Shameless

Normally I wouldn't put on my Santa hat just yet, but this year, with the everyone as poor as St. Francis of Assisi, I thought maybe people would need a little extra time to manage the gifty end of the season.

I am on the case!

If you are at a loss for a wonderful, personal, one of a kind, yet wildly inexpensive gift look no further! What better gift than your own personal patron saint? Head over to our little shop and scroll through nearly 80 different saints and items.

Our motto: There really is a patron saint for everything. Nurses, people who make their own birthday cards (St. John of God), mothers of teens (St. Monica), people who are annoyed by they annoying habits of others (St. Therese the Little Flower), crazy people (St. Dympha), fireworks fans (St. Barbara), pirates (St. Vincent de Paul). Really, everything.

Each of our patron saints comes with a holy card that we've made ourselves with the story of the saint. Even non-Catholics love them. I know this because I just made up a custom order of saints on our new stretchy bracelets for a Jewish lady. She was especially insistent that her order include the saint stories. "Of course it does," I told her.

I was very tickled that she now is aware of these stories.

We have coin holders with the Infant of Prague attached. The Infant of Prague is invoked for financial stability. We thought it would be a fine idea to put a little medal on one of those little squeezy coin purses (in a variety of colors) since God helps those who help themselves by hanging on to their loose change.

We have clips and zipper pulls, necklaces and bracelets, keychains and mousepads.

Merry Christmas! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Now that I'm done with my own shameless self promotion, let me point your attention to a little corner of my sidebar, which has been sitting over there for months begging for your eye.

A few months ago the author of this book contacted me and sent me a copy of his book. I have had it over there waving at you ever since. This wonderful book would make a great Christmas gift.

It is three stories in one. It is the story of an Italian family, half of whom immigrated to the United States and never looked back and the other half who remained in a tiny town in Italy never to see their long lost relatives again.

It is the story of a saint, how that man became a saint, what it takes to become a saint and how the church sets about the canonization process.

It is the story of one man's personal journey back to the Faith after the tragic death of his brother, for whom no miracles occurred.

Justin Catanoso found the Catholic Church, his giant Italian family and his cousin the saint. He wrote a wonderful interesting, funny, poignant, informative story. Miracles do happen.

It's a book you'll want to read yourself and pass on. I really couldn't put the book down. It's a real page turner. Just go to my sidebar and click on the green box. Some of you were looking for gift ideas for clergy or nuns. Here you go. Don't be stupid, buy two.

Happy Black Friday! Happy Cyber Monday!

No Joy in Mudville

We are up to our veil tops in candy and little bags. Sister Mary Fiacre is in hog heaven disposing of candy pieces that don't look pretty enough down her candy loving gullet. I have to keep reminding Sister St. Aloysius why Sister Mary Fiacre's interest in dinner is directly proportionate to how many pieces of candy missed making the cut. "It isn't the sauerkraut," I keep telling her.

Although, maybe it is.

I don't like making candy. After a while, the smell is just sickening. It's messy. It takes up a lot of space.

I also don't like cutting out felt numbers. I now dream about gooey sickeningly sweet felt numbers and nothing else.

While it would be nice to say I'm offering it all up for the Poor Souls in Purgatory, the truth is, I can't because I'm really not suffering. Sister St. Aloysius and Sister Mary Fiacre are sharing hog heaven and seeing them having so much fun lifts the burden of the oozing and burnt stove top and the grooves on my thumb from the scissors.

It's the same reason, I suppose, that many of you can sit through a soccer game or a T Ball game played by little kids who do not even knowing what to hit or which way to run while your kaboose complains to the inner workings of your brain about the hard, hard bleachers.

Life isn't always about you. Your happiness often has little to do with you actually doing things to make yourself happy.

Which brings me to today's question:

Sister, Do you have a patron saint or perhaps just a good saint quote about sharing in someone else's joy? (instead of being sad that you don't have the same joy in your life) I have a friend (no really!) that's struggling with this. Thanks!

I do. Mother Teresa. She's technically not a saint yet. She is Blessed, at this point. And she indeed has some words to share with your friend.

But let's talk about the problem for one moment: the green eyed monster, jealousy.


Jealousy is not just one emotion. It's a big ball of nasty emotion rolled into one thing that we call being jealous. Like one of those awful ice cream cake rolls with some kind of hard pretend ice cream and even harder freezer burned stale tasting cake.

On the inside is anger. Anger that we didn't get what you got. That's no fun and it's a sin.

On the outside is want and longing, bitterness and greed, self pity and sadness. What a nasty freezer burned stale cake that is! No wonder she is struggling. I'd have trouble choking all that down, too.

So first she needs to take a good look at what it is she is trying to swallow. She might want to just dump that in the trash while the hostess isn't looking.


Except, there is no hostess. She has served herself this stale and tasteless 'treat'. Time to put down that fork and push herself away from the table. Put a napkin over that mess and step away.

Blessed Mother Teresa. It turns out she was almost never happy. She felt abandoned by God. But she just kept going because she knew she was doing the right thing. And because life isn't about making yourself happy. It's about bringing comfort and peace to others.

Comfort and peace lives there, in the happiness of others, not rolled up in what they have and we don't have.

Here's my perpetual answer for everyone who asks "why me?"

"Why not you?"

Here are the comforting words of Mother Teresa, the perpetually abandoned nun who worked with lepers and mind bogglingly sick and poor people. She did not originate these thoughts, but this is her version of them.

1. The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Judgmental

We're very excited. Advent is just around the corner. We'll spend all that time having too much fun, and then we'll have even more fun during Christmas time. Sister St. Aloysius saw something in a magazine about making little advent calendar bags and since her successful Halloween candy making binge she has been scouring the internet for Christmas candy recipes to put in the little bags.

I sense a meltdown coming on. Pardon the pun. But I think her plan involves making a set of these bags for whoever wants a set. Each bag has a number on it for the calendar day and candy inside. That's a lot of bags, a lot of days, a lot of numbers and a load of candy. I picture myself cutting out felt numbers until I have freed everyone from Purgatory with my suffering. Whoever thought that felt was a fun and easy thing to work with? I'd like to meet that person and cover her in felt bags with numbers on them and ride her out of town on a rail, which shall henceforth be known as "bag and felting". Less cruel than tar, but certainly right to the point.

I digress.

I thought I should get this messy question out of the way before the festive season begins.


Question: As a Catholic in a state of grace (no mortal sin on my soul), and having received five out of seven of the sacraments - can I assume I will go to Heaven someday after a "stint" in Purgatory? If so, how does the "final judgment" enter into this? What does the final judgment mean - when Jesus will "come again to judge the living and the dead"? Surely the people who died already have gone to either Hell, Purgatory or Heaven by now. I don't really understand. I also don't understand what it means about Jesus "spewing out of His mouth" those who are lukewarm - what if they don't have any mortal sins on their souls, but aren't exactly zealous Christians? Does that "spewing" mean He is condemning them to Hell? Thank you for your time - Penelope Purgatory
I don't know.

Yes, I do. I'm just not sure I have a firm grasp on the concepts because I try never to think about the Last Judgment. I hope I just get reunited with my body and get to shuffle off to Heaven. We all have our dreams.

Here is my understanding: If you drop dead right now, your body stays here and rots. Your soul heads off to Heaven, or Purgatory, if you've managed to lead some sort of decent life. If you haven't, your soul will go to Hell forever. Terrible news for you. That happens because when you die, you have a personal judgment.

The Last Judgement is a general judgment. During the Last Judgment, Jesus comes back and you are reunited with your body. I know, it rotted away to nothing, but it's back. It's in great shape. Even if you never liked your chin, you'll love it now. Cellulite? What cellulite?

Why do you get your body back? You don't really need it in heaven.

You get it back so that you can feel even more bliss.

If you've gone to Hell, you'll get it back so you can feel even more suffering. If you're missing any parts now, you'll get them back, too, so you can have two legs to burn in Hell forever instead of one. Rohm Emanuel with have his finger back, for example.

So that will be a big party for some people and some terrible news for others. During all of that, Jesus will judge the nations. That's because sins have a way of hanging around and being repeated by generation after generation. Is America the best country in the world? We'll see. In my opinion, just like Lucy, we have some s'plainin' to do.

Here's how New Advent explains what will happen and what it's all about. Prepare ye the way for your eye to glaze over:

The Roman Catechism thus explains why, besides the particular judgment of each individual, a general one should also be passed on the assembled world: "The first reason is founded on the circumstances that most augment the rewards or aggravate the punishments of the dead. Those who depart this life sometimes leave behind them children who imitate the conduct of their parents, descendants, followers; and others who adhere to and advocate the example, the language, the conduct of those on whom they depend, and whose example they follow; and as the good or bad influence or example, affecting as it does the conduct of many, is to terminate only with this world; justice demands that, in order to form a proper estimate of the good or bad actions of all, a general judgment should take place. . . . Finally, it was important to prove, that in prosperity and adversity, which are sometimes the promiscuous lot of the good and of the bad, everything is ordered by an all-wise, all-just, and all-ruling Providence: it was therefore necessary not only that rewards and punishments should await us in the next life but that they should be awarded by a public and general judgment."



Speaking of glaze, I'm not looking forward to cleaning the stove again, either. Purgatory will be empty soon.

As for the spewing...I think we have to take the New Testament to mean what it says. That's why the Catholic church has all sorts of fun and interesting ways to keep you worked up about God. Advent wreaths and nativity scenes, lenten candles and Easter baskets, martyrs and shrines, rosaries and missals. It's like a continual pep rally. That's exactly why we're making advent calendar candy bags. The sugar rush should help your excitement level some, too.

It's Alive

I am here working with Frankenstein.

Although, that is one of those inaccuracies with which we all live. Frankenstein is not the monster. Frankenstein is the doctor. But when we say "Frankenstein" we don't mean "doctor".

I haven't been away. Our computer here at home slowly, ever so slowly, kicked the bucket. But since so many parts of it were still working, the eighth grade boys kept trying to keep it going, replacing things with salvaged parts and downloading things and streamlining things.

So here I am with this pieced together machine. I just want to mention that things weren't going very well until I prayed for the intercession of Mother Frances Cabrini. It suddenly dawned on me that the St. Cabrini car prayer, which works marvelously on cars (at least to get them to start long enough to not block traffic when they die in the middle of the road), might work on any machine. "Mother Cabrini, put down your linguini, look down from heaven and fix my machini."

And here we are. Will wonders never cease?

One summer a few years ago, I realized that although I've seen all the great monster stories in some movie form over the years, I had never actually read the original works of fiction. So I spent the summer reading them all. I started with Dracula. Is it even called that? Then I read Frankenstein. From there I plowed through Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde and for the finale, The Invisible Man. The only one I didn't much care for was the Invisible Man. He's just such an unpleasant fellow from the word "go" and he just gets crankier and crankier as the story progresses. Someone needs to introduce him to the concept of offering it up. He would have done alright with his unusual potion had he been able to do that.


Dracula, although an interesting story told in the form of diaries and letters, is overly long. I don't believe any movie has ever done it justice, however. It is ultimately a love story, in which the two lovers must overcome this terrible evil (Count Dracula and his mesmerizing charms). It is their love that gives them the strength to overcome. Their love and a big wooden stake.

I really enjoyed the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, the best, I think. For one thing, it is to the point. Dr. Jekyl, unlike the rest of these jokers, has good intentions. He's simply trying to separate man's evil nature from man's good nature, so one could attempt then to eradicate evil. Unfortunately for him, evil is like heroin and he can't stop indulging himself until at last his evil side wins. Too bad he didn't meet the folks from Dracula.

And too bad no one introduced him to the concept of Original Sin. That would have saved him so much time. You would think an educated man like him would have heard of it.

Of everyone, both Dr. Frankenstein and his monster are the most normal. Perhaps normal is not the word we want to use. Dr. Frankenstein builds his man because he realizes he can. There is no other motivation. I used to feel that way when disciplining an entire room full of second graders who were just a little noisy. I knew all I had to do was say two words and give them a look, or slap my ruler on the desk to have absolute silence. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to do that, but I did it because I could.

Who knows what monsters I created?

Frankenstein builds his man on the floor of his apartment, not in any fancy lab with things going zizzle and pop. When he sews on the last piece, the man he has built opens his eyes and looks at Frankenstein. It is only then that Frankenstein realizes what a bad idea this was.

Uh-oh.

He runs into his bedroom and locks the door and hides. He stays in there for a while, kicking himself for not realizing what a horrible stupid thing it was to build a man out of old body parts and what would he do with the guy after he did build him and how does he get rid of the thing and such. Frankenstein finally just runs away from the problem. He packs his bags and skedaddles.

The Monster, poor thing, spends the rest of the book looking for someplace where he is accepted. He's a smarty pants and learns to speak from hanging around outside the window of a family he would like to join. He really would have been a nice fellow if someone had just loved him. All manner of Hades breaks loose after he formulates a plan to force Dr. Frankenstein to build him a companion. Everything goes downhill fast after that. I believe at one point the monster rips the head off of Dr. Frankenstein's new bride to get the doctor to take him seriously.


Dr. Frankenstein does build his monster a girlfriend, but that is a total disaster, too. The girl doesn't like the monster either, to put it mildly. I can't remember what becomes of her. She probably has a reality show on FOX, trying to become Paris Hilton's new friend.

Ah well, let's hope my "new computer" fares better.

We have questions to answer!

Blessed are the Weapons Experts

This question from a reader has had me stewing in my own juice for days. I have had it on the back burner since before Halloween and now that the stove is finally clean again and the candy fog and election frenzy has passed, I'm ready to tackle it.

Brace yourself. Ironically, some people will be angry at my response.

Here's my question: in an email exchange with my uncle, he brought up the idea that the Church can not support a "just war" and follow a pacifist Jesus. I know that we are supposed to live nonviolent lives. But I wonder, is Jesus a pacifist?

The easy answer: Yes, of course Jesus was a pacifist. What about the myriad things Jesus said about love, healing, turning the other cheek, meek people inheriting the earth, loving one's ENEMIES ( not tolerating, loving as God loves them), telling Peter to put down his sword, changing "Thou Shalt Not Kill" to include "thou shalt not harbor anger", don't people understand?

The Church, by the way, does support a Just War. I'll let you go read up on that. Use the Google. It's in the internet tubes.

I just want to talk about Jesus the pacifist. Every time this topic comes up, somebody will drag
out the Gospel of John and wave it in our faces. During His last week, Jesus got really upset about the money changers at the temple. What was that about?

The Romans made everyone they conquered use Roman currency. The Jewish people had to use their own currency at the Temple according to Jewish law. Here you have people showing up at the Temple from miles around to make an animal sacrifice of some type (a dove, or whatever). They are carrying Roman currency because they have to do that according to Roman law. They can't drag the animals they are going to sacrifice with them from whence they came.

So the Jews show up at the Temple, change their currency, purchase a dove or whatever and head in to the Temple.

What was Jesus so mad about? First of all, the moneychangers were right on the Temple steps. They didn't even have the good taste to go down the block. On top of that, the money changers were charging a fee. Like an ATM. Think about an big old ATM in the back of the church and you'll get an idea of how Jesus was feeling. I have heard that there are ATM's at the back of some churches. Who are people kidding with that?

So in two of the Gospels, Jesus throws a fit and flips over the tables and tells everyone to get out.


But in the Gospel of John that I have waved in my face (by people who apparently love to think of Jesus with an AK 47 and won't hear otherwise), Jesus actually makes himself a whip and drives the money changers out.

"And He found in the temple those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers seated. And He made a scourge of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the moneychangers, and overturned their tables." (John 2:14-15)

So Jesus has a weapon. We can't pretend He didn't have a weapon.

You might notice, however, that the Gospel doesn't say he beat anyone. He drove them out. He probably never even hit anyone with the whip.

Jesus' whip did not fly through the air and kill anyone. It didn't drop out of the sky and take out a family having dinner. It merely drove out the money changers. They lived to tell the tale. They probably came back and set up their tables as soon as Jesus left. They are there as we speak, collecting ATM fees.

Are we really going to sit here and pretend that one incident trumps every thing else Jesus did and said about how He would like us to behave toward each other. Please.

Read the Sermon on the Mount. Read it over and over and over again. Blessed are the peacemakers.

Not enough evidence? There were people that walked the earth with Jesus. Most of them were eventually hauled off and killed. No one rose up as a mighty army and tried to stop that from happening. Not Peter, not Paul, not St. Iganitius. They followed the path of Jesus, who stopped His disciples from fighting for His life. The legency continued. St. Agnes and St. Catherine of Alexandria, St. Stephen and St. Sebastian, young people and old people torn to shreds by lions, hanged upside down, burned as human torches, beheaded, drowned, beaten and tortured.

No one ever fought. No one. Why? They were followers of Jesus. Jesus asked that His followers turn the other cheek and pray for their enemies, so they did. Then they were torn to shreds by lions and made into human torches.

Were they all just stupid and naive? Poor things.

It seems people can't deal with the idea that peace and love are powerful. Strange, since at the basis of all the great faiths is the idea that love is more powerful than hate. Good is more powerful than evil.

Don't believe me. Here's what the Pope had to say about Jesus and the money changers:

The power Jesus demonstrated was the power of love, which heals and reconciles, Pope Benedict XVI said. "He did not come as one who destroys; he did not come with the revolutionary's sword. He came with the gift of healing," the pope said March 16 as he celebrated Mass on Palm Sunday in St. Peter's Square.

You might want to wave that statement at your uncle, since he seems to believe that the church does not want Jesus to seem as though He is a pacifist. I beg to differ.

Here is today's nun. Sr. Mary Cabrini (Brown Josephite) from West Wallsend, NSW

Jumpin' Jehosephite!

Not Yet Confirmed

Dear Sister Mary Martha I'm having a hard time finding my confirmation name. Do you have any suggestions? I'm thinking one of the doctrines of the church. What's your opinion. My mother stalks your blog and was soooo happy when you commented on hers.

Hello to your mother!

I'm not sure one of the doctrines of the church works as a confirmation name. "Hello, I'm Catherine Anne Assumption of Our Lady Into Heaven Sweeney." Sorry, I couldn't resist. I know you meant one of the Doctors of the Church.

As a girl, you only have three Doctors of the Church from which to choose. There are only three women Doctors of the Church and they only have two names. You have to choose between Catherine and Therese, although you have a choice of Theresas and how to spell Teresa.

Those are some great choices: St. Catherine of Sienna, St. Theresa the Little Flower and St. Teresa Avila. Any one of them would be spectacular! It's not like some mistake can be made.


You know who I would love to see you go with? St. Ignatius of Antioch. What a guy! For one thing, all the art work with him in it is just fantastic because he is always being eaten or he's about to be eaten by a lion, since he was indeed eaten by lions. That is so very dynamic.

St. Ignatius was exactly the type of person you should be, as you become a soldier of Christ. Like you, he never met Christ while Jesus was walking around on earth. Ignatius had to rely of what St. Peter said about Jesus for all his information.

So do we, in the sense that we have to listen to Peter's successor, the Pope, for our information.

Oh, St. Ignatius of Antioch, we have so much in common!

After St. Ignatius listened to everything St. Peter had to say, St. Ignatius did just what he was supposed to do, which was to spread the Word. Unfortunately for him, but very fortunately for us, St. Ignatius was hauled off to jail. It was fortunate for us because being hauled off to jail was an exceptionally long trip and the whole time he was being dragged away, St. Ignatius wrote letters about what was going on and giving encouragement to his readers.

Did I mention he was a bishop? He was a bishop.

Sadly, St. Ignatius was torn to pieces by lions as entertainment for the masses. We hope this never happens to you, but you could end up on American Idol.

We never hear much about hoping for a martyr's death anymore these days, do we? We talked about it constantly when I was little girl going to Catholic schools. It's a wonderful thing to die a martyr's death, because it means you go straight to heaven. Other than that, there is nothing too wonderful about it, not to mention that we strive for a day when there is no need for anyone to die as a martyr ever again.

I digress.

My point here is that St. Ignatius if the perfect example of a soldier of Christ, which is what you are about to become. A card carrying member of the Church Militant by your own choice.

Is there a girl version of the name Ignatius? You know what I mean? Like Thomasina? Or Josephine? I certainly had a nun or two with the name St. Ignatius, but then nuns have boy names all the time. Or they used to, back in the day when they took a whole new name. Some still do.

I'm not sure I've been much help. Perhaps if we knew a little more about you, we could find the perfect Confirmation saint. You can still comb through all the boy Doctors of the Church and use a girl version of one of their names. Let us know if you need more help. I'm sure our readers will have some suggestions.

Trick or Treat

Want some candy? You can't have any. Not because we're selfish and want to keep all our wonderful homemade candy to ourselves. You can't have any because it's all stuck to us. Expect typos. My fingers are stuck to the keyboard.

We have some homemade candy corn, some gummy worms, some made from scratch marshmallow ghosts and some chocolate blobs. I'm not sure what happened there.

We can pretend that the marshmallow ghosts are saints if we want to, since we believe that dead people who are in heaven are saints, and even though ghosts are dead people who hang around here, we can pretend they are just visiting to collect our prayers to take back to heaven. Then we'll eat them.

Isn't that the whole idea of Halloween anyhow? Not our original idea, certainly, but the idea these days in general is some fun make believe dress up time. Not to mention some creativity and ingenuity. I'm looking forward to hearing from readers as to who dressed up as what.

This year I'm going as a nun.



Just kidding. This year I'm going as Marilyn Monroe. No I'm not. Perhaps it would be clever of me to slap on some giant eyelashes and try to pass myself off as Mary Tyler Moore playing a nun in "A Change of Habit".

I'll probably just throw on my pointy hat, as most people are half way to thinking 'witch' when they see me in the first place.


I could throw on a cape of some sort and be Batnun. Not a big stretch there, either. Maybe I'll just get some slick shades and ask people if they know they are really living in the Matrix.

The kitchen did not blow up, by the way. I'm so grateful about that, since it is my job to clean the stove and I'd rather clean the stove of the sticky mess it is right now than be saddled with sweeping up stove parts and bits of Sister St. Aloysius, the candy martyr.

Now I can only pray that we get enough trick or treaters to unload this stuff, because I love my teeth and would like to have them for some time yet.

Home Running Away

I found the computer. It was under the feathers, rick-rack, empty thread spools, fabric scraps and some buttons. We're done! Ahead of schedule!

Sister St. Aloysius is so pleased with having that all out of the way. Not in the normal, "Gee, I got that done, now I can get back to being normal" sort of satisfied way. Oh, no. She is thrilled because, since she has gotten everything done early, she has time to MAKE CANDY for the trick or treaters.


I should be thrilled myself, but I am afraid of kitchen chemistry. Nothing scares me more than a double boiler. No, there is something! A pressure cooker. I remember an old Popeye cartoon where something was wrong with Olive Oyl's water heater and it started to swell and rattle and Popeye began to say (in the one time we could understand what he was saying since he wasn't mumbling) "It's gonna blow! It's gonna blow!"

Of course it did. I think what she is doing also involves candy thermometers. Couldn't they blow up, too? Glass and mercury stuck in a pot of boiling chocolate over the hot stove makes me nervous.

She was talking about making little marshmallow saints, too. I thought that sounded so very cute! But then the idea of eating little saints is a little disturbing. I have to put a block on the Food Network. I think she was inspired by the Halloween Cake decorating contest in which part of the decorations on the cake had to include home made candy.

We had a couple of questions from a new reader. Welcome!

Hey again Sister, You mentioned Mother Cabrini! I took my mom to her shrine here in Colorado this summer. One of her miracles was revealing a spring to her Sisters living with her up there in the mountains after their stream ran dry. My question about this would be how does this water (which you can still freely obtain up at the shrine) differ from Lourdes water?

Is cussing (i.e. George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words) considered taking the Lord's name in vain? It's obviously impolite, but I've never been quite sure what the deal is, especially since the Marianist brothers at my high school kind of had potty-mouths. Take care and God bless!

What's the matter with those boys? I would love to personally come up there and wash their mouths out with soap, even though I've never done that to anyone in my whole life because it sounds like such a terrible thing to do.

Also, I don't think it works. I say this only because when I was a little girl we had a little kid that lived up the street. We called him Little Earl, because there was also a grown up Earl on the block. Little Earl had a terrible potty mouth, even at age four. That may have happened in part because his mother was deaf and couldn't here what Little Earl was up to every moment. But at least three days a week Little Earl's grandmother watched him and she could hear everything just fine. She would break off a branch from the bushes next to her house as a 'switch', at which point Little Earl would become terrified, and she would chase him up the block and into the house where she would wash his mouth out with soap.

This went on all the time. That's why I don't think it works.

But to answer your question, those words are not taking the Lord's name in vain. They are just bad and make people think bad thoughts and are therefore scandalous, which is sinful. To cause scandal means to behave in such a way that makes it seem to other people that it's okay to behave in some bad way. Which is exactly what those bad boy Marianists were doing. To a tee.

And Marianists no less! Devoted to Our Blessed Mother Ever Virgin. Scandal on top of scandal. Pathetic.

Now this Mother Cabrini Spring business is a little trickier. That's because there are two stories
about it. One is that they didn't have water up there and had to drag water supplies up there where they were staying and one day Mother Cabrini told the nuns to lift a certain rock and dig under it and they found this spring which still runs. That does sound a little like Lourdes.

But Mother Cabrini isn't Our Lady and Mother Cabrini didn't tell anyone the water had any healing powers. They just needed water and she found a source for it. Although people do get the water from the Mother Cabrini Shrine and use it for miraculous healing purposes, a) no one ever made that claim or promise, officially and b) that all started after Mother Cabrini became a saint and the whole place became a shrine.

On top of that, there is another story about how the spring was found. According to a source at the site: "This area was originally established as a orphanage. In 1912, Mother Cabrini and children from the orphanage formed a heart of stone and cross at the present day statue. On their way down, they discovered a spring at the Grotto which flows to this day. "

So which is it? I don't know. I'd just wash my face and call it a day. But I wouldn't begrudge anyone who took some water and had it blessed and prayed for the intercession of Mother Frances Cabrini. I have prayed for her intercession on more than one occasion, I can tell you, and that lady is no slouch.

The short answer to your question about the two water sources is this: we can't stop the faithful from being faithful. We can give something the official nod or not, and after that you're on your own.

All Souls Day

We are in the home stretch for Halloween and not a moment too soon. We have managed to stay our of Joanne's Fabric Store, but not without looking under couch cushion and in Sister Mary Fiacre's wheelchair for loose buttons, pieces of thread, safety pins and whatever other notions we can find to hold these costumes together. If only we were rich. If only the people who needed costumes were rich. If only someone had seventy dollars plus shipping. We could have avoided the whole thing by sending everyone here.

I'm not that big a fan of dressing children up as saints for Halloween. I think it's a little...wet blanketish. But there are a few costumes that might be fun and get the kids excited about learning more about a saint.

Here's little Kateri Tekakwitha. That's kind of fun. They left the smallpox out of the picture. And since Kateri isn't a saint yet, maybe a few kids dressing up like her will help her cause for sainthood. She could have her little brothers and sisters dress up like turtles and follow her around. I would have gone for that as a girl. When in doubt, I was always a bum.

That used to be a great costume. Now we don't have bums anymore. Just homeless people.


Little Rose of Lima is nice. I think she should have a crown made of something that looks like glass. That sort of thing was really a habit for St. Rose of Lima. Or she could have some embroidery with her or something. I always think of St. Rose of Lima as the patron saint of crafters. Her parents were hoping to marry her off to a rich fellow and when Rose dodged that idea to become a nun and live in her own backyard, she made up for the family's loss of rich husband income by making things to sell.

This Mother Teresa costume, although it is very lovely, is a wet blanket outfit for sure. We love Mother Teresa, but she's not a fun Halloween gal.

At all.


For boys, who could resist St. George, even if he is one of those highly dubious saints? I like St. George, but we know his story is...exaggerated. How do we know? Dragons, anyone? If you dress up as St. George you may as well dress up as Superman or Robin Hood. Any of those three should please any little boy.

I like this little St. John the Baptist, but after I thought about it, it seems a little embarrassing for a little boy to run around in a gunny sack with a belt and nothing else. If I were that little boy, I'd pretty much feel like I was wearing a mini skirt. Well, maybe not a mini skirt. But....you know what I mean. It's really like wearing a dress. We call this style a 'shift' isn't that right?


And on the wet blanket side, Cardinal Neumann is a fun killer. Trick or Treat!

Say, that reminds me, I read the other day that they dug Cardinal Neumann up for his cause of sainthood (it's one of the first steps) and he wasn't there. I can tell you that really struck me, because for years people have been asking me why we dig people up at all and I have explained a million times to a million people that we need to find out if the person is really there so that folks aren't standing around a vault with Joe the Plumber in it offering their prayers and petitions. So you can imagine my shock to hear that Cardinal Neumann was gone.

It was his grave and his coffin, however. He had just completely decomposed. Only his Cardinal suit was left.

Not that this costume has anything to do with that.



Today's Nun So Beautiful is from Sue, who tells us that this nun fell over because she saw the Pope.

Sister Mary Martha, Stealth Clown

I am used to small children being afraid of me. Who can blame them? From their perspective, I'm actually scarier than a clown. Which reminds me. I posted this picture the other day. A nun AND a clown. Why is that child not screaming blue murder? Maybe she is. We really can't see her face, now can we?

I digress.

To small children, I'm sure I look like some big scary witch or some kind of black pterodactyl bat witch. But this is a first. I actually upset a little baby girl and I wasn't even there. Poor baby.


One of our wonderful readers, who is also a cake nut, made our horrible ugly cake that tastes so delicious. The poor baby didn't know the cake would be delicious. The poor baby just took one look at this cake and lost it. Apparently, this baby is a true connoisseur of how a cake ought to look, which is not surprising seeing how her mother is a cake expert.

This lovely woman threw a little party for us in honor of our Blogger's Choice Award. It looks like a fun party and the baby eventually calmed down. You would have thought there was a picture of me on top of the cake.

Meanwhile, Sister St. Aloysius has glommed on to the cake blog. I'm sure I'll have to go the long way to the Post Office with our shop orders from now on or someone will have to roll me there. Maybe we'll throw a one nun bake sale. If you come, you'll know which cake to grab. That really ugly looking one. The one that makes the baby cry.




Today's Nun So Beautiful is from reader James Baird








Sister Alyssa
Looks like someone snapped a picture of her at work.

What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas

We came in third. I should be excited that we placed in the top three. But we came in third last year, too, so it feels to me like we've made no progress. In particular, I feel I should have been paying attention all along instead of just at the last minute and maybe we would have done better.

Don't get me wrong. It's not about being a 'winner'. As far as I can tell, the whole thing is fake or something anyhow, as there is some kind of party in Las Vegas for the winners and we were never notified of winning at all or asked to go to Vegas. We couldn't have gone to Vegas anyhow, but it would have been nice to be invited.

For me, it's about having more visitors. We love our visitors. Please keep visiting.


Sister, can you give us a novena to start on Monday ending on election day for Godly leaders for our country?

Not exactly. I've been working on this. I wanted to go for a novena to St. Constantine. He was my first pick. He turned the whole world Catholic. Okay, not really the whole world. But a huge enough and important enough part of it that Catholicism spread like wildfire. You remember St. Constantine? As in Emperor Constantine? As in Constantinople? Of course you do. That's because you had a Catholic (decent) education.

How did Constantine do it? The answer is the very thing that makes him a ripe pick for our election novena: he made it illegal to not be Christian. You might put a nicer spin on that by saying he legalized Christianity, but you wouldn't be entirely accurate. St. Constantine just made it harder and harder for people to stay pagan by chipping away at what pagans could and could not do, i.e. hold office, own property....until it was simply illegal to be pagan altogether.

He did it a little at a time. It worked out very well because being Christian worked out much better for everyone, better than worshiping those bulky stone statues and all those gods. Not to mention the cost in sacrifices to them.

So if ever there was a person who brought Christian ideals to the world, it would be St. Constantine. But I can't find a novena to him. So then I thought, well, St. Constantine would not have been Christian himself were it not for his sainted mother, St. Helena. Plus, she was the person who discovered the relics of the True Cross and whatnot.

I can't find a novena to her either.

I was also thinking of St. Thomas More, a terrific family man and the person who stood up to King Henry VII. He lost his head for it.

No novena for him, either.

That's not to say you can't go ahead and just make up your own prayers for your election novena to St. Constantine, St. Helena or St. Thomas More.

But I realize that most people want a novena spelled out for them a bit more because they have a hard enough time remembering to keep with the novena in the first place.

Then I found out that some people are calling for a Rosary Novena for the election. Now this seems like a great plan to me! First of all, a rosary novena is an easy thing to remember to do. Secondly, didn't Our Lady ask us to say rosaries for the fate of the world? She has been trying to pound this into our heads for years now. She keeps having to come back over and over again to remind everybody. Thirdly, I always say when things are really tough, go for the big guns. And finally, there is something to be said for a lot of people saying the same prayer together. Gives the whole thing more ooomph.

Which reminds me...there IS a novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Help. How about a rosary novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Help? Done Deal!

Today's nuns are brought to you by the letter "L".

Says Lauren:

Please note: I did not take these pictures but have found them beautiful and helpful in my vocational discernment.

Summit, NJ Dominican Nun

Carmelites of the Divine Heart of Jesus

Easy Peasy Really Quesy

I shouldn't have had any cake. It would have been better to field this question on an empty stomach.

Robert said...

The cake sounds tasty, no matter how it may look. I do have a question for you: I've been out of work since April and my employment insurance is about to run out. I am desperatly seeking work, however, have been turned down for every job I've applied for so far. Out of desperation, I applied for a job as a cashier at a local er...adult...novelty...store... I myself am a virgin and plan to remain one until marriage, nor do I really condone the use of such uh...products. But, I really need a job (eviction is imminent) and they are the only company that seems interested in having me as an employee. What should I do? Should I take the job? If I did, would it be concidered a sin to work in such an industry?

The store also sells cakes.
Just not ones I'd eat.

I feel urp-py.

One of the reasons that the Catholic Church emphasizes a happy, happy life in heaven is that often life here on earth is no picnic. We are expected, when life is no picnic, to walk it off and offer it up to the Poor Souls in Purgatory.

So the simple answer is: starve first.

There is a much more complex answer, though, that involves what we call a "Near Occasion of Sin". A "Near Occasion of Sin" is Catholic Church lingo for "in harm's way". Of course, we are in harm's way constantly. We really can't leave the house. We can't stay in the house either. A lot of our sins are thriving right inside our own skulls. Only a labotomy could keep us out of harm's way, sinwise.

And while a Near Occasion of Sin isn't that hard to fathom, the four different types of Near Occasions of Sins can be a little more daunting.

Proximate: meaning one generally falls into sin

Remote: meaning one sometimes falls.

Necessary: meaning one cannot avoid.

Voluntary: meaning one could avoid with a little will power. Or a lot of will power.

Will power is always involved, in any case.

Spelled out thusly, you new job fires on all pistons. Your only sin loophole is that it may be necessary, as in, you can't get any other job.

Meanwhile, you're peddling sin, standing knee deep in sin every working hour, putting up the sin displays and answering customers questions about how to sin better.

Some loophole. I think the only way you get away with the "necessary" loophole is if you don't actually work for these people but ask to set up a table with pamphlets about the Catholic Church and St. Agnes and St. Maria Goretti and such and they actually say yes. It would be a great place to set up a table with scapulars on it and whatnot.

We are so sorry you mentioned their cake.

There are several patron saints for job hunting and financial stability. St. Joseph the Worker, springs to mind. I'm found of St. John of God, as well, as he wandered around aimlessly doing not so nice things for quite some time before he finally went looney and Jesus paid him a visit in the nut house. I would say 'psych ward', but they didn't have psych wards back then. They only had nut houses.

Good luck to you. Far be it from me to tell you that you have to go starve. I just recommend it.

And as long as our stomaches are already turned:

Sister, have you ever seen Corn Smut? It is a black, ugly, fungus-like growth that infects an ear of corn and ruins it. If you ever see it, you won't forget it, as it is very, very yucky looking. Smut is a perfect name for impure images.

Yes, I have. Thanks for the reminder.

So...no nun pictures today. Just...not today....

Here We Go!

Here we go!

I'm just going to post the Nun So Beautiful pictures in the order in which they were received. Thank the Good Lord we are not required to pick a winner.

Here's the very first one that came in and a great start to the big parade of nuns.


Hello Sister, I would like to enter my friend, Sister Agnes Marie of the Eternal High Priest OCD Who is one of the Extern sisters at our Carmelite Monastery here in Buffalo, NY. She recently made her Perpetual Profession and we had permission from Mother Mariam of Jesus To take pictures.. I hope she wins.. Love, Ellen from Buffalo,NY



Now back to the grindstone.

Sister, I have a question for you about holy water. I understand there are two types - the kind consecrated by a priest (that I use to cross myself when entering and leaving church), and the kind from shrines such as Lourdes. I am wondering what Catholics are required to believe about these two types of holy water vs. what we might believe from Catholic small-t tradition (as you've called it in other posts.) Do we believe consecrated water has special powers of healing the sick, or the ability to ward off evil? Thank you.

Pretty much, yes we do. Although there is a difference between Lourdes water and holy water.

I have to have a nap before I try to explain. There is also a difference between blessed and consecrated.

Two naps.

If I sneeze and you say, "Bless you!" you are wishing me goodness and health. Blessings are the transference or prayer for good. Goodness is transferred from God to you. Are we on the same page here?

When the priest blesses someone or something (like your rosary) that's exactly what he is doing but, because he is a priest, he has supernatural power.

I hope that doesn't upset you. When we say supernatural we mean exactly that. Outside the realm of the earth. We aren't referring to werewolves, vampires and zombies.


I once had a third grader who was concerned that when Lazarus was brought back form the dead he came back as a zombie. I had to explain that Lazarus was just alive and happy again, not a dead person who had a spell cast on him to take away his will and make him forever slowly serve drinks on a silver tray and trudge around and strangle people one doesn't care for.



A priest giving a blessing is not a person casting a spell. He is bestowing good from outside nature. Supernatural good from God.

Still on the page?

The priest blesses objects to set them apart for sacred use for the Kingdom of God. Easy breeze lemony squeezy.

There are two types of blessings: simple and solemn, also called consecrations. What's the dif?

Consecrations are a bigger deal. It doesn't exactly make the object or person any more blessed. It makes the person or object more specifically blessed. A consecration is a more specific blessing, just like a prayer can be general ("Please look after the good health of my family") or specific ("please heal Aunt Agatha's gout").

Lourdes water is a whole other category. Lourdes water was consecrated by Mary herself, set aside for specific use (except for poor little Bernadette).

Anyhow, to answer your final question, 'are we to believe that holy water has supernatural power?', I would say, yes, by definition it does. Otherwise, during an exorcism the priest could just stick your head under the faucet or douse you with a hose.

Lazarus might make a fun Halloween costume. Everyone would think he was a zombie, but we would know better.