Dead or Alive

I realize that it's all very mystical. But it's not too hard to make a timeline to track when Jesus died and what He did while He was dead.

Referring to what Jesus said to the thief on the cross (also known as St. Dismas), a reader asks:

I thought Jesus went to Heaven on the 3rd day, so why did he say "today"?

What makes you think that? Jesus was running around visiting the disciples and whatnot on the 3rd day. Surely you remember that? He didn't go to Heaven on the 3rd day, He rose from the dead on the 3rd day. Unless you live in Opposite World.

Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday. So He was was indeed dead that day. While He was dead, He opened the Gates of Heaven which had been closed since Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden.

Jesus not being dead on the third day.

On the third day, He was alive again and surprised Mary Magdelene. Later, He showed up where the disciples were still gathered in their post crucifixion cowering state. You may recall His famous encounter with Thomas. He spent the next 40 days running around in His Glorified Body, eating, appearing and disappearing, walking through walls, and going fishing with the gang.

Then he gathered them all on the beach, gave them some final instructions and ascended into Heaven. We call that the Ascension.  That's where the Gospels all end. We take up with the Acts of the Apostles to find out what happened next.

Jesus ascends into Heaven, still very much alive.

Fifty days later, the Holy Spirit descended on them and gave them the Gift of Tongues, while they were gathered together in "the upper room".  The disciples then dispersed to the four corners of the earth. We know what happened to Judas. Peter, Bartholomew, Thomas, Andrew, James and James and Philip, were all crucified, stoned, run through with poles, skinned alive and decapitated. John, Simon the Zealot, Matthew and Thaddeus lived to ripe old ages and "fell asleep", according to Hippolytus.

You seem to have the timeline completely backwards. You've just had a mental lapse that forgot that Jesus died on the cross. Perhaps you need a little coffee or a cookie.

Sometimes a bladder infection causes people to not quite be able to think.  Especially in the elderly. If an elderly person seems to suddenly have dementia, you can pretty much bet they have a bladder infection. Like clockwork.

A Latte for the Soul

Sister - I have to confess that I've seen that fellow with the Starbucks cup! He lives in Los Angeles (maybe West Hollywood?) and his name is Kevin. I don't know why he dresses "like Jesus" (as if we know what Jesus dressed like) but he seems to be a friendly person, and I took seeing him as a "sign" that my formerly agnostic self was trepidatiously going to catechumen classes. You see, I got on the bus one Saturday after a thoroughly thought-provoking and unsettling class where we discussed that big "If God loves us, why is there suffering?" question, and I was full of all kinds of thoughts and feelings and I looked up and there was someone who looked like Jesus, getting up and offering someone else his seat on the crowded bus. He had two Starbucks cups in his hands at the time. He got off the bus at (you won't believe it, but I swear this is true) at Temple Israel. It was one of the funniest and surprisingly inspirational experiences I've had. There were many reasons I came back and I really can't count one more goofy Hollywood weirdo as a major influence, but it was like a silly reminder that I was moving in the right direction. And maybe even a sign that God does have a pretty good sense of humor.

Which begs the question "what would Jesus actually look like if he were strolling around now?"  Of course, He told us how to find Him. Look no further than whoever you see.

We really aren't going to find Jesus knocking on our doors, wearing a toga with long hair and a beard. He's not going to be what I call "mosquito bite Jesus" (because He's so pale and white that biting insects cannot resist Him).

If He was alive now, we'd probably miss Him in the jangle of sound, the endless tweets and postings. He'd be just another Deepak Chopra kinda guy. Would He appear with Oprah?

We'll never know. He did the only thing that was available to Him at the time. Walk around and talk to people. He would have many more options now. Would he start an indiegogo campaign to crowd fund a mega church?

Ironically, He is using the internet. Because ....here we are.

But I really do think that if Jesus were just starting out right now He would be considered "one more goofy weirdo", no matter how he dressed, because His message, what He asks of us, is so completely radical, in some cases counter intuitive, that few people actually would take us His cause.

And if we look at the world around us, we can ascertain that few people really have. It's why so many followers, like Mother Teresa, have a "dark night of the soul". It doesn't last for just one night.

You're right. We need to see Jesus breezing along with a cup of Starbucks coffee in each hand once in a while. We need to be reminded that what He asks of us makes our lives better, and makes the world better.

Starbucks Jesus

I figured out that if you leave your question in the comments that might do it. My question is about Adoration. I go, but I'm not sure what to do and the whole idea of it confuses me. Am I supposed to pray or be silent in His presence...or alternate both? What do I pray for? I go in there with a list but I don't feel like it's quite appropriate to do this...but I don't know what else to do . I pray a lot for guidance on what to do while I am in there and a closer relationship with Him. I also take a few books with prayers in there, too...but I always think I am "doing it wrong". For once, I would like to do something "right". Would you spell it out for me and help out? Thank you Sister. Oh, and one more question... When I go to Adoration (it's in a small chapel), I always go to my seat first and then kneel down facing the monstrance for my opening prayers. Some people walk in and kneel down right in the aisle and "block traffic" so to speak. I want to do what's proper. 

Yes, leave your questions in the comments section.

Now that we have that out of the way....

This Adoration thing is not a confusing idea.  But I do understand your confusion. I mean, really, if you said to me, "Come on over and adore me", I wouldn't know what to do either. 

Adding to the feeling that you are doing it wrong are other factors:

1. Everyone else seems to know exactly what they're doing. Especially, those people who are clogging up the aisles in an adoration logjam.

2. The decor and atmosphere are sure signs that "you are not in Kansas anymore". It can give you that feeling you have when you discover no one told you the brunch was black tie only. The monstrance is a really big ornate gold thing.  You have a run in your hose. That sort of feeling. Jesus is there wearing black tie and you are there in your pajamas. Like that. 

So, yeah. I understand.

You just need to adjust your perception a little. Then you'll be fine.

So imagine this. You're sitting in your house stewing in your own juice about whatever is eating you today. You're doing whatever it is you do there, putting some coffee on, sweeping the front walk, wondering if you should do the dishes now or wait until the lunch dishes are in there, too. You get an excited call from a neighbor. Jesus Christ in the flesh is over at the Starbucks with a few of His disciples.

It's a block away from you!

So, of course, you throw on whatever isn't pajamas and get down there.  Now what?

Are you worried you're not dressed right?  I doubt it.  Are you afraid to speak to Him? You just might be.

But it would be enough just to be there, wouldn't it? And if He caught your eye and smiled, or put His hand on your shoulder, that would make all that stuff you've been stewing about just evaporate, wouldn't it. Probably just being there would.

That's Adoration. Go down to that Starbucks where Jesus stopped in. And just be there. There's no wrong way to do that. You can ask questions. You can pray any prayers you want to pray. You can let Him know what's bothering you. Or not. He knows already anyhow.

You can politely step by the logjam, or you can join them. Would you worry about where the disciples were sitting or standing or kneeling at the Starbucks? Of course not. You'd just squeeze in there anyway you could. 

You might look down and find you're still wearing your slippers.  That's okay, too.

The only thing you could possibly do wrong is to be disrespectful. Somehow I don't think that's an issue, either. Jesus didn't turn away the disrespectful. The Pharisees were always at the edges of the crowds who gathered around Jesus, making snarky remarks and trying to dream up questions that would stump Him. He never told them to take a hike. And they were probably dressed nicely.

So relax. Jesus is adorable. 

Teen Angels

Sister Mary Martha, is there any way to tell about how old the Apostles were?

No, there isn't, but that doesn't stop everyone from trying.

We're used to seeing the disciples more or less like this:

If not grey haired, at least wizened looking and thick bearded.There's a bald guy on the end of the table there.  I think the traditional "wisdom" is that the disciples were as old as Jesus, maybe one or two were older. I have known people who went grey or bald in their twenties.  Given that Jesus didn't make it past thirty, that makes the Apostles relatively young.  Relative is an important word here, as the average life expectancy in the time of Christ was...pretty young.  40 was the new 87 back then. A man in his twenties could have had quite a life for himself back then, married as a teenager,at work since he could walk.

So just for the sake of 'we never stop making conjectures about Jesus and His life on earth", let's visit some of the scholarly thoughts scholarly people have had about how old the Apostles were.

Matthew was a tax collector. Since he had a job he must have been older. How old? Who knows.

Peter was married. Older.

Young men did not take instruction from Rabbi's who were younger than them. That makes all of the Apostles younger than Jesus who was 27 when He began His ministry. How much younger? Who knows.

So the images of  these bearded old wizard looking fellows are a bit out of step with what was probably going on. Although beards make you look older and wiser. That's why young men grow them. Unless they're Amish, then it's because they don't use Norelco products.

Certainly the Apostles were in the prime of their lives, as they jumped out on foot and walked all over the known world until they they met their unpleasant demises. I believe John might be the only one who didn't have an unpleasant demise. We don't really know what happened to them all for certain. Here is a rundown of who they were.

Way more fun and worthy of discussion is the new idea that perhaps the disciples were all teenagers.  There are some compelling reasons to buy into this one and some not so compelling reasons.

It's really quite a turn around to consider the Apostles as teens or barely out of their teens.

Peter and Paul give each other the hand shake of peace?  And then have a coke.

Prepare ye the Way

Today I had to trudge up to the Walgreen's to buy toothpaste.  Our Walgreen's stands on the corner of one of the busiest intersections in the Los Angeles area.  Across the street is a 7-11 and a sports bar. And right next to the 7-11, the sports bar and a doughnut shop is a bus stop. It is the filthiest bus stop I have ever seen. If I thought it would do any good, I would personally get out there with a bucket and a scrub brush. But truthfully, between the spilled 7-11 slurpees, ground into the pavement doughnut holes, spilled coffee, spilled beer (sometimes  already been ingested) and half of the students that attend Venice High school, I'm sure my efforts would be unnoticeable in about a day and half.

Because so many people congregate there, and because so very many cars have to stop at the intersection, the corner is also a mecca for the lowest of the lowlife.

Today on my way to find some Colgate, or even better Aquafresh, which is often only $1, I saw a man walking toward me. What mess this character was. He was wearing a black shirt and black pants. He was very thin and his shirt was completely unbuttoned, revealing his scrawny chest. His pants looked like they might just drop to the ground at any second. He had the red leathered skin of someone who is always outdoors combined with someone who will drink anything he can get his hands on. His eyes were glassy.

And I thought, "Here comes Jesus."

I might not have thought that on any other day. I might have worried a little about his menacing eyes. Just last week a homeless man stabbed a woman to death in Hollywood because he asked her for a dollar and she didn't give it to him.  I might have written him off as a pathetic rummy, which he most certainly was, unworthy of help or consideration. Surely if I gave him money he would use it to buy booze. Isn't that the way it goes?

He didn't ask me for money.  He just tromped on by. Later I saw him sprawled by the outside wall of the doughnut shop, a few feet from the bus stop.  

But today I read about St. John the Baptist. Today is the feast day of the Solemnity of the Birth of John the Baptist.  Happy Birthday! or..."Solemn Birthday."  We all know about John the Baptist. It's because of his efforts that we have the sacrament of Baptism, since Jesus went to John to be baptized. We always remember John saying that he should let Jesus baptize him and they sort of argued about that, like when people fight over the check at dinner.

What we don't talk about all that much is one of the things that Jesus said about John:
 “I tell you, among those born of women, no one is greater than John....” “[Y]et the least in the kingdom of God is greater than he” (Luke 7:28).

It's not easy, or even normal, to think of smelly filthy people who wander around with glassy eyes and vacant stares, who are rambling and abusive, or sullen and nasty, as greater than John the Baptist, but Jesus wasn't normal. He message is entirely radical.