One thing that helps me with unforgiveness is a purely selfish realization: If I don't forgive, the only person it really harms is me! Failure to forgive is something that eats you alive and makes you unhappy. After I examine how the unforgiveness is hurting me, I ask for forgiveness and help to forgive.
Often the best route is to be extra loving to the one I must forgive. (Yes, perversely, it's the old "coals of fire" route) Amazingly, it works! It turns the sinfulness back to where it should reside: with the one who sinned first against me. And it often brings repentance.
Interesting! My two favorite bloggers both write about forgiveness today. Simcha Fisher's insightful article is here: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/forgiveness-cell-by-cell Thanks for pointing out that we CAN demand apologies and reparations. I think it also helps to look at our definition of love when we are trying to love again. For me, C.S. Lewis's definition is most useful: "One's good is to be the good of another". So, I don't necessarily have to have warm, fuzzy feelings for the person whom I'm trying to forgive, but I should desire good for him/her. Or to start with, maybe just not negative things. And I like the word unforgiveness too!
One of my favorite priests said in a sermon once that forgiving someone doesn't mean standing in front of them and joyfully saying, "Here! Slap me again!" It means letting yourself be open to the possibility that the slapper may change into a non-slapper. Which isn't the same thing as treating them as if they HAVE changed without good, strong evidence, or treating yourself as if your own pain from past slaps has healed when it hasn't.
No, dear readers, you should NOT go and read "Poem of the Man God." Here is what Father Mitch Packwa has to say about it:
Remarkably, the book has grown in popularity in part because its champions claim that high Church officials--including one Pope--endorsed it. They haven't. In fact, "Poem" was included on the Index of Forbidden books until the abolition of the Index in the 1960s. No less an authority than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, reiterates the Church's rejection of the claims made for "The Poem of the Man-God."
You can google it to find this quote.
Sister Mary Martha, I would suggest you remove the first comment by anonymous, as it may mislead some of your readers. I don't think s/he meant any harm, s/he simply didn't know any better. I work at a Catholic book store and we often have customers come in asking for blessed oil or other blessed objects (you cannot sell a blessed article) or they ask ME to bless objects (I am not a priest - I am just a sister!) Sometimes they ask for a book that has been refused an imprimatur or that we've been asked to pull from our shelves.
Thanks Maggs, you beat me to it. Under no circumstances should anyone read "Poem of the Man God" it is destroying the most holiest of people. I have witnessed this personally. Stick to private revelations that have the approval of Holy Mother Church! DO NOT READ THAT BOOK!!!
My daughter is a big fan of marine mammals and loves to visit aquariums, zoos and parks like Seaworld so she can watch the animal trainers there. Who would the saint of marine mammal trainers be?
Mother Church can go wrong at times! Take the case of St. Joan of Arc.. Or Galilio ..
The Divine Mercy Devotion was not acknowledged by the Church in the beginning; we know what happened later..
The same thing can happen to the 'Poem' at a later date... I have read the 'Poem' and it was highly inspirational to me. It helped me to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. It helped me a lot to grow in love towards my God my neighbours..
And there is nothing against Catholic Faith or morals in that book.. It is a wonderful book.
Kusumam - Please understand that the church is not "wrong." Some of her members can be wrong, though. The English and French bishops were wrong in regard to Joan of Arc. The English bishops were wrong again when King Henry VIII declared himself head of the Church of England. The church was not "wrong" in Galileo's case (not Galilio.) They simply wanted more time to understand his discoveries so as to explain it to the (common) people without causing them to be scandalized. The simple folk were not ready to understand his discoveries at the time. (God took thousands of years to develop the theology of the Eucharist.) As for the Divine Mercy devotion, again the Church was not wrong. It was full of anti-semetic petitions that needed to be reworded else we would ALL be branded as anti-semitic. During the time when it was banned, I did not pray it. You would do well to be obedient to the Church while she investigates that which is entrusted to her. The same holds true of apparitions. It sometimes takes years to sift through the facts. We must be patient, as we are not privvy to all the facts, and in many, MANY cases (La Salette comes to mind) the Church is protecting the reputation of the seers at the same time as it is conducting its investigation. You are correct - the Church may, at some point, change its opinion of the "poem," but until it does, we should stay away from it, like obedient children. Otherwise, how are we any different from Eve, who was deceived by the serpent? God said "Do not eat..." and the serpent tricked her by getting her to rely on her own understanding. Please - do not fall for the same trick! You can grow in love towards God and neighbour in approved ways, such as practicing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. I can, as well. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by waiting until the Church allows for something. Agreed?
10 comments:
St.Dismas did have an encounter with Jesus! You can read it in Maria Valtorta's "Poem of the Man-God."
One thing that helps me with unforgiveness is a purely selfish realization: If I don't forgive, the only person it really harms is me! Failure to forgive is something that eats you alive and makes you unhappy. After I examine how the unforgiveness is hurting me, I ask for forgiveness and help to forgive.
Often the best route is to be extra loving to the one I must forgive. (Yes, perversely, it's the old "coals of fire" route) Amazingly, it works! It turns the sinfulness back to where it should reside: with the one who sinned first against me. And it often brings repentance.
Interesting! My two favorite bloggers both write about forgiveness today. Simcha Fisher's insightful article is here: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/forgiveness-cell-by-cell
Thanks for pointing out that we CAN demand apologies and reparations. I think it also helps to look at our definition of love when we are trying to love again. For me, C.S. Lewis's definition is most useful: "One's good is to be the good of another". So, I don't necessarily have to have warm, fuzzy feelings for the person whom I'm trying to forgive, but I should desire good for him/her. Or to start with, maybe just not negative things.
And I like the word unforgiveness too!
God bless you. I needed this...
One of my favorite priests said in a sermon once that forgiving someone doesn't mean standing in front of them and joyfully saying, "Here! Slap me again!" It means letting yourself be open to the possibility that the slapper may change into a non-slapper. Which isn't the same thing as treating them as if they HAVE changed without good, strong evidence, or treating yourself as if your own pain from past slaps has healed when it hasn't.
No, dear readers, you should NOT go and read "Poem of the Man God." Here is what Father Mitch Packwa has to say about it:
Remarkably, the book has grown in popularity in part because its champions
claim that high Church officials--including one Pope--endorsed it. They
haven't. In fact, "Poem" was included on the Index of Forbidden books
until the abolition of the Index in the 1960s. No less an authority than
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of
the Faith, reiterates the Church's rejection of the claims made for "The
Poem of the Man-God."
You can google it to find this quote.
Sister Mary Martha, I would suggest you remove the first comment by anonymous, as it may mislead some of your readers. I don't think s/he meant any harm, s/he simply didn't know any better. I work at a Catholic book store and we often have customers come in asking for blessed oil or other blessed objects (you cannot sell a blessed article) or they ask ME to bless objects (I am not a priest - I am just a sister!) Sometimes they ask for a book that has been refused an imprimatur or that we've been asked to pull from our shelves.
Thank you, Sister!
Maggs
Thanks Maggs, you beat me to it. Under no circumstances should anyone read "Poem of the Man God" it is destroying the most holiest of people. I have witnessed this personally. Stick to private revelations that have the approval of Holy Mother Church! DO NOT READ THAT BOOK!!!
My daughter is a big fan of marine mammals and loves to visit aquariums, zoos and parks like Seaworld so she can watch the animal trainers there. Who would the saint of marine mammal trainers be?
Mother Church can go wrong at times! Take the case of St. Joan of Arc.. Or Galilio ..
The Divine Mercy Devotion was not acknowledged by the Church in the beginning; we know what happened later..
The same thing can happen to the 'Poem' at a later date... I have read the 'Poem' and it was highly inspirational to me. It helped me to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. It helped me a lot to grow in love towards my God my neighbours..
And there is nothing against Catholic Faith or morals in that book.. It is a wonderful book.
Kusumam - Please understand that the church is not "wrong." Some of her members can be wrong, though. The English and French bishops were wrong in regard to Joan of Arc. The English bishops were wrong again when King Henry VIII declared himself head of the Church of England. The church was not "wrong" in Galileo's case (not Galilio.) They simply wanted more time to understand his discoveries so as to explain it to the (common) people without causing them to be scandalized. The simple folk were not ready to understand his discoveries at the time. (God took thousands of years to develop the theology of the Eucharist.) As for the Divine Mercy devotion, again the Church was not wrong. It was full of anti-semetic petitions that needed to be reworded else we would ALL be branded as anti-semitic. During the time when it was banned, I did not pray it. You would do well to be obedient to the Church while she investigates that which is entrusted to her. The same holds true of apparitions. It sometimes takes years to sift through the facts. We must be patient, as we are not privvy to all the facts, and in many, MANY cases (La Salette comes to mind) the Church is protecting the reputation of the seers at the same time as it is conducting its investigation. You are correct - the Church may, at some point, change its opinion of the "poem," but until it does, we should stay away from it, like obedient children. Otherwise, how are we any different from Eve, who was deceived by the serpent? God said "Do not eat..." and the serpent tricked her by getting her to rely on her own understanding. Please - do not fall for the same trick! You can grow in love towards God and neighbour in approved ways, such as practicing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. I can, as well. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by waiting until the Church allows for something. Agreed?
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