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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mea Culpa

Oh, look, I found the computer. Amazing, since I can't find the sofa, the floor or Teddy. We have our Christmas box out, Sister St. Aloysius is counting the sheep (as opposed to counting sheep, something we never have to do around here).

I love going through the Christmas box. I have an old Santa that belonged to my mother. She doesn't know I have it. I'm sure she doesn't mind. I have bubble lights. I mentioned to someone once that I love those things and people have gifted me with them ever since. Delightful. Word gets out.

Getting ready for the big day. Lots to do in the church. Arranging the poinsettias and whatnot. Extra polishing.

It's the kind of work I've always loved because not only am I a Christmas fanatic from a long line of Christmas fanatics, but these happy chores allow for a lot of soul searching. A great pastime.

Here's what's on my mind: I've noticed that once in a while, here in blogland, I seem to rub people the wrong way. And while it's not my intention to be rude, apparently I am just that.

I apologize.

I doubt I'll stop being rude, however. Not because I want to run around being rude, but since I'm not trying to be rude, I never realize that I have been impolite or caustic or venomous. Sometimes the news is bad. I'm not helping anybody by sugarcoating someone's half baked idea that is sure to be a one way ticket to hell with "let's agree to disagree". I'm a nun. I don't have time to horse around with your soul telling you things that will make you feel better. I've had you since you were in the second grade and I've watched you on the play ground since you were five. I have taken away your gum, mopped up your up chuck, made you clap erasers together for an hour after school, sent you home to change into more appropriate attire, made you stand in the corner ...

...I was never a nose on the chalkboard nun....I never made anyone kneel on dried peas, either, although I admit I thought that was a doozey!...

given you my hanky when you forgot your chapel veil, raised money for pagan babies by catching you taking the Lord's name in vein, made you write a hundred times, "I will not be late for school." I also made sure you knew your times tables. That's no fun either. All in a day's work.

I don't blink for one minute about making you feel guilty, guilty, guilty. Guilt is a good thing. It means you have feelings about your wrong doing. That is excellent! If you didn't, you'd be the world's worse sinner or a sociopath. It wouldn't be good for you either way.

Life is tough. A nun's life is even tougher. I have a mission to get my soul into heaven and I have an even higher calling to drag your's with me. I will drag it kicking and screaming if I have to, just the way I had to drag you kicking and screaming off that kid on the playground that drove you to clock him one. I hope you'll forgive me when I don't mince words.

I know you will. Because if you don't, I'll make you feel guilty, guilty, guilty.

I'm kidding. I know you will.

I started this blog because the door to door thing...how is that working out for the Jehovah's Witnesses? I admire their pluck, though. They really don't give up. I think they would slip through the mail slot to talk with me if they could.

Perhaps part of the reason Christmas is my favorite time of year is because it's the one time I can kind of let up on everybody, since the Baby Jesus is here to take care of things, at least until the decorations come down and the snow turns black.

Light a candle for me. I'll light ten for you.


ann nonymous said...


Ever since you put that Santa hat on, I've been trying to figure out who it is you remind me of. I was watching David Letterman tonight (probably a rerun, I think) and it finally hit me. IT'S CHER! The Santa hat makes your veil look like hair in that little picture. Yep, you remind me of Cher with that hat on.

Tonda said...

I appreciate this post so much. Reminded me of a friend of my mothers who was a nun. God Bless her soul. When my mom asked me to shuttle this Sister around a few times on some errands she wanted to run, she always exhausted me. Her mind changed from one subject to the next so fast, a lot of the time I was left standing there with my mouth open not able to get a reply out before she moved on to another subject. She walked so fast,she kept me at a near run all the time and she was easily 35 years my senior.
I loved her dearly and she just tickled me so. She was also short and quick to the point. Never seemed to have enough time in the day to do all she needed. But I knew everything she did she did with Love, and she always gave me a hug before leaving.
I appreciate you taking the time to visit with us out here in cyber space. I found the answer to one of my earlier questions, about indulgences, in a previous post you made. So thank you for that also.

Tom in Vegas said...

"I have a mission to get my soul into heaven and I have an even higher calling to drag your's with me. I will drag it kicking and screaming if I have..."

It's nice to know someone is watching out for us. And even though I may kick and scream along the way, I'll be thankful once I'm there.

Merry Christmas,

Anonymous said...

Last weekend, Parade magazine had an interview with Denzel Washington. He told about how he once was feeling particularly pleased with himself, being such a hotshot movie star and all. He proudly said to his mother, "Did you ever think this was all going to happen?" She said, "Please. First of all, go wash the windows for me. You have no idea how many people have been praying for you when you were being a knucklehead."

My own son has recently been a knucklehead, and he has no idea how many people were praying for him! (Don't worry, I'll tell him.) It's so good to know we have people like Sister, and like one another, looking out for all us knuckleheads...we sure need it from time to time! Merry Christmas to all!

radio45 said...

You aren't bad, sister, by any means. This made me think of a nun in third or fourth grade, Sister Mary Felicitas, the most unhappy nun of anyone's lifetime. It was actually a good thing though, because the class learned the term irony at a very early age!

nicole said...

I appreciate your forthrightness in answering questions. The Truth should never be sugarcoated. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Dear Sister M M, Thank you for being the you God created you to be. I am so nauseated by the sugar-sick pap that passes for spiritual discourse in this day. You are a refreshing shot of V-8 juice -- not everyone likes the flavor, but it's packed with vitamins for everyone. Please continue telling the Truth, whatever its flavor. May God bless you.

dewehe said...


"I have a mission to get my soul into heaven and I have an even higher calling to drag your's with me."

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, Sister!
Blessings to you for a fruitful new year!

Anonymous said...

This doesn't seem to work!

Anonymous said...

What does 25 Dec, a gaudy lighted pine tree, giving presents to others (not to Jesus), and lying to kids about a ficticious red-suited man (Rev 21:8) have to do with honoring our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as a mighty King in heaven?

Anonymous said...

I love your frankness and that you don't sugar-coat. Keep up the great work and Thank You for praying for us.

Feliz Navidad y Prospero Ano

Anna :)

Anonymous said...

Cheeta: The date, the tree, the presents and all are just a jumble of customs that have built up over the centuries around a single idea: the birth of love and light in an often dark world. That's something to celebrate, I think. And for every conspicuous consumer who's forgotten the reason behind the celebration, there are many more who are filled with joy and reverence recalling the advent of the child who would become that mighty king in heaven.

Oh, and the Santa thing? It's not a lie; in my house, it's a way to explain to young children--who are, by nature, extremely self-centered--about the spirit of giving to others. Reread that "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" piece; it says it best.

Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

i could do with 10 candles..one for each child!

Anonymous said...

dewehe - it's CHRISTMAS!!! - leave the greengrocer's apostrophe alone......

Anonymous said...

Yes there is a Santa Claus
His legend is based on the life of Saint Nicholas
His spirit is contagious
He is in the change dropped into salvation army buckets
He is in the toys for tots drive
He is in communities everywhere that have drop boxes and wish trees
He lives in my heart and the hearts of my children, as I taught them to BE Santa Claus and give
He is in the Advent baby shower at my church where we take baby things for the right to life
He is in the social service offices that gather gifts and disperse them to the needy
His spirit is knocking on your heart wanting you to see someone in need and answer that need
The Spirit of Santa Claus is where I find Christmas
When I give I give in Christ's name
He blesses my gift
When I've done it right, giving all the credit to HIM then HE touches my heart with the message
"Well done, true and faithful servant"

Arkanabar Ilarsadin said...

Thank you for this post, Sister. I find it very endearing, for reasons I'm not sure I can actually explain.

Laura Michele said...

i love anon post at 7:14..beautiful

Anonymous said...

Definitely food for thought, this lie about Santa. I know that lying is something we must never do, because in God's sight it's an outright sin. I will never promote or tell this lie again, especially to my children, just as I teach them never to lie either.