Life is tough. But Nuns are tougher. If you need helpful advice just Ask Sister Mary Martha.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Q&A with Sister Mary Martha
Well, we've covered a lot of ground in a month's time. Time now to pause and reflect.
We've talked about Purgatory, sin, near occassions of sin, the devil, hell, exorcism, several lives of the saints, Fatima, the immortal soul and why your pet isn't going to heaven.
Of course it's all the tip of the iceberg isn't it?
Next week I'm going to devote several essays to Our Blessed Mother, why she's so popular, what she has to say, who gets a visit from her and what we think about all of that. You might want to alert the people of lesser faiths...I mean...separated brethen...as they seem to have a bee in their bonnet about the Catholic view point on Mary.
An Angel Ponders
Meanwhile I thought we could spend a day or two answering questions. I know you must be brimming with curiosity. Let me lay to rest the answer to two really stupid questions I get all the time:
1. Do nuns have ears?
answer: How stupid are you? How else do we catch you whispering to your neighbor during Mass?
2. Do nuns have hair?
answer: yes, but not much. In the old old days, the early days of the church and whatnot, a woman's hair was her one great adornment. Regular people didn't have access to fancy clothes and cheap costume jewelry. A woman's hair was the one thing she could 'fashion'. So we lopped that stuff right off to show our humility and we still do. A good tradition and cooler in the summer.
Now onto more meaty issues! Fire away!
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I have not been able to find a 6am mass. How long can I go without attending mass? Can I watch or listen to a church service on the radio/television?
You can't miss mass on Sunday. Each time you do it's mortal sin. If you die with a mortal sin on your soul you go straight to hell.
And you can't watch 'The Mass for Shut-In's on TV if you're not 'shut in, although maybe if you do it will only be a venial sin and we'll all have to try and pray you out of Purgatory.
Here are some options that don't include a trip to hell:
1. Go to mass on Saturday evening with the other lazy people.
2. Make sure you always wear a scapular. Our Lady has promised us that a person wearing the scapular 'will not see the fires of hell.'
Technically, she didn't promise that. She promised that anyone wearing the brown scapular of a Carmelite (meaning a nun or priest) would not see the fires of hell, because the Carmelites were being 'supressed' at the time and she gave them a big shot in the arm with her statement. The Pope was so enamored with the event he extended the priviledge to anyone wearing the teeny piece of felt.
3. Go to our shop (there's a link over to your left!) and pick up the EMERGENCY PASS TO HEAVEN necklace or bracelet. With that and a priest at your death bed you're good to go.
Is it a sin to refer to statuettes of the saints as 'action figures'? A friend refers to them as such. He has not added weapons or painted capes on them.
Fishmartha, sin is about intent. I think of the saints as super heroes. They were certainly 'action figures'...figures that took action!
A lot of them have weapons already. And capes! Think of the apostles! Cape city! The martyrs are always depicted with the weapon that killed them. Lots of them have axes and swords, spiked wheels, grills, arrows...quite an arsenal.
If he's calling them 'action figures' to demean them...tell him to pick up our "emergency pass to heaven."
okay, so i just realized nuns wear 'wedding' rings. do they get to pick these out or are they just happy with what their intended (presumably, the big G) picks out? can they get upgrades on their significant anniversaries?
Not all nuns wear wedding rings. Some orders do not. For those that do, it's standard convent issue.
But St. Catherine of Sienna, among other female saints, got her ring, which was invisible, for Our Lady herself. The Blessed Mother gave Catherine the ring AND presided over the wedding of her son and St. Catherine.
You should be so lucky.
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