Passed Over

Dear Sister, there is a friend of mine who keeps on arguing with me that we Catholics do not celebrate Passover especially during the designated time of the year like when the Jews used to.  Please help me.

Where in heaven's name did you get the idea that we Catholics DO celebrate Passover?  Does your family have a Seder? After Temple?  Does the youngest child ask what's going on with this dinner and then someone explains the flight of the Israelites from Egypt?  Then you ate apples and honey and bitter herbs?  Is this plate in any way familiar to you?

Matzo, anyone?

I am utterly baffled by this question.  Certainly, we come from a JUDEO-Christian tradition.  Jesus and just about everyone He knew were Jews.  Everyone that started the Catholic Church was Jewish.  St. Peter and St. Paul had a huge argument about letting non-Jews become Christians at all.  (Guess who won?) The Last Supper was actually a Passover Seder.  But on Holy Thursday, when we recall the Last Supper, Seder has nothing to do with the Mass we celebrate.  We celebrate the New Covenant Jesus has brokered with God for our Salvation.  We recall moment when Jesus gives us the Holy Eucharist (which happened at this Seder dinner).  The Old Covenant is over, along with sacrificing doves and  Yom Kippur.

And our "Elder Brothers", as the Pope calls them,  still celebrate Passover every year.  What's this "like they used to" thing?  Pretty soon now, you'll see Matzo go on sale at the grocery store.  And that  wine.

I hope your friend keeps on arguing with you. There are Catholics who celebrate Seder for, I guess, historical re-enactment purposes or in the spirit of ecumenicalism.  But they're on their own.

God is Love

What should I say to people who accuse me of believing in a "Pixie in the sky" and fairy tales because I believe in God and ask me for proof that He exists? (Or do I just ignore them?) I feel like I should say something, but it's quite hard to say anything that will convince someone who starts out with these views, as they usually get ruder with each attempted defence and I don't have your gift of making sense of everything.

My absolute honest answer is to run, run as fast as you can and don't look back lest you turn into a pillar of salt.  At the point where someone is accusing you of sprinkling pixie dust, nothing you can say will convince them otherwise. The truth is that the entire reason they want to engage you at all in this discussion is to belittle you.  You may as well dance a hulu and sing "Here Comes Santa Claus" as try and testify to your faith.

Unfortunately for you, (and me) Jesus would prefer that we didn't do this. He didn't do it to the point where He was crucified for not shutting up.  He could have just shut up. He chose not to duck out.

Here is the tactic I employ.  I try not to answer right away.  I ask them what they believe. Everyone believes in something that is unseen.  Love, for example.

"Do you believe in love?"

"Yes, of course."

"How do you prove it really exists?  Neurologists say that emotions are complex neurological states in the brain that motivate us to act."

"You can show love, in how you behave toward another person."

"That is absolutely true.  Although....once in a while we find people who we believe love us because of what they say and how they behave toward us, only to be betrayed by them, or hurt by them, or beaten up by them, or murdered by them.  How do we know when love is true?  How can you tell when love is real?"

"Well...you just...you can..."

"Tell that to my friend Ruth who just got dumped by her boyfriend of three years.  Love exists.  But it can't be proved, except through time.  The answer about love is that you just have to take the risk, take the leap of faith to experience it or stay alone and lonely."

"That has nothing to do with a big man with a beard in the sky who makes up rules and sends floods to bad people."

"I think it does.  But I'm not that smart.  I like to read what actual smart people have to say. Like Einstein. He's the smartest person I can think of.  He recognized the impossibility of a non-created universe.  Einstein believed that God reveals Himself in the harmony of what exists, which actually is what motivated Einstein's interest in science.  He once said, "I want to know how God created this world, I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts, the rest are details."   He also said, "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." So, if you want to argue with someone, go argue with Einstein.  And good luck with that."

The truth is you are not going to be able to make sense of everything.  But neither are they.  If they try to explain how the world works, they are going to have the same difficulties you do.  No God?  No afterlife.  I'll bet they believe in ghosts, though. Most people do.  How do they explain that, besides admitting their own cognitive dissonance? 

In the end, it may be the best you can do to say, "I have not been rude or belittled you for your beliefs. I cannot prove to you that God exists anymore than you can prove that He does not, so I'll thank you to give me the same respect I have given you."

Make sure you have indeed done that. All people are God's creation. Even the rude ones.

You Don't Need a Patron Saint, You Need a Nerd

Sister Mary Martha,
I could use a all-purpose patron saint.
I have recently returned to school to obtain my college education and earn my degree in nursing.
My difficulties started the first day. English, the one subject that I thought I would do well in, in going right straight down the toilet. Our teacher wants us to work exclusively with the computer and the internet. Nothing could have frightened me more, except the fires of Hell, of course. I am all but computer illiterate, having confidence only in the simplest of tasks.
I already have a 60 in English. My teacher said I didn't save my paper in rich text format. Huh?
When I ask her show me something on the computer, she becomes visibly agitated and states that I must learn to use the computer, or I simply won't succeed in college.
Now, due to heightened anxiety, the narrative thesis statement, outline, and bulleted list looms large before me. The assignment was assigned Friday, are due Monday. This Monday. Help!

Oops.  I hope it all turned out well for you, as I missed your saintly deadline.  We can always look to the saints for help.

But.

Your teacher is correct.  Your professors can't hand hold you through the rest of your college career.  They call it a college "career" for a reason.  You are going to be doing it for some time to come, and to succeed at it, you'll have to approach it as the job that it is.

If you were working at Target, and the manager said to you, "We're getting in some new registers that you'll have to learn how to use",  you would never dream of saying, "Oh, I'm computer illiterate so I'll just flap around with my hair on fire until you sit here with me and show me how it all works until I get it down."  You'd play close attention to her instructions, and then you'd figure it out.

Get a grip.  Computers are SO EASY to use now.  Everything you'll need to change file formats is practically self explanatory. Have someone show you that. Computers: what was once actually rocket science, is now child's play. 

I'll do it.

Here's how you change file formats. When you save your document, under the bar that asks what you'd like to call the file is another bar that allows you to change formats. Click on the little arrow and a list of choices will appear. Click on the one your teacher wants.  The computer will do the rest.

I just don't think you need a saint for that.  You might need a sixth grader.

That's not to say that you won't need, or don't need Heavenly help.  I suggest St. Catherine of Sienna, who spent much of her career writing letters to people telling them to get their act together.

The Union Label

re: unions - I expect she would be shocked and appalled at the los angeles teachers unions who have not stood up and spoken against those teachers molesting those students FOR YEARS, or objected to their receiving pensions and health care for life because they happened to file their 'quitting' papers before the 'your fired' papers get submitted. Makes you question unions, it does.

Actually, it doesn't.  Especially in the light of our own scandal in the Catholic Church which will take a century to overcome.  We will live in this glass house throughout our lifetimes and beyond.  Shall we get rid of unions and the Catholic Church?  Your logic applies to both.

How best to help the poor on a large scale, that was the question facing Dorothy Day.  As Jesus noted, "The poor will always be with us."  Apparently, even He needed a break from the crushing burden of the endless stream of destitution.

He did spend most of His time, however, telling us that we should go ahead and help them, because as we care for them, God cares for us.  Hence that "lilies" speech.  And those Beatitudes.  And all that compassion.

I wouldn't worry too much about anyone getting a union pension.  The guilty party won't be receiving it in prison.

And frankly, as I mentioned yesterday, here is where we all have such a hard time with Jesus and His radical thinking.  We still must have compassion for the perpetrator.  Too hard, right?  Too bad.  Jesus did not turn to the thief on the cross and say, "Well, you deserve this."  We must always have hope that the sinner will return to the table.  "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."  He didn't add, "Unless the sin is really, really bad, then have at her."

I'm a member of a Union and it has helped me and many like me be treated with respect by our Employers (it must be said that my managers have all been fabulous, but Corporate Policy is often quite abusive of employees in my business). That said, some Unions have too much power, or use their power for very selfish ends. It doesn't make them all terrible, just like my former corporate overlords being awful doesn't make all corporations awful. I'm not sure why we make politics such a team sport in the US - it's always Us vs. Them, Good vs. Evil. Like Dorothy Day or St. Augustine (grant me chastity, but not yet) it's such a contiuum of shades of grey.

My point, exactly.  Sometimes the balance swings too far in one direction or the other, in just about everything, from what we eat to who we vilify.  Jesus' radical ideas of love and compassion for all, sinner and saint is a good place to begin the conversation.  That's how Pope Leo XIII did it.

Class Warrior

So we were invited to a Super Bowl party last evening, which turned out to be a party of four.  Sister St. Aloysius stayed home with Sister Mary Fiacre, and I bumbled over to be sociable.  We enjoyed the game and then, inevitably, because my neighbor is excruciatingly involved in politics at the local level, the conversation turned to neighborhood activism.  Most of the time, I have no idea what she is talking about.  I function as a sounding board in which her sound goes in and never comes back out. As I result, I have no clue as to how the topic came around to millionaires and billionaires and the quandary they have as to what to do with all that money.  I came to around the time she was saying something like, "You can only buy so many pairs of shoes."

"I don't think it's that difficult," I ventured. "They could randomly pay a year's worth of rent for  some people.  Or they could pay the Cobra payment of $400 per month for a year for a family or two so those people could use what is a lot of money to them for other necessary things.  It wouldn't be hard to find those people. The billionaires only need to walk out the door."

She was greatly taken aback.  Then we ate carrot cake.  Which brings me to today's question from a reader:

I was wondering- do you think, realistically, that Dorothy Day will ever be canonized?


(Thanks again for making a post giving me St. Nicholas as a saint of advocates of children. It has meant a lot to me)

You're welcome.

I'm not holding my breath on Ms. Day.  But never say never.  She is officially a "Servant of God", which means her cause to become a saint is being examined.  There are stumbling blocks.

To begin with, she was no saint.  She lived with a man, off again, on again, for many years, had an out of wedlock child with him and before that, she had two abortions.  She was a radical activist.

But...

She had her daughter baptized as a Catholic and then she gave up her life of sin under the guidance of a local nun (Sister Aloysius!--a different one).  St. Monica must have had her back. So that's good. Sins are forgiven. The prodigal daughter is embraced.

Then there is that radical activist part.  I'm not sure how the words "radical" and "activist" have become so demonized, but they most certainly have been demonized.  The two radical thinkers on which Dorothy based her activities were Jesus and St. Francis of Assisi.

Let's not pretend that these two were not very, very radical.  They were indeed so radical, that few people, if anyone, have been able to keep up with their radical ideas and activities.  It's too hard.

The disciples of Jesus were continually questioning Him, warning Him to dial it back, asking Him if He really meant to say this or that.  And Jesus was continually admonishing them that, yes, not only did He really mean that, He really meant to take it much, much further. (Or do I mean farther?  Both, really.) His "consider the lilies" speech completely sums that up.  So do His last "marching orders" to His disciples.

And St. Francis of Assisi followed those marching orders to the letter.  I think we want people who have radical ideas that are superb to also be active.  Maybe it's just me.

Dorothy Day's inspiration for her radical social ideas about how to help the poor were drawn from the Doctrine of the Catholic Church, specifically Pope Leo XIII's encyclical "Rerum Novarum" (1891).

The problem, as far as I can tell, is that these ideas have become live wire political footballs (too many metaphors?)  Unions, for example, have been steadily vilified.  While I realize that the pendulum may have swung a bit far in the labor rights favor at some point,  I imagine Dorothy would like to remind us what life was like for workers before they had the right to unionize, how many people were murdered while asking for their rights and that there truly is such a thing as social justice.

She might make it yet.  If the Church can determine that she lived a life of heroic virtue and two miracles are attributed to her, she's in.  I find it difficult to imagine that will happen any time soon, in this political climate.  As we sit here today, she would assuredly be accused of "class warfare". People like Dorothy Day are always shouted down.

But so was Jesus.

The Walls Came A Tumblin' Down

So lately, we've been talking a little about the Bible and the End Times and how confusing that all is and in the middle of all of that, we got this question:

Speaking of the Bible, I have been reading it (but also the footnotes and Catholic interpretations!) and I am sort of flummoxed by one book: Joshua. In it, Joshua and Co. go into the future promised land, kill everyone (young and old, man and woman) and take the place for their own, all because God told them to. I've tried to find a Catholic answer for how this is okay, but no one seems to answer the question. Some apologists have said "God gives life and can take it away", which is fine by me, only God isn't doing the taking. God is telling people to invade another land and commit genocide on the inhabitants! It's not even a war of defense. How are we to understand this book? Did God really tell the Israelites to do this to the letter? Did Joshua misinterpret Him? How could God command his people to do something evil? Am I missing something? Please help!

I can't.  I don't understand it either.  How's that for frankness?

It seems to me that if something is bad, slavery for example, it's always bad.  And if something's good, like monogamy, it's always good.  And if something is important to God, like sacrificing doves and lambs, it should always be important.

At least we can get our brains around the idea that God's Son sacrificed Himself so we don't have to stock the garage with pigeons to atone for our sins. There's one down, anyhow.  But no one bothers to ask why God ever wanted all those dead animals in the first place.

But slaughtering a whole village, babies included? When would that ever be okay? God doesn't care about kittens?  Because they got washed away in the Great Flood, too.  So did those cute baby monkeys.

So I can't help you, except to say that, I just leave God to God.  If you take a look at His creation, you'll be pleased to note that He really knows what He's doing.  For example, He thought to make us waterproof.  What if, every time you got wet, you had to wait to drip dry, or "lay flat to dry" like your good wool sweater.  I would not have thought of that if I were making a person, or a frog.

We were just talking yesterday about the Last Judgment and how that will be what is thought of as a "general judgment" in which whole populations are judged all at once.  No one seems to be concerned that innocents will be lumped in with that judgment.  I don't see how one is different from the other, really.

Apparently, God went with a general judgment and asked Joshua to carry it out.  (I do think that if Joshua had misinterpreted what God said, Joshua would have heard about it from God.)

Maybe the slaves and the extra wives were a good idea because they all converted to believe in one God.

It's a Sacred Mystery, as far as I'm concerned. And you know what that means.

End of the World II

We've heard from readers who have weighed in on yesterday's post. I always welcome everyone's two cents, because together with mine, we have four cents and before we know it we can buy candy.


I thought the judgement after you die is the "personal judgement" and at the end of time is the "general judgement" at which all people (the quick and the dead) will be united to their glorified bodies (which will be doubly great if you then go to heaven and doubly bad if you go to hell).

Yes, there is that.  I thought I would keep it simple, since the next thing you know, once you start talking about Judgment Day, people start selling their houses and walking off into the wilderness.  It has been a personal pet peeve of mine that whenever there is talk of the "End Times", people in every era since the death and resurrection and Ascension of Christ into Heaven were completely certain that THEY were living in the End Times.


The run up to the End Times has the peculiar distinction of applying to every age: wars, famine, evil and crazy weather.  Wait! That's happening now!  Must be coming tomorrow!


I try to point out to people that things were much, much worse at other times in history than there are now, but, having not personally experienced any of that for themselves, even though they watch "Downton Abbey" and watched the History Channel before it turned into "What Hillbillies Are Up To Today", they don't believe me.


I try to not point people in the direction of reading up on it, as they inevitably walk away scared to death with their hair on fire.  But here we are.  Let's skip the build up for how we know the End Times are coming since, although there is a list of 'signs', the Bible also tells us we will never know the hour.  Here is what the Catholic Church has to say about the Judgment itself (and may I suggest you grab a soothing cup of tea, take a deep breath and open both ears so the information can just flow right back out again):

The Roman Catechism thus explains why, besides the particular judgment of each individual, a general one should also be passed on the assembled world: "The first reason is founded on the circumstances that most augment the rewards or aggravate the punishments of the dead. Those who depart this life sometimes leave behind them children who imitate the conduct of their parents, descendants, followers; and others who adhere to and advocate the example, the language, the conduct of those on whom they depend, and whose example they follow; and as the good or bad influence or example, affecting as it does the conduct of many, is to terminate only with this world; justice demands that, in order to form a proper estimate of the good or bad actions of all, a general judgment should take place. . . . Finally, it was important to prove, that in prosperity and adversity, which are sometimes the promiscuous lot of the good and of the bad, everything is ordered by an all-wise, all-just, and all-ruling Providence: it was therefore necessary not only that rewards and punishments should await us in the next life but that they should be awarded by a public and general judgment."


I know. "Blah, blah, blah", right?  What are you to glean from this?


1. What I said yesterday.


2. What I left out yesterday: that if you are already dead and in Heaven OR Hell, you will be reunited with your physical body.  Which I believe is a very good incentive to stay in shape. This is eternity we're talking about.


What are we to make of this "general judgment" stuff?  A few years ago I had jury duty.  We sat in the jury pool room all day. They had told us that once the clock struck four, we would have missed out on being called up and we wouldn't have to come back, that our obligation would have been met. At 3:45, they called us in to begin the process.


It was too late in the day to do anything but nail us all for duty the next day. We were instructed to come back in the morning at 9am sharp OR ELSE.  There was a young man and his lawyer and maybe his mother in the courtroom.  He looked like what people would call a "gang banger".


So, at 9Am the next day, back we were.  The boy was not there.  The judge informed that a deal had been struck and we were done.  On the way out, we all packed into the elevator, expressing our relief and speculating about what had happened.  Referring to the young man, one lady said, "Well, he must have done something or he wouldn't be there."


And I said, "That's exactly what the Dutch said about Ann Frank when they led her family out of the attic."


I believe it gave her pause.


What are we to make of the General Judgment?  Let's not be the Dutch.

It's the End of the World as We Know It

Sister, can you help me sort out some things regarding the Hereafter? On the one hand, we've got Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory, with the assumption that people go to one or the other of these places when they die. On the other hand, we've got the Last Judgement, when Christ will come and sort everybody out to the place they're supposed to go for the rest of eternity. My understanding is that "everybody" means both the living-on-earth and the already-dead-on-earth-but-whose-souls-are-living-someplace-else-now. Am I wrong? Will Christ only sort out the quick and not the dead? Or am I just confused all the way around? Because I don't get how people can now be in heaven or hell AND have Christ later make a last judgement on their souls when the end times come.

It's not rocket science.

Here you go, into the afterlife.

1. You are a saint, or die the death of a martyr.  Straight to Heaven with you.  We'll be asking for you intercession and congratulations on your canonization!

2. You are normal.  You're not a bad person. You're fairly decent. You try hard.  But you've never been able to forgive Aunt Minnie for totaling your car that New Year's Eve in 1982.  You have worn your skirts too short until someone pulled you aside and explained to you that you're 52 and no one is interested in your thighs.  You feel entitled to some paper clips and legal pads from work because heaven knows they don't pay you enough. You're jealous of your sister.  You don't even know why.
Purgatory for you, my dear. We don't know for how long.  We'll pray for your fast release.  Watch for St. Patrick.  Some believe he delivers a few souls every Saturday. You might want to shoot for a Friday passing.

3.  You are Hitler.  Straight to Hell with you.

(Now....we never say that anyone is in Hell for sure. Even Hitler.  In his final moments, he may have realized what he did wrong and been deeply sorry and asked Jesus for forgiveness.  Short of that, straight to Hell.)

So that's that.  But....

4. You're still alive when the Mayan calendar gives out and here comes Jesus.  You've lived until Judgment day.  Scary!  There's no time left for Purgatory, so Jesus is going to have to make a snap assessment.  Heaven or Hell for you?

So, you might want to check your hemline now, because we both know the Mayans have no clue when Judgment day will actually occur.  You will be so chagrined if the ground opens up and swallows you, as you watch Aunt Minnie get shot up to Heaven because she was so very sorry about your car and she never touched another drop.

The Last Judgment is for people who are alive to experience it. Everyone else is already where they are going or about to go.  Heaven and Hell are permanent.  Purgatory is a guarantee of an eventual trip to Heaven.

Does this help?  Because otherwise you can do what I do when I don't understand what God is planning.  Chalk it up to  "It's a Sacred Mystery"  which is "Catholic" for "just let it go."

Going Gentle Into That Good Night

I must apologize to this reader for the delay in responding to this question. I thought we should get a start on the week before we tackle the tough stuff.

Dear Sister,
I need to pray for my mother. She suffers from Alzheimer's to the extent that she is completely unresponsive to any stimuli.


She always told us that she would never want to be a 'vegetable', and put a no heroic measures in her will- but she has been kept alive for 2 years in this state and the Dr s say that she may well live on for another 5 or more...


Can I pray for her release? I fear that she is trapped, alone, in a totally unresponsive husk of a body. Is there a Saint who would help?

And thank you for your wonderful blog.

Of course you can pray for her release, and yours.  But take heart.

Perhaps, because of her suffering here and now, she will zoom straight to Heaven, bypassing Purgatory altogether.  I often thought about that when my own father declined with the glacial slowness that chipped away at his fatherhood, his manhood and his humanity. Surely, this counts for something!

Your job, in the meantime, is to make sure that her human dignity and the honor due her as your mother is maintained to the utmost.  I'm sure that is exactly what you are doing, in every way, with all of your heart.

And also take heart that although she is indeed trapped in that husk of a body, she may also be visiting happy and loving moments from her life, or communing with angels.  And if she isn't, she soon will be, because although it all seems like endless suffering eternity now, in the great scheme of things, even 5 years is a very short time.

In regards to a patron saint....there are quite a few saints who were paralyzed, desperately ill, unable to speak, "trapped" as you put it.  They did not pray for release, but accepted their suffering with joy. That's why they are saints.

But it's perfectly okay for you to pray for your mother to have a gentle passing as soon as possible. That would be good old St. Joseph, the patron saint of a happy death. We believe that Mary and Jesus were with St. Joseph when he died. What could be happier than that?

Modern Maladies

It looks like this is shaping up to be a patron saint matching week.  It's one of my favorite hobbies! So, let's have at it.

Thank you, Sister for the time you take to entertain and educate us. I hope you can help with a Saint matching for me. I have a friend who has been recently diagnosed with conversion disorder. The case is very severe and she is completely disabled and unable to care for herself. She requires in home nursing care and her family is suffering terribly, along with her. I do what I can to help from time to time, but I know that prayer is the only thing I can do to help her all the time. 

I have to say, it has been quite an interesting situation for me to have so many people educate me about so many things I know nothing about.  Finding patron saints for modern maladies has been an exhilarating challenge.

I really thought "Conversion disorder?"  It called to mind a recent "Dear Abby" letter of a woman who was insulted by her born again friend's constant needling about where the woman would end up after the Last Judgment.  I'm sure any readers who saw this question in the comments section went running to the Google.  I certainly did.


Conversion Disorder is a psychological state that causes a physical reaction.  The person simply shuts down.  No one knows exactly how it works or what exactly causes it, because the person afflicted can't tell you about the the mental torture that's caused them to live it what surely must be a very private Hell.  I was thinking it must be a lot like catatonia, but the word catatonic was not used to describe the symptoms.

But a patron saint sprang to mind as I read about the disorder: St. Rosalia, the patron saint for people who just need to get away from it all.

Little Rosalia was a descendant of Charlemagne!  But in an effort to live a holy life, she took herself off to be a hermit and lived in a cave.  After a few years in that cave, she moved to a new cave and then one day, the cave caved in on her.

She had been long forgotten by then, so no one even noticed she was gone.

So Rosalia took herself away from life, too. And unlike her, your friend has people who care about that and want to protect and help her. No one has forgotten her.

In the end, no one forgot Rosalia either.  When a plague hit Palermo, Italy, Rosalia appeared to a man and told him where to find her bones.  He unearthed her, brought her home, and many people were cured.  There is still a big party in her honor every year in Palermo. 

I have a little side note for her family: St. Gemma!  She was bedridden for so long at home with her family caring for her. The whole Galgani family are surely saints in Heaven.

Buttons and Bows

 It's a rainy Monday here, so let's cheer up and start the week on a happy note, shall we?


Dear Sister Mary Martha,


Do you have a suggestion for a saint to help with depression and anxiety - mostly anxiety?


Sincerely,


Jenna

Let's take a look at the issue of depression and anxiety from a slightly different angle today, shall we?

Before we begin, let's admit that depression and anxiety can be due to chemicals in your brain and that you may want to seek medical attention, that it may indeed be very important for you to do so.

That said, I normally shove people in the direction of Mother Teresa of Calcutta because she famously suffered from what is known as  a 'dark night of the soul', which is a fancy, theological way of saying she felt abandoned by God and was very depressed about it.  Being the busy gal that she was, she must have had a good deal of anxiety about that. Her book outlines her depression and anxiety.

But today, let's also admit that many of us feel depression and anxiety because the world around us makes it seem as though everybody else is doing pretty well, living happy lives surrounded by loved ones.  They are all out there posting pictures of their dogs, snuggled in the bedclothes, and the kids, smiling from ear to ear in the snow.  They send emails quoting hopeful messages of love and inspiration.  Their houses are cleaner than ours. They don't have a lot of junk on the floor of their cars and they don't forget appointments or birthdays.

  THEM

 

YOU

 Or, just when you do feel rather happy and relaxed, you realize that there are people suffering and dying and starving, there are wars, shootings, murders, chopped up people, dogs being kicked and yet another political debate scheduled for this evening.

So let's find a patron saint for that type of depression and anxiety, too.  Lo! and Behold! Her feast day is today!  She hasn't been canonized yet, but only because they haven't set a date for the party!

This little German girl grew up in Utica, New York, worked in a factory and became a nun.  She was a born leader and quickly became a Mother Superior, over and over again.

She ran a hospital.

Meanwhile, over in Hawaii, a leprosy epidemic caused the government to dump all the poor sick people together on one island.  Just dumped there. Good luck to you, lepers!  At least the weather's nice!  There were so many of them, they couldn't check them onto the island fast enough. A call went out to the nuns in the Mainland.  Anyone care to come and help out?

Sister Marianne Cope took 6 nuns, all with their hands eagerly in the air to go along, and spent the next 30 years caring for the lepers.

And what does all of this have to do with depression and anxiety?  Sister Marianne couldn't stand the depressing atmosphere. Why should these poor sick people, doomed by their disease and corralled onto an island, have to live out their days slumping around in despair? Why shouldn't they find some joy in life?

She established a school for girls and made sure they had pretty dresses!  She drummed up parties and generated entertainment.  She found joy where there had only been sorrow.  And she put a brightly colored bow on it.

She probably invented clipping plastic flowers to flip flops.  I made that up.  But she would have done that if she had some flip flops and some plastic flowers.

In any case, she was beatified back in 2005.  But just last month her second miracle was confirmed! She's in!  Be sure and wear a pretty dress on the day she is canonized.

The Patron Saint of ADD

Hi Sister! I need your help with helping to choose a confirmation saint for my husband. Well, he needs your help. He's an artist, but also really into comic books. He's got really bad ADD, and has a hard time finishing things. He also is a revert and came to the Church a bit later in life though he was baptized Catholic. I thought Augustine would be great, but he's read about him and doesn't feel like they have a lot "in common." Any thoughts? A couple he could read up on would be great!

Yes! I would recommend St. John of God.  He is one of my favorite saints, bouncing rootlessly from one thing to the next until he had a complete nervous breakdown.  Then he became a hero. How's that for really bad ADD?  He also came to the church later in life.

And!  He sold holy cards.  I know it isn't comic books, but they didn't have comic books back then.  People don't seem as fascinated with holy cards these days, but when I was a child there was always a stock pile of them at the back of church and a pack of different ones from which to choose at every funeral.  I still have a large collection left from everyone in our family who has gone to where the woodbine twineth.

The boys always liked the ones that were rather gruesome, like St. Lawrence being roasted, or St. Sebastian shot full of arrows.   St. Bartholomew having his skin peeled off was a big hit.

Personally, I liked variety and gravitated toward action pictures, rather than a picture of some old saint with his head bowed, staff in hand, book in the other.  I liked St. Mary Magdelene, draped over a big rock, praying for forgiveness.  St. Rita with a heavenly light drilling a permanent hole in her forehead.  Or if they were just going to stand there, at least be standing with something interesting. St. Lucy with her eyes on the plate.  St. Catherine of Alexandria with her giant spiked wheel.

I'm sure I came by this interest because of the statues lining the aisle of my parish. There were pillars all the way up both sides of the church and each pillar had an almost life size statue of a saint.  I'm sure some of them were life size, because people used to be much smaller.  I used to stare at them until their eyes blinked.  Ever do that?  If you stare long enough their eyes will blink.

But I digress.  If your husband likes comic books, he also likes heroes.  St. John of God became a hero. He ran a makeshift hospital, begging to get the beds, blankets and equipment he needed.  When it caught on fire, he carried out the patients and then went back in for the precious mattresses. As a result, he is also the patron saint of firefighters.

Quite a character, John of God.  A great saint.

It's a Jungle Out There

Hello Sr..You have mentioned bible study on ur own is a recipe for potential danger..could you explain.

Ur?  This is not a text!  For the next twenty minutes, please write the word "your" on the blackboard.

It's not just me.  Because the Catholic Church realizes that a lot of the language and imagery in the Bible is loaded with symbolism and layers of meaning, the Church in Her wisdom would rather you didn't dig around in there on your own.

On top of which, which Bible are your reading? Which translation?

Digging around in the Bible on your own is rather what caused the giant mess of denominations that now crowd the planet.  Martin Luther was mad at the Church, thought the authority was corrupt and advised everyone to skip the 'middle man' and just interpret the Bible for yourself. As soon as that happened, everyone had their hands up, yelling, "I think it means this!  I think it means that!"  And the next thing you know you have Calvinism and Puritans, Methodists and Seventh Day Adventists.

Hence my admonishment "a recipe" for disaster.  You can follow the recipe by reading any history of the origins of the various Christian denominations. One group of people sitting in pews doesn't agree with one little thing that some of the other people sitting in those same pews think that one little passage in the Bible means and the next thing you know they've built their own pews and before you know it, you have Jim Jones preaching in a remote jungle to get away from everyone else's interpretation.

Yes, we'd like you to actually read the Bible, by yourself even.  But before you find yourself in a jungle drinking Kool-Aid, please then go back and read about how the Church interprets what you've read.  And if you're going to sit around in a group and discuss it all, make sure to do some research about tonight's passages before you have a bunch of hands in the air, yelling, "I think it means...."

A Soft Place to Land

Sister, Would you please guide me to a patron saint. These are my issues: I work full time as a school guidance counselor, I am married and have three children. My son is a nice young adult who has graduated from college and lives successfully on his own. My daughters are a mess. Both still live at home. The oldest thinks partying is her main purpose in life and she has a daughter out of wedlock. The youngest suffers from mental illness and struggles from day to day. Needless to say I feel stressed and am often vacillating between being angry, frustrated, and worried sick. I would really appreciate your guidance. Thank you your blog really is a bright spot for me.

You need to head straight to St. Monica.  Her child was a mess, too.  He ended up being a Doctor of the Church. Her husband was no picnic, either, but her prayers straightened him out as well.

When we ask a saint to pray for us, just the same as when we ask our friends to pray for us, we pick a saint who we feel understands our travails.  But I think St. Monica is a good choice for another reason.

Keeping in mind that St. Monica has no power to help out except through intercessory prayer, like anyone else who might pray for you, clearly, prayer is something at which Monica really, really excelled.

Keep in mind one other thing: Monica led by example.

One of our wonderful readers who left a comment suggested Our Lady of Perpetual Help.  I couldn't agree more.  For me, she is the soft place to land when life pushes your to your wits end.  You know that saying that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle?  I don't believe that.  Whoever said that just made up something that sounded good.  Life kills people all the time.  PTSD, anyone?

But God has provided us with grace and sanctuary, and one of the many ways he has done that is through Mary.  God provided us with a mother, Mary the Mother of God.

Go home to mother!  Here is the prayer to Our Lady of Perpetual Help:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known, that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, oh virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petition, but in they mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

If we back away from the fancy language what does the prayer say?
Mary, everyone knows that you have never turned a deaf ear to anyone who has asked for your intercession.  This makes me feel safe in asking for your help, even though I don't feel much like I deserve any help from anyone, let alone, you.  Thank you for your compassion for me.

And hey, everybody! Can we please note the word INTERCESSION, right in the prayer, there? Thanks.

I think teaming up with Mary will help your stress level enormously, knowing you have two very powerful pray-ers, on your team.

One word of advice.  Stop being a doormat for that girl.  If she's out too late, lock the door. Make yourself available to babysit, only if the child's mother is at work or at school and at no other time. She'll need to find a job to pay a sitter. Set some boundaries, as they say.  She can treat you with respect and pitch into the household (far be it from me to dismiss the idea of communal living!) or she can leave.

I have compassion for her, as she may be behaving badly due to the stress you are all under. But she's going to have to try out some new coping mechanisms.

Also, drop the anger. It's okay to feel anger. It's not okay to harbor anger.  Recognize it for what it is: pain that is not resolved.

Okay, that was more than one word.  Now, you'll have Monica to help you out!

Good King Wenceslas Looks In

We have some lingering holiday questions to address that went wanting while we drank eggnog.  Although I'm sure most have you have now chucked your crispy old Christmas trees to the curb, we still have work to do.  About that Good King Wenceslas number:

I was told that this song was a protestant version of the actual miracle. Supposedly, the truth was that the Duke (he wasn't actually a king)was going to Adoration on a very cold night and the page was his torch bearer. The page was freezing, he walked in the saint's steps, he miraculously warmed up.


The author of the song was a protestant minister and wanted to high light acts of charity rather than, say, Eucharistic Adoration, so he changed the story around.


That's what I was told, and I'd love to know if it's the truth! I care very much because St. Wenceslaus is my name saint. Have you heard this before?

I have not heard that before and it doesn't really ring true to me. While I could see how some separated brethren writing a Christmas carol would change a story from a King going out for Eucharist Adoration to something else, the separated brethren are not high on emphasizing charitable acts as a path to Heaven, either.

The man who penned the Wenceslas ditty,  John Mason Neale, did change around a song to tell his story.  He actually took an old spring song and dumped those lyrics, replacing them with the good king.  Here's the timeline on the whole shebang: Duke Wenceslas the actual person, early 10th century,  Old Spring song ("Now is the time for flowering"), early 16th century, Good King Wenceslas, the Christmas Carol, 1853. 

Was Duke Wenceslas headed out for Eucharist Adoration when the poor man came in sight?  There is nothing to suggest that that is the true story.  Writing about Wenceslas in 1119, a chronicler stated:

But his deeds I think you know better than I could tell you; for, as is read in his Passion, no one doubts that, rising every night from his noble bed, with bare feet and only one chamberlain, he went around to God’s churches and gave alms generously to widows, orphans, those in prison and afflicted by every difficulty, so much so that he was considered, not a prince, but the father of all the wretched.

 This activity, whether true or not, prompted a Pope to get out and walk around in the snow in his bare feet as well.  The Pope and his feet survived the ordeal.

Also, Rev. Neale wrote the song for Boxing Day, another indication that the song didn't change the story.  It's a good Boxing Day story, isn't it?

And yes, Wenceslas was not a king, but a duke.  But he was given the honorarium "King" because of his devotion in spite of his high status.

It is a Protestant song, I'll give you that.  Neale was a big deal in the Anglican church, a big enough deal that his attitudes were suppressed by his bishop for 14 years.

The truly interesting thing in all of this is the story of Neale. He founded  the Society of St. Margaret, which was a group of women dedicated to nursing the sick.  What does that sound like to you?  He founded an order of Sisters.  So right away that was suspect by the separated brethren, separated at this point in time by only 300 years.  They had just lost John Newman to the Catholics and they did not like anything that smacked on Catholicism. St. Margaret, indeed. The powers that be thought that perhaps Rev. Neale was a Vatican plant, sent to subvert their church (that was based on subversion from the Catholic Church).

What goes around comes around, eh?

We don't believe that.  We believe that the Truth has a way of setting itself free.

Rev. Neale was mauled at the funeral of one of his Sisters and he was threatened on other occasions with stoning and people who wanted to burn down his house.  In the end, he and his Sisters survived and thrived, living on to do good deeds.

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

No, you won't have to watch you little sister tear apart the snow man family in the middle of the night because she doesn't want to move.  It's Little Christmas!  The Feast of the Epiphany!

I've talked about the "Wise Men" before.  But what is the significance of these fellows of unknown origin and numbers?  (I, for one, am happy that we've settled on the manageable number of three, because they are the heaviest statues to lug up out of the church basement. Two on still on their camels and on is off his camel, so we have to lug up his camel, too.)  They are here to continue the narrative of Jesus, that He is here for everyone, the poor and the mighty both.

I also particularly enjoy this feast day because we get to visit with St. Joseph again.  We don't hear much about him in the New Testament, although we now keep him busy with patronages from workers to real estate, from a happy death, to the entire country of Italy.

You know, Italy has more exorcisms than any other country?  What's that about?

I digress.

This is the point where St. Joseph is at his best, getting the information that his family is in grave danger and taking swift and decisive, and very loving, action.  He made his way with them to Egypt on foot with no GPS  or Triple A.  It seems that everything went fine for them from then on, except for one small glitch when the Mary and Joseph lost track of Jesus for a bit, which turned out to be no big deal in the lost child department.

St. Joseph gives us such a sense of peace, doesn't he?  He did everything that was asked of him and he made it look easy.  My dad was kind of like that.

I was tickled to find out that today is the feast day of the newly minted St. Andre, formerly known as Blessed Brother Andre of Montreal.  What a good match to put his feast day on this day! He was devoted to St. Joseph.

St. Andre is famous for having built the Oratory of St. Joseph with his simple devotion and persistence.  “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures,” he once said.  But in his lifetime, the reason he was able to accomplish so much is because he had become a rather famous healer, rubbing the sick with oil from the lamps in the chapel at the rectory.  St. Joseph's oil is on sale at the Oratory gift shop. I have some!  Because so many people knew him, people also came to know his cause.

Of course people thought the oil was miraculous, but St. Andre was careful to remind them that it was not the oil the healed, but St. Joseph.

And now, we have to be careful to remind people that when he said that, we, as Catholics, know that is short hand for  'it is not the oil that healed, but the intercessory prayer of St. Joseph'.  The separated brethren are confused enough.  I know it's cumbersome to go around saying, "Pray for the intercessory prayer of St. Anthony" but I think we should consider it.  At least boil it down to "Ask St. Anthony to pray for you"  instead of "Pray to St. Anthony."

Enjoy the day!

Lean Your Ear This Way

St. Gemma was so pretty.


SMM, I have been a volunteer child advocate through the national CASA (court appointed special advocate) program on and off for ten years. Is there a saint for advocates of children?

Of course! Jolly old St. Nicholas!  Santa Claus is the patron saint for children.  The story has a "Sweeney Todd" flair to it.  It seems during a time of famine and evil innkeeper murdered three children, chopped them to pieces and put the pieces in the pickle barrel to cure.

He was planning on passing them off as ham.  Perhaps they were chubby children.

But St. Nicholas came along and solved the crime.  We don't know how he did that.  Perhaps he fancied a pickle and lifted the lid to help himself.  This is why, by the way, we have the "Christmas Pickle",  a German tradition of hiding a pickle ornament somewhere on the Christmas tree. The child who finds it gets a prize. We have two Christmas pickles on our tree.  I can never find them when it's time to take the tree down. No prize for me! And I'm the one who puts them on there in the first place.

I digress.

St. Nicholas rescued the children and miraculously brought them back to life.

Now, while I'm dubious that any of this took place,  I can imagine that you sometimes feel as though you are rescuing chopped up children hidden in pickle barrels.  But that's not really happening to you, either.

It does seem to me that St. Nicholas had a sweet heart, or these legends would not have arisen around him.  We don't have legends of sweet things done by nasty people or even crabby people.  Legends arise from the heart, because of bravery, compassion, strength.

Here's to your bravery, compassion and strength.  I hope Santa was good to you this year.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

Hi Sister, do you have any advice, Catholic advice, for how to get through the holidays when you feel sad, depressed, lonely. I have no energy. I wish there were no holidays. All the advice I read is about how to accomplish your shopping or entertaining. I want to know how to deal with God's birthday when you feel too sad to wish Him a happy birthday. Do you know what I mean?

Happy New Year!  Here I am with an answer to your question, a day late and a dollar short.  I'm sorry I'm so late to answer your question.  Perhaps I am just impossibly early, for next Christmas.

Although, you did say you wish there were no holidays, and there are plenty between now and what we have come to call the "holiday season" because there are three in a row.

Here's the problem, I can't really answer your question.  It would be rude for me to tell you to lighten up, smack a smile on your face and get over yourself if you are suffering from clinical depression.  If that's the issue, you can't do these things.  I understand that.

I might be able to help a little with some perspective.  We live in a time of abundance in everything. Even if we are poor and struggling and eating beans and rice for dinner every night, we are better off than the pioneers coming across the plains in Conestoga wagons eating lard and sugar and losing the little ones under the wagon wheels.  Or the indigenous peoples who were slaughtered to make way for those wagons.

We can eat our beans and rice in front of the tube, travel without too much work involved by sitting on some sort of gas powered chair or couch on wheels. We have an abundance of all kinds of choices of food, types of clothing, freedom of choice in how we behave.

We should already be clicking up our heels in joy and then...(dramatic musical sting) THE HOLIDAYS.  Somehow, we are supposed to ramp up our heel clicking and add even more of everything to everything for about a month.  That's exhausting, and sometimes utterly overwhelming. No wonder we feel sad and let down.

On top of that, we also have a lot of social media where we get to see what everyone had for breakfast and how lovely their lives are and how pretty their children look and how cute the dog is in his Santa hat. No one wants to post depressing things because no one wants to read them or think about them. So we have a very VAST false front. A permeating facade of perpetual happiness and success.

That could make anyone feel sad, depressed and lonely.

The simple answer, if there is one, is to let it go.  Focus your attention on love and gratitude and compassion. Try to ramp those things up.  And yes, smile.  Even if you don't feel like it. I will remind you that it takes less muscles to do that.

I emphasize the word "try".  Because maybe you can and maybe you can't.  But you certainly can't if you don't try a little.  One thing.  The smile.

Or the thank you.

Or the "Happy Birthday, Jesus".  After all, why do we wish people a happy birthday in the first place.  Why do we feel bad when we don't get a happy birthday wish?  Isn't it because saying "happy birthday" is a way of saying "I'm glad you were born"?

If you are not clinically depressed, you really need to examine why you are sad, depressed and lonely.  If your problem is not a chemical imbalance, then yes, I do have some advice for you.

But if you are, here is some advice from someone who bears the same burden.