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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Glorified But No Longer Worshipped, RIP Anna Nicole Smith

We were as shocked as everyone else the other day, while watching CNN to determine the things for which we should pray, to see that Anna Nicole Smith had expired. May God have mercy on her soul.

We were also shocked to realize that we knew who she was, since there really isn't any reason we should know who she was. May she rest in peace.

We knew enough about her to know that we should put the repose of her soul at the top of our prayer list. It doesn't seem to either of us that she was prepared for any type of reconciliation with God. She wasn't even wearing a scapular. Poor thing.

We didn't have to watch CNN very long to see quite a number of pictures of Anna Nicole Smith, each looking very different from one another. I could feel Sister St. Aloysius squirming on the couch next to me. I knew she was about to blurt out another one of her theological brain twisters.

Always one to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, Sister St. Aloysius suddenly asked, "What will she look like in heaven?"

"That's a big assumption," I thought to myself. I'll have to confess that. I mean in a confessional, as a sin.

I knew Sister St. Aloysius was referring to the glorified body of Anna Nicole Smith.

It is the teaching of the Church that when you die, your soul goes wherever it's going to go. (Most of us pretty much have a guarantee of a stop in Purgatory. I know I'll be there. I just hope there are still enough practicing Catholics left in the world to help pray me out, as I will be there quite a while.) Then at the end of time you are reunited with your body in heaven (or hell).

It's your body you are reunited with, the one on your driver's license, not the one you lie about to your doctor and at the class reunion. I think, by the way, that this should be a very good motivation to get in shape NOW. This is eternity we're talking about.

Now St. Augustine surmised that you would be at your peak in heaven. He thinks around age 35. So if you die before 35, you'll turn 35 in heaven. If you're 92, you'll roll back to 35.

Works for me!

The hippies are probably 'bummed out'.

If you are missing parts of your body, you'll get them back in heaven, so they can experience the fullness of the ecstasy of heaven. Maybe not your appendix. You didn't need that here, either. You'll also get them back in hell, because you won't miss out on any part to be subject to agony. I'm sure you'll have your appendix back in hell.

The sum of all of this, your body in heaven, is called the 'glorified' body.

Which brings us to Miss Smith. She has a couple of parts she won't get back anywhere. She would get to shave four years off her age. That would seemingly bring her a little ecstasy. Not in pill form. But if St. Augustine is correct she may go back to the body she had before she became a spokesperson for some diet drink or food or whatever it was. We know Dan Marino will look good in heaven.

I'm sure we'll all look our best in heaven, which for me isn't much of a step up. But we won't care in heaven. Which is part of what makes it heaven.


DewOnAPetal said...

Thank you for that. I'm looking forward to being 35 again.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Aren't we all?

Christopher Clark said...

1. to think or infer without certain or strong evidence; conjecture; guess.
–verb (used without object) 2. to conjecture or guess.
–noun 3. a matter of conjecture.
4. an idea or thought of something as being possible or likely.
5. a conjecture or opinion.

Prety much describes the whole concept of religion, doesn't it?

Lynne Adamson Adrian said...

Hope ANC is happier wherever she went. She sure wasn't having a good time here.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Christopher! Go kneel on dried peas!

Conjecture also would describe a lack of religion.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sister Mary Martha,

You Rock! Oh, no., that was Peter., hold on now. You really are fantastic!

God bless you Sister!

Yes, I am going to Mass today. Yes, I went to confession after I had terrible thoughts about doing bad things to my spouse.

Last week. I will try not to slip up and think terrible thoughts again like that. I will make sure they are worse, so I can't be accused of not having a firm purpose of commitment.
Just kidding.


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fouquette Racing said...


How bad is skipping church on Sundays?

Anonymous said...

I felt badly for Anna N Smith, just like I did for Princess Di and my uncle and anyone else who dies unexpectedly who didn't seem to be leading a very good life. I don't want even my enemies to burn in hell. I wasn't sorry to see Sadam hanged, but still hoped for his eventual salvation - no doubt after an expiating purgatory. So yes let's include ANSmith in our prayers and hopefully see what she'll look like in heaven someday.

Michelle said...

Dear Not a Fan,

What's the point of leaving a message like that? Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you couldn't say anything nice you should keep your mouth shut? Same applies to the keyboard. Great thing about the blogosphere...if you don't like THIS blog you can find plenty other dour ones. No one can please all of the people all of the time.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Dear Michelle, thank you for springing to my defense. Your patron saint surely must be St. Sebastian and you must be as full of arrows as he from your efforts.

Don't worry on my account, however. You don't go through life looking like me or wearing what I wear or doing what I do without developing a pretty thick old skin.

cattiekit said...

You must be talking about the "This post has been removed by the blog administrator" pile of bile.

Glad I missed it. :>)

I'm praying for ANC too. And her late son. And for the future of her infant daughter, who at this time seems condemned to the chaos that characterized Miss Smith's life.

And christopher? Go chew on a tennis ball. Though your unintentional levity *does* brighten my day on occasion. ;>)

cattiekit said...

fouquette racing? I believe our Suor Angelica covered "skipping church on Sunday" in one of her earlier blog entries.

Go have a look! It's vintage SMM. :>D

Sister Mary Martha said...

I'm not so sure I actually covered skipping Mass on Sunday in terms of 'how bad is it?' It's more complex than it seems, it seems.

I have talked about missing Mass and going to Mass for other reasons:

Fouquette Racing said...

I'd better get my butt in church...it's just been so cold!!!

Thanks again for the wonderful blog!!

Kelly said...

I thought we were all going to be 33 in heaven. Didn't Aquinas say that, or am I imagining it? Something about the age of perfection?

Kasia said...


I'm sure that my priest told our RCIA class that missing Sunday Mass without a good reason (i.e. are snowed in, are too sick to get out of bed, etc) is a mortal sin. Is that correct?

Anonymous said...

The CCC makes it kinda vauge, but look up CCC2181 and you will see sickness or caring for a child as 2 "reasons" I have also heard *nonreliable warning* that if it will take you over one hour to get to Mass you are excused (I don't buy that one) but just not going = Mortal Sin from what I can see...
Maybe Sister can clarify or give us some reading material to confirm otherwise, but the CCC is my first stop in checking.

Bill said...

I guess it's just my nature to feel sorry for anybody that's so despondent that they should intentionally or not, take their own life. Having been there and done that, and survived, I know how that goes. At thirty-nine, she had her whole life ahead of her. The only thing I find more upsetting is all the young people being killed in wars before even getting a chance to really enjoy life.

My take on missing mass, is that it's not a sin. I stopped thinking that when I left the RC church for the ECUSA. Jesus never said be there every Sunday or else. That rule was made up by a bunch of old men in Rome with nothing better to do except make every one else as miserable as they were.

It just happens that I do go to church every Sunday. Not because I have to or because I think it's a sin, but because I want to. I want to be there and partake of the Eurcharist. It gives me great joy to participate at the service with the rest of the congregation. You should be there because you love our Lord not because someone made a rule.

Anonymous said...

So Bill,

You dont care for the commandments then? Keep the Sabbath holy?

Also, as a former Catholic who is now out of communion with Rome, You are in effect going down the road to Hell.

Non Catholics are simply ignorant of the one true Church. You however sir, are now damned to Hell unless you repent since you left the Holy Catholic Church.

Want CCC references? I would be happy to oblige you.

You must have left due to improper formation.

What was your beef with the Catholic Church?

Lets talk.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Damned to Hell isn't a very inviting way to welcome someone back to the arms of the church. Please put your finger back in your pocket. It's difficult to talk with an 'anonymous' person.

Mind your own garden.

Bill said...

Off the top of my head I'd say it was people like you who drove me out of the church. It's always such an interesting conversation to speak with folks who think that they know the mind of God.

I'm homosexual. Does that give you a clue. Being told to deny myself the Eucharist because of what I am, does that give you a clue. I doubt it.. People tend to be clueless themselves when they pretend to speak for God.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Oh dear, everyone back to your corners.

Mr. or Miss Anonymous has to go kneel on dried peas.

And Mr. Bill has some reconciliation to work on, which is only his business and God's.

Bill said...

I defer to your wishes good sister.
Having gone through the Catholic school process, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the sisters. And I am reconciled. I am at peace with myself and very happy in my new found place. My congregation is loving and accepting. Pray for me sister as I will pray for you. We may be members of different corporations but we still worship Our Lord and that is all that really matters.

Anonymous said...

Sister, I just discovered your blog and I am so glad that I did. I was a lapsed Catholic for many years. I have now returned to the Church and I am studying our faith for the first time in my life. I have much to learn but I am inspired by you and others on this blog site. (You are very funny, by the way.)

Thanks for all that you do. God bless!

Anonymous said...

Sorry Bill. Sorry Sister.
I did not make the rules the Church did that, and it's fairly simple really. It may seem unfair, but it is what it is. The Church is not a democracy. We can't just pick and chose the rules we want to follow and toss the rest.
Anyway Bill, I do not think for God. I follow what the Church teaches. I may not like some of it, but its not all about me is it? You don't seem very tolerant of people that do respect the rules of the Church, but you want everyone to be tolerant of you I bet.
I had no dried peas Sister so I had to substitute with elbow macaroni.No fun, but I am obedient to rules like it or not.
I have to be anonymous for now.

Bill said...

When you look at all the changes in the Catholic Church over the years, what you will find at the core of the change are people who didn’t agree with the teachings of the church. There was a time when the church looked at scripture and found approval for slavery. That was of course corrected. The Church didn’t care one way or the other about homosexuality until St. Thomas Aquinas took issue with it. There was a time when just being gay was enough to send you straight to hell. Now the church pretty much agrees with the psychologists. The church still doesn’t like it, but at least they’re not trying to send me to a warmer climate. Things change. A more liberal view in Rome would make great changes in the world wide church. That will eventually happen. These things are not decided by scripture but by church politics. With people leaving the church in great numbers, eventually, the bishops will take steps to stem the tide. Change will come, and I am content to wait.

I actually am very tolerant. I just get a little upset when someone tells me I’m going to hell. So let me apologize for getting a little HOT :)

Anonymous said...

Under no circumstances, Bill, does the Catholic Church tolerate homosexual acts. It considers those acts to be acts of "grave depravity." Moreover, both Sacred Scripture and tradition have always declared homosexual acts to be "intrinsically disordered."


Paragraph # 2357 of The Catechism of The Catholic Church

Elena LaVictoire said...

I think Anna Nicole died from, among other things, a broken heart. It's been a mere five months since her son died. That's not nearly enough time for a mother to come to terms with her grief. Add to that all of the changes she was going through from childbirth, maybe a bit of postpartum depression, and I can see the will to live maybe being not as strong as it ought to be.

Sister, I blogged about this, but on one of Anna Nicole's shows she had a tattoo on her leg of the Blessed Mother. She also had one of Jesus. She felt drawn to them and that was the only way she knew how to express it. It gives me much hope for her soul. I hope she is at peace.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the take on Anna Nicole Smith.

About "glorified bodies", however, can't we take a clue from the fact that, after the Resurrection, Jesus was not recognized by many of those who knew Him best? Did anyone recognize His body?
Jesus also said that there won't be man and wife in heaven (when He was being tested on the subject of second wives, as I recall)so I think "how we're going to look" is not something we should bother musing about - although I know you were kidding. I expect we'll all be looking at God.

cattiekit said...


Leave this blog alone for about a day and a half and the excrement really hits the air dispersal unit with a vengeance. SHEESH.

I love bill and our own Sr. M&M. <3 (supposed to be a heart)

Christine the Soccer Mom said...

I remember hearing a motivational speaker once (gosh, I can't recall his name!) who has cerebal palsy. When he was born, the doctors said he probably wouldn't live to see 30. He'd just celebrated his 40th birthday!

He talked a lot about his faith, and about how he knew we'd be whole in heaven. (He wasn't Catholic, by the way.) He said that he looked forward to the time in heaven when he would be without CP and able to do anything. It was very inspirational. I always think of him whenever I hear about our glorified bodies.

dutch said...

Jodi Erickson Tada says that it is not being free from her disability she looks most forward to in heaven but being free from SIN.

That has always stuck with me!

BTW, I am so glad to here about Anna Nicole's tattoos...I hope she choose Christ and is with Him now, enjoying His grace. I am her age (one month older) and for the grace of God, it could have been me...(drugs...men...etc). God's grace and mercy gave me a heart for Him at the age of 29 and I thank Him, that I get to enjoy him.

I gave up Ship-of-fools.com posting/reading for LENT 2007 and Crosswalk.com reading forums/postings.

I did not give up myspace since I am not so addicted to that...and I allow myself to read articles (such as the ones on crosswalk.com)

Giving up chocolate made me rather hard to deal with one year...