About Me

My photo
Life is tough. Nuns are tougher.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

July 5th A Day That Will Live in Infamy

Today is truly a day for mourning and penance. Today is the 60th anniversary of the invention of the bikini swim suit. That means for 60 years women of all ages (and body types!) have been leading men to sin on beaches and in magazines, on cruise ships and in Elvis movies ( a category of sin in itself).

Perhaps it has escaped some of you ho wmany sins you may be commiting by wearing a bikini swim suit.

Well, let's examine that. Obviously the first purpose would be to show off the body. You're body was not made by God to show off. It was made to work hard and make Catholic babies. Or for whatever else God wants to do with it. Sin one: Pride.

And WHY do you want to show it off? Why to be attractive to men of course. And just HOW are you going to attract them, with S-E-X. Enough said.

So that's a double sin on you: 1. your sin of wanting to tempt men and then when you meet your 'goal' 2. you are responsible for the sin you have caused in another. He's responsible too, but so are you, that's just the way it works. Sorry if you don't like it.

Now get this: each waggle of the hips for your sorry purpose is a sin, each long stroke of sun tan oil down your back for the 'lucky' boy you've chosen for the job is a sin, each bounce of whatever it is that is bouncing and shouldn't be as you run for the water is a sin. And each and every one of these sins is at least a double sin on you. If the beach is particularly crowded the numbers rival the amount of money spent on the Iraq war.

Yes, today is a day of penance and mourning. There's only three of us left here at the convent to pray for your immortal souls. You are going to have to pick up the slack.

No comments: