We're having a run on patron saint questions so hold onto your hats if you've asked one. We'll get to it. Since I actually tripped over my own foot and fell all the way to the floor the other day, I thought I'd kick off (you should pardon the pun) with this one.
(I'm fine, by the way. If I wasn't fine I'd offer it up. I did stay on all fours for a moment or two assessing if there was any damage. And since no one saw me, I didn't have to offer up the indignity, either.)
Which saints were clumsy? I know of one, whose name was Joseph of Copertino, but he was intellectually challenged.
Yes, he was clumsy, among other things. I'll bet he was on the autism "spectrum". But he could fly.
I'm assuming that you're looking for a patron saint for clumsiness because you feel you are clumsy. Or know someone who is two left feet challenged. But instead of looking for someone in Heaven who was similarly blessed here on this early coil (which would trip up anyone), how about someone to guard you against clumsiness, the way St. Barbara guards against lightening?
I offer for your consideration an old favorite of mine, St. Christina the Astonishing. Christina died a young girl and everyone was so sad. The church was crowded for her funeral, during which she suddenly sat up. Since her return trip from the great beyond, everyone smelled rotten to her and after she sat up, she flew up into the church rafters.
This upset everyone and they fled the proceedings. Christina's sister stayed behind with the parish priest to try and talk her down. She spent the rest of her days balancing on rooftops and fences and climbing up trees, among other things.
I'd say that was pretty surefooted, wouldn't you?
By the way, remember our discussion from the other day where a reader was asking about how come we never hear of anyone who had a near death experience having gone to Purgatory? I beg to differ.
Quoting St. Christina the Astonishing:
"As soon as my soul was separated from my body it was received by angels who conducted it to a very gloomy place, entirely filled with souls" where the torments there that they endured "appeared so excessive" that it was "impossible to give an idea of their rigor." And more:
Christina lived to the ripe old age of 74, more remarkable when you consider that she spent her whole life on rooftops and trees, flinging herself into furnaces and plunging herself into icy waters and letting dogs chase her through the woods and rip at her flesh. She always came out untouched, unburned and unbloody. Like Wolverine in the X-men.
I think she makes a great protector for you! And if you do fall...offer it up!