Sister St. Aloysius opted not to wear a full habit. She used to wear a little veil, but dropped that a while back. She feels she can better serve if she blends in, like an undercover cop. It is not my purpose here to get into the forty some odd year argument whether the clergy should or should not be recognizable from across a football field. I can tell you she sometimes gets an earful.

Yesterday she got an invitation.

I have to tell you two things. One, it is my firm belief, now slightly shaken, that you can still spot a nun. Those funny little bangs give them away. I call them "nun bangs". And the shoes. Two, we live in the Los Angeles area.

The invitation that Sister St. Aloysius received was for a cuddle party. I wish I was joking. I wish the people who extended the invitation were joking.

It wasn't a very personal invitation, I'll grant you that. People were handing out flyers and shoved one into her hand. I maintain the bangs and the shoes still should have waved them off.

Here's the more horrible thing. I actually already knew there was such a thing. I saw a report about it on the news. I can't think what news I was watching, but it was report about new trends. Cuddle parties are a new trend. A group of people gather in someone's apartment, the cuddle co-ordinators, who are the flimsiest of new agey therapists, give a speech. The rules are laid out to everyone, as you can imagine what you might have to say to a group of adult strangers who are about to lie on the floor and 'cuddle' each other, then the people pair off and cuddle and then they cuddle in ever larger groups until in the end they have a 'dog pile'. No mention is made of the sins that are about to occur, the near occassions of sin and actual sins that are occuring, probably even during this little speech, or how really pathetic this all is. Did I mention they all show up wearing pajamas? I believe my brain wanted me to skip that part. They all show up in pajamas.

Here's my flyer: Join the Catholic Church.


We have a cuddle party right in the middle of each Mass! Catholics have been complaining about 'the handshake of peace' for years, but there you have it. In the middle of the Mass we all have to turn to each other, shake hands and say, "Peace Be With You." In many parishes the handshake has progressed to hugging. Desperate for human contact? Go to Mass. That's enough contact for you.

What to show up places dressed out of the norm? Join the clergy. We have an array of comfortable garb. Don't believe me? What does the priest wear? A robe.

Need someone to explain the rules. Brother, we have got that covered.

And finally, if you feel the need to have a dogpile, after you're third child and way before your ninth, you will have this wonderful experience.

Sister St. Aloysius got her veil back down from the closet.