Lent 2011

With Lent coming soon, I need something to post by my computer to remind me to "try to be good" to paraphrase the title of a Sanford Phippen book  from Maine.


I've been thinking about Lent, too.  It's just around the corner!  We have just about a week to get it together and figure out what we're going to give up.

I'm really torn this year, as I would like to give up sweets.  It would be a huge sacrifice for me, as I have quite the sweet tooth, or, what's left of a sweet tooth after all that sugar.  If I don't want St. Apollonia as my new patron saint, I'll have to do something about my intake of corn syrup.


But... I don't believe in giving up something for Lent that you need to do anyhow.  Want to quit smoking and go on a diet?  Do it on your own time.  This season is about you and God, not about you and your waist size. At the end of Lent, you should be saying, "Wow, I have a much closer relationship with God now!"  Not, "Wow, look how great I look in these jeans!  Thank you, God!"


So, if I do give up sugar, I'll have to just do that and find something else to give up.  That will make it an extra difficult Lent.  Won't I be a joy to be around?  I'll have to be a joy to be around, anyhow.  It doesn't do any good to give something up and then go around acting like a bear being poked with a stick.  That's the whole trick to Lent.


So perhaps for your computer screen you should put on there, "Be joyful!"  This won't work unless you've done something that makes you suffer, though.  If you're one of the Kum By Yah Lenters,  you'll have to take another tactic.

"Be Good" is a rather vague, if not impossible, statement.  Come on, Lent is all about digging deeper.  You're going to have to at least take a stab at determining what exactly would make you a better person.  Again, this isn't about your nail biting habit.  What's the one big change you could stand to make?


And then, what steps do you have to take to make that change?  Need to be more charitable? You don't have to become St. Francis of Assisi overnight. But you can examine how you can be more charitable each day.  Perhaps your computer screen could say, "Got Charity?"


Maybe you should make a list of things that could go on there and change them every few days or so:


Eat Humble Pie


Stop Talking


Speak Up


Go the Extra Mile


Find More Gratitude


Wear Unattractive Clothes This Week


Give Some Things Away


Go to Confession


Put Yourself Last


You get the idea.  You can tailor your list to your own shortcomings.  I'm sure our readers have some thoughts on the subject.


Again, I'm all for the old "give something up". Make it count.


Good Egg is from Paloma's Nest

The Plate Act

Dear Sister,

Can you advise me on how to grow in virtue? Are there any books on the subject that you recommend?

Thank you and God bless, Jenna


Well, that's a big bite to try and swallow. Certainly, there are smarter and more virtuous people than me to tackle this one. St. Thomas Aquinas springs to mind.

He's hard to read, really, for most of us.  I admit that in all humility, one of the seven Heavenly Virtues. Here's your check list:
1. Chastity
2. Temperance,
3. Charity
4. Diligence  (you're going to need that to do the other six)
5. Patience
6. Kindness
7. Humility


So, to be more virtuous, all you have to do is be chaste and pure according to your station in life, achieve balance in your dealings and mental state, give generously of your love, talent and goods, work hard at everything you do, give everyone else a break, treat everyone with kindness and stay humble, especially when you become perfect from doing all of this.


Did that help?

I'm joking.  It can all seem overwhelming.  Rather like you're always doing that plate juggling act.  Remember that?  The juggler has a line of poles, he spins a plate on the top of the first pole, the second the third, the fourth and by then the plate on the first pole is slowing, so he runs back and spins it again and then runs over to the fifth pole and puts a plate up there but by now the second and third plates are slowing so he runs back.....


I feel his pain. 


It's a lot to try to do a whole plate act right off the bat.  I'm sure the juggler just starts with one.  I'd go with humility.  Once you've got that one spinning, the rest are not so hard. If you can just keep three plates going, you'll be well on your way to have all seven spinning merrily away. To practice, do this:


1. Say thank you.  To everyone for everything (God too!) all the time.
2. Say I'm sorry, frequently, whether it's because you have erred or because you feel empathy with the pain of others..
3. Say I love you.


Before you know it, you'll be able to balance a chair on your head with your Grandma in it while you spin those plates.  Let me know when that happens. I'd love to see it.

Pagan Baby Reunion II

Sister: I have a question. What ever happened to pagan babies? I bought 2 when I was 8 &9 respectively. I saved my pennies until I had enough money to buy a baby. We would put our pennies and sometimes nickels in a milk carton kind of thing, with a slot for money. I named one of mine Elvis Joseph, and the other was named Connie Frances. They were born around 1957 or 1958. Can you check the missions in Africa and see what Elvis and Connie are up to. Can we still adopt babies?

You, personally?  We had to pool our money together, the whole classroom until we saved up the $5 to send to the missions to buy our pagan baby.  And you got to name them yourself?  We took a vote with the whole room.  How did you get away with naming your pagan babies after people in show business?  We always picked a good saint's name so our pagan babies would have that heavenly help.  I suppose you did slide a couple of saints in there. But clearly, you were more interested in the singers than the saints.


We forgive you. You were nine.


Although you were past the age of reason (seven).


I don't have the addresses of the "missions in Africa".  After we purchased our pagan babies and gave them a name, all we got was a certificate to hang in the front of the classroom.  In my first grade room, our certificates lined the front of the the blackboard like laundry on the line.  By the time I was in the fifth grade, the pagan baby program had gone the was of the Boy Saviour Club.


Because of the Boy Saviour Club I learned "Robert's Rules" in the second grade.  You just can't beat a Catholic education!


You'll never know what became of little Elvis and little Connie.  Let's pray that the baptism and Catholic upbringing you made possible helped them to live good lives, avoid Las Vegas and looking for where the boys are and get past the embarrassment of going through life with those names.

Swiss Army Phone

Hello Sister! 
today at work i overheard someone talking about a "confession app" for what i assume is some kind of portable electronic device.

have you heard of this? what do you think of it? i was shocked and dismayed. you can't go to confession over the internet, and you definitely cant do it just to your phone!!!


I'm shocked and dismayed at your lack of use of capital letters.


For those of you who are too lazy to just do a quick Google search of this new fangled way of approaching the Holy Sacrament of Reconciliation, let me first assure you that you can't phone in your confession. That's not what this does.


This is a application for your very fancy phone (that you could maybe do with a little less phone fanciness and offer it up to the Poor Souls in Purgatory or give the money you save by having something very basic to the Poor Souls on Earth) is a confession tool, meaning, it helps you prepare for making a good confession.


It lists the Ten Commandments, for example,  and asks questions about ways in which you may have broken them so you can figure out how you've sinned.  To which some people might respond, "I don't want my phone to tell me how I've sinned."  And to which we must reply, "As long as someone or something does, we're okay with it."


I really don't see a problem with it, except for the waste of money it is.

But then I don't understand why people join gyms.  That costs a lot of money and all you really need to do is find a nice flight of stairs and climb up and down them. Remember how Rocky didn't have any money? Upper body work? Carry something over your head. 


Walk down the street, jog. The weather's bad? Get on your living room floor and do some sit ups and push ups. Run in place in the garage. Make the kids lie stiffly and pick them up like dumb bells.


I am not calling your children dumb bells.  I am just suggesting they act like dumb bells.


That didn't help did it?


My point is, that you don't need this on your phone, as the tools that are in the app are already available on the internet, in books and in pamphlets. 

All you really need is a pencil and paper, then, to jot things down. Including your Penance after you're done applying your apps.


There is also a whole thing on there about how to go about making your confession. The "Bless Me, Father for I Have Sinned" drill.  You won't need that once you've done it a couple of time.


There are several versions of the "Act of Contrition" on there. Hooray! Pick one and memorize it.


Remember memorizing things?  Do you know anyone's phone number anymore?  If the answer is no, memorize some. Because some day, your fancy device will break or be beyond reach or drop in the dishwater and there you'll be, unable to call a soul.  


Don't make yourself so helpless!  These devices that make our lives so much easier can also make us oddly helpless.


The verdict: Useful, but not necessary.  Unlike Confession.

A Little I Love You

Happy St. Valentine's Day!


Notice I added the "Saint" part.  I think we should start doing that again, as a reminder that the day, dedicated to people in love and loving in general and letting people know we love them, isn't about the balloons that express the sentiment.  I haven't heard anyone complain about the "War on St. Valentine", either.  


Try as we may to control the way the human race responds to the stimulus around it, things go awry. St. Valentine's Day is yet another one of those holidays that the Catholic Church brilliantly grabbed and turned holy.  Until the 5th century, people enjoyed  Lupercalia, a fun fest that involved ritual animal sacrifice. The skins of the animals were they taken up by young men in goat who ran through the streets, slapping women with them.  What fun!  It was all about fertility, gods and superstition.


Pope Julius I finally put the kaboosh on that mess, substituting good St. Valentine. (Or, at least, some St. Valentine. We're not sure which one he had in mind.)


And here we are with roses, chocolate roses, little candies with all manner of messages, balloons, diamonds at the bottom of champagne glasses and moms struggling to make sure they have enough little paper valentines for each child in each class of each of her children. Yikes!


It's a lot of pressure.  St. Valentine feels your pain. He was under a lot of pressure, too, what with being a martyr and all.


I do embrace the little winter holiday of pink cupcakes and "I Love You".  As long as the "I love you" part is prominent, there is no down side.

Groundhog Crepes

What's today? Groundhog day!  The Groundhog did not see his shadow, which is excellent news for people in places like Chicago today.  On Monday I looked at this week's "extended forecast" for Chicago, which read: Monday, Snow; Tuesday, Snow/Wind; Wednesday/Blizzard.


We all know about the groundhog. Funny. I have yet to hear anyone complain about the War on Candlemas. You'd think the War on Christmas crowd would be all over this one.  I have heard that PETA protests every year. The groundhog looks fine to me.


What's today? Candlemas!  Why do we even have Groundhog day? Because of Candlemas! When we light the candles for the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple it may or may not cast a shadow on the hedgehog, according to the Germans, and if the hedgehog sees his shadow, he gets frightened and burrows back underground, thus signaling six more weeks of winter.  Guess where these people settled in America?  If you guessed "Pennsylvania", Grover Groundhog will give you a dollar. (Less than ten people in the whole world might catch that reference to Grover's famous line to Mandrake, the hunting dog of Porky Pig. Thank the Lord for blogs where one can relieve the brain of these burdens.)


Those crazy Germans.  First the Christmas pickle and now this.

It's a lovely feast day. Mary and Joseph bring the Baby Jesus to the Temple, Mary for purification forty days after childbirth.  They bring the poor man's sacrifice of two turtle doves and on the way in they encounter Simeon. He mentions that God promised him that he would live to see the Messiah.  The celebration (the fourth Joyful Mystery of the Rosary) focuses on Simeon's remarks:

Now you are releasing your servant, Master, according to your word, in peace; for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared before the face of all peoples; a light for revelation to the nations, and the glory of your people Israel  (Luke 2:29-32).

Simeon then prophesied to Mary: "Behold, this child is set for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and for a sign which is spoken against. Yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul, that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed" (Luke 2:34-35).

The "light to the nations" part is why we have Candlemas, a day we celebrate Jesus' first entrance into His Father's House, blessing the candles we will use all year long.

And unfortunately, adding superstitions as we go.  

Groundhogs.  

Pennies.

St. Aloysius is thrilled to have found Catholic Cuisine and I'm thrilled that she did. Feast your eyes on recipes for feasts for this feast day!  Crepes!

In France, each member of the family prepares a crepe (which is not pronounced CRAPE, by the way, but CREP) and while they do so, they hold a coin in their hand in the hope of financial stability until next Candlemas.  Superstitious.  They may as well hold a rabbit's foot for luck.


Still, some delicious crepes and some edible candles would be lovely.  I have had dinner crepes with chicken and mushrooms that had to be sinful to eat.  We can say a prayer for financial security without any cooking while coin holding.


And don't put your candle cookies away after today! Make a double batch!  Tomorrow is the Feast of St. Blaise.

The Return of the Chapel Veil

Since we are on the topic of Mass etiquette, what about Chapel Veils? I see them becoming more common at my church and I am curious if anyone else has considered wearing them.

Whether we're talking about Mass etiquette or mass etiquette, things have certainly gone downhill.  Seen anyone texting at Mass yet?  I'll bet you have.


I haven't.  But that's only because I'm sure I haven't been sneaky enough. I've lost my nun "suddenly appear behind you with no warning" powers in my old age.  Guess my bones creak too loudly. They always know I'm coming these days and behave accordingly. No one has had the nerve to text right in my face at Mass.  That day will come, I am certain.


What were we talking about?  Oh, yes!  Chapel Veils!  To answer your question, yes, they do seem to be making a comeback. I used to care.  Now I can't get up any steam on the issue. For one thing, the Chapel "Veil" has a curious history.  And for another, the lone person wearing a chapel veil has a tendency to look "holier than thou", which is unfortunate, since it's really no one's beeswax.

Women didn't used to have to be told to wear a hat in church, because women always had their heads covered when they left the house.  Have you ever seen a picture of little St. Bernadette without that thing on her head?  No, you haven't, because she wouldn't have left the house without it. There was never a rule in the church that women had to wear a hat, because women were already wearing  hats.  You won't find a rule that says you have to wear clothing to church, because everyone already does that.


What clothing is worn is entirely another matter.  A rulebook would be handy.  I digress.


And then hats slowly went away.  The Catholic Church did actually make a rule that women have their heads covered. That was 1917.  After Vatican II, the rule disappeared, but wasn't officially announced.  There is no rule now.


Vatican II was in the 1960's, the era of big hair.  I contend that the Chapel Veil was born to save big hair from being squashed. I can only back that up with empirical evidence: before the Chapel Veil, we all either wore a hat or a bandanna, St. Bernadette scarf to Mass.  So we all looked like Polish cleaning ladies, except around Easter, when we all had our new hats.  When 60's big hair arrived, so did the Chapel Veil.

I don't know how we ended up with Grandma's doilies on our heads. How many times did you get to Mass, realize you didn't have your doily had have to grab a Kleenex, or a place mat, or the church bulletin and stick it up there? At that point, we can all agree that the whole hat issue has turned to mush.


I am not anxious for the return of hats in church.  Are you surprised?  I am.  I am very old fashioned and was very sad to see the hats go.  But they did go, so to have them come back now seems to me just to be one more pointlessly divisive thing to use to sit around and judge each other at Mass. Either way, hat or no hat, once people start in on them again, along with the hand holders against the non-hand holders, the opinions will begin, the teeth will grind, the blood pressure will rise.


We'll have great reason to put on our judges robes, too, as hat wearers cover their heads and nothing else and non hat wearers don their Little House on the Prairie garb.  It won't be pretty.


You know what secretly tickles me about that cell phone picture at the top of the page?  Someone had to take out their phone to take it.


Maybe I'll write a rule book.  Would that help?

Culture Shock

The hand holding, clapping war rages on in the comments section.  Who knew such a simple question would start such a donnybrook.  Sister St. Aloysius' worry of a future war in Heaven is not unfounded!  Time for a little palette cleanser:


My fiance has just moved from his home country of England to start a new life together in America. He is suffering from culture shock. Is there a patron saint who helps in a situation like this?


My goodness! Isn't that lovely? The poor man.  America is a very hard place to get used to, I would imagine.  Although, the food is a lot better!  Where in America has he landed, I wonder?  Because I get culture shock going from here on the West Coast to the Midwest.


I have a terrifically hard time finding any food that includes vegetables, for one thing, although I suppose technically speaking, potatoes are  vegetables, as is the tomato on the hamburger. You'd better be a big fan of iceberg lettuce, too. Your salad will have ham on it, if it isn't made up almost entirely of ham. You can't even find ham salad here anywhere. A request for ham salad would solicit blank stares.


And when you actually do find some vegetables, something untoward has been done to them. They have bacon bits on them, or cheese.  Not real cheese, either. Cheeze Whiz or Velvetta. 


But I digress.


Yes, of course we have a patron saint for him! We have a whole bunch of saints for him! I'd go with the North American Martyrs! Talk about culture shock!  Since I've covered them before, I'll just redirect you there. But I do want to highlight the fact that these men were shocked and horrified whilst having to live among the heathens and were beaten and chewed  trying to do their work here.

That would be much worse than broccoli with bacon bits and Velvetta. 


Which brings me back to the hand holding wars.  The North American Martyrs should add a little perspective to our thoughts.

ON and on

Woefully behind!


The Our Father singing/hand holding controversy has raged on in my absence.  I do believe this is the longest comment thread in the history of Ask Sister Mary Martha. A brief sampling:

Oh, don't get me started on the clapping. I sometimes go to the more (*ahem*) contemporary parish that is closer to my house. I actually stopped going there because they incessantly do annoying things. They always clap after the recessional and and one of the last times I went, the clapped during the Alleluia! Like it was a campfire song! This is how they did it: "Alle" *clap clap* "Luia" *clap clap* and then "alle-alle-alle-alle-alleluia!" I actually turned to the person sitting next to me, with what I can only imagine was a look of horror and a stupefied "really??!" escaped my mouth out loud. She seemed to share my annoyance. Needless to say, I never went back.


Was there a liturgical dance, too?


I also cannot stand singing the Our Father. It's distracting and annoying and takes way too long. Not that I think it should be gotten over with as soon as possible, but I feel that everytime it is sung I'm focused more on how silly the tune is, and how it doesn't sound good and how all I want to do is focus on the WORDS and not anything else.
Luckily it's only sung at 12:00 mass at my church, so i just avoid it... or offer it up!


Strategies are employed:

I've never liked holding hands. We always sit with parents on the outside, kids in the middle. So, I'll be, at least on one side, next to a non-family member. Whether it is someone I know or a complete stranger, I am not comfortable holding hands with a man who is not my husband. It just feels so wrong. Perhaps because prayer and hand holding are both intimate acts, it is uncomfortable to do them with someone I am not on that level with. I usually keep a handkerchief in my pocket and when hand holding time comes around, I just blow my nose and try to look like I'd really like to hold their hands but don't want to spread germs.


The general non hand holding, sing less, stop that clapping consensus:


I've read through the comments here and have seen lots of reasons why and why not people like or do not like holding hands. One thing that caught my attention was the word "unity". This is the precise reason we, Catholic Christians should not hold hands during the Our Father prayer. As Catholic Christians, our "unity" is in the Eucharist. If you wish to imagine those of your family who are not with you, imagine them surrounding the Altar during the Eucharistic prayer, praying with you and the multitude of Angels and Saints.
To hold hands during the Our Father as a sign of "unity" is a misunderstanding of our Faith. We unite with one another at the reception of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity.


We could start holding hands during the Eucharist, too, in that case.

We're all entitled to our opinions. I would prefer not to sing or hold hands. Do I agree that we shouldn't sing or hold hands? No. I understand those who feel we are somehow chipping away at the reverence we should be feeling at Mass with a held hand here and a tune there.


And all that clapping...it calls to mind a game show, the one where everyone claps like chimpanzees no matter how stupid the answer was.


But I feel that's not the issue on which we should focus. At least one person is on the same page as I.

My husband hates the "sung" Our Father and some of the hymns that are often sung during Mass. He refuses to sing the Our Father but will mouth the words along with those of us who sing. As to the hymns he doesn't care for, he glares throughout without singing them.

My thoughts?

If we're striving for unity, should we allow such petty things to separate us for the others in the congregation? Can't we simply "offer it up" and go along with the flow as long as it isn't something truly un-Christian? Is it really necessary for us to (not) voice our disapproval by refusing to join with others in the Body of Christ?

But that's just me...

No, it's me, too.  Whenever I find myself feeling miffed, judgmental, irked and stiff shouldered, I remind myself that someday I hope to be in Heaven with the source of my irritation:  my singing, clapping, hand holding brethren. I won't even be allowed in Heaven if I'm standing stiff shouldered and tight lipped in the line to get in.

I think it's as important for people to know why they are/aren't standing, kneeling, holding hands, applauding, crossing themselves, wearing flip-flops as it is that they follow the rules. Anytime I've seen someone doing something I was taught was wrong, I ask myself if it would be better that they just not be in church. I'd rather see someone in flip-flops than not see them at all.


Yes. St. Francis of Assisi didn't even wear shoes.

We'll all be in Heaven together. Even Those People who do Those Things.

Whoever Those People are for you.

It always disturbs me  to hear that people have left a parish because they have become stiff shouldered and annoyed.  What are you going to do in Heaven?  You can't change parishes in Heaven. Do you imagine that Those People, simply won't be there? Surely you hope that they will be.



Worried about spreading the flu? That's a lame excuse.  Jesus hugged lepers, back when they thought you could get leprosy by hugging lepers. It made the lepers so happy.

Our Hands, Our Father

The discussion on "Our Father Hand Holding" has been so lively in the comments section, I've decided to repost them here to we can all follow along.  Apparently there has been some major amok running as regards the "Our Father" at Mass:


Hi Sister- I've followed your blog for a couple of years (I think it was the first blog I ever followed) but this is my very first question (and it's rather long!). 

The beginning of this post reminds me of the moment that makes me wince at nearly every Sunday Mass at our parish. The Our Father is sung while (almost) everyone hold hands (a few of us hold out... we have little ones in our arms which is a great excuse!). 

The part that really, really bothers me, however is that they have actually changed the words to the prayer so that it is sung: "Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, father hear our prayer. And lead us not, into temptation but deliver us, deliver us, from all that is evil, hear our prayer.

Changing the words can't possibly be okay, can it? I feel like my husband and I are the only ones bothered by it. We're hoping our new pastor (third pastor in three years now) is going to say something like: "we're going to use the words Jesus taught us and that's that!" but since it hasn't happened up until this point I'm not exactly optimistic. 

No one seems to want to challenge the status quo (except that apparently they did at some point and someone let it slide). 

But changing the words isn't acceptable, is it?


Well, yes and no.  When you sing something sometimes you have to make a couple of changes to fit the words to the music. The changes of which you speak don't change the meaning in any way as far as I can see.  Although I have heard plenty o' versions of the "Our Father" sung that don't change anything. They are all ghastly, in my opinion. There is no cadence to the "Our Father", it's not a poem and it can only be shoehorned into music.  But that's just me.  My heart goes out to you.  Singing the "Our Father" never works out very well.


But back to the comments:

Hi,
Here's my 2 cents which will probably irritate a lot of people. I've no idea what the official view is on this and don't claim to know everything (or anywhere near) about Catholicism or Christianity. I don't see how either holding hands or putting in "Father here our prayer" is in any way unacceptable. Fair enough, don't add or take away anything from the mass but can't common sense be used. Surely little things that can't possibly be seen as evil or deviant by anyone's standards are ok? Is there an official document anywhere that says people must stand/sit/kneel with their hands, legs and head at a certain angle during mass? If so, fair enough, but I still think it's being extremely petty. I can't help but think of all the references to Pharisees paying too much attention to little details of the law while ignoring the more important matters of religious teachings.


To which we get this very well thought out response:

There actually IS a document! It's called the General Instruction of the Roman Missal, or GIRM for short. And while I agree with your premise entirely, that it seems all too petty to worry about concise language and posture, when all of these are intended to draw us more deeply into the love of God and love for neighbor, here is thinking on that: If you do not have a standard, then what are the boundaries, exactly? Father Joe at St. X parish decides it's okay to say "Father, hear our prayer, hear our prayer." Not so far from the original - but then Father Larry across town starts to use a version with inclusive language. Next thing you know, Father Steve decided to substitute the prayer of the native Sufi tribe in place of the Lord's prayer, because it contains many of the same types of petitions - forgiveness, tolerance, dependence on a Great Spirit. Do you see where this is going? Someone has to decide which form of prayer should be used, and yes, whether or not the people should be standing, kneeling, or seated. As a Catholic who travels quite a bit, I've found it very comforting that I can attend a mass in any country and know when to stand, sit, or kneel, and even if I cannot read or speak the language, I basically know exactly where I am in the mass because of the uniformity in the liturgy.

Catholic School Teacher

I agree with Catholic school teacher! If we just start changing these things, aren't we basically no longer Catholic in a way? I mean, Luther just wanted to change a few things here and there, and then Calvin wanted to change a few more, and before you know it: BAM! a million little offshoots with no authority! The Catholic church has standards and rubrics and a Pope and a Magisterium in order to keep all these things nice and (excuse the pun) "kosher." 
Now, at my church we sing the Our Father and it just drives me nuts. But we don't even change the words. Just the act of singing it bothers me. But that's just me, I guess...

No, it really, really isn't just you.

The churches in our archdiocese ask us to join hands (if we like) during the Our Father. I don't see anything wrong with it; it's not adding anything out of line to the Mass. (We don't change the words.) When I close my eyes to say the prayer, I know I'm holding hands with my family, and I envision the family and friends who aren't with me at that moment holding hands and praying with us, too.

Sometimes we'll try singing the Our Father, but the tune our choir uses isn't that great. I heard one good choral version of the Our Father sung at a parish several years ago, but most of the time it doesn't quite work.

Peaceful discussion continues:

Thanks for all those responses, it's interesting to know there is a document - should have guessed! I do see all your points but still think common sense could be used. I don't know what all the differences are between Catholics and other Christian churches but imagine they're a bit more than whether hands are held during the "Our Father". I do see it's easier to make rigid rules and have no confusion between one person's version of common sense and another's. But I still think we shouldn't place too much importance on it or let it bother us when it's something as minor as holding hands. I can't see it bothering Jesus but could be wrong.

But of course:

The problem mph is where does it stop? It is not petty when one sees week after week the reverence of Mass eroding into trivality. Talking during the silence of the Church before and after Mass trivializes the space and makes it difficult for people who wish to pray. Wearing flip-flops and shorts to Church trivializes Mass and turns it into a tourist activity. Holding hands makes Mass trivial.

And while we're on the subject:

Sister, one of my other pet peeves (besides the cum bya of holding hands during the Lord's prayer) is when the parishioners break out into applause for the choir--at least they normally wait until after the recessional (I hope that is the right word). The choir rarely sings at the early Mass my family and I attend except on special occassions. So, I guess it is just "too special" not to acknowlege with clapping?? Isn't the Mass--meeting the Lord in His Word and receiving Him in the Eucharist enough for people? They've already erroneously turned the altars all different ways. Our tabernacle is in the back rear of our sanctuary behind glass. It is like seating the banquest's guest of honor in the kitchen. Thank God our current pastor started a campaign to raise money to build a new home for the tabernacle front and center in the sanctuary. (Praise God our parish is also debt-free!)

One of my main goals as a Catechist is to make sure that I instill in my students reverence for Christ's presence in the Mass. One of the most important things they need to know is God's love for them and His coming to them in a very real, tangible way in the Mass. God loved them so much He suffered and died for them--He deserves our love, reverence, and devotion. They cumbyas and hand holding should be reserved for summer camp, youth group, and Kindergarten class.

Sorry, I'm babbling. My two cents. God bless you sister.

Deep breath (or is that too "Eastern Religion-ish"?).  Of course, everyone will want to know what I think.  

Everyone is right.  Seriously, that's what I think.

I think we should do things the way they are supposed to be done because there is a reason they are done that way that has been picked at and turned over and thought about and refined for CENTURIES. They didn't just say to everybody, "Oh, let's stand up now, we've been kneeling for so long."  Or "Jesus made a nice prayer, what if people don't get it? Maybe we should dumb it down."

But...

I'm not sure how many of you saw this, but the Pope recently said that homosexual male prostitutes and  female prostitutes should be encouraged to use condoms. Now don't lose sight for one second that sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin, period. And so is using a condom.  Did the Pope bring that up? You'd think he'd want to take this opportunity to drive that point home.

Nope.  He was much more concerned with any tiny thing that could help a person a little closer to doing the right thing.  So he suggested that these colossal sinners would benefit from doing something that caused them to think of the safety of others and thus bring them one step closer to an inkling of a holy life. 

So, if people are holding hands during the "Our Father" and it's bringing the closer to God, hooray! They're at Mass!  With their family!  Maybe later we can mention that we don't do that and why and they can mull that over, maybe try it next time. We can set a good example, meanwhile.

But stop that clapping! That's just wrong.