have never seemed to find my 'vocation'.

Yes, you have. It's called "mom". In which case, your patron saint would be St. Ann, mother of Mary. Are your children teenagers? Then it's St. Monica, patron saint of mothers of teens, as she had quite a handful with her son St. Augustine who, before he became a Doctor of the Church, earned himself the patronage of beer drinkers and party animals.

It could be that you just need a hobby you enjoy, in which case I'd go with St. Rose of Lima. Her parents were hoping that she was their ticket to easy street when their gorgeous daughter married a wealthy young man. St. Rose would have had her pick of the lot. Instead, she rubbed pepper in her face to keep the men at bay and moved out into the backyard. She felt bad that she wasn't pulling her weight and was such a financial disappointment to the family, so she made things and sold them around town.

I think patron saints are like movies and favorite songs. You can't have just one. You may have a special devotion, but there is always a problem and a saint to go with it. You don't need to limit yourself. What's my favorite movie? Any good one that I'm watching. What's my favorite song? Anything that's lifting my spirit at the moment.

Not "Deeeea--ahha-veee- e- ooo-o- r- rah cee -e -ee." Never that song. And to think she also did "Stand by Your Man".