The Three Scares and Four Sorrows of Mary

The doctor told me that by today, a week from the bathroom door incident, my toe bone should have knitted together some. I think it has. I still can't wear a normal shoe.

But if that's my worst complaint, no big deal.

Especially since tomorrow is the feast of the Seven Sorrows of Mary.

Now let's not confuse ourselves. The Seven Sorrows of Mary are not the Five Sorrowful Mysteries.

For the separated brethen and the miminally educated CCD kids, the Five Sorrowful Mysteries are five incidents in the life of Mary that we meditate about when saying the rosary on Tuesday, and Saturday, unless it's Lent, and then we do the Sorrowful Mysteries every day. If you get confused, you could just say a proper rosary and go around the beads four times, once for each set of mysteries, which is what a full rosary actually entails. But we know how lazy you are so we divided it up for you across the week. Pathetic.

Bear with me here. The rosary is a meditation on Jesus as seen through the eyes of his mother. Mary doesn't actually appear by name in the Sorrowful Mysteries. She's all over the Joyful Mysteries and she is active in half of the Glorious Mysteries and makes appearances in the Luminous Mysteries. I know it sounds a little confusing, but if you actually mediatate on it, you'll figure it out.

Anyhow, the Five Sorrowful Mysteries are: The Agony in the Garden, The Scouring at the Pillar, The Crowning of Thorns, Carrying the Cross, and the Death on the Cross.

And that's almost completely different...although not entirely different....from the Seven Sorrows of Mary.

The Seven Sorrows of Mary

1. The Prophecy of Simeon.
Mary brings the baby Jesus to the temple and Simeon jumps out and tells her that she will have a sword pierce her heart.

Now this one isn't all that sorrowful, really, if you imagine yourself in her shoes. If you were at the temple with your beautiful new baby and some old man jumped over to tell you things would end badly and that you would be incredibly sorrowful and wounded, you might be really spooked or a little peeved. What a wet blanket.

If you knew he was a prophet, it would certainly gnaw at you.

2. The Flight to Egpyt.

This is when evil king Herod got wind from the Magi that a new king had been born and had all the first born babies killed. I have to pause for a moment and say, what's up with these Magi? How 'wise' was it to tell the old evil king they were on their way to honor the 'new king'? And ask where they might find this new king? Doh! That has always gotten on my nerves. Wise, indeed.

Anyway, an angel tells Joseph to get out of Dodge. Which is why St. Joseph is a great choice to replace St. Christopher since Christopher was x-ed off the list. St. Joseph did a lot of safe traveling with his family.

And for Mary, very scarey.

3. Jesus is Lost at the Temple

We're all familiar with this tale, when after a visit to the temple in Jerusalem, Mary thinks Jesus is with Joseph and Joseph thinks Jesus is with Mary, when really, He's still at the temple.

Really scarey and aggravating.

The next three (Jesus carrying the cross... also a Sorrowful Mystery..., Mary at the foot of the cross and Mary recieves the body of Jesus) I won't go into because since I know you all saw the Passion of the Christ, you know how deeply sorrowful they are, in living color, great detail ten feet high, slow motion and surround sound.

The last one is Mary witnessing the Burial of Jesus. How right Simeon was.


So that's my day tomorrow. I suppose some of you are just looking forward to the season premiere of "Lost".