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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Hello, my name is Martha and I'll be your server today


I don't do well being fussed over and waited on. Luckily my toe is much better and I can limp around. I don't really even have to hobble. I was still hobbling yesterday. Like Grandpappy Amos on the Real McCoys, something only old fogies like me remember.

I chose the name Martha on purpose, way back when. St. Martha is the patron saint of waitresses and cooks. St. Lawrence is the patron saint of cooks, too...also of comics. I tend to think of him more as the patron saint of comics for his wild sense of humor. A true satirist.

When the Roman prefect started up the Roman killing machine again he told St. Lawrence to round up all the churches treasures. The prefect gave St. Lawrence three days. St. Lawrence spent the next three days giving everything away to the poor like a wild man. At the appointed time he showed up wherever he was supposed to be with the loot: thousands of the blind, lepers, poor, crippled....excuse me, disabled....you get the picture. "Here are the treasures of the church, " he announced. What a riot! He was promptly ordered to be killed.

Legend has it he was grilled on a gridiron and his final words were, "Turn me over, I'm done on this side." Really, you can look it up.

Reminds me of when Ronald Reagan, not the dancer, old Dutch, said, "I forgot to duck."

Anyhow, St. Martha is the patron saint of waitresses because of one famous story, that makes everyone hang their heads in shame because it makes everyone feel really guilty. And it should.

You remember Martha. She had a sister, Mary and an extremely famous brother, Lazarus. Yes, THAT Lazarus. (Has anyone ever been named Lazarus except that guy? Some names you just don't touch. Like Hitler. No one wants that last name anymore.) Jesus spent a lot of time at their house and on one such occasion Martha was busily serving everyone. Twelve apostles, the Lord only knows how many disciples, Lazarus. Did they just drop in? Did she have to make the falafel dinner for three she had planned stretch for 35 people? We don't know.

We do know that she had something choice to say to her sister Mary for plopping herself down and listening to Jesus. Anybody would sympathize with her. Where does Mary get off leaving Martha all that work all by herself? There are guests in the house, for Pete's sake. St. Martha could have stormed out the back door with a hearty 'get it yourself!' throw over her shoulder and taken some 'alone time' and no one would have blamed her.

But Jesus tells her to chill, only in his archaic way of speaking. It's smarter to sit and listen to him then to bustle around rattling plates.

oops. That's right. That would be better.

Well, that's me, to a tee. I'm a plate rattler through and through.

Of course, I have St. Mary Fiacre to contend with. We never know who she's listening to at any given moment. Could be God, could be Lawrence Welk. There's no way to know.

This week I've been forced to go sit down. I've still managed to rattle a plate or two here at the blog anyhow, true to my namesake.

16 comments:

Jeff Miller said...

The name Judas also had a dramatic downfall.

Christopher said...

Take a look at this list of all the names of characters from the bible. You'll notice the vast majority of them are not commonly used today.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Christopher, you haven't been to Appalachia, have you?

I remember reading that St. Jude's name was actually Judas and was changed because, well, you know.

Andy Looney said...

I think two of the twelve were Jude Thaddeus and Judas Iscariot.

Sister, I would appreciate your remarks on the second last posting on my blog.

My name is Andrew but I hope to someday be St.Andrew.

Catholic Mom said...

My paternal grandfather came from a family of I believe 12 or 13 children. I know when his parents got to the last child they were tired of trying to come up with a name. He was named A.Z.
Just the initials. Too bad they didn't have Christopher's list back in the day.He could have been Amos Zachariah.

CMinor said...

Well, I'm risking ticking off Christopher again, but you did notice the definition of 'name' as 'any noun?'
I. E. the list includes many nouns that were not necessarily peoples' names then, either.

On the other hand, I think I saw a few of my D. H.'s relatives up there...

Sister Mary Martha said...

Mr. Looney, what I meant was I had read the Judas Thaddeus was originally Judas Thaddeus. Nit picker.

I've seen that joke. I tried to respond to it over on your blog but your blog seems to be broken or something. Not to complain......

Sister Mary Martha said...

Catholic Mom, at least they didn't put an "L" in front of little A.Z.'s name.

Or name him Chip.

JR's Thumbprints said...

I let the dishwasher rattle my plates.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Mr. Thumbprints, is your dishwasher named Martha. Mine is.

~m2~ said...

sister!

from one martha to another, i must tell you when you comment on another's blog, it would be so helpful to link your site (here) appropriately - i've gone in and edited twice on you now to correct it so others can find you and your wit and wisdom.

now i have a kitchen to go clean...

Mistress Regina said...

In the spirt if St. Mary's musical tastes...
Tales Of Ladies, Goddesses And Bitches

Sister Mary Martha said...

Thank you Martha, I'll try to be up to snuff in the future.

Milehimama said...

My husband keeps threatening me with the names Uz and Buz if we ever have twins. Or maybe Ham. I countered with a good old Catholic name - Ignatius Polycarp. Has a little ring to it, I think.

Anonymous said...

You really are arrogant, and silly

Katie said...

Sister,
How did you know you were called to religious life?
~Katie