Saints Apps

Hi Sister Mary Martha,

I've followed your blog for quite some time but I don't recall hearing about the saint for the colon ("guts") or intestines. My sister-in-law's sister-in-law has lived with a colostomy bag for years. Recently the dear lady (who is a kindergarten teacher) had to go in for maintenance and cleaning of the opening. She was terrified of this and the worst did occur as now she is filled with infection and they are unable to put everything back in that needs to go in. My sister-in-law is interested in becoming a Catholic--so if we could provide her with a patron saint to help with this difficulty that would be great for her and her sister-in-law. I hope this wasn't too confusing!
Thank you, Linda

I should never check my comments section after lunch.

The poor dear! Where are the things that are out that are supposed to go back in now? I can't imagine. What an awful situation.

But of course, we have a saint for that. I suppose I should have T-shirts made up that say, "Got Saint?"

St. Charles Borromeo is your below the waistline man. He's the patron saint for anything that might be ailing you down south. I don't know why. I have an educated guess.

Charles' uncle was Pope Pius IV. Martin Luther and King Henry VIII had forever changed Christiandom. The clergy was still in disarray, the Council of Trent had been suspended. The Pope called his nephew to Rome to help iron things out and Charles worked tirelessly to convince everyone to reconvene the Council. The result is known as "the Reformation".

Before I try to explain why I think St. Charles is the patron saint for guts, let me explain what he had to do after the Council of Trent addressed all the problems of the Protestant revolt.

He invented Sunday school. That's right! He realized he had to get everyone on the same page and it would be very helpful if children understood their Faith from an early age. He rewrote books and catechisms and set up study groups. And then he had to tackle the miscreant clergy. He spent the rest of his life at it.

And here's where my theory begins. The miscreant clergy were happy to stay right where they were, doing just what they were doing. Charles had to travel all over and talk and threaten and give them the what for. In Switzerland, one order barricaded themselves in their monastery with guns and when Charles showed up they shot the crucifix right out of his hand. He had to fix their wagon. He had to clean their clock.

And eventually, there was a plot to assassinate him. The gunman shot him in the back while he was praying in church. Charles thought himself a goner, but he instructed everyone to go on praying. As it turned out, however, the bullet was stopped by his heavy priestly robes where it penetrated all the way down to his skin, leaving a raised mark that never left him.

And what to they call that kind of bravery? Intenstinal fortitude.

Or...

Perhaps always having to confront people who were sure to put up a big stink was enough to give anybody a stomach ache.

Or...

It has something to do with the miracles associated with his canonization. I haven't turned up anything like that, though.

St. Charles is an extra good patron saint for your sister in law's sister in law, because he was so good at bringing people back to the Church and educating them in the Faith. A perfect saint match!

Sister St. Aloysius is prodding me to also mention that St. Charles Borromeo was the person that administered First Holy Communion to St. Aloysius when little Luigi (who became St. Aloysius) was twelve years old.

And before we part today, I'd like to commend you on knowing the intimate details of your sister in law's sister in law. You must have a wonderful, caring extended family.