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Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Happy Birthday, Mary!

It's really hard to walk on crutches at all, let alone while wearing a habit. I've taken to rolling around the convent house in the office chair.

So I rolled right here to wish Mary a happy birthday!

Yes, today is the feast of Our Blessed Mother's birth. I have to have people getting me every little thing, so I don't think I'll ask them to get cake. We'll just think about cake while we're eating whatever Sister Saint Aloysius is making.

I was telling the story of the Virgin Mary for a while here. I left off when we hit the part that is actually written in the New Testament, so I'd thought I'd pick up where the New Testament leaves off.

After Jesus dies, Mary lives a quiet life in her little mud hut. The Apostles and disciples visit her often. Here we have an example of the 'simple' life. "Simple" like the Amish and the magazine, not like the children of Fatima, Lourdes, and LaSalette. I read somewhere that the Franciscans have figured out how old Mary was when she died. Sixty four. Or....eighty six...I forget.

There is a story of everyone gathering as she grew weak and old and the women lifting her head to drink juice from smashed yellow berries. Pulled from the ether that one, I think.

But she did die, the apostles wrapped her up and buried her and three days later her body was gone. Everyone assumed she was assumed into heaven.

Now get this straight. Jesus ascended into heaven. He flew up there himself, so to speak..or floated or whatever...but under his own steam. He did this so there would be no doubt where he went. He didn't disappear, or go down. He went up. It doesn't mean heaven is actually up. It's just that we all think of heaven as up and hell as down and here as here. So he went up so everyone would know where he went.

Mary was assumed into heaven. The angels took her up. We guess. Maybe Jesus came and got her. She didn't go under her own steam.

When I was little I thought that when the priest said Mary was assumed into heaven he meant 'we don't know what happened we just think this is want happened' as in 'we assumed her to be in heaven' shortened to 'assumed into heaven'. Follow me?

But that's wrong.

After Mary got to heaven there was a big ceremony and she was crowned Queen of Heaven. Dont' believe me? Check your glorious mysteries, it's right in there.

So that's that. You can still visit the little house in which Mary lived in her elder years. It's in Italy. It got there by itself. Well....the angels moved it.

It was under attack by the infidels (not us, the other infidels) so the angels flew it somewhere else. Shepards suddenly discovered the clay hut that wasn't there yesterday. It stayed there for three years and pow! it was gone again. This time it was spotted flying to it's next location where it stayed for quite some time until the devotions turned ugly...you know, selling glow in the dark rosaries, or the dark ages equivilent of glow in the dark rosaries. And then the angels moved it to Loretto, Italy, where it remains today.

Did the angels fly Mary's house to Italy? Yes they did. There was a family by the name of Angeli who had it brought to Loretto. The Angeli's brought it. You get the picture.

Did the angels fly Mary in to heaven. We assume so.

We know her body is 'up' there.


Christine said...

And what, pray tell, is wrong with a glow in the dark rosary? I love mine. I can read my book by it ;). And it keeps me from tripping on my way to the bathroom.

Sister Mary Martha said...

I shouldn't have said anything. I used to give them away as cathechism prizes. Be sure to charge it up.

seeking_something said...

hah hah ... you're a blast ... sorry, I'm not about to go through the entire archive, so what order are you with? How long have you been a nun? I do enjoy your blog (whatever portion I happen to read).

Sister Mary Martha said...


Not read the archives? It's not that long, lazy bones. Go stand in the corner.

seeking_something said...

Yes, Sister. Thank you for teaching me. I'd love an opportunity to just stand in a corner ... may I stay there for a while?

seeking_something said...

Uh, would you spell out for me what SSWN stands for? I did try searching for it on the web but haven't had much luck. Thanks.