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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Easy Peasy Really Quesy


I shouldn't have had any cake. It would have been better to field this question on an empty stomach.

Robert said...

The cake sounds tasty, no matter how it may look. I do have a question for you: I've been out of work since April and my employment insurance is about to run out. I am desperatly seeking work, however, have been turned down for every job I've applied for so far. Out of desperation, I applied for a job as a cashier at a local er...adult...novelty...store... I myself am a virgin and plan to remain one until marriage, nor do I really condone the use of such uh...products. But, I really need a job (eviction is imminent) and they are the only company that seems interested in having me as an employee. What should I do? Should I take the job? If I did, would it be concidered a sin to work in such an industry?

The store also sells cakes.
Just not ones I'd eat.


I feel urp-py.

One of the reasons that the Catholic Church emphasizes a happy, happy life in heaven is that often life here on earth is no picnic. We are expected, when life is no picnic, to walk it off and offer it up to the Poor Souls in Purgatory.

So the simple answer is: starve first.

There is a much more complex answer, though, that involves what we call a "Near Occasion of Sin". A "Near Occasion of Sin" is Catholic Church lingo for "in harm's way". Of course, we are in harm's way constantly. We really can't leave the house. We can't stay in the house either. A lot of our sins are thriving right inside our own skulls. Only a labotomy could keep us out of harm's way, sinwise.

And while a Near Occasion of Sin isn't that hard to fathom, the four different types of Near Occasions of Sins can be a little more daunting.

Proximate: meaning one generally falls into sin

Remote: meaning one sometimes falls.

Necessary: meaning one cannot avoid.

Voluntary: meaning one could avoid with a little will power. Or a lot of will power.

Will power is always involved, in any case.

Spelled out thusly, you new job fires on all pistons. Your only sin loophole is that it may be necessary, as in, you can't get any other job.

Meanwhile, you're peddling sin, standing knee deep in sin every working hour, putting up the sin displays and answering customers questions about how to sin better.

Some loophole. I think the only way you get away with the "necessary" loophole is if you don't actually work for these people but ask to set up a table with pamphlets about the Catholic Church and St. Agnes and St. Maria Goretti and such and they actually say yes. It would be a great place to set up a table with scapulars on it and whatnot.

We are so sorry you mentioned their cake.

There are several patron saints for job hunting and financial stability. St. Joseph the Worker, springs to mind. I'm found of St. John of God, as well, as he wandered around aimlessly doing not so nice things for quite some time before he finally went looney and Jesus paid him a visit in the nut house. I would say 'psych ward', but they didn't have psych wards back then. They only had nut houses.

Good luck to you. Far be it from me to tell you that you have to go starve. I just recommend it.

And as long as our stomaches are already turned:

Sister, have you ever seen Corn Smut? It is a black, ugly, fungus-like growth that infects an ear of corn and ruins it. If you ever see it, you won't forget it, as it is very, very yucky looking. Smut is a perfect name for impure images.

Yes, I have. Thanks for the reminder.


So...no nun pictures today. Just...not today....

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes, smut. As a farmer, I must share 2 things about smut. 1)it's pronounced with a "sh". Shmut. (although I do suppose very Americanized farmers, too far gone from their German roots, might say otherwise). 2)it's a delicacy in Mexico. Nasty. So, you see, someone's smut is always someone else's 'yummy!'. Let's not be the smut peddler, Robert. I'll pray for you, too!

Lisa said...

Last weekend, shopping at the local food co-op, I saw corn smut for sale in the produce. They called it something else ("mexican truffle," maybe) but the label said it was a high-protein fungus that grows "naturally" on corn ears and it was, in fact, corn smut. It was over $4 a pound.

It's a terrible time to be looking for a job. I am praying for you, Robert.

Anonymous said...

More farmers here. We say smut. We are of German descent.
Smut occurs when the corn ear has been injured, like from hail. There is no cure.
Robert avoid the smut. We tell our kids to avoid porn and other suggestive materials because our brains are not computers, we can't just hit 'delete' and wipe images out of our mind.
Corn smut has fungal spores that stick to you and are difficult to remove. Exposure to smut will be difficult to remove.
We too will pray for you, follow God. He has something in store for you that doesn't demand damage to your soul.
Sister, can you give us a novena to start on Monday ending on election day for Godly leaders for our country?

Monica said...

anonymous, Iwas planning an Infant of Prague novena for the election, so I'm anxious to hear if Sr. has someone 'better' to go to for this. :)

Igd said...

Sister,

Not sure whether there's much that can be done about it, but the "AdBright" advert was showing some really nasty 6th/9th Commandment-breaking stuff... something of the sort that might find itself at home in the shop Robert talks about -- for whom I offer my prayers.

And while I'm here:

...and Jesus paid him a visit in the nut house. I would say 'psych ward', but they didn't have psych wards back then. They only had nut houses.

Wonderful!

Jane said...

Robert, you will be in our prayers! My husband and I know what it is like to be out of work and low on cash. I hope that you will not have to take that job.

Anonymous said...

I would like to say to Robert that I looked for a job for a full year. I couldn't believe it was so difficult to find ANYTHING. Pray the rosary novena. On my 3rd day, I got a call for my dream job.They told me my first day would be 5 days from the interview, if at all, then they called me back one and a half hours later and asked me to start the next day. I really needed a job. I'm very happy. Say a 54-day novena,Robert! God bless.

Anna said...

This is a delicacy in Mexico -- huitlacoche (probably spelled wrong, but pronounced wheat-la-co-chay). It's an acquired taste, like mushrooms or truffles. Had a wonderful huitlacoche quiche prepared by a superb Mexico City ocok.

Kitty said...

Huitlacoche is delicious! Too bad it is smut here in the US.