A Welcoming Thanksgiving!

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I thought today's question might give us something for which to be thankful.  Not that that is a tall order.  If you woke up this morning, you've already got that covered.  But I thought a happy story might enhance our festivities.

Sister, I am sorry to ask a question in your comments spot,but I haven't figured out how to ask questions on this blog, so here goes.
I was born and raised Southern Baptist, but as a young woman I became interested in other religions.
Catholicism was an eye-opener. All of a sudden, the Bible stories I heard as a child lost the dry, dusty, not quite done feel. The Catholic version was more real, more full-bodied. As time has gone on, I have learned more and more about Catholicism.
Now, I am ready to go to the priest and ask to go to classes so I can be baptized a Catholic.
Is there a saint that intercedes for almost Catholics?

YAY!  Welcome!  Particularly timely and wonderful in lieu of the last couple of posts what with our discussion of the Bible and all. Delightful!

And OF COURSE, there are saints for converts.  The truth is, there are dozens and dozens and dozens of them, since so many saint spent their lives converting people.  You could go for the North American Martyrs, for example.  They'd be happy to help!

But perhaps you're looking for a convert who became a saint.  You could turn to the original convert saint, St. Paul.  He wasn't just any convert.  He was a persecutor of Christians before Jesus knocked him off his high horse.  He turned out to be quite the convert.  Like an ex-smoker in his zealotry.

God love those ex-smokers.  For one thing, they've stopped smoking.  Then they become really rapid anti-smokers.  Good for them! I think it's because they finally realized how terrible they smelled.  That is quite a revelation to them, it seems, once they can smell things again.

I remember when I was five, by little best friend who lived up the block had a stuffed monkey that she left at my house.  It smelled so...weird.  Bad.  I had never smelled anything like that, and this is back in the day when adults sat around smoking whenever they were and whoever they were with, infant or octogenarian.  My mother said, "That's because they smoke."  I thought that was very odd, because the monkey did not smell like cigarettes or smoke. It just smelled.  Poor monkey.

But I digress.

Here is a list of saints who were converts.  It's a bit overwhelming. Notice that it includes all of the apostles, who were all Jewish.

Which gives a wonderful idea for you!  St. John the Baptist!  He was Jewish, became a Christian before the word was invented, started Baptizing people and Baptized Jesus Himself!  And the word "Baptist" is right in there!

I think we have a winner!

Happy Thanksgiving!  We'll talk again over leftovers!

Angels in the Plains

While we're on the topic of the separated brethren we have a couple of separate comments and questions about what goes on in the Not Catholic realm.


When I encounter an In-the-bible, Exactly-as-written Evangelical, I ask them, "What about the different Resurrection accounts?"


Did the women see an angel? Did they talk to the Risen Christ?
Did they run to the Disciples and tell them the Body was missing?


Each Apostle emphasized different aspects, may have forgotten or misremembered a detail or two. The important message is there. "He is Risen!"

It's fun.

It IS fun.  Are you sure you didn't talk to me first?  I've been using that one for years. Great minds and all that.  I never went into all that detail, I simply asked, "How many angels were at the tomb after Jesus left the tomb?"  And the answer from the Bible is. One.

No.  Two.

No.  None.

If we take the average number of angels at the tomb the answer is one.  Right?  I'll ask Sister St. Aloysius. She's a math whiz.  She's busy pouring over pie recipes. I don't want to get in the way of that.

In any case, I have used that question numerous times and then....silence...no answer....

I particularly like that question because it's something we all agree happened.  We might disagree about what Jesus meant when He said, "Take this and eat, This is My Body..."  A lot of people think that direct order was symbolic.  But we all agree Jesus rose from the dead.  He was in the tomb and then He wasn't.  There may or may not have been angels.

And that right there rather closes the argument about how one should think about the Bible, does it not?  Unfortunately, we all know it doesn't.  It should.  But it doesn't.

Here's one I always wondered about: Some, as you call them, separated brethren have ornate churches that resemble ours but some are simply bare and sparse with just a plain, unadorned cross...why? Is it part of their teaching and beliefs, or do they just prefer it that way? Also, where, besides google, do you find other churches beliefs, or catechism, if they call it that? Does everyone have one? Thanks, Sister. Love your blog and your etsy shop is great!

Thanks! Great for stocking stuffers!  What better Christmas gift than your own personal patron saint?

But about those churches.  The simple answer is that the separated brethren who are most like the Roman Catholic Church (like the Anglican, Episcopal and the Eastern Orthodox Churches) have ornate church buildings.  The simple churches come from the Protestant movement.  Note the word "protest" right in there.

The Protestant movement arose as a direct response to the Church's ornate wealth in the 15th and 16th centuries.  Martin Luther, the granddaddy of the movement was really angry at the Church's fund raising tactics and he wasn't wrong.  The Church responded by making necessary changes but that horse was out of the barn.

Of course, it's all way more complicated than that, but that's the deal in a nutshell.

Pecan pie.  I'm hoping that's on the agenda.  Although last year's sour cream apple was a keeper.

The second part of your question is very intriguing to me. Frankly, I have asked people point blank what they believe, and past "Jesus Saves" I can't get a coherent answer.  Episcopals are okay with the saints and Mary (I think...), but the Anglicans and the Episcopals are... Catholic Lite.

And after that, other than "No Mary, No Saints",  I'm at a complete loss.  Transubstantiation?  Yes to some, no to many.  Original Sin?  No clue.  The Holy Trinity?  The Holy Spirit?  St. Paul?  A lot of what Luther believed was from St. Paul.  I think.  How does one eschew the saints and read the New Testament, when the authors are all saints?  Baffling.

I had a book a while back that was one of those "For Dummies" books that traced the origins of the Christian faiths.  "Christianity for Dummies", I think it was.  It was interesting in that each new sect developed because they disagreed with a thing or two in the sect before.  But what they actually believe and don't believe really wasn't in there and left me with more questions than answers.

I have had no luck by asking individuals, either.


And finally, the Crucifix. Again, Catholics for Jesus on the Cross and Protestants go for plain.  That's because Catholics feel that we must realize the full measure of Jesus' sacrifice for our salvation.  Protestants want to emphasize the resurrection.  To which Catholics reply, "That's too easy."  It wasn't that easy.  It isn't that easy.

The Bible Does Always Win

Dear Sister Mary Martha-

I couldn't figure out where to post a question, and so I'm posting one in a comment.

But first, let me add that I love your blog! I was raised Catholic, and I'm so happy there's something like this, now that I'm in college with so many different flavors of Christianity on campus.

Which brings me to my next question. I'm being pursued, for lack of a better word, by members of a nation-wide Christian collegiate group called Chi Alpha. Pentecostal-based, it holds that "the Bible always wins." In other words, if it is not specifically word-for-word in the Bible somewhere, it isn't true, never was and never will be.

Don't we also believe that? If so, that rules out a lot. My friends don't believe in infant baptism, Transfiguration, Mary as venerated by Catholics, or the saints.

And what about Baptism of the Holy Spirit, and speaking in tongues? A large majority of my friends speak in prayer languages, ones that they don't understand, but God does.

And the sacraments! Oh, my goodness! Where, I'm constantly asked, is the Biblical reference for Anointing of the Sick and Holy Orders? And papal infallibility, while we're at it?

I may have taken religion classes in Catholic school my entire life, but even that is not enough to render me a walking "Catholic for Dummies."

Thanks again for your blog. I've already used your dinner-making analogy to explain why we heretics pray "to" saints.

Did I say something about dinner and the saints?  I don't recall....worse..I probably said it last week.

Your questions involves  a lot of Church Doctrine and Dogma.  I'll try to give you a quick tutorial, but before I do, there is this thing called the "internet" on which you can find things like "The Catechism of the Catholic Church" and you can type in a topic and find out exactly what the Church says about a lot of things.  Just so you know.

Here we go!

First of all, we do believe things that you can't find verbatim in the Bible, but everything we believe is derived from the Bible.  For example, there is no mention of Purgatory in the Bible, but in Maccabees (a book that your friends tossed out of their Bible because of this passage) there is an admonishment to "Pray for the dead".  There is no need to pray for anyone who is in Heaven or Hell.  So who are these dead people for which we are asked to pray?  Where are they?  The Catholic Church teaches that that passage must refer to where these people are.  I can't think of another explanation, can you?  They don't have to think about it because they booted that whole book right out of their Bible.  (Which is astonishing, when you think about it?  These are the people are so very interested in the importance of the words God wrote in His book. So interested that they just threw some away!)

The Immaculate Conception falls into this category, too, as does Papal Infallibility.

On we go.

Did you mean to say "Transubstantiation" instead of "Transfiguration"?  The Transfiguration is in the New Testament.  Transubstantiation is when the Host turns into the Body of Christ.  Google that up!

It always makes me sad that the separated Brethren dismiss Mary.  I can't imagine if you had a chance to actually meet the Mother of Jesus, Jesus, who you claim to love so much, that you would just ignore her and not pay her any honor.  God certainly honored her, but that's not good enough for you?  Holy Toledo!  That is just rude.

Next!  Baptism of the Holy Spirit.  This one is tricky. We do believe in that! But they mean something different by that phrase than we do...I think.  We believe the the whole Church was baptized in the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.  We baptize babies and they receive the Holy Spirit, but then the Sacrament of Confirmation brings more gifts from the Holy Spirit when the child is old enough to pledge himself to the Church himself and become a "soldier of Christ".

There are Catholic Pentecostals who speak in tongues, but the Church as a whole has frankly never been particularly comfortable with it.  I think it's because it can be such a slippery slope if you're babbling in some unintelligible ravings.  Possessed people do that, too.

On the home stretch!

Here are the Biblical references to Holy Orders: Acts 20:28; Lk 22:19; Jn 20:22; Acts 6:6; Acts 13:3; Acts 14:22; 1 Tim 4:14; 2 Tim 1:6; Tit 1:5

And here are the references to Anointing of the Sick: Mk 6:12-13; Jm 5:14

I do hope this helps and bless you for hanging around with these people and trying to know what you're talking about!  Come back anytime and we'll keep up the good work together! 

Meanwhile here's a great example of how to use this internet thing. I just did a Google search for "Biblical reference to papal infallibility". I even spelled infallibility wrong in the search! I believe I typed infallibiblity (which is probably just about what your friends think of it).  And here you have a wonderful, clear, concise explanation that will clear up a lot.

But do come back anytime.  Sometimes, it's much more fun to chat than to Google. 

Proceed with Caution

We've had some interesting comments on my comments about the comments that have been made about Medjugorje.  Some people are willing to admit that all that glitters may not be a gold rosary.  Others are more adamant about Our Lady being a visitor.

If you are worried about the length of time the Blessed Mother is with us here on earth, then what will be your reaction when you reach heaven and have the rest of eternity with her?

The kingdom of heaven? It’s here. It arrived with Jesus. And he teaches us that he is with us always.

Medjugorje? God’s merciful love. Tap into it. Receive it. Enjoy it. Live it. There’s more to come. That’s his promise.

Again, we can make our own decisions about personal revelations. I'm sure many people are indeed profoundly effected by their visits to Medjugorje.  But there are very, very good reasons to believe that the committee that studied the apparitions were absolutely correct in their assessment that nothing supernatural is going on here.  And there even better reasons to be extremely cautious about jumping in with both feet to a series of events that are not, repeat NOT, approved by the Church as worthy of our devotion.

So let's take an even closer look at why the Church has come up with this pronouncement.  What is the criteria by which the Church passes such judgment.  There are three major categories for consideration.

1.  Banality or lack of dignity.
This is what the Bishop was referring to when he gave off with that list of all the places Mary appeared, from trains, trees, houses....Remember that list?  It wasn't even complete.  Mary might have been appearing at the bowling alley and in the dryer like she did in Georgia.  The Church didn't approve that one either.

So the frivolity of the places isn't enough for you? How about some of these gems:
Besides predicting a Yugoslavian soccer win, Mary also moved one of the seers watch hands when Mary was asked to leave a sign, left several times because she claimed people had trod on her veil and on another occasion got all smeared and dirty because those present had all touched her cloak and her veil.

Banal and undignified. Check.

2.  An Apparition Teaching Error and Heresy.
I think having any marks in this category ought to seal the deal, but we still have the other two categories and Medjugorje has filled them all.  In any case, here are a two doozies from the hill (or the train or the forest or the grocery store...).  "All religions are equal under God."  That may comfort the separated brethren, but that would also include Hinduism, Wiccans, and Scientologists, would it not?  God may love all His children equally, but He didn't write that whole big book so you could be a Buddhist. 

She also asked not to be an intermediary between herself and her Son and to direct all petitions directly to Him!  What a nonsensical statement!  So why are rosaries turning gold there?  The rosary is an intermediary prayer.  You remember that part that goes "Hail Mary full of grace....pray for us sinners..."?  She can't seem to make up her mind.

3. Undermining the Church's Authority.
Jan. 1982: The Virgin states that two Franciscan priests, removed from their order and under suspension by the bishop, one of whom later fathered a child by a nun, may continue to say Mass and hear Confessions. Vicka the seer is asked "If the Lady said this, and the Pope says that they cannot..." Vicka answers: "The Pope can say what he wants. I'm telling it as it is."

Yikes.  It was our current Pope Benedict who defrocked that priest.
There are quite a few more examples in all three categories.

But the Holy See may give Medjugorje tacit approval in some way, perhaps with shrine status. It has already issued statements that the pilgrims must be pastorally supported and that is happening.

In fact the opposite is true. The Church has removed the shrine that had been built.  The statements that have been issued about pilgrims being pastorally supported is so that the faith that come there are not lead astray by these events that do not have any support from the Church.

And another Pope Benedict (XIV) that said this: 


"We must suspect those apparitions that lack dignity or proper reserve, and above all, those that are ridiculous. This last characteristic is a mark of human or diabolical machination."

Mary All Over Town

Sister, what is going on with Medjugorje now anyway? I've been hearing mixed things about it.

God bless:)

And you will continue to hear mixed things about it, mainly because people who go there are crazy for it. Perhaps I shouldn't put it that way.  "Deeply moved by the experience" would be another way to say that, wouldn't it?

On the face of it, Medjugorje is quite a phenomenon.  Six children receive regular visits from the Blessed Mother.  She brings messages of peace.  The town, in a war torn country, becomes a cradle of peace and prayer, an oasis of all things good.

Meanwhile, virtually everyone who visits there is impressed by the experience.  Rosaries turn to gold,  a bleeding Host appears in the sun, statues drip with holy oil and visitors leave with a sense of peace that is profound. This has been going on, with no let up for over 20 years now.

The visionary children have grown up and gone away, and one by one, Mary stopped appearing to them, or appeared less frequently.  At least one of the girls still lives in Medjugorje and Mary appears to her once a month.

Of course, the Church was called upon to give the apparitions Her blessing, so the matter has been examined and studied, and while the official word from the committee is  "cannot be affirmed as supernatural".  Finally, in the early 90's, the local Bishop of Medjugorje wrote a letter stating that he was not a believer (which is putting it mildly).

He had a lot to say about it, but he basically made this point: What is Mary's problem that she can't seem to get her point across to six people for over 20 years?

On top of that, the visionaries have been given 'secrets' about the future and whatnot and the reason that Mary is still appearing to some of them, or two of them or one of them or whatever it's boiled down to now, is that she hasn't given them all their secrets yet.

For me, the most compelling "agin it" argument comes from the commission itself.  These are the people who spent three years interviewing everyone, pouring over diaries and documents and writings and studying everything with a fine toothed comb.  Two of them thought the visions were real, one abstained from voting, two thought that the visions were real at first, but no longer are and eleven of them said the whole thing was not supernatural.

If I had a vote, I'd say no. I haven't been there to have my rosary turn to gold, but this passage from the Bishop's letter has stayed with me.  The visions were initially on a hill.  And then..."she came into houses, into forests, fields, vineyards and tobacco fields; she appeared in the church, on the altar, in the sacristy, in the choir loft, on the roof, on the church steeple, on the roads, on the way to Cerno, in a car, on busses, in classrooms, in several places in Mostar and Sarajevo, in monasteries in Zagreb, Varazdin, Switzerland and Italy, once again on the Podbrdo, atop Krizevac, in the parish, in the rectory, etc. It is certain that not even half of the places where the alleged apparitions have taken place have been mentioned, so much so that an earnest man—who venerates the Madonna—asked himself: "My Madonna, what are they doing to you?"

What are you supposed to think?  Whatever you like.  You don't have to believe that Fatima was a supernatural phenomena, either.  The Church says it was, but as it came through "personal revelation" (through the visionaries of Fatima), you can do with it what you will.

There is only one thing, as far as I can tell, that you are forbidden to do, and that is to organize a pilgrimage there based on the idea that the apparitions are real and have the blessing of the Church.  You can still have a pilgrimage there and come home with a gold rosary.

Paraphrasing St. Augustine:  In necessary things unity, in undecided things freedom,and in all things charity.

Post Traumatic Stress Dreamer

I'm not a doctor, but I play one here on the blog:
Dear Sr Mary Martha,
I have a friend who has quite vivid dreams. She would quite often thrash around, talk and even shout in her sleep, while dreaming. Sometimes, she would even cry in her sleep.
I love your blog, but have always been very 'shy' in making our 'lurking presence' known. But, I had to ask you for a patron saint for my friend who has not had a dreamless sleep ever since she could remember. And I hope to be able to get some divine intercession before it escalates. (She swatted me in her sleep a couple of nights ago!)
She had very unhappy childhood and I have prayed for the Lord's healing on her and had taken her to healing Mass, but it doesn't seem that she is healed, at all of her past hurts and unhappiness. And 70-80% of the times when she got upset in her sleep was because she was dreaming about her parents and/or her past.
The both or us are ok with our Lord's plan for her in this suffering, rather than rush Him. But is there a saint that can help in carry her cross sometimes or fix a wheel on it so it's not so heavy?
Thanks, Sr Mary Martha!

There certainly are saints for that.

But there are also medical solutions for that.  She should be evaluated at a sleep clinic.  It sounds like she is suffering from a parasomnia called REM sleep behavior disorder.

First of all, no one has dreamless sleep.  When REM sleep (the phase of sleep during which dreaming occurs) is not present, people become psychotic very quickly, literally overnight.  People who say they do not dream are wrong.  They dream.  They do not remember their dreams.

It would not be good for her to take her dreams away (unless you want a full on psychotic on your hands), but there are medications that can stop the flailing.  It also sounds as though she could use some therapy, to help her deal with her past.

My favorite saint for sweet dreams is St. Joseph.

St. Joseph was visited by angels in his dreams on two important occasions. When he found out his virgin wife was with child, he was not a happy man.  An angel explained the situation to him in a dream and the rest is the history of the Catholic Church.

It happened again when the Three Wise Men stopped to ask for directions.  The one time in history when a group of men actually stopped to ask for directions and what do they do?  Ask the evil King where they might find the "new" King.  What were they thinking?

An angel came to Joseph, again in a dream, and warned him to get his family to safety.

That is some helpful dreaming.

I also recommend St. Michael the Archangel, fighter of demons no matter where they are found.

St. Anthony Finds His Own Book

My husband, who depends greatly on St. Anthony for helping him find things, is wondering about the book. I will try a search, but just in case, could you fill us in? Incidentally, My husband has been enlisting St. Anthony's intercession regarding lost items for years, but didn't even realize that that was his patronage.

Yes, supposedly St. Anthony's patronage of finding lost objects stems from this story:
Quite some time after St. Anthony left this mortal coil, a book that was a relic of his went missing.  Since the book was a holy relic of the saint, everyone was duly upset and prayed for the intercession of the saint for its safe return.

The book reappeared.  But the explanation was not miraculous.

Some novice had it.  He had borrowed it and was very embarrassed to have caused the commotion.

So that's that.

Have a nice weekend everyone!  Don't forget to turn your clocks back!  You'll have an extra hour.  Use it wisely!

Patron Saints for Dark Times

It's not all chuckles and grins in the world of patron saint matching.  We'll keep this reader in our prayers:

Dear Sister Mary Martha,

Love your blog!

My nephew and his wife recently had a baby boy. My nephew has been battling a rare form of cancer for several years and now the battle is over. He is preparing to die. Is there a patron saint for this situation?

How about a saint for restoring one's faith after it has been shaken to the core because of this set of circumstances?

Also, I am in the process of selling my small business and am wondering which patron saint I might pray to for a successful outcome. I found patron saints of business people, but couldn't find anyone to help with selling a business.

Your assistance is much appreciated!

We are so sorry for your family.  How very sad.  When we say God works in mysterious ways, we are not kidding.  I'll spare you the platitudes about doors closing and windows opening, and instead call on the angels for grace and comfort.

Yes, of course are patron saints for your needs.

First up: St. Bernadette of Lourdes, who knew the healing spring was not for her.  She spent her short life battling terrible and painful illness, but faced her seemingly cruel fate with grace and calm.  Her life was certainly not what she would have chosen for herself.  She would have preferred to be an anonymous peasant who got married and had children and died of old age in the village. Instead, she became wildly famous, vilified, questioned and harassed.  She went to the convent because she could not stay in the secular world after Our Lady appeared to her.  While in the convent, her Mother Superior treated her with relentless disdain until the day Bernadette died.

And yet, Bernadette was not unhappy or bitter.  Whatever she wasn't given in life, she realized the enormous gift that had been bestowed on her.  A message from Heaven.

Secondly: Faith Shaken.  Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta and her famous "dark night of the soul".  She's not the only holy person who struggled with their faith.  The term "dark night of the soul" is a very old one that speaks to the turmoil that seizes so many people who spend their lives trying to do God's binding, only to have life spit right in their faces again and again.

As a young nun, Mother Teresa had a visit from Jesus, who told her to go do what she did with the rest of her life.  But after Jesus told her what He wanted, He never spoke to Her again.  Now, where one might think, "Well, once Jesus actually speaks to you, He shouldn't have to tell you twice, or come back and cheerlead your efforts."

And that's true.  In fact, that is the reason that the visionaries of Medjugorje have recently been suppressed.  They had daily visits from Mary all these years, and the local bishop finally just said something to the effect of, "What's the matter with Mary that she can't get her point across?"

What, indeed.

But for Mother Teresa, if wasn't just that Jesus no longer spoke to her.  She felt as though He was gone altogether. She eventually came to terms with what this meant to her when her confessor pointed out that this was her opportunity to join with Jesus' suffering, specifically "the Agony in the Garden".  She was happy with that, although it took her most of her career before she ever arrived at that thinking.

And yet, she did it anyway.  She lived a beautiful and significant life in this world.

And finally, St. Joseph, the buyer and seller of real estate is good for buying and selling business.  He is that patron saint of workers, after all.

But on your prayer hats, readers! This family needs you!

Candy Bowl

Before the onslaught of princesses and zombies I thought we could clear up a few questions and comments from readers we've had, rather like a bowl of candy left out for the taking:

Animals do not have immortal souls. They are, however, a sign of God's pure love for us. So why would that be taken away? We know that there will be plants in heaven, they don't have immortal souls either, so why not animals? And specifically, why not the pets we have loved? It is, of course, all speculation, but will not the Judge of all the world do right?

An eternity in Heaven isn't enough of a sign of God's pure love for you?


I have addressed this question before and for me, the answer is two part.
1.  If your dog gets to go to Heaven, then every animal that every lived should go, too.  Every rhinoceros and opossum, every iguana and crocodile, every toad, frog, elephant and hyena. Your beloved pet is not  any different from any other non-immortal soul creatures. It isn't fair that just because he had a bowl with his name on it, he gets to go and they do not.

2.  That means your animal has to be a dog or a cat for all eternity.  That's not a nice thing to wish for your beloved pet.  In fact, its seems a little mean to me.

Moving along, a reader gave me an award! But had my name wrong.  That's okay, but the actual Sister Mary Margaret took notice:

@NC Sue - It's Sister Mary MARTHA, not Sister Mary Margaret!

I know, I know, what's the difference? Well, for starters... I am me and she is she. Also, she is a Lakers fan and I am a Spurs fan, so we probably can't even be friends during certain times of the year! (J/K, SMM!)

Prayers,
Sister Mary Margaret

Actually, I am not a Lakers fan.  My last post was Chicago, which is where I picked up my love of basketball, back in the heyday of the Bulls.  The Lakers were our arch rivals and I never got over it.  After I came here (and I have been here longer than I've been anywhere!), I tried to get on board with the locals, but I just can't.  I don't know why.  There is no logical explanation.

I truly enjoy basketball and I appreciate a team that functions as a team.  So that was the first strike against the Lakers.  They've gotten better at it, but I can't seem to be impressed.  I will admit that when I watch them play I find myself rooting for whoever it is they are playing against, even if I don't like the other team or don't know a thing about the other team.

And I love the Spurs!  I also love the Boston Celtics, the Bulls, and although I've never been big Mavs fans, I was thrilled for their win this year.  

Sister, Can you tell me who is the patron or patronness of those with Alzheimer's or dementia? Is it the same as patron of those with special needs or mental retardation? Some searching has led to St Dympha, but I thought that mental illness was different? I did search through a couple of years of older posts, to no avail. Thank you and keep up your great ministry.

I'm with you on this.  For one thing, poor St. Dymphna gets inundated with all things 'crazy' from actual mental illness to sleepwalking.  It was her father who was unbalanced.  She had this in common with St. Barbara.

A better saint for people who are mentally unbalanced would be St. John of God, who actually was mentally unbalanced himself and was able to find stability through God.  But no one thinks of him that way.

Except me.

But for Alzheimer's, I would have to recommend St. Anthony.  We all know that he is the patron saint of finding lost objects, or lost anything, so that would be enough right there.  And most people think that the reason St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost items is because of an incident with a book.

But I disagree that this is the reason!  The truth is that St. Anthony had an amazing memory himself.  He was a fabulous speaker.  Why? Because he was one of those people who could remember everything he ever read. He had what people call a "photographic memory".  Which is why he remembers what you did with your car keys.

Cat Heaven

We have had many arguments here on the blog about whether or not animals go to Heaven. I am a staunch believer that they do not, as they do not have mortal souls.  My old nuns taught me that as a child. It made sense to me then and it makes sense to me now.

But should I turn out to be wrong and Fluffy and Rex get to Heaven, it might sound something like this

Jesus Appears

We've discussed the use of sacramentals and objects that remind us to keep the faith quite often.  There are those that we love.

Those that we don't love.

and many that are just a matter of taste.

I don't much care for football Jesus and Jesus sports statues. Many people do. It bothers me, for one thing, that He's taking sides.  And if you think this is okay, how about when we add the Crown of Thorns?

That said, I would always rather err on the side of "whatever floats your boat" when it comes to what calls to people.  Don't fix it if it isn't broken.  If it's working for you, go with it.

But Banana Jesus?

That is a black spot on a banana, not a message from God.  No.

 And Peanut Butter and Banana Jesus?  No. No. No.  Somebody call Elvis.

In keeping with our sense of compassion, I can only hope this person lovingly fashioned this food sculpture and thought of the words of Our Savior while doing so.  A fleeting hope.  Because next, you have to either eat that Jesus, or throw Him away.  Neither option works for me.

I suppose when the banana darkens in the air, it will actually look more like Jesus than Vincent Van Gogh or Kirk Douglas playing Vincent Van Gogh in "Lust for Life".

Meaty Monday

Since it's Halloween season....


...which, by the way, used to be just Halloween, but now, since the decorations go on sale in August, the houses are decorated by Oct. 1st and the parties started last weekend, we can safely call Halloween a season....


...I thought it might be okay to quote someone who would cause your hair to stand on end. Proof that no matter what our differences, we can find some sort of common ground.  I read an essay the other day by Penn Jillette, the bombastic magician and atheist, and found myself in total agreement with his premise, if not his conclusions.  I'll stand by with a blow dryer and a brush to help you look normal again after you read it. I don't think it will make you feel happy.

"Christian used to be a throwaway word. People didn't used to use it much. People didn't start self-labeling or getting labeled Christian until the last part of the 20th century. Before that, you might identify as a Baptist, or a Southern Baptist or a Methodist. But there wasn't one identifier that put you in a fold with all the other believers.

In fact, every religious cult was afraid of every other religious cult. The bugnutty Pentecostals didn't want the bugnutty Methodists to have too much power. There was no "Christian nation" for the simple reason that the Christians were afraid of one another. America was founded on Christians not trusting each other, and they sometimes seemed more willing to reach out to the godless than to someone from another sect."  Penn Jillette

He was making a political point about the power of the religious right in the op-ed piece and the rest of the article will cause your standing up hair to burst into flame, so I won't bother you with a link.  (Los Angeles Time Op Ed, Oct. 2, 2011, for the thick skinned) But that notion that America was founded on Christians not trusting each other rang like church bells to me. Why did the Puritans come here?  Because they were booted out of England by other Christians, that's why.  What happened to them formed the basis of our separation of church and state, which was an amazingly good idea coming from people who thought anyone not white wasn't really exactly all the way human and who thought that dunking people who might be a witch to see whether or not they floated or drowned and if they drowned they weren't a witch and if they didn't drown they were burned at the stake.

This is all in reference to our recent discussion about the mistaken notion that various religious orders are separate sects, a fantastic notion in the true meaning of the word fantastic. (–adjective

1. conceived or appearing as if conceived by an unrestrained imagination; odd and remarkable; bizarre; grotesque.

2. fanciful or capricious, as persons or their ideas or actions.

3. imaginary or groundless in not being based on reality; foolish or irrational.)From a reader:

So now I'm really confused. If Jesuit's, Dominican's and Franciscan's all have the same basic believes of the Catholic Church, which is basically to lead us to a closer union with Jesus Christ. What is the difference of being Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, or Catholic, in leading us to a closer union to Jesus Christ? Oh, I forgot about the Pope.


First of all, the various religious orders do not have the same "basic beliefs" of the Catholic Church, they have ALL of the beliefs of the Catholic Church, or they are not an order, they are suppressed or ex-communicated.

So, yes, we can start with the Pope.  That's not a little thing.  Jesus put someone in charge, so for His followers to not believe that there's someone in charge because Martin Luther and King Henry the VIII didn't like that idea is a big problem.  


But the various Christian denominations have a lot of other deal breakers going for them, important things like what they believe about the Holy Trinity, whether or not Jesus'
Presence in the Eucharist is real or symbolic, works vs. faith (which, as far as I can tell, totally confuses everyone, especially the 'faith only' crowd).  The list is unbelievably long.


So long, that I can tell you I once met a former preacher who told me about his life in the tents.  He was a tent preacher and he was from a family of tent preachers.  He was a believer, too, not one of these phony Margo Gortner money grabbers.  He told me about a huge donnybrook between two Christian sects in the same town.  One believed that you should always dip the bread in the wine and the other believed that you should have them separately.  There was a huge fight that left all sides not on speaking terms.  I guess a bunch of them were comprised of those people who don't want the food on their plates to touch.


Let me tell you the rest of his story, too, as it is pertinent to our discussion today.  He traveled the country preaching in tents for most of his life until one day he arrived in Florida. He was admonished by the Christians there for allowing black people into the tent and when he scoffed at this ridiculous notion, his tent was burned to the ground.  He quit preaching and applied his skills of persuasion to selling vacuum cleaners door to door.  True story!


So you can see why Mr. Jillette's thoughts struck me as they did.  It's why I wrote this, so long ago.

On the Gridiron

Hi Sister,

I was in a discussion recently with a Protestant friend who insists that the Catholic Church is just as fractured as the Protestant groups. I was sort of taken aback and had to dig deep to figure out what he was saying since the only real "fracture" I could think of was the Great Schism. Apparently he was referring to the differences in the Catholic orders, like the Franciscans, the Dominicans, the Jesuits, and so on. He has been taught that the different orders are like the fractured Protestant faiths, the Methodists, the Lutherans, the Baptists, and so on. How can I explain the difference to him? How can I show him that the Jesuits are just as Catholic as the Benedictines, that they have a different name but they're all part of the same team? Do you have a good analogy? I don't know what to say to him. Thank you for your help!

Well the poor thing.  There really is no end of misinformation available for the separated brethren.

Although, the Great Schism isn't the only "fracture" in our illustrious Church history.  Anti Popes spring to mind.  At one point in time, we had two Popes, one in Italy and one in France.  Since neither of them would step down, a third Pope stepped up and then he wouldn't leave either.  Don't worry, it all worked out.  As you can tell, there is only one Pope now.

I think your analogy of all playing for the same team is brilliant!  Pick a sport he likes.  Football?  They're all playing football.  Some are centers, some are place kickers, some are quarterbacks.

Some orders teach, some spend all their time praying for you, some nurse.  They all play for that one team and they all play the same game, but their job in that game differs.

I would call myself a running back. My job is to get the ball further down the field and, if possible, score a goal.  What is the goal? Getting my soul and yours to Heaven.

The people who populate different orders within the Catholic Church have one thing in common, they believe every single thing the Catholic Church teaches.  The Catholic Church will not give its blessing to groups who believe otherwise.  If a group believes something different, they will not be allowed to be an order.  And if the group somehow comes to some wacky conclusions after they have formed and been approved, they get the boot, orderwise.  It's really not possible to have an order that is not fully in harmony with the teachings of the Catholic Church.  If they are, they are no longer a Catholic order.

I hope this helps.  I don't watch football.

Tweet Tweet

The weather here suddenly turned blazing hot, and if that wasn't enough fodder for me to offer up to the Poor Souls in Purgatory, I have a splitting headache, no doubt caused by the change in barometric pressure.  Or something.

I have some important Halloween related statements to make, but Heaven only knows what babble might occur should I try to address our readers devilish concerns today. 

I thought I'd drop by just the same with a moment's refreshing pause.

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, No.

I realize that stores put out their Halloween decorations on July 5th, but is it just me, or does everyone already have their lawn done this year?  Our neighbors have a whole graveyard out already, which has caused the annual march to our front door to kick in.

Years have passed since 'the incident', so I'm going back to JoAnn's today. Thanks in advance for your prayers. Which brings us to today's question:
Great post Sister! I have a question in regards to your older post called "Every Waiter Has a Screenplay, But God Doesn't" when you talked about free will in regards to God's will. I really do believe that God gives us options on how to complete His ultimate Will for us, but is one option better than the others? What if all the options seem equally as good, how does one decide? Thanks for your input!:)

You're going to have to put your big girl dress on and choose.  You don't have to choose in a vacuum.  You can discuss your options with people you trust, your confessor, people who know something about you.

What not to do: discuss it with anyone who will listen. People have their own agenda and their own baggage and may have had a bad experience with something that might be a great choice for you.  I had a woman tell me to avoid going to visit the LaBrea Tar Pits because it was a depressing awful place where little robins still get mercilessly stuck in pools of tar.  I loved it there. No birds were stuck in anything and the hologram of the the only human being ever found stuck in the tar (an ice age woman who was a murder victim) is fascinating.  When people ask me what touristy thing to do in Los Angeles, I always send them to the Pits.

Weigh your options.  Think carefully about what happens next when you make your choice.  I was recently chatting with a gentleman who is active in AA.  He told me that one of the things that helped him stay sober was a trick he learned from his meetings, to play the scenario all the way out.  "What happens when I have just one drink?  To begin with, I ruin five years of sober living.  And then, I think I can 'handle it' so I drink more, and I start missing work and missing important things in life like weddings and birthdays and then I get arrested for drunk driving and lose my job and maybe go to jail...."   He was very specific.  Be specific.

What not to do:  waffle back and forth until you've forgotten your own name.

And the most important step, pray.  This is where the rubber meets the road, prayerwise.  So many people pray as though God is a some sort of big box store that has everything you need in stock, if only He'll just send the stock boy to the stock room and drag it out for you.

Prayer is a communication with God for the strength and grace you need to make the right choices to stay in harmony with His Will.

What not to do: listen to dreams and voices, especially if you have a fever of over 101.
Also, no coin tossing, Tarot card consultation or tea leaves.

Occupy Compassion

Good Day, Sister!
I was wondering who would be considered the patron Saint of protesters?

Thank-you!

Off hand, I'd have to say you'd want to look for a patron of what you're protesting about.


FOR EXAMPLE

St. Francis was not a logger or a protester, but there he is, right in the thick of it.  And really, isn't that what makes a saint?  Someone who was willing to put himself in the thick of it? Maxillian Kolbe springs to mind.

For our current rebellion, I'd recommend St. Joseph, the patron saint of workers.

My favorite saintly protester is St. Lawrence, who was told that he had three days to turn over all the treasures of the Church to the government.  He spent three days giving away everything he could as fast as he could and showed up on day three with every pauper, wino and leper he could find.  "These are the treasuries of the Church."

That went over like a lead balloon.  But, way to take a stand St. Lawrence!

Since these protesters are camping out, you could go with one of the many, many hermit saints who took to the desert and lived off of ants and leaves, if they ate anything at all.  That's a lot harder than ducking into a Starbucks when you're parched.

St. Conundrum

Dear Sister,


I am also a Protestant that thinks your reasoning regarding the saints make sense. But today you discouraged people to ask for the prayers of someone that has not been canonised.


If I have understood correctly there has to be two miracles connected to the intervention of a certain (dead) person for that person to be canonised.


How do the intervention take place, and how do you know that this "saint to be" is in it, if you are not asking for that persons prayers before they are canonised?

You got us. We're crazy and we make up the rules as we go along. Sometimes, we just run around with our hair on fire.

No, we don't.  But I can certainly understand your confusion.   You make an excellent point and I'll try to explain it to you as best I can.

Deep breath.

We didn't always canonize saints.  It went like this: You lived a holy life, honored and noticed while you were alive for your wonderful holiness and service to God and man.   When you died, we wept and wailed and hung around your tomb. We think you're the bees knees and we just know you had to have gone right to Heaven, you holy thing you, and we prayed for your intercession.  After all, you just got there, and everyone will be welcoming you. What better time to ask you to ask for a favor. Or a thousand.

For hundreds of years, that's how saints were made.  By popular demand.  By a cult growing up around the saint.  Put your hair out.  All cults aren't bad.  The Boy Scouts of America spring to mind.

But a few folks slipped in there that, well, let's just say we realized that everything that a group of people thinks is wonderful isn't actually wonderful.  A lot of people watch "The Real Housewives of Where Ever".  That doesn't make it wonderful, or even a good idea.

The Catholic Church is not a democracy, after all.

It's not just the miracles that make a saint.  How do you become a saint?

1. Die.  Although we do talk about people being saints while they are alive, technically a saint resides in Heaven. Period.  Everyone who is dead and in Heaven is a saint.

2.  You will have had to have lived an exemplary life.  You will have had to have demonstrated heroic virtue.  That's why, even if you weren't so hot most of your life, if you die a martyr, you are automatically a saint.  The Church will have to decide if that actually happened, though.

3. You will be studied and dissected.  You actually will be dissected a bit.  We have to make sure you existed, so we will dig you up and take a few bones for relics. Then we'll put you back, often in someplace nicer.

4. Someone will have to ask the Church to consider doing all of this.  Someone will have to petition the Congregation for the Causes of Saints to open a case for you.

5. After they do that, we can ask for intercessory miracles.  That's just to prove you made it to Heaven. First you have to be declared "Venerable",  meaning, worthy of veneration.  After you have one miracle, you will declared "Blessed" and after two, you're in.

Obviously, you were in anyhow, but we're not going let people run around praying for the intercession of dogs and empty coffins.  You may notice over there on the sidebar, there's a book called "My Cousin the Saint".  It's written by a guy whose cousin is a saint.  The cousin was recently canonized.  It's a great read and explains the entire process in a very personal way.