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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ho ho ho

We've just had such a jolly time!  The Christmas concert at school went off without a hitch. Well...almost without a hitch.  A nervous second grader forgot to tell anyone he needed to use the facility.  Everyone was wearing green on the bottom and red on the top, so the loss of his pants would have made him stand out like a sore thumb.  Did I just say that?  You know what I mean. Where were we going to get pants, let alone green pants? 

The happy news is that we live in earthquake country.  I'm sure the poor child was hoping a huge earthquake would occur and end his misery, but the spectre of earthquakes is what saved the child.  Every child has to keep an emergency earthquake kit at school complete with juice box, water, a snack and a full change of clothes (shoes, too!).  He had some camouflage pants in there!  Green enough!

Hi Sister Mary Martha!

Would you happen to know the patron saint of Bishops, Dioceses, or priests? The Bishop of my Dioceses seems to have a strong disliking for my parish...he didn't even come when we got our first class relic on our Saint's Feast Day! I'd like a Saint that I can ask to pray for him to soften his heart toward our parish and stop dumping on us. I'd really like to keep our current priests longer than a year.

Thank you very much,

Speaking of green...

The actual patron saint of bishops is good old St. Patrick.  He was pretty special, as bishops go.

But for you, I'm going to suggest good old St. Nick.  He was also a very special bishop and I think the man of the hour as a person who was known to have a soft spot for children and people in need.  He ended up being Santa Claus, for goodness sake!

The two stories associated with St. Nicholas that turned him into Santa Claus are the story of the girls who needed a dowry and the story of the children who were murdered and thrown into a pickle barrel.

When St. Nicholas found out that three daughters could not marry because they had no dowry, he anonymously tossed a bag of gold into their window at night.

Ho, ho, ho.

Then on his travels, he stopped at a inn where the innkeeper had murdered three (the number varies from two boys, a boy and a girl and three boys) children and hid the bodies in the pickle barrel. St. Nick pulled them out and brought them back to life.  As a result, we hang a pickle ornament on the Christmas tree, hidden in the branches, and the lucky child who finds the Christmas pickle gets a prize.  If they are German, that is, because I think only Germans have Christmas pickles.  Or people who know Germans.

So isn't that what you really need?  Someone who'll toss you some money and rescue you from the the pickle barrel?

Meanwhile, I wouldn't assume that the bishop has it in for you.  We don't get to assume people's motivations.  It could be that your poor bishop is doing the best he can with what he has, which isn't much these days.  Whatever would make you think he doesn't like your parish? What possible motivation could he have for disliking an area and the people in it? Did your parishioners beat him as a child?  Did someone wish him into the cornfield? Could he never find the Christmas pickle?

Maybe when you got your first class relics he had more pressing problems to attend.  You can pretty much count on the fact that if he had gone to your first class relic installation, there would have been a bunch of people somewhere else complaining about what he didn't come to over there. That's how that works.

Perhaps a patron saint of not liking the bishop is in order.  I recommend St. Thomas More. He had a parishioner who didn't like him very much.


Lauren said...

Thank you!

ArchAngel's Advocate said...

I think you meant Thomas of Canterbury (AKA Thomas à Becket). Thomas More was a layman.

Sister Mary Martha said...

You are correct! I did mean Thomas Becket. Too much egg nog.

Anonymous said...

r u really a catholic nun? what on earth is that teenage blog you follow? something about 19 and 2kids? I hate to accuse, but you may have some explaining to do, possibly?

Sister Mary Martha said...

Is it actually so hard to understand that I would take an interest in a struggling young woman?

denver religious orgnizations said...

We are now on the brink of a much deeper philosophical debate that is not for this article but to broadly respond to the question some religions were spread by peaceful persuasion and dialogue others were imposed by conquest.

Sheila said...

Merry Christmas sister!
I thoroughly enjoy your blog: keep up the great work! I have a question I hope you can answer: I heard of a saint who prayed for a paralyzed priest to be able to leave his wheelchair. He was never cured and Jesus appeared to the saint and explained that if the priest had been able to leave his wheelchair he would have sinned gravely and doomed to spend eternity in Hell. Would you know the name of this saint and/or any further information regarding this story? Thanks so much for your help,

Theresa said...

Great Bishop advice, Sister!! May I add a few more?

1) Saint SIMON OF JERUSALEM - He was a "brother" to the Lord and the 2nd bishop of Jerusalem.
His Feast Day is April 27.
Matthew 13:55

2) Saints HERODION, ASYNCRITUS, and PHLEGON - They were very early Christians who lived in Rome and were greeted in Paul's Letter to the Romans. It is claimed that Herodion became the bishop of Tarsus (Turkey), Asyncritus became bishop of Hyrcania (near the Caspian Sea), and Phlegon was the bishop of Marathon (Greece).
Their Feast Day is April 8.
Romans 16:11a, 14a

Rather obscure and largely unknown saints, but intriguing just the same!!

p.s. December 28 is the Feast of the Holy Innocents. Love those little guys!

Anonymous said...

No, I think you certainly would be interesed struggling young woman. I I hope you have given her some of your good advice, and of course prayers.
Anon the first, Catholic nun or not Sister Mary Martha is the best Sister I listen to!
You are a rare gift to us who follow you and enjoy you.
God be with us all,

Anonymous said...

What do you think of "The Last Temptation of Christ" and "Cruisin'"?