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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Witch at Work

HELP!! There is a woman that I work with that says she is a Witch. Recently she has started to tell me that she is putting spells on me so that I will fall in love with her. What do I do??
Thank you so much for your blog. You always make me smile!

I wouldn't worry too much about her being a witch. There is no such thing as a witch. Just because someone calls themselves a witch, it doesn't mean they actually are a witch. I could call myself a unicorn, but I'll never ever actually be a unicorn. Even if I buy myself a horn and stick it on my forehead and prance around eating hay.

The real issue here is her unwanted advances.

Unless they are not unwanted. It's possible that you would want her advances, if only she were a nice Catholic girl and not a poor deluded person that likes to pretend she is WonderWoman.

As a result, there are several different answers to your question.

1. Whenever she says she is a witch, simply reply, "That's silly. There are no such things as witches. I'll pray for you."

2. If her advances are truly unwanted (perhaps she actually looks like a witch), take your complaint to the HR folks or your boss. This constitutes workplace harassment and she's going to have to reel it in. It's already workplace harassment that she is making passes at you.

Putting a spell on you. Indeed.

They probably won't let you put up a Shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe on your desk and she doesn't get to run around being a 'witch' either. Not at work.

As much as we often complain about secular society and it's rules about religion, sometimes the upside of all of that is apparent, like now.

3. If you actually find her attractive as a person, if she were sane, you might want to say to her something along the lines of, "get back to me when you'd like to join me at Mass sometime."

I would have said, "Get back to me when you'd like to convert to Catholicism", but that is a bit too much to ask of someone who thinks she is a witch. Or believes that witches actually exist in the first place.

As tempting as it might be, avoid demeaning her by saying things like, "That guy over there is a werewolf, perhaps he would be interested."

I hope for her sake that this is a passing fancy, an immature grasp for control in a scary world. She'd be much better off with Jesus, but the poor thing is wrapped in fantasy.

I only hope you are a man. Because if you aren't we have a whole other problem.


Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Great post!


Carlos said...

Well, if she says that she is a witch, then she is most likely a Wiccan, which is a pagan religion whose participants call themselves witches. I wouldn't insult her faith because that may get you in trouble at work yourself. I think "spells" are a form of prayer for that religion.

I think you should be charitable in how you deal with her, but make it clear that you're not interested (assuming you're not). You should pray for her as well.

abishag said...

Regardless of whether she's attractive, or what gender the person on the receiving end of this "witch"s bad behavior, harassment is harassment. If she has already been informed that this is unwelcome, I would go to HR and lodge a complaint about sexual and religious harassment.

I've known some Wiccans and they do consider their spells to be prayers. They also will not "cast a spell" for anyone who hasn't given consent, nor will the "cast a spell" (pray) for bad things to happen to others. But since there's no Pagan Pope or Episcopate or Board of Directors, any looney-tunes can call themselves a "witch". This "witch" sounds very immature and is only using that label as an excuse to annoy and harass people. In addition to reporting her bad behavior to HR, Pray for her to find Jesus, or at the very least, grow up a little and leave you alone.

Jess Tryon said...

I agree with Carlos. "Witch" is not just a fantasy creature like unicorns. Wiccans, and many Pagans in general, use the terms "witch" and "warlock" to describe their role in their faith. I can tell you from personal experience that calling her silly and telling her you'll pray for her is the number one way to guarantee she will never EVER listen to anything a Christian has to say ever again and will, in fact, make sure all of her friends know to hate Christians as well. Again, personal experience. I know a number of pagan people who decided to invest firmly in that faith because of the final straw when the Christians treated them with mocking and disrespect.

One main idea that many pagans (Wiccans especially) hold as a foundation is "An harm none". If you need to talk to this co-worker in her language, you could point out that doing something to you ("casting spells") against your will is harmful. Ignore the fact that we don't believe in spells... she obviously does. She needs a reason to stop that makes sense to *her*. The best way to get through to her may be you taking the time to figure out some of her faith language.

Wiccans brought me back to Christ after a traumatic absense. Most of them have a firmer and stronger faith than many Christians I know; it's just faith in the wrong thing. I really hate to see when a loving group of people such as these are attacked or demeaned by those who don't take the time to understand.

Anonymous said...

Carlos is correct: Wiccans consider themselves witches and telling them there is no such things as witches is insulting to them, and frankly, naive. It's too big and serious a thing to be brushed off so easily. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicca Sorry, Sister, but I think you're way off on #1. However, I believe #2 and #3 are both excellent advice.


Anonymous said...

well, if she IS a Wiccan, then she shouldn't be threatening you with spells to make you fall in love with her, because that would be against their rules. you aren't supposed to do magick for anyone or on anyone without their consent because you are interfering with their free will. I don't think they see magick as their form of prayer, but one can see many parallels between prayer (asking for God's assistance with all your heart) and magick (focusing your energies toward something and with the help of deity bringing about some sort of change).

also magick is spelled correctly, it's not the same as magic, like pulling a rabbit from a hat.

in any case, I would still not be worried about her "spell" working on you, she's either trying to get a rise out of a good Catholic person, or is seriously deluded.

Anonymous said...

Off topic, but I thought thaat you and your viewers might be interested in this rendition of Ave Maria played on the saw.


Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

Never doubt that magic is real. I may like fantasy and fantasy magic, but I know better than to mess around with that stuff in real life ever again.

In fantasy (e.g. Harry Potter), magic is usually a natural part of the created order, an alternate means of achieving goals available to anyone with the right proclivities, training, and/or materials. In such a milieu, its moral component is much like engineering: whether it's moral depends on the end you seek. (This woman's ends fail this test. She is attempting to force a change in your behavior without your consent, and in fact against your stated wishes.)

In real life, magic is entreating a supernatural being to use its powers on your behalf. The power used will have one of two sources. If it comes from God, who is all-knowing and all-loving in addition to being all-powerful, then He will hear your prayers and grant them, in the way that creates the greatest possible good.

If the power does not come from God, it comes from the devil, who will use your requests and desires to drive as many people away from God as he can. Pagans of all stripes, and Wiccans in particular, deny that there is only one benevolent God, and claim that the beings they pray to are also benevolent.

So you are fighting the devil. Welcome to the Church Militant! I recommend (amongst other things) the Saint Michael the Archangel prayer.

Janeee said...

Dear Sister Mary Martha,
I was wondering which Saints would be helpful in trying to get my boyfriend to finally "pop the question" It's been 4 years now, and although I know he loves me and wants to get married someday, his idea of someday and mine are very different. I'm tired of living the way we are living and want to fulfill my vocation to raise some good Catholic stock of my own!
Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thank you for your time.

Lisa said...

In "War and Peace," Prince Vasili gets tired of waiting for Pierre to propose to his daughter. So he bursts into the room and says, "My wife has told me everything!" and then starts congratulating them. Would you dad do that for you? Or maybe your parish priest?

Janeee said...

Lisa: ha! that would be fantastic. his mom did the whole "checking my hand" thing at christmas... it didn't really do much but make everyone laugh.

Anonymous said...

I have a different problem at work. One of my co-workers is recently married. She invited me to her wedding, but I could not attend due to a previous obligation. We belong to the same parish and work at the same store, but outside of that, we do not socialize (I'm old enough to be her mother!) Here's the problem: she keeps reminding me that I haven't given her a wedding present yet. Is it customary? Good manners? Expected? Just one of those social mores?


Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

Miss Manners regularly mentions that gifts are ALWAYS appropriate and NEVER required. I'd bet she's rent-seeking.

Anonymous said...

Karen, your co-worker is not using good manners at all. As the previous poster said, gifts are never required, and especially if you're not even going to attend her wedding! Asking you (repeatedly!) about a gift is very impolite.


Anonymous said...

a present that you could give (which is better than any bought) is the gift of prayer. give her either a card with a Mass that will be offered for the newly wed couple, or copy some favorite recipes of yours, place them in a small picture book and indicate in the card that each time you make one of your favorite recipes, you will pray for their marriage.