Boy Talk

Of course it rained. We only had a little leak, because it was only a little rain.

Our thoughts on St. Maria Goretti solicited this question:

So many pure saints... Only sometimes I, as a male, may ask: what about some patron saint of "male" chastity? I mean, I do take St Cecilia, St Maria Goretti, et al. as patrons for my own purity... But sometimes I would like an example of my same gender. May I think in the great St. Joseph. Any other ideas?

St. Joseph is an excellent thought! You are a good patron saint matcher. Sometimes you have to think outside the box. For example, I think whatever else St. Vincent de Paul might have up his sleeve as a patron saint, he is also the patron saint of pirates. He was kidnapped by pirates once. I'm not sure anyone needs a patron saint of pirates, but if they do, he's your man. Pirates need someone to help them not be pirates.

I digress.

Another reader also suggested St. Aloysius, who is the official patron saint of chastity. Was he ever chaste! Chaste with a side of prude. St. Aloysius took a private vow of chastity at age nine. He would not look a woman in the face, even his own mother. We love him! He's also the patron saint of choir boys.


There is, however, a whole avenue of chaste saints that goes unexplored. I would go with any of the saints who were hermit monks. I would put forth this theory, which I've held for sometime, which is that the whole reason they became hermit monks was to remain chaste.

The first famous hermit monk is St. Anthony the Hermit. There were other hermits before St. Anthony, but he outdid them all by living in the desert proper. He was really out there on his own. He wanted to follow Jesus more perfectly but he found it too difficult to remain sin free while hanging around other people.

Now think about this. What were these other people doing all the time that was so sinful that it would tempt him so much? Usury? Stealing? Being disrespectful to their parents? I think it's a little obvious what the problem could have been. So he removed the temptation altogether by living on his own in the middle of nowhere.

Unfortunately for him, a bunch of people followed him. But fortunately for him, they were all men and eventually they, and people like them, formed themselves into monasteries.

What was St. Simon Stilites really doing up on that pole? Why sit on top of a pole for years and years? Why keep getting a taller and taller pole? What's up with that?

Chastity, drove him up a pole. That's my theory.

If you wear a hair shirt, you really can only think about the hair shirt and offer up your suffering. It takes your mind off of things on which your mind might otherwise dwell. Hair shirts, tall poles, life on the desert. It's all about chastity.

That's my theory, anyhow.

I realize there is much more to it than that. Life on the desert gives one a lot of time to devote to God and prayer and meditation and contemplation. I get that.

I'm really liking your idea of St. Joseph, though. He needed a bit of angelic prodding, but he really came through in a big way.