Sink Your Teeth Into It

It's Labor Day weekend, so besides the fact that today is the Lord's Day of Rest, we have the bonus of an easy breezy lemon squeezy Monday. Here are two questions that we can practically answer in our sleep.

Dear Sister,

My mother and I are hoping you can suggest a patron for my father. My parents, my siblings, and I were all raised in the Episcopal church. My mother, my sister, and I have converted to the Catholic Church. Our sons (Mom's grandsons) have been raised Catholic. The problem is with my father.

He does not attend church or mass. He says that he is convinced that the Catholic Church is the only real church but we can't get him to attend mass. My mother isn't after his entering the Church, yet. She'll work on that once we have him attending. (I'm all for praying for the whole ten yards...) Any suggestions for patron saints or novenas?

We appreciate any and all help.
Beth

First, let me refer you to the Stealth Catholicism of the Green Scapular.

And then let's think for just a moment about St. Paul, the greatest apostle next to St. Peter. You do remember that story? Paul, then Saul, was in the crowd holding the coats for those people who had set about making St. Stephen the first martyr.

Then he spent some time rounding up Christians and doing his best to see that they were persecuted. And then Jesus had something to say about Saul's activities. He knocked Saul off his horse, asked him what he thought he was doing, and gave him a new name.

St. Paul is a great patron saint for anyone seeking a 'come to Jesus' moment.

Hi, Sister, who is the patron Saint for teeth - I'm trying to grow mine back?

Are you seven years old? Because, if you are, then they will grow back all on their own with no help from heaven at all, save that which God, in his wisdom, put in your mouth in the first place.

If you're not seven years old, your teeth will not grow back. If your teeth were to grow back, it would be a miracle. I have two suggestions. The Miraculous Medal, for starters.

And then you could maybe pick a "Blessed" someone or another, a person waiting for canonization and the official title of "Saint" and pray for their intercession. Who knows? You could end up being the miracle they need for the finish line.

For more information on the canonization process, read the terrific and inspiring book, "My Cousin the Saint" by Justin Catanoso. You can pick it up just by clicking the little box on my sidebar.

The More Things Change the More They Change

There is a smell. Not a bad smell.

But not a good one. It is oddly familiar. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. A kind of sickly sweet smell. At the same moment that I figured out from whence it was emanating, I also nailed down the sad familiarity. We bought some new garbage bags. They are scented.

And that smell...old lady perfume. Granny hankies dipped in what used to be called 'toilet water'. Seriously, why would anyone put that on? The name ought to be a big hint that the scent is not going to go over very well.

I'll be offering this one up for the Poor Souls in Purgatory for months to come. We are so good at recycling that we only use one garbage bag per week. The box holds sixty bags.

Meanwhile, I was happy to get this question after we discussed Father Juniper Serra the other day.

Was it always two miracles or was it three at one point?! I could be wrong- two miracles is quite something, considering, as you said, who is going to pray to someone for their intercession anyway if they are not already a saint! Very informative post- thanks!

You are one hundred per cent correct! And then...not really.

The third miracle rule was more like the 'and heir and a spare' mentality of a monarchy.


The Church was always happy with two miracles, but went for the third miracle to seal the deal. There is actually a movie called "The Third Miracle". It stars, Ed Harris, who reminds me so much of my brother, they could be brothers.

As movies go, it actually is a useful lesson in how the Church works at determining sainthood. Ed Harris, my pretend brother, is from the Congregation for the Causes of Saints. He comes to town to interview people who knew the saint candidate and to investigate the alleged third miracle.

I don't remember all the details. There were Nazi's in it. The third miracle was that the saint had caused bombs that were falling on a village not to drop. She wasn't dead and in heaven at the time. She was a little girl...I think. Ed Harris couldn't find anyone living who had witnessed the event. And the almost-a-saint needed that third miracle. There had since been two miraculous cures. Or maybe it was one miraculous cure and a bleeding statue. I don't quite remember.

But...and here is where the plot really thickened...there was one person living that had witnessed the event, but no one knew he had been there. It turned out that the priest assigned to be the Devil's Advocate on the case had been a young Nazi at the time and didn't want anyone to know his ugly past and so was blocking the whole sainthood thing to hide his own shame.

It's a movie, folks.

That was something else in that film that has been dumped by the wayside. Not only did the Church drop the third miracle requirement (it is only two now), the Church also dropped the "Devil's Advocate".

This was a move by Pope John Paul II, who canonized more saints than any Pope in history.

Of course he did! He dropped the Devil's Advocate and the third miracle!

The Devil's Advocate was a person assigned to argue against the cause for sainthood of the person in question. As the Devil's Advocate, it would be your job to refute any and all 'evidence', from deeds of heroic virtue to supposed miracles.

I have to say, I am still sorry to see the Devil's Advocate go. There should be vigorous debate. I assume there still is, but it just seems more efficient to me to have someone whose whole job is to defend the anti sainthood cause. After all, we have a whole "Congregation for Causes of Saints", we ought to have at least one "person against the Causes of Saints".

I'm sure the job was not a pleasant one. It's never any fun to be the wet blanket on everyone's saint party. Still, we must do what we must do.

Anyhow, as remarkable as the" stopping bombs from falling" miracle was, I don't think it would actually count as the third miracle. I believe any miracles for the cause of sainthood had to occur after the person is dead. That's the whole point of having the miracles, to prove that the person is in heaven.

The devil is very tricky, but he doesn't go around doing good deeds. Miracles come from heaven. I have to be dead and in heaven to be a saint and the only way to prove that I'm in heaven (because proving I am dead will be a snap) is to have a miracle based on my intercession.

So I don't think that bomb falling would count, even though it actually was a miracle.

If you really want to get the inside scoop on saint makers, check out that book I've had sitting over there in my sidebar for months on end. "My Cousin the Saint" is a very good book anyhow, and a tutorial on the whole process.