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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I am so very sorry for all you single gals. I really meant to get here and get you ready for the Feast of St. Agnes today and, as usual, I am a day late and a dollar short.

In order to have dreamed about who your intended will be, you needed to fast all day yesterday and then eat and a hard boiled egg with salt before bedtime.

I didn't need to tell you about the Feast of St. Agnes...I needed to tell you about the EVE of the Feast of St. Agnes.

Please accept my apology.

For future reference (next year) you'll be ready with your egg. Of course, you might be married by then. Let's hope not. If you haven't even met your intended yet, it probably isn't wise to get married that fast, especially if you haven't been blessed with a dream from St. Agnes point out the right fellow.

I've never quite understood why St. Agnes is so helpful to women who are husband hunting.
St. Agnes was martyred precisely because she didn't want to get married. She was supposed to marry a Roman prelate and refused, wanting to maintain both her Christianity and her chastity. It was nothing personal. She didn't want to marry anybody.

There is no question she is a saint to be revered. One of the requisites for sainthood is extraordinary virtue. When Agnes shunned the marriage she was shamed by being paraded through the streets naked and tossed into a brothel. Luckily, her hair miraculously grew and covered her. Even after that the prelate had the nerve to bother her in the brothel and was struck blind.

Or dead. It's an old story, so the details are a little soft.

But Agnes, saintly girl that she was, restored his sight.

Or his life. Whichever it was that he lost in the first place.

Then she was martyred. One can't help being struck by her remarkable bravery. She was twelve years old.

Still, her story has absolutely nothing to do with finding a husband and just about everything to do with avoiding one. Apparently, besides being really brave she is also very broadminded.

So now you know....for next year. If you don't like eggs there are a couple of other methods.

You can take a sprig of rosemary and a sprig of thyme, sprinkle each three times with water, and put one in each shoe. Then put one shoe with its sprig on one side of the bed and the other one on the other side of the bed while you say this:

"St. Agnes, that's to lovers kind,
Come, ease the trouble of my mind."

Doesn't it seem to you that St. Agnes would be more helpful to people who struggle with chastity? Oh well.

Or you can take a row of pins, pull them out one by one, and stick them in your sleeve, while singing a Pater Noster (Our Father). This will involve some sacrifice on your part, because it will mean a trip to the fabric store, or the craft store. My shoulders come up around my ears just thinking about it.

If you like to travel you can try this method: spend the night in another town. (Please avoid the local bars! You may meet a man there, but he will NOT be anyone you want to dream about, let alone marry!) Before going to bed, take your right stocking and knit it to the garter from the stocking on your left leg, singing as you do so. Then lie on your back in bed with your hands under your head. With this method, not only do you dream of your intended, he'll actually kiss you in the dream.

The problem with this last method, as far as I can tell, is that the only place you can get a garter these days is the type of place in which you should never be caught dead. St. Agnes would be the last person to approve, no matter how kind she is.

If you are determined to find your intended this year, all is not lost. St. Valentine's day is just around the corner. There is some method with bay leaves you can use. I'll find out and get back to you...this time with time to spare.


seeking_something said...

hee hee
This is sure to make non-Catholics think that Catholics are wackos, if they don't think so already. Hey folks, at least it's a message of hope and at least nobody's asking you to fork over $$$.

CMinor said...

Well, you could get the garter from a bridal shop--would that be all right, 'Ster?
But knitting the stocking to it sounds like it could be a bear. I suppose that was the "sacrifice" part of the deal back in the day whan you had to make your own stockings.

CMinor said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CMinor said...

Sorry--double post.

cattiekit said...

That's quite all right, c. To err is human. :>)

'Ster - I'm *really* looking forward to the bay leaf story. :>D

Anonymous said...

I like these story at least they give hope ,and they are full of innocence childish.
I will try the one with egg.